The Assassins' Guild - Week 6 News

I knew when I pulled that trigger I'd crossed the line.

Try to go work for one mob boss, when the last one I worked with turned up dead in his own torched factory? Sure. Maybe it didn't look so good. Maybe it wasn't such a smart move. I guess I could see why they mighta thought I was trouble. Mighta wanted me outta the way. But if I'd just walked out, then they mighta let me go.

Course, then I hadda go and hang around there for hours on end like I was asking for trouble. And then, when they tried to give me trouble, I killed one of their heavies. And I used some twisted toon-killing freakshow weapon to do it.

I guess they took that as an insult.

I laid low. Tried to stay outta trouble. I still had places to be, and every time, I thought it was gonna be the end. I thought they'da found me.

I was a marked man, and I knew it.

But with every hour, every day that passed, I dared to breathe a little easier. If they wanted me dead, then they oughta have found me by now. Surely. Surely I wouldn'ta made it this long if they really were after me. Things were coming together now. It wouldn't be long before everything came down. If I could keep it going until then, maybe skip town-

Everyone thinks they can always just run, don't they?

I guess it was inevitable, y'know?

Sure, I was worried. I knew I hadda watch my back. But I had other things on my mind too. I had the last edges of a case to piece together. I could see the whole shape of it now, just about. Every last horrifying twist of it. I just needed to check a couple details. Then I could pass it on to the Toon Town cops, let them handle this mess, get myself a protection detail, maybe. I'd done it, and now I just needed to let people know what I knew.

Sure, I looked around me when I left the building. Sure, I carried a gun. What fool doesn't?

But even if you ain't a fool, even if you're careful, that doesn't mean you're careful enough.

I didn't see anyone hanging around, least not anyone who seemed like they shouldn'ta been there. I let the Toon Campaign stop me, took their pamphlet to keep ‘em quiet, took my hand off my gun while I put the papers in my jacket pocket.

I was halfway up the drive when I heard footsteps, fast and out of place.

I hadn't seen anyone hanging around.

I hadn't looked.

I turned.

Reached for a gun.

Too late, too late, too late-

I was spinning from the impact force before I'd made it halfway drawn. My gun hand. My shoulder. My chest.

I think the last thing I heard was my own skull. That's when it all went red. That's when it all went black.

Ga Gnaa Gnaa Gaa Ga Gnnaann! Gan Gana Ga! Gnann Gnnn Gaan! Gnnn Gnan Gan Gnann Gaannaa!

Ga Gnaa Gnaa Gaa Ga Gnnaann! Gan Gana Ga! Gnann Gnnn Gaan! Gnnn Gnan Gan Gnann Gaannaa!

Gan Gana Ga! Gnann Gnnn Gaan! Gnnn Gnan Gan Gnann Gnnaann! Ga Gnaa Gnaa Gaa Ga Gaannaa!

Gnann Gnnn Gaan Gannnna Gaaan Ga! Gnaaa Ga Ga Gna! Gaaaa Gaa Gn! Gnaaa Gnann Gnaaaan!

Gnaana Gnaaa Gan Gna Gnna! Gnaaa Gan Gna Gnna Gnaana!

Gnann Gnnn Gaan Gannnna Gaaan Ga! Gnaaa Ga Ga Gna! Gaaa Gn Gana Gaan Gnana Gnan! Gnaaa Gnann Gnaaaan!

Gnaana Gnaaa Gan Gna Gnna Gnaana!

Gan! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan Gaa Gna Gnna! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gaa Gna Gnnaann! Gnann Gnnn Gaan! Gnana Gan Gana Ga Ganaa Ga Gaaa Gaaa! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan Gananan!

Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gaaa! Gaa Gaaa! Gann Gaaaa Gnann! Gnann Gnnn Gaan! Ganna Gan Gnann! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gan Gn Gn Ga Gna Gn Gaa Gnnn Gna! Gn Gnnn! Gnann Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gaaa Gaan Gana Gana Gnnn Gaan Gna Gnaa Gaa Gna Gnna Gaaa Gnnaann! Gnann Gnnn Gaan! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan Gananan!

Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan Gananan!

Boing, boing... boing.

th-

Dwamatic we-enactment (some awtistic wicence appwied, still better than you Bugs...)

[Umpire's Note - A more dramatic reenactment

And another

Vote Quimby]