The Assassins' Guild - Police List
The Assassins' Guild - Police List Here are the names and details of all those charged with protecting Cambridge from the undesirable elements of society:
| Rank | Pseudonym | Real Name | Email Address | Address | College | Water Weapons Status | Notes |
| Chef of Police | Sweet Gorilla Of Manila | Martin O'Leary | mewo2 at cam.ac.uk | Room 3, 1 Madingley Road | St John's College | No Water | My girlfriend spends considerable portions of her time in my room. Please do not kill her. She can be distinguished from me by her girly long hair. |
| Commissar | "In Soviet Russia, target kills you!" | Tom Booth | tjgb2 at cam.ac.uk | 24 Parkside, room 1. | Peterhouse | Full Water | Mind computer by window, although it should be fairly obvious what not to shoot. |
| Minister of Interior design | White Rabbit | Richard Gibson | rsig2 at cam.ac.uk | C3 Angel Court, The College of the Holy and Undivided Trinity. | Trinity College | Full Water | Apart from being a special boy? None. |
| Agent | Tyr | James Appleton | jma55 at cam.ac.uk | B4a | Girton College | Water With Care | I am an ASNaC. |
| Agent | Rakka | Jenny Chase | jmc80 at cam.ac.uk | Big room at the back, 217 Arbury Road | Girton College | Water With Care | Polymers and Colloids department, Cavendish. Should probably be oob when carrying glassware and going purposefully between labs, but not if sitting around drinking coffee. |
| Constable | Foxy's Angels | Lauren Grest | lsg24 at cam.ac.uk | Peile 302 Newnham | Newnham College | No Water | |
| Constable | Dego the Spanish Jester | Niraj Modha | nm328 at cam.ac.uk | B3 | Robinson College | No Water | |
| Constable | Oook | Stephen Chester | sjc221 at cam.ac.uk | 35 Jesus Lane room 7 | Jesus College | No Water | Lives in a shared house. |
| Visiting Officer | Rohan Slayer of Incos | Rowan Edmondson | rhe23 at hermes.cam.ac.uk | E10 | Selwyn College | No Water | |
| Constable | PJ | Paul Fox | pjf33 at cam.ac.uk | Room 4, 11 Malcolm Street | Jesus College | Water With Care | mind the computer opposite the door, Shared Pigeonholes. |
| Rosa Foetida en bouton | Le Chef | Martin Mariusz Lester | mml27 at cam.ac.uk | Room 6, 4 Mortimer Road | Gonville and Caius Colleg | Full Water | known as Maz. Full Water, but please be sensible. In particular, mind the computers about 3 metres behind the door. lol internet |
| Constable | Alan Bitchmarch, the sequel. | Peter Myerson | C62, Harvey Court | Gonville and Caius Colleg | No Water | ||
| Constable | March hare. Rare. | Martyn Fredlund | mjf58 at cam.ac.uk | a14 Harvey Court | Gonville and Caius Colleg | Water With Care | |
| Constable | good wafflecopters stick together | Alex Labram | ajl59 at cam.ac.uk | Room 7, 69 Jesus Lane | Christ's College | Water With Care | Lives in a shared house. |
| Constable | Roflcopter Ajax | Ed Heaney | eah36 at cam.ac.uk | Room 8, 69 Jesus Lane | Christ's College | No Water | Lives in a shared house |
| Constable | Holberg | Felicity Boyce | fcab2 at cam.ac.uk | D5 | New Hall | Water With Care | |
| Constable | Spingu Schmingu | Nick Plummer | nrp28 at cam.ac.uk | A12, Harvey Court | Gonville and Caius Colleg | No Water | Allergies to nuts, fish, egg, dairy. |
| Minister of Truth | ☠ | Matthew Johnson | mjj29 at cam.ac.uk | Room 1, 36 Emery Street | Trinity Hall | No Water | I live in a shared house, please be considerate of the other residents. I may well be found at my Fiancee's house which is 6 Petworth Street. This house is also shared. I am the secretary of the CU Bowmen and shoot at Kelsie Kerridge on Thursdays and Sundays. I am the Trinity Hall MCR Computing Officer (there are committee meetings every Monday evening). I am listed as a member of the Engineering Department, but my office is actually in the Computer Laborotory. I also run a Scout troop in Chesterton on Wednesdays - the Scout meeting itself and any time we have scouts or parents around (anywhere on the meeting premises, for example) is _strictly_ out of bounds. I often attend the University Bridge Club on Thursdays. If you want to take the bus to my house, the C2 `McKenzie Road' stop is just outside my house. |
| Constable | Gnomic | Edward Saperia | es334 at cam.ac.uk | Room 1, 70 Jesus Lane | Christ's College | Water With Care | Mind the computer. And the papers, lives in a shared house. |
| Constable | an incompetent chump | Jack Eaton | jme41 at cam.ac.uk | P13 | Trinity Hall | Water With Care | |
| Community service agent. | Conner | Ben Swire | brs29 at cam.ac.uk | 424 WH, Homerton | Homerton College | No Water | Homerton college porters have been recently quite vigilant about those on site who are not college members. a photographic ID is preferable if you are caught by them sneaking in. Engineer. |
| Community service agent | Fizzelwick Jr. | Christopher J Jenkins | cjj24 at cam.ac.uk | Benson J2 | Magdalene College | No Water | known as Kit. |
| Community service agent | paper cuts | Philip Bridge | pob21 at cam.ac.uk | R2b | King's College | No Water | |
| Community service agent | Evil Manhunt Munchkin | Lucy Sandbach | lrs29 at cam.ac.uk | E12 | Newnham College | No Water | |
| Alan Bitchmarsh 2 | Peter Myerson | Pem33 at cam.ac.uk | C62, Harvey Court | Gonville and Caius Colleg | No Water | ||
| Mummy thinks Im a special agent | Indefectable | Philip Bielby | pmb45 at cam.ac.uk | A27 Harvey Court | APU | No Water |
These have gone to the great doughnut shop in the sky:
| Rank | Pseudonym | Real Name | College |
| Chief of police | Durandal, high lord of the fryingpan | Chris Knowles | St John's College |
| Superintendent | ck uno | Chris Korek | Pembroke College |
| Intergalactic coastguard of fun-fun-love | Cornelius T. Parrot, Bloodthirsty Pirate and his trusty cabin boy | Michael Richards | None |
| Agent | Raccoon 2 | Michael Wallace | Trinity College |
| "special" | Spingu too! | Nick Plummer | Gonville and Caius Colleg |
| Constable | a rounding error | Callum Dawes | Peterhouse |
| Constable | Levia-Dragon - Daedalus, Protector of the ancient world, all that lives therein and the one holy angel who strikes down upon the three villains of the other plane | Stephen McCann | King's College |
| Visiting Officer | Censer | Jamie Karran | Trinity College |
| Constable | an earthworm | James Gooding | King's College |
| Constable | George Yianni's innocent roommate | Adam Biltcliffe | Clare College |
| Constable | Gully Foyle | Simeon Bird | Pembroke College |
| Constable | Woozy Numbat | Ian Abel | Trinity Hall |
| Constable | La langue | Steve Mounsey | Homerton College |
| Constable | Robette Absinthe | Edward Ullathorne | Fitzwilliam College |
| Constable | Is this a horse or a dog? | James McLeod | Selwyn College |
| Constable | imhotep | Bryony Baines | Gonville and Caius Colleg |
| Constable | ck duo | Chris Korek | Pembroke College |
| Constable | The Incomponator | Lee Harper | Clare College |
| Constable | guns don't kill people, people do, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). | Haibo E | New Hall |
| Constable | Rabid Squirrel | Russ Williams | Clare College |
| Constable | Friendly Fluffy Rabbit! | Rachel White | New Hall |
| Constable | Raccoon | Michael Wallace | Trinity College |
| Constable | Pig Of Genius! | Mike Morley | Trinity College |
| Constable | Giles Caulderwood | James Wardley | Queens' College |
| Community service agent | Melpomene | Alex Hassan | Robinson College |
| Constable | Syphillis | Callum Dawes | Peterhouse |
| Community Service Agent | the Roasted Rooster | Ying Chow | New Hall |
| "Special" Agent | Giles Caulderwood 2 | James Wardley | Queens' College |
| "Special" Agent | Complete Muppet | Chris Knowles | St John's College |
| "Special" agent | The Indefectible One, too! | Philip Bielby | APU |
And these are the names of those who turned to the dark side of the Force, and paid the price:
| Rank | Pseudonym | Real Name | College | Crime |
| Agent | Spingu | Nick Plummer | Gonville and Caius Colleg | Consorting with Del Ahmed and buying him kebabs. |
| Agent | William Wordsworth pushing up the daffodils | Ben Jones | Selwyn College | Ambushing the Police |
| Constable | The Indefectible One | Philip Bielby | APU | Shooting an innocent. |
| Constable | mr. ninja | Adam Hall | Gonville and Caius Colleg | Drunkenly arguing with a criminal about X-Men for several hours. |
| Constable | chesney hawks | Carl Whitehead | Selwyn College | Ambushing the Police |
| Constable | Alan Bitchmarsh and the Yorkshire Rap Collective | Peter Myerson | Gonville and Caius Colleg | Consorting with Del Ahmed |
| Constable | Black cat | Thomas Pope | Magdalene College | Associating with Tom Pugh. |
| Community Service Agent | Raphael | Del Ahmed | Gonville and Caius Colleg | attacking the police |
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