The Assassins' Guild

[06:15 AM] First Blo... Nope. Death can come at any time- only if he can find you. Pills_Here lives too see another day

[08:05 AM] First Blood! Vlad the Impaler goes on a rampage and slaughters Owen Hicks (a.k.a. Crazy Little Thing Called Death) and catches Adrian Li (a.k.a. Raindial) at lectures

[12:00 PM] Random Strategy is apparently necessary for devouring a Matt Arran (a.k.a. A jam sandwich)

[12:00 PM] We have our first wanted player

[12:00 PM] Rajkumar Ram Sarujan (a.k.a. Super Mario) gets 1 up on Hieu (Hugh) Trong Nguyen (a.k.a. ODB) but Haiku strikes him from the shadows

[13:00 PM] The wanted list increases in size as Christopher Arran (The Thin Man) shoots an innocent

[14:40 PM] Strange Quark tries to visit the fearsome Captain Stabby

[18:00 PM] The Thin Man fled in fear from Conan's empty room

[18:20 PM] Chris Dobson and Spaghetti Bolognaise team up to shoot An Innocent Rabbit. Alex Jones (a.k.a. Chris Dobson) learns that such innocent appearances can be deceiving. But alas, Christopher Judge (a.k.a. An Innocent Rabbit) is taken out by Spaghetti Bolognaise

[20:30 PM] Crazy Little Thing Called Death and Mr Potatohead hunt a lot of dudes

[21:00 PM] Chocolate Biscuit discovers he has a hungry stalker

[21:10 PM] Captain Cephalopod defeats Neal Carr (a.k.a. The Evil Emperor Zurg) in an epic final battle of pure epicness

[23:30 PM] Lupus takes out Alexander Johnson (a.k.a. Strange Quark). Maybe he should have been more charming

Thursday, 27 January

[08:56 AM] Vlad the Impaler brings down Andy Marsh (a.k.a. Professor Layton)

[13:30 PM] Proper Noun seeks to correct Trillian and Girton Landeconomist but neither can be found...

[17:00 PM] Hugh Collins (a.k.a. The Procrastinator) finally finds time catches up him and is eliminated by Tea Dog

[21:20 PM] Jonathan Bootle (a.k.a. Dangermouse) runs out of luck and is killed by Haiku

Friday, 28 January

[12:03 PM] Dan Ivtsan (Sleazy) received a terminal visitation from Vlad the Impaler

[13:00 PM] Frab performed some intensive investigation into the nature of Torquemada

[14:00 PM] Elmo is getting paranoid

[16:00 PM] Vlad the Impaler impaled Rob May-Miller (Mr Potatohead)

[21:50 PM] Dr. Facilier rather sneakily convinced Janice Heng (Proper Noun) and Lei Cao (Erena) to shoot each other

Saturday, 29 January

[08:45 AM] Death came for Daniel Thomas (Pills_Here), but someone else got in the way of his deadly touch

[09:15 AM] Argon left Rebecca Odman-Stonehouse (Rio) inert

[10:00 AM] Christopher Arran (The Thin Man) found out he was allergic to Chocolate Biscuits

[11:00 AM] Vlad the Impaler / struck down Tom Durrant (Haiku) / blood is everywhere

[11:10 AM] Zeno stabbed Joshua Lovell (LHO) on his way back from lectures

[12:00 PM] Luke Robins was visited by persons unknown

[13:00 PM] Vlad the Impaler took out Julian Willis (Dr. Boss), but was a little bit naughty along the way

[19:00 PM] Mustrum Ridcully attempted to reverse some necromancy

[20:30 PM] Elmo offered a Chocolate Biscuit to Nicholas John Caldwell (Unhappy Farmer)

[21:00 PM] Justin Bieber serenaded a Pidgeon

Sunday, 30 January

[15:00 PM] Sarah Fox (Madre Fox) tried to eat a Carrot, but found it did fit in well with her carnivorous diet

[15:10 PM] Vlad the Impaler pierced Jennifer Purcell (Elmo)

[16:20 PM] An Armed Bastard tried to kill Lupus, who in his wolfish attempts to defend himself injured a bystander

[17:30 PM] Dr. Facilier visited his psychiatric patient Twinkle "kills with a chainsaw" Popopo

Monday, 31 January

[08:50 AM] Vlad the Impaler murders Charles Board (a.k.a. Kellanved) and then digests A.S.Sassin (a.k.a. Spaghetti Bolognaise)

[09:40 AM] Trillian and Girton Landeconomist search for Zeno and Subject Twelve with no avail. After an unfortunate mistake, Thomas Clausen (a.k.a. Girton Landeconomist) dies to Vlad the Impaler.

[10:00 AM] Kippers by Post waits patiently for CylonSeven

[12:00 PM] Mark Brown (a.k.a. Luminara) is savaged by Lady Vanity's steed

[18:40 PM] Lupus goes insane and slaughters Policeman Willikins

[19:30 PM] Captain Stabby takes on the task to eliminate Vlad the Impaler. Mission status: [STATUS-REDACTED]

[22:30 PM] Lupus continues their rampage and blindly slaughters Tom Reynolds (a.k.a. Torquemada)

[23:00 PM] Ryan Robinson (a.k.a. Lupus) meets his end in an epic duel against Uncle Fester

[23:30 PM] Paper Mario stabs the ghost of Lupus

Tuesday, 1 February

[12:00 PM] Yuming Mei (a.k.a. Spud Money) is greeted by a familiar Armed Bastard

[13:00 PM] Sandhya Sreekumar (a.k.a. Sir Humphrey Pennington) is overthrown by Lady Vanity

[16:00 PM] Luke Robins forms an unlikely partnership with Captain Cephalopod and attempts to trap Vlad the Impaler

[19:30 PM] Policeman Ivan Aquaspecus briefly seeks for Death

[21:00 PM] Chocolate Biscuit and Ballrooms on Mars can't find Vlad the Impaler

Wednesday, 2 February

[05:00 AM] Welcome to Week 2

[08:00 AM] Vlad the Impaler conquers Luke Robins (a.k.a. Death)

[13:00 PM] Zeno blows Zoe Asquith (a.k.a. Lord Walrus)'s mind

[14:00 PM] Abdulah Fawaz (a.k.a. Shawty) is cut down by Miley

[17:00 PM] Captain Cephalopod extends his hatred of vertebrate to sweet Chocolate Pandas

[19:30 PM] The Loathsome Lemon lays low, leaving Velijan Effendi let down

[20:00 PM] Harry Lime searches for Asprango

Thursday, 3 February

[12:00 PM] Katalya needs somebody to love and searches for Justin Bieber

[15:00 PM] Daddio can't locate The Random Variable

[21:00 PM] Captain Funtimes sends a friendly warning to Trillian

[23:00 PM] A Ferruginous Pygmy-owl soars but fails to catch a glimpse of So-tea-rios Johnson

Friday, 4 February

[10:48 AM] This pseudonym has thirty two letters finds Asprango out

[13:00 PM] Aneurin John (Nye) Redman White (a.k.a. 3rd person future conditional) is now history. Vlad the Impaler strike him down

[14:10 PM] So-tea-rios Johnson tries to catch Dranoel but finds Flatulus is messing with him

[17:25 PM] Captain Stabby fights the ongoing siege of Frab, The Random Variable and Richard Carlton

[19:15 PM] Vlad the Impaler ends Alex Wheatley (a.k.a. Captain Cephalopod)'s bloodthirst for all things spinal

[21:00 PM] Richard Carlton is kept busy trying to catch Harry Lime and The Loathsome Lemon

Saturday, 5 February

[02:29 AM] Vlad the Impaler strikes at lgbtea but misses his heart. Tea Kew (a.k.a. lgbtea) later dies of a related heart attack

[13:45 PM] The hammer of Blind Io strikes thunder down on Luke Haggerty (a.k.a. Vlad the Impaler)

[14:30 PM] Kippers by Post takes out Peter E Conn (a.k.a. Richard Carlton)

[16:00 PM] Pidgeon swoops in on Lanced Jack nest

Sunday, 6 February

[13:30 PM] Incobash happened! People dying ftw

Monday, 7 February

[12:05 PM] Caroline Clark (a.k.a. Twinkle "kills with a chainsaw" Popopo) learns that Chocobos are easily frightened

[16:30 PM] Daniel Threlfall (a.k.a. Asprango) is distracted and doesn't notice the looming shadow of Otto Chriek

Tuesday, 8 February

[12:00 PM] A gender neutral anagram of "we take" misses an elusive anagram of "Hobo Coc" Hint: Chocobo

[16:00 PM] Twoflower takes a disliking to Vicky Roth (a.k.a. Boy 1だ)

[16:15 PM] Dr. Facilier lurks for Twinkle "kills with a chainsaw" Popopo

[18:15 PM] Edward Cook (a.k.a. The Village Green Preservation Society) is folded when Uncle Fester becomes head

[19:00 PM] Paper Mario is one game Jordan Brown (a.k.a. Lanced Jack) can't handle

Wednesday, 9 February

[01:30 AM] Duncan Gavin Goudie (a.k.a. Leeroy Jenkins)'s Unholy Warcry attracts the attention of Mustrum Ridcully and Detritus

[05:00 AM] Week 3 commences...

[11:23 AM] Otto Chriek goes corrupt

[15:00 PM] A gender neutral anagram of "we take" can't find anagrams of "Men birth in a Jungle" or "Vinyl at day". The Lumbering Ninja and Lady Vanity are safe for another day

[17:30 PM] Twoflower stabs Douglas Thomson (a.k.a. Tea Dog)

[18:30 PM] Arathi Ramachandran (a.k.a. Argon) reacted badly to Lady Vanity. Ballrooms on Mars watches from the dark space

[18:55 PM] Jeff Carpenter (a.k.a. SHLUF) is frightened to death by the sight of Otto Chriek

Thursday, 10 February

[12:00 PM] Adam Wright (a.k.a. Justin Bieber) is DEAD! Otto Chriek brings about his death in a horrible bloody way that can not be described in words

[16:00 PM] Rupert Rutledge (a.k.a. The Loathsome Lemon) lies lifeless; left lunching on Otto Chriek's biscuits

[17:30 PM] Ballrooms on Mars and Chocolate Biscuit offer the joys of chocolate and dancing but CylonSeven, Zeno and Subject Twelve seem uninterested

[18:30 PM] Matthew Cook (a.k.a. The Lumbering Ninja) clumsily walks straight into Otto Chriek

Friday, 11 February

[13:10 PM] Abigail See (a.k.a. Armed Bastard)'s raid takes a turn for the worse and ends up fleeing from the somewhat scary Uncle Fester

[13:40 PM] Stephen Hobbs (a.k.a.Subject Twelve) is eliminated. Assailant : Otto Chriek

[16:00 PM] The Luggage finds that Subject Twelve has since been eliminated and his corpse unreachable

[16:20 PM] Zeno shows Eileen Wagner (a.k.a. Trillian)'s existence to be paradoxical and so Eileen Wagner ceases to exist. Carrot Ironfoundersson retaliates and goes corrupt

Saturday, 12 February

[09:00 AM] Captain Stabby gives Kippers by Post a lecture visit

[15:00 PM] Velijan Effendi eliminates Imogen Gold (a.k.a. Harry Lime)

[17:50 PM] Mr. Marrowhead is mistaken as a tasty snack for Otto Chriek

[19:20 PM] Captain Stabby and Bloody Stupid Johnson try and find Otto Chriek

[20:00 PM] Daddio finds the corpse of the late Trillian

Sunday, 13 February

[13:30 PM] So-tea-rios Johnson finds its a cold world and can't find Velijan Effendi for an 'interview'

[15:00 PM] Otto Chriek goes more corrupt for thinking an innocent was a Carrot. Easy mistake.

[18:00 PM] This pseudonym has thirty two letters can't find the elusive Captain Funtimes

[20:00 PM] The Random Variable tries to catch Velijan Effendi

[21:40 PM] Brook Roberts (a.k.a. Carrot) gets munched by Otto Chriek

[22:10 PM] The newly polished hammer of Blind Io thunderstrikes Sophie Evingar (a.k.a. Daddio) and Katie Vann (a.k.a. Captain Funtimes)

[22:50 PM] LHOII - Deceased. Due to Otto Chriek

Monday, 14 February

[00:00 AM] An A-Muse-ing Bounty...

[10:00 AM] Frab goes for his checkup with Dr. Facilier

[21:00 PM] CylonSeven and LHOII - Deceased both evade Kippers by Post

Tuesday, 15 February

[18:15 PM] Dr. Facilier goes to check on his esteemed patient, Lady Vanity

Wednesday, 16 February

[02:47 AM] Ben Webb (a.k.a. CylonSeven) is brought to justice by Samuel Vimes. Lesson learnt: Don't tick off the Chief of the Police

[05:00 AM] Week 4 begins...

[11:00 AM] Otto Chriek sets straight Bloody Stupid Johnson

[12:15 PM] Uncle Fester stays hidden from those who are Envious of Basics Chocolate Digestives

[12:30 PM] Otto Chriek uses his brain to eliminate Nick Chambers (a.k.a. Miley)

[14:00 PM] A gender neutral anagram of "we take" can't find an anagram for 'Limey'. Oh come on, how am I supposed to find a better anagram for Miley

[19:10 PM] Dr. Facilier and Chocolate Biscuit go hunting... at the same time as Otto Chriek. The incompetent Premchand Brian (a.k.a. Dr. Facilier) is shot

Thursday, 17 February

[10:15 AM] The Death of Rats and Inn-Sewer-Ants seek to bring justice to Otto Chriek. Otto Chriek is, however, very wary and slays Inn-Sewer-Ants

[12:30 PM] Uncle Fester is still not Envious of Basics Chocolate Digestives. A gender neutral anagram of "we take" is and so gets a mutilated

[13:05 PM] Michael Sargent (a.k.a. A gender neutral anagram of "we take") is shot by 'A lay kat' a.k.a. Katalya

[19:00 PM] Petras Balciunas (a.k.a. This pseudonym has thirty two letters) is cut down to size by Ballrooms on Mars

Friday, 18 February

[12:00 PM] Hume lurks for the despicable Carrot Ironfoundersson

[14:00 PM] The Random Variable can not be ascertained by Chocobo

[18:00 PM] The Death of Rats vs. Otto Chriek in a duel to the death. Otto Chriek comes out on top after several tense standoffs.

[19:00 PM] The Daily Mail just can't seem to get that special interview with Ballrooms on Mars

[22:30 PM] Chocobo gets a lurker known only as Frab

Saturday, 19 February

[10:50 AM] Captain Stabby wants to find where he can get Kippers by Post

[14:30 PM] Katalya searches for Uncle Fester

[17:00 PM] Chocolate Biscuit and the lovely Susan Sto Helit search in vain for Zeno

[18:15 PM] Otto Chriek with the help of Carrot Ironfoundersson take out Gaspode. Otto Chriek kills yet another innocent...

[20:30 PM] Velijan Effendi evades a night lurking by The Random Variable

Sunday, 20 February

[17:00 PM] A Ferruginous Pygmy-owl seems to have a lazy nest as Velijan Effendi fails to get inside

[18:30 PM] A certain Pidgeon may have been home but to Kippers by Post was this unknown

[20:00 PM] The unlikely team of So-tea-rios Johnson, A Ferruginous Pygmy-owl and I have no need for a pseudo since I'm going to kill the CoP hunt for Zeno and Pidgeon. So-tea-rios Johnson has a rant

Monday, 21 February

[11:00 AM] Today, they found dead Leonard of Quirm, an act of Otto Chriek they did confirm...

[12:00 PM] Being loose with your identity, no mistake is greater, as we find Zeno has killed Daniel Baker (a.k.a. Chocobo AKA The Daily Mail)

[12:15 PM] When finding Zeno gets too tough, Otto Chriek's bounty might be enough

[19:30 PM] Katalya can not be found even when Pidgeon swoops around

[23:00 PM] Zeno can't be tempted to eat it seems, be it Chocolate Biscuit or custard creams

Tuesday, 22 February

[09:00 AM] The Random Variable lurks Captain Stabby

[16:00 PM] Legs, Crippled Willikins ain't got'em, they've been nicked by Cheery Littlebottom

[17:00 PM] Otto Chriek is full of glee as he eliminates Rob Sullivan (a.k.a. Captain Stabby). An attempted trap turned to tradegy, Sam Tyler survives another day, for using full water, Otto Chriek will pay

[18:00 PM] The Police go about their business- Mustrum Ridcully and Special Constable Trilobite fail to arrest Dorfl and Carrot Ironfoundersson

[18:30 PM] Maria Francesca O' Connor (a.k.a. Pidgeon) are known to be prey, of Samuel Vimes who helped slay, today this inco, you see, with the help of I have no need for a pseudo since I'm going to kill the CoP.

[21:00 PM] The Random Variable isn't very happy, he couldn't find the corpse of Captain Stabby

[22:44 PM] James Parish-Bassett (a.k.a. Uncle Fester) can't handle being Envious of Basics Chocolate Digestives

[22:45 PM] Paper Mario tries to be sharp with Envious of Basics Chocolate Digestives but Chocolate Biscuit cuts him to pieces

Wednesday, 23 February

[05:01 AM] Week 5... (Can't be much longer to go guys)

[09:00 AM] Mrs Cake couldn't forsee her own death by Otto Chriek

[09:45 AM] Reg Shoe takes down the wanted suspect: Carrot Ironfoundersson

[14:00 PM] Anghammarad gets smashed by Otto Chriek

[19:25 PM] Daniel Gregory Wallace O'Brien (a.k.a. So-tea-rios Johnson a.k.a. Charlie) goes mad at the concept of Ballrooms on Mars

Thursday, 24 February

[12:00 PM] Being incompotent, you really shouldn't do, as Detritus is slain by Policeman Reg Shoe

[13:30 PM] Frab is one of the few keen for a Chocolate Biscuit but can't find one anywhere

[14:00 PM] The Librarian is having such a busy day that they didn't even notice about being killed by Kippers by Post

[22:00 PM] Velijan Effendi can't really be tempted by Ballrooms on Mars or a Chocolate Biscuit

Friday, 25 February

[00:02 AM] The Umpire didn't actually forgot to enter a headline

[16:30 PM] Zeno is unfindable to Kippers by Post

[18:40 PM] The Death of Rats with a Broken Tail spys on Twoflower, but without having a scythe at hand, he's completely without power

[20:10 PM] The hammer of Blind Io strikes thunder down on The Luggage

Saturday, 26 February

[15:30 PM] Hume be seeking Katalya

[17:15 PM] Hester Thorneycroft (a.k.a. A Ferruginous Pygmy-owl) by Velijan Effendi's gun did it fall foul

Sunday, 27 February

[17:20 PM] Amy Johnson (a.k.a. Katalya) did a no-no, after opening the door to the one called Zeno

[19:00 PM] Norwegian Blue has birthday insanity, which results in the death of Stephanie Leddington (a.k.a. Lady Vanity AKA Envious of Basics Chocolate Digestives)

Monday, 28 February

[11:05 AM] It is apparently illegal to send Amelia Penny (a.k.a. Kippers by Post), as Special Constable Trilobite proudly boasts

[13:00 PM] Frab has an encounter with the Second Avatar of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

[15:00 PM] The Hermes Expunger can't locate Frab

[16:00 PM] Juliet Griffin (a.k.a. The Random Variable) has finally been located, at the Ballrooms on Mars

[22:00 PM] Epsilon less than zero is rather bored and draws me something pretty

Tuesday, 1 March

[09:05 AM] Big Mad Drongo sorts out Twoflower

[14:00 PM] Using Ivan Aquaspecus's combined knowledge of criminal activity and basic biology, he searches for Incos

[20:30 PM] The Random Variable can't relocate Reg Shoe

[22:00 PM] Arthur Savile (a.k.a. Velijan Effendi) has been beaten, by the Second Avatar of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and had no chance of eat'n

Wednesday, 2 March

[15:00 PM] Frab is another to find the corpse of The Random Variable

[17:00 PM] Frab is hungry for a Chocolate Biscuit and Zeno

[22:00 PM] Blind Io suffers from the poor singing of Epsilon less than zero. Epsilon less than zero is now corrupt + BOUNTY

Thursday, 3 March

[08:35 AM] The Death of Rats with a Broken Tail watches intently the sand-timer of Epsilon less than zero

[10:00 AM] Reg Shoe finds that the only of finding Epsilon less than zero is in fact by Random Strategy

[11:55 AM] Big Mad Drongo shows not only failed to find Epsilon less than zero but has proved, in fact, that it can not be done

[12:55 PM] Big Mad Drongo is stumbling over the conundrum of Epsilon less than zero

[13:15 PM] Zeno AKA Hume is the next to fall, as Frab takes out Sean Tull

[18:30 PM] The Death of Rats with a Broken Tail catches up with the zombie of Epsilon less than zero

Friday, 4 March

[13:00 PM] The Hermes Expunger lurks the remaining players

[17:45 PM] I have no need for a pseudo since I'm going to kill the CoP searches for an Angel but only finds furries and The Umpire

[22:05 PM] My name is Sam Tyler. I had an ahem... *accident*, and I woke up dead. Faus... Ehem... Eric takes the kill.

[22:50 PM] Blind Io in super-sneaky mustache disguise finds the corpse of Sam Tyler

Sunday, 6 March

[00:00 AM] Quoth has to deliver a message...

[13:00 PM] Reg Shoe hits Cheery Littlebottom with a spoon. And then again. And again and again and again and again...

Monday, 7 March

[09:30 AM] Reg Shoe tells a tale... The tale of how their Inn-Sewer-Ants paid off...

[13:00 PM] Chocolate Biscuit can't wipeout The Hermes Expunger

[14:00 PM] The Darkness spreads across the land, Big Mad Drongo and Faus... Ehem... Eric remain hidden from sight

[16:30 PM] Norwegian Blue pulls a daring suprise on Frab, who isn't there...

[18:10 PM] Ivan Aquaspecus is pierced by The Darkness

[19:15 PM] The hammer of Blind Io strikes thunder down on Susan Sto Helit

[23:50 PM] Samuel Vimes and Mustrum Ridcully investigate the case of the missing competence- Rincewind and Mrs. Marietta Cosmopilite are found to be at blame. Commander sir Samuel Vimes goes corrupt for shooting an innocent customer in Mrs. Marietta Cosmopilite's property

Tuesday, 8 March

[14:30 PM] The Darkness reaches the University seeking Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully

[19:15 PM] Reg Shoe is tempted into hell by Urglefloggah

[20:30 PM] GAME... OVER... Anna Ermakova (a.k.a. Ballrooms on Mars AKA Second Avatar of the Flying Spaghetti Monster AKA The Hermes Expunger) comes out on top, followed by Craig Slade (a.k.a. Frab) then Emily Room (a.k.a. Chocolate Biscuit AKA Norwegian Blue) after a seige on Craig Slade's home

[21:00 PM] Reg Shoe (escaped with Blind Io-intervention) returns out from the gates of hell -Urglefloggah is killed by Peter Rabbit

[22:00 PM] I have no need for a pseudo since I'm going to kill the CoP keeps their word. Samuel Vimes becomes is crushed into oblivion by a Super-Massive Black Hole

The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

Wednesday, 26 January