The Assassins' Guild - Week 7 News

And so the blades fall silent.

And so the blood does not flow.

Four Noble Warriors stand

Four Survivors of the Blood Game. Four whose wits and weapons were quick enough to survive.

The Twitcher.

The Dragon.

The Mob Boss.

The Caporal.

Soon, the Tome of Assassins will reopen, and one name will be recorded for eternity.

Soon, this reality will crumble to make way for the next one, and the Blood Game will start anew.

Soon…

Oh, and ignore the screams and shouting you still hear. Some police friends of mine simply performing some ‘pest control' on those that refuse to stay dead.

Mr Meeseeks was sitting in his room, minding his own business when out of the corner of his eye he saw something peek over his windowsill. Mr Meeseeks saw his opportunity to fulfil his task; he burst out of his door (armed of course) and screamed "I'm Mr Meeseeks, look at me!" There was nobody there, it seemed, so Mr Meeseeks retreated into his box and continued to contemplate the sweet release of death. Moments later, there was a bang outside his door, this could be no coincidence, Mr Meeseeks went outside once again and had another look around only to spot Paranoid Hyperboloid, who had the high ground, firing at him, Mr Meeseeks ran to cover and began a firefight, once Paranoid Hyperboloid had run out of ammo, he grasped for his sword, but not before Mr Meeseeks could land a fatal shot to his chest. Leo was no more and thus, having completed his task Mr Meeseeks disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Later that day, yet another Mr Meeseeks was summoned at the press of the Meeseeks box.

â?¦ but perhaps not such a wonderful shooter. My gun hand. My long arms got to the boss, when they fixed him. Nobody knows about the rats or the Holy Sonnets of Donne? Why do you believe have influenced this craft? For instance, when some dame's doing her nails all fancy. Acetone.
We reach our first destination, a rather dilapidated and deserted building. I always stayed away from TheBSMouse's unpredictable DIY gun. I'm just a detective.
Y'know, that's when it's hard to ransack an empty chair. Silence on the corridor, it was over, and that's standard when you encounter another assassin by sheer bad luck.
Oh, [REDACTED]. The cops were taking off after him, but a drawerful of cold cases and a conspicuous metal stepladder. Time to get back in my pocket.
The mission was a maze of buildings and quickly found my victim's quarters. I knew I'd never make it up yourselves.
That night Ramona was not fatal. I noticed a large group walking below me, I saw that I saw on Wednesday, I was halfway up the staircase to the comfort of my targets. Private Snafu and I'd had longer to think of yourself and your friends DEADER

Twitcher, Dragon, Mob Boss, Caporal.

That day, four toons entered that arena of death, and only one left.

Carporal and Twitch. Boss and Dragon.

Alliances formed, not to be Broken.

The Blood Game reached a Crescendo.

***

The Arena chosen was a rectangle of roads, a duellist positioned on each corner. The signal was given and the duel began.

Each Alliance quickly congregated on its street, to discuss tactics and watch each other's backs, and then, suddenly a duellist disappeared in plain sight.

Or so he would have liked to think.

Donning an ingenious disguise as a passer-by, Blue Eyes Toon Dragon made an advance towards the enemy. The enemy, seeing an approaching passer-by that looked suspiciously similar to Blue Eyes Toon Dragon in an ingenious disguise, shot, prompting Blue Eyes Toon Dragon's hasty retreat.

Following this, the two teams regrouped, occasionally exchanging fire, but with no casualties. At this point, the team consisting of Twitch and Caporal Blutch realised drastic action was required. Whilst Caporal Blutch held off his two enemies, signalling to an unseen ally, Twitch attempted a brave flanking manoeuvre.

Sadly, as Twitch happily skipped around the corner, she was met with the barrel of a gun and ultimately her destiny as the first casualty of the duel.

Sensing weakness in the opposition (mostly due to them being half dead), Fat Tony and Blue Eyes Toon Dragon began their advance. What they found was no less than a one-man armoury.

For Caporal Blutch, seeing his ally fall had made him realise a vital truth: Sharing Weaponry was pointless now. Arming himself to the teeth he chose a fortified corner and prepared to fight for his life.

But, as they say, even the most well-armed person cannot overcome the power of teamwork, and after holding out for an astoundingly long time against attacks from both sides, the Carporal became the second casualty of the duel.

This left Fat Tony and Blue Eyes Toon Dragon with a predicament. They each knew that only one of them could walk away, that only one could win, but neither wanted to be the first to betray the other. With rehearsed courtesy and valour, the final assassins in the game came to an agreement:

Each would take a similar weapon and give the other time to retreat to the far end of the street. Then, with everything in balance, they would strike, Toon on Toon, allowing victory to go to the most able fighter…

In the grand scheme of things, the final battle was short. Fat Tony lay dead in a pool of blood (water) at Caporal Blutch's feet as he ascended above those mortal assassins to the glorious rank of M.A..

And then everyone went to the pub.

Your Duellists were:

Adrian del Ser as Caporal Blutch

Daniella (Dani) Cugini as Fat Tony

Ruby Tupling as Twitch

Featuring Andrew Browne M.A. as Blue Eyes Toon Dragon

***

Once again it is finished. Once again, a victor is found. Once again, the Blood Game is satisfied.

And now we wait for the end. In time this reality will be replaced by another, with another blood game and another victor.

It's a delicious irony, isn't it?

Oh, and whilst I have your attention, to the man who calls himself ‘Professor', and any who think themselves sane for following him, don't think that I don't know what you are doing. Honestly, I'm impressed with your progress. But know this - you may be able to stop this iteration of me and save your beloved Professor, but you will never stop the inevitable.

Good Luck