The Assassins' Guild - Week 5 News

... stop referring to themselves in the bloody third person all the time. Hello everybody, Stitches here. Or, as we should say, the will that has been inhabiting Stitches since that late idiot professor opened the Tome of Assassins.

Oh, of course, we should mention. Professor Incompetent is Dead. We have to admit, he was useful for a spell; his Assassin-inator was the perfect distraction from the true nature of the blood game surrounding you.

Whilst he ranted and gloated, we steered from the shadows...

Seeing...

Watching...

Killing...

...but now his usefulness has reached its termination. There are too few and too bloodied left for you to think this game is anything but what it is. This is the inevitable Blood Game. The Order in the Chaos.

Realities shift. Faces change. But the game is ever present.

...but perhaps not.

There is always an Umpire. Always a Winner. And there is always blood.

The Veil grows thinner with every death; the next reality draws ever closer. So, for those of you who hope to survive until the end of things, We must ask:

Victor, are you still alive?

The man who knocks four times sat in his chair and pondered.

Then he wondered.

Then he walked.

Behind walls of pale stone and paler paint and were 2 brown doors.

He knocked four times.

Jean-Paul Carte did not open his brown door, though he stood behind it.

Fat Tony did not open his brown door, and stood unseen.

He will come again.

He will knock four times.

The mafia are a cultured people. Fat Tony wished to provide this to prompt a richer appreciation of the works of the (late) TheFourthKnock.

Discussion points for the illustrious 'artsy' Works of TheFourthKnock:

1.) What is the effect of TheFourthKnock's evocative imagery, such as 'pale stone and paler paint' and '2 brown doors'? Why do you think TheFourthKnock paid particular poetic attention to the fact that the doors were brown? Doors are often brown. Does the brownness of the doors symbolise the crushing ubiquity of violence in today's conflict-torn society? Would white doors have been preferable?

2.) TheFourthKnock's reports belong to a literary movement identified with the concept of 'artsiness', which seems to mainly consist of short lines, an ominous tone, and repetition, such as the arresting line 'He walked with wooden steps on wooden steps'. What other movements do you believe have influenced this craft? For instance, when he speaks of hearing 'the voice of death and the voice of god', could this be derived from the sublime experiences of the Romantics or the Holy Sonnets of Donne? Why would you not open the door if you actually heard the voices of God and Death? Presumably a door wouldn't stop them.

3.) TheFourthKnock confronts important themes in his work, such as the loss of friendship, mortality, and the colours that walls are. What is the significance of such subjects to contemporary life? Hey, has anyone seen Frankie the Squealer lately?

I, Mojo Jojo, the greatest supervillain of all, had just finalised my plans to destroy the Powerpuff girls and take over the world. Their destruction being the catalyst for my attempt at world domination I conscripted one of my minions post haste and transported myself to their place of residence.

Getting in was not a problem. The people on duty outside the abode were easily fooled by the disguise me and my minion had cooked up. Being duped without any idea; they let us in and we were able to start with our nefarious scheme.

The first unsuspecting target was Clarissa Moon. I commanded my minion to knock on the door asking for directions to a non-existent room. Being commanded by me, the minion did as told but through sheer luck for the target she did not respond. Commanded to knock again my minion did so but there was no change in the response from the antecedent time and finally I was forced to give up. Curses!

The second target was The Girl with the Griffin Tattoo. This time there was audible noise emanating from the room of the target and so my minion tried a different strategy, this time asking whether a bottle 'found' outside the room belonged to the hopefully soon to be deceased victim. After an undefined period of waiting, the length of which is uncertain there was a response from inside, saying in very few words 'No'. My minion having ran out of responses of their own carefully withdrew from the door, taking great caution to not alert the entity inside of what had just happened. Unfortunately we could not knock again without losing the element of surprise, without which our chances of success were dramatically reduced. This being the case we decided that the day of destruction for the victim would be another. Curses!

The final target on our list was Bob the Destroyer. Upon walking in the halls of the dwelling, we had discovered a room ballot was taking place. This gave me the idea to ask our last target to open up the door of her room so we could take a look around for the ballot. Unfortunately luck had abandoned us and it was just so that the room of the target had a big sign saying 'Not in the ballot next year'. Curses! Undeterred my minion was again commanded to knock but this time with no plausible excuse. Our excuse not being believable, or the person not being in, meant that we got no response again. Hence decided that our mission was futile and not likely to bear any fruit. The last of prospects for success meant that I took the decision to return to my lair for future planning. Curses!

I, Mojo Jojo, will not be stopped by a bunch of locked doors. These not being a deterrent for me I shall endeavour to return, and when I do all my enemies will fall at my feet as I declare myself as the ruler of the world!

I passed a college which I was hoping would contain resident or hunting assassins today, but there was no sign of life anywhere. I'm beginning to wonder if everyone in college has actually died...

Turned up outside Babriel Worp's room this morning to find a familiar face: Paranoid Hyperboloid. Assured him that "I come in peace" -- at least, as far as he was concerned.

We eagerly awaited our prey: guns at the ready, poison bullets loaded. We must've waited a good half hour -- quietly discussing tactics, talking numbers (but not at length).

Eventually the target showed his face, but only to whip his head out the door in both directions; he then began aggressively throwing knives towards us, which we successfully dodged. He wasn't going down without a fight. But he was still going down.

Several enemy knives and a few missed bullets later, he dispatched a giant killer whale as a last-ditch attempt. The whale did a mighty SPLASH in our direction... But nothing happened!

In the end, Paranoid Hyperboloid took charge, running heroically in front of Babriel Worp's door and shooting him in the guts.

I suppose sometimes, it's worth trusting the police. :)

It's about damn time I found a new line of business.

I'd been carrying on with business as usual, taking care of research, when I saw a buddy of mine waiting for me, talking to some dame I didn't think I knew. I went over to say good morning, pass the time of day, all that jazz.

That lasted all of a moment before she pulled out some crazy toon weapon and shot me in the arm.

I ran. Call me a coward, but you ask me, coward's still better than dead. I made it behind a door, tried to take cover, tried to draw a piece of my own with the one good arm I still had.

Damn.

All the care I took, all the precautions. And the damn thing wasn't primed. This dame was still coming towards me, and I figured it wasn't gonna be long before she hit something I wasn't gonna be able to get mended. Maybe I shoulda stayed, talked, figured out what her problem was. But I'd already seen enough people turn up dead after following the leads I'd been following. And she didn't exactly seem like she'd let me take the time to explain myself.

I ran.

Pusheen is free! Free like Stitches! =^_^=

I guess in the end I was just ready to throw the towel in.

Near enough everybody I'd worked with on this case was dead, or getting that way. Witnesses kept disappearing, and now the same thing was gonna happen to me.

I figured I could use a little protection.

The Gentleman had been one of the real big players, but he was never the only mobster in town. I knew where one of the other big fish lived, and in the end, I guessed it wasn't gonna hurt all that much to try and get his help. Sure, maybe it'd just give me a day or two longer before I got a bullet in the back. But if I was one of his guys, then at least no-one outside of his gang would wanna make trouble by crossing me. And if he wanted me dead himself – well, at least I only had to worry about that one threat.

Course, first I had to speak to the fella.

And that was the rub. First it took me damn near all night to even find the right place – I guess he wasn't taking chances with having the cops turn over his headquarters. I knew more or less where the building was, and I'd seen how a few of the places seemed to connect through, so I figured I could just stroll in the first door I found open and call it good.

I don't know how long I was, just pacing until one of the doors opened. I darted in – lucky break, right? – and set about finding the connection through to the main offices.

Only, there didn't seem to be one. I'd goofed. I quit that place pretty quick, moved over to another building. No connections here, neither. Took long enough, but eventually I saw my chance, and slipped into the building where the main man would be waiting.

Then I just had the issue of persuading him to see me, and not getting myself dumped in the river in the process. I doubted he'd take too kindly to a guy who'd been running with his rivals, even if those rivals were all dead now. So I had to make it clear enough I wasn't here for trouble. I'd brought my peace offerings; I just had to make ‘em.

I spoke to his secretary, passed on my regards. Then I stood out there in the corridor. Waiting. Waiting to be called in, waiting for an answer, waiting to see just how much of a mistake all this had been. This wasn't how I'd wanted to die. But then, I'd seen an awful lotta people die lately. I doubt any of them exactly planned to go the way they went.

In the end, there was nothing. An empty desk, an empty chair. Silence on the end of the line. I guessed I could always go back, try again, if my nerve didn't fail me. It was a drag, after waiting so long. But I can't say I wasn't relieved to still be breathing once I stepped out into the chill of the night.

I've been finding it much harder to find assassins this week so far. People just don't seem to be where they're supposed to anymore, and that applies as much to me as the people I'm trying to kill.

Night Angel waited in the frozen shadows for his target to approach. He knew this was do or die, and frankly, he was ok with either. Not that he was going down without a fight.

A cold wind shuddered his bones. Wabbit had better hurry up, he thought, else this cold would kill him before they even got the chance.

He waited. It was cold.

He waited more. Still Cold.

As a flake of snow touched his cheek he decided. Both Wabbit and Night Angel would die another day

Took me a while, but eventually, I managed to crack the paper I found on the Revue toon's body. It was just names and places – as if I hadn't seen enough of those already – but after looking at it a little longer, I started seeing the patterns. Matching up what I knew about people to various news stories, to other leads, to cold cases. This was bigger than I ever thought, even now. And it went back a whole lot longer, too.

Some of these people – people, toons, there was a fine mix of ‘em – were dangerous. That, I knew damn well. But it looked to me like some of ‘em just wanted a quiet life. Names that didn't crop up next to trouble. Ordinary folks who wound up on the wrong side of whatever conspiracy this was. I figured it couldn't do me too much trouble to speak to a few of them, so I packed my briefcase, and I set off to make a few house calls.

I wasn't expecting trouble, but I still took a piece with me. Just in case. I'll say it again: a guy doesn't watch his own back, doesn't take the necessary precautions, he deserves whatever trouble's headed his way.

It took an awful long walk and every last bit of charm I had to make it into the first guy's building, but I made it, just about. Figured he couldn'ta been too worried about whatever was happening, since he'd left his door wide open, practically. I coulda waited outside, but I didn't fancy the neighbourhood much. I let myself in, pulled up a chair, set about waiting.

Damn, but time goes slow when you've nothing better. Half an hour. An hour. No sign of any life. Just a tap dripping somewhere. Church bells. Now and then, a telephone ringing. Front door kept opening and closing, footsteps on the stairs, but never anyone coming to the door. I waited. I waited. I waited some more.

You wouldn't think a guy could get distracted just sat watching a shadow on a wall, but when he did pitch up, he almost got me by surprise. I hadn't figured anyone would be so damn quiet walking up to his own door, y'know?

That was one mistake. The other one was thinking that leaving the door unlocked meant he wasn't worried.

It was all I could do to get to my feet before he came round the corner, aiming a piece into the shadow I was hiding in. Instinct takes over, y'know? And I didn't wanna die. I was firing back before I knew what was happening, and then he was staggering back against the door, dropping his weapon, folding like a house of cards. Me, I had a line seared clean over the back of my hand where I'd been holding my own piece. But I was still alive.

Another one dead. Musta been real scared of something. He had an address book, tickets, receipts, so I took ‘em. Wasn't like he'd be needing them, and maybe they'd help me figure out where he'd tied into this web, what was happening. There was a bigger picture here, and I could almost see it. I was so damn close.

I had been up late in the night making dango. It's something delicious and Japanese, you should look it up if you don't know what it is, as it is so far removed from cookies that, if there is a way for me not to make sentient, carnivorous food, it would be this.

As a result, I was a bit too late to try and offer my dango to people before lectures, so I tried to catch my intended recipient afterwards. But despite it being more than ten minutes early, there was no sign of anyone, and the labels in the lecture theatres are not in any way similar to the online timetable! At this point the deceased Babriel Worp entered a room, and I knew this must be the correct one, so I decided to go to the library to kill an hour. It has a science fiction section!

I returned to the lecture theatre exit a bit before lectures should be leaving, and sure enough people started to leave. My dango was behind my back and I looked through the huge sea of faces for my intended recipient. At this point, someone else walked past. It was Jean-Paul Carte. He wasn't my first choice recipient, but he was a valid one nonetheless, so I approached him and offered him the dango. This went even more disastrously than last time. The dango pieces embedded themselves into his back and tore him apart from the inside! My dango is far too deadly to continue existing it seems, so I binned the rest of the sticks. Toon Town has enough on its plate with my rampant carnivorous cookies that escaped last time after all, that it doesn't need these deadly dango floating around.

Perhaps it's time to accept that I am unable to build myself a friend, and must rely on making friends the same way normal toons do. The horror!

Gaa! Gaaa Gn Gana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Ga Gnaa! Gaa Gna Gn Gnnn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gnaa Ga Ganna Gan Gana Gn Gnn Ga Gna Gn! Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gaaa! Gaana Gaa Gna Ga! Gnaaa Gaa Gn Gn Ga Gana! Gnn Gnnn Gana Gna Gaa Gna Gnna Gnnaann! Gaaaa Gan Gaaan Gaa Gna Gnna! Gnaaa Ga Ga Gna! Gann Gnnn Gana Gnan Gaa Gna Gnna! Gaa Gna! Gnn Gnann! Gana Gnnn Gnnn Gnn! Gaana Gnnn Gana! Gan! Gaaa Ganna Gan Gana Ga! Gaaaa Gan Ganaa Gaana! Gaaaa Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gnnn Gana! Gaaa Gnnn Gnnaann! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gnana Gaaaa Gan Gna Gnana Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn! Gaaa Ga Ga! Gan Gna! Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gaa Gna! Gaa! Gaaaa Gan Gnaa! Gnaaa Ga Ga Gna! Ga Gna Gnaa Ga Gan Gaaan Gnnn Gaan Gana Gaa Gna Gnna! Gn Gnnn! Gnan Gaa Ganaa Ganaa! Gaana Gnnn Gana! Gaaa Gnnn Gnn Ga! Gn Gaa Gnn Ga Gnnaann! Gaaa Gn Gana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Gaa Gna Gnna! Gnaaa Gnann Gananan! Gaa! Gan Ganna Ganna Gana Gnnn Gan Gnana Gaaaa Ga Gnaa Gnanana! Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gan Gann! Gnn Ga! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaaa Gan Gaaa Gn Ga Gna Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn Gann Gan Gana Gnaa! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gaa Gnaa Ga Gnaaaan Gnna Gan Gn Ga Gananan! Gaa! Gaana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Gnnn Gann Ga Gnaa Gnanana! Gaaaa Ga! Gnaa Gana Ga Gann! Gan! Gnaa Gaa Gaaa Gana Gaan Ganna Gn Gnnn Gana Gananan! Gaa! Gaana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Gnnn Gann Ga Gnaa! Gaaa Gaan Gaa Gn Gnanana! Gaaaa Ga! Ganaa Ga Gnna Gnna Ga Gnaa! Gaa Gn! Gnnn Gaaan Ga Gana! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Ganna Gaa Gnana Gnan Ga Gn! Ganaa Gaa Gna Ga! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaan Gan Gna Gaa Gaaa Gaaaa Ga Gnaa! Gnnn Gna Gn Gnnn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaana Ga Gna Gaaa Gananan! Gaa! Gan Gnana Gnana Ga Ganna Gn Ga Gnaa! Gan! Ganaa Ga Gan Gaana Ganaa Ga Gn! Gaana Gana Gnnn Gnn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Ganna Gaa Gnana Gnan Ga Gn Ga Gana Gaaa! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gana Ga Gn Gaan Gana Gna Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn! Gnn Gnann! Ganaa Ga Gnana Gn Gaan Gana Ga Gananan!

It should have been a safe visit to Kwik-E-Mart. He was taking every precaution. But nothing can protect you when you encounter another assassin by sheer bad luck.

I encountered Night Angel leaving the Kwik-E-Mart while I was heading in the other direction. I pulled a knife and stabbed him in the side.

Gann Gaa Gaaa Gaaaa Gaa Gna Gnna! Gn Gnnn! Gnn Gan Gnan Ga! Gan! Ganaa Gaa Gn Gn Ganaa Ga! Gnn Gnnn Gana Ga! Gaa Gnn Ganna Gan Gnana Gn! Gnnn Gna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gnna Gan Gnn Ga! Gan Gaaa! Gaa Gn! Gaaa Gn Gan Gna Gnaa Gaaa Gnnaann! Gaa! Gaaa Gn Gana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Ga Gnaa! Gnnn Gna! Gnaa Gnnn Gann Gna! Gn Gnnn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaaa Gnnn Gnn Ga! Gnnn Gaana! Gnnn Gna Ga! Gnnn Gaana! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaana Gana Gnnn Gna Gn Gana Gaan Gna Gna Ga Gana Gaaa Gananan! Gan Gaana Gn Ga Gana! Gan! Gnaaa Gana Gaa Ga Gaana! Gnn Gaa Gaaa Gan Gnaa Gaaan Ga Gna Gn Gaan Gana Ga! Gann Gan Gna Gnaa Ga Gana Gaa Gna Gnna! Gaa Gna Gn Gnnn! Gan! Gnaaa Ganaa Gnnn Gnana Gnan! Gnnn Gna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gann Gana Gnnn Gna Gnna! Gaaa Gaa Gnaa Ga! Gnnn Gaana! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gn Gana Ga Ga Gn! Ga Gna Gn Gaa Gana Ga Ganaa Gnann Gnnaann! Gaa! Gnaaa Gana Gnnn Gan Gnana Gaaaa Ga Gnaa! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gnnn Gaa Gnaaaan Gnaa Gaa Gaaa Gan Gna Gn! Gaaa Ga Gnana Gaan Gana Ga! Ganna Ga Gana Gaa Gnn Ga Gn Ga Gana! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gnn Gan Gnaa Ga! Gnn Gnann! Gann Gan Gnann! Gaa Gna Gn Gnnn! Gnn Gnann! Gn Gan Gana Gnna Ga Gn Gannnna Gaaa! Gan Gnana Gnana Gnnn Gnn Gnn Gnnn Gnaa Gan Gn Gaa Gnnn Gna! Gnaaa Ganaa Gnnn Gnana Gnan Gananan! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gan Gnana Gn Gaan Gan Ganaa! Gnaaa Ga Gnaa Gana Gnnn Gnnn Gnn! Gnaa Gnnn Gnnn Gana! Gann Gan Gaaa! Ganaa Gnnn Gnana Gnan Ga Gnaa! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaa Gaa Ganaa Ga Gna Gn Gnnaann! Gaaa Gnnn! Gaa! Gaaa Ga Gn Gn Ganaa Ga Gnaa! Gnn Gnann Gaaa Ga Ganaa Gaana! Gnnn Gna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gn Gan Gaa Gana Gaaa! Gn Gnnn! Gann Gan Gaa Gn Gnnaann! Ga Gnaan Ganna Ga Gnana Gn Gaa Gna Gnna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gn Gan Gana Gnna Ga Gn! Gn Gnnn! Gana Ga Gn Gaan Gana Gna! Gaaa Gnnn Gnnn Gna! Gaana Gana Gnnn Gnn! Gan! Gaaa Ganna Gnnn Gana Gn Gaa Gna Gnna! Ga Gaaan Ga Gna Gn Gananan! Gnn Gaa Gna Gaan Gn Ga Gaaa! Gnana Gana Gan Gann Ganaa Ga Gnaa! Gnaaa Gnann Gananan! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gna Ga Gaa Gnna Gaaaa Gnaaa Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gann Gaaaa Gnnn Gaaa Ga! Gnaa Gnnn Gnnn Gana! Gaa! Gann Gan Gaaa! Ganna Ga Gana Gnana Gaaaa Ga Gnaa! Gnaaa Ga Gaaa Gaa Gnaa Ga! Gnana Gnnn Gaan Gnna Gaaaa Ga Gnaa! Ganaa Gnnn Gaan Gnaa Ganaa Gnann Gananan! Gaa! Gnana Gnnn Gna Gnana Ganaa Gaan Gnaa Ga Gnaa! Ga Gaaan Ga Gna Gn Gaan Gan Ganaa Ganaa Gnann! Gn Gaaaa Gan Gn! Gnn Gnann! Gn Gan Gana Gnna Ga Gn! Gann Gnnn Gaan Ganaa Gnaa! Gna Gnnn Gn! Gnaaa Ga! Gana Ga Gn Gaan Gana Gna Gaa Gna Gnna! Gan Gna Gnann! Gn Gaa Gnn Ga! Gaaa Gnnn Gnnn Gna Gnnaann! Gan Ganaa Gan Gaaa Gnnaann! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gn Gaaaa Gan Gn! Gaa! Gaaaa Gan Gnaa! Gnaaa Ga Gn Gn Ga Gana! Gnaa Gaa Gana Ga Gnana Gn! Gnn Gnann! Gn Gaa Gnn Ga! Gan Gna Gnaa! Ga Gna Ga Gana Gnna Gnann! Gn Gnnn Gann Gan Gana Gnaa Gaaa! Gaaa Gaan Gnana Gaaaa! Gn Gan Gaaa Gnan Gaaa! Gan Gaaa! Ganna Gana Gnnn Gnana Gaan Gana Gaa Gna Gnna! Gaana Gnnn Gnnn Gnaa! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gnn Ga Gnaa Gaa Gnana Gan Gn Gaa Gnnn Gna Gnnaann! Gnnn Gana! Gaana Gaan Ganaa Gaana Gaa Ganaa Ganaa Gaa Gna Gnna! Gan Gnana Gan Gnaa Ga Gnn Gaa Gnana! Gana Ga Gaaa Ganna Gnnn Gna Gaaa Gaa Gnaaa Gaa Ganaa Gaa Gn Gaa Ga Gaaa Gananan! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaaa Gnnn Gana Gana Gnnn Gana Gananan! Gaa! Gaaa Gn Gana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Ga Gnaa! Gnnn Gna! Gnnn Gaan Gn! Gan Gnna Gan Gaa Gna Gnnaann! Gan Gnaa Gnn Gaa Gana Gaa Gna Gnna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gan Ganna Ganna Ga Gan Gana Gan Gna Gnana Ga! Gnnn Gaana! Gnannan Gana Ga Gnaa Gan Gnana Gn Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gnana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Ga Gnna Ga! Gaa Gna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gna Gnnn Gann Gananan! Gnaaa Gnann! Gaaa Gnnn Gnn Ga! Gaaaa Gan Ganna Ganna Gnann! Gnana Gnnn Gaa Gna Gnana Gaa Gnaa Ga Gna Gnana Ga Gnnaann! Gan Gaaa! Gaa! Gann Gan Gaaa! Ganaa Ga Gan Gaaan Gaa Gna Gnna Gnnaann! Gaa! Gaaaa Gan Ganna Ganna Ga Gna Ga Gnaa! Gan Gnana Gana Gnnn Gaaa Gaaa! Gan! Gaana Gana Gaa Ga Gna Gnaa! Gaa! Gaaaa Gan Gnaa Gna Gannnna Gn! Gaaa Ga Ga Gna! Gaa Gna! Gnnan Gaan Gaa Gn Ga! Gaaa Gnnn Gnn Ga! Gn Gaa Gnn Ga! Gaannan! Gan! Gnana Gaa Gaaan Gaa Ganaa Gaa Gan Gna! Gaana Gana Gaa Ga Gna Gnaa Gnnaann! Gaa! Gnn Gaa Gnna Gaaaa Gn! Gan Gnaa Gnaa Gnnaann! Gaana Gan Gana! Gn Gnnn Gnnn! Gaaa Ga Gna Gaaa Gaa Gnaaa Ganaa Ga! Gn Gnnn! Gnna Ga Gn! Gnn Gaa Gnaan Ga Gnaa! Gaan Ganna! Gaa Gna! Gan Ganaa Ganaa! Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gaaa! Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gaa Gna Gan Gn Gnnn Gana Gaa Gan Ganaa! Gna Gnnn Gna Gaaa Ga Gna Gaaa Ga! Gaannan! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaaa Gan Gnaa! Gan! Gnaaa Gana Gaa Ga Gaana! Gnaaa Gaan Gn! Ganna Ganaa Ga Gan Gaaa Gan Gna Gn! Gnana Gnnn Gna Gaaan Ga Gana Gaaa Gan Gn Gaa Gnnn Gna Gananan! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gnaa Ga Ganaa Gaa Gnna Gaaaa Gn! Gnnn Gaana! Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gaaa! Ga Gna Gnana Gnnn Gaan Gna Gn Ga Gana! Gaaa Gnnn Gnnn Gna! Gaana Gan Gnaa Ga Gnaa Gnnaann! Gaaaa Gnnn Gann Ga Gaaan Ga Gana Gnnaann! Gan Gaaa! Gaa! Gnaaa Ga Gnna Gan Gna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gan Gana Gnaa Gaan Gnnn Gaan Gaaa! Gn Gana Ga Gnan! Gaana Gana Gnnn Gnn! Gnannan Gana Ga Gnaa Gan Gnana Gn Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gn Gnnn! Gnannan Gana Ga Gnaa Gan Gnana Gn Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gaa Gna! Gaaa Gaan Gnaaa Gnaaaan Gnnaa Ga Gana Gnnn! Gn Ga Gnn Ganna Ga Gana Gan Gn Gaan Gana Ga Gaaa Gananan! Gn Gaaaa Ga Gana Ga! Gaa Gaaa! Gan Gnaaa Gaaa Gnnn Ganaa Gaan Gn Ga Ganaa Gnann! Gna Gnnn! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gana Ga Gan Gaaa Gnnn Gna! Gaa Gna! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gn Gaaaa Gan Gn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gann Ga Gan Gn Gaaaa Ga Gana! Gaaaa Gan Gaaa! Gan Gna Gnann! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gnaaa Gaan Gaaa Gaa Gna Ga Gaaa Gaaa! Gnaaa Ga Gaa Gna Gnna! Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gaaa! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gnana Gnnn Ganaa Gnaa! Gann Gaaaa Ga Gna! Gaa Gn! Gaa Gaaa! Gan Ganaa Ganaa! Gnaaa Gaan Gn! Gnannan Gnana Ga Gna Gaaa Gnnn Gana Ga Gnaa Gnannan! Gnn Gan Gana Gnana Gaaaa Gananan! Gnaaa Gaan Gn! Gaa! Gnaa Gaa Gnna Gana Ga Gaaa Gaaa Gananan! Gan! Gaaa Gn Ga Gan Gnaa Gnann! Gaaa Gn Gana Ga Gan Gnn! Gnnn Gaana! Ganna Gana Gnnn Gaana Gan Gna Gaa Gn Gnann! Gaaa Gaan Gaaa Gn Gan Gaa Gna Ga Gnaa! Gnn Ga! Gaan Gna Gn Gaa Ganaa! Gaa! Gann Gan Gaaa! Gaaa Gan Gaana Ga Ganaa Gnann! Gaa Gna Gaaa Gaa Gnaa Ga! Gan! Gann Gan Gana Gnn! Gana Gnnn Gnnn Gnn! Gann Gaa Gn Gaaaa! Gan! Ganaa Gnnn Gnana Gnan Gaa Gna Gnna! Gnaa Gnnn Gnnn Gana Gnnaann! Gann Gaaaa Ga Gana Ga Gaan Ganna Gnnn Gna! Gaa! Gnana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Gan Ganna Gaaa Ga Gnaa! Gnnn Gna! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gnana Gaaaa Gan Gaa Gaaa Ga! Ganaa Gnnn Gna Gnna Gaan Ga! Gn Gnnn! Ganna Ganaa Gan Gna! Gnn Gnann! Gna Ga Gnaan Gn! Gnn Gnnn Gaaan Ga Gananan!

Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gnaa Ga Ganna Gan Gana Gn Gnn Ga Gna Gn! Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gaaa! Gaana Gaa Gna Ga! Gnaaa Gaa Gn Gn Ga Gana! Gnn Gnnn Gana Gna Gaa Gna Gnna Gnnaann! Gaaaa Gan Gaaan Gaa Gna Gnna! Gnaaa Ga Ga Gna! Gann Gnnn Gana Gnan Gaa Gna Gnna! Gaa Gna! Gnn Gnann! Gana Gnnn Gnnn Gnn! Gaana Gnnn Gana! Gan! Gaaa Ganna Gan Gana Ga! Gaaaa Gan Ganaa Gaana! Gaaaa Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gnnn Gana! Gaaa Gnnn Gnnaann! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gnana Gaaaa Gan Gna Gnana Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn! Gaaa Ga Ga! Gan Gna! Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gaa Gna! Gaa! Gaaaa Gan Gnaa! Gnaaa Ga Ga Gna! Ga Gna Gnaa Ga Gan Gaaan Gnnn Gaan Gana Gaa Gna Gnna! Gn Gnnn! Gnan Gaa Ganaa Ganaa! Gaana Gnnn Gana! Gaaa Gnnn Gnn Ga! Gn Gaa Gnn Ga Gnnaann! Gaaa Gn Gana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Gaa Gna Gnna! Gnaaa Gnann Gananan! Gaa! Gan Ganna Ganna Gana Gnnn Gan Gnana Gaaaa Ga Gnaa Gnanana! Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gan Gann! Gaa! Gaaa Gn Gana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Ga Gnaa! Gaa Gna Gn Gnnn! Gnn Ga! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaaa Gan Gaaa Gn Ga Gna Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn Gann Gan Gana Gnaa! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gaa Gnaa Ga Gnaaaan Gnna Gan Gn Ga Gananan! Gaa! Gaana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Gnnn Gann Ga Gnaa Gnanana! Gaaaa Ga! Gnaa Gana Ga Gann! Gan! Gnaa Gaa Gaaa Gana Gaan Ganna Gn Gnnn Gana Gananan! Gaa! Gaana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Gnnn Gann Ga Gnaa! Gaaa Gaan Gaa Gn Gnanana! Gaaaa Ga! Ganaa Ga Gnna Gnna Ga Gnaa! Gaa Gn! Gnnn Gaaan Ga Gana! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Ganna Gaa Gnana Gnan Ga Gn! Ganaa Gaa Gna Ga! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaan Gan Gna Gaa Gaaa Gaaaa Ga Gnaa! Gnnn Gna Gn Gnnn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gaana Ga Gna Gaaa Gananan! Gaa! Gan Gnana Gnana Ga Ganna Gn Ga Gnaa! Gan! Ganaa Ga Gan Gaana Ganaa Ga Gn! Gaana Gana Gnnn Gnn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Ganna Gaa Gnana Gnan Ga Gn Ga Gana Gaaa! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gana Ga Gn Gaan Gana Gna Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn! Gnn Gnann! Ganaa Ga Gnana Gn Gaan Gana Ga Gananan! Gan Ganna Ganna Gana Gnnn Gan Gnana Gaaaa Ga Gnaa Gnanana! Gaaaa Ga! Gaaa Gan Gann! Gaa! Gaaa Gn Gana Gnnn Ganaa Ganaa Ga Gnaa! Gaa Gna Gn Gnnn! Gnn Ga! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaaa Gan Gaaa Gn Ga Gna Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn Gann Gan Gana Gnaa! Gn Gaaaa Ga!

Gn

Gaa! Gaaaa Gan Ganna Ganna Ga Gna Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn! Gnaaa Ga! Gaaa Ganna Ga Gan Gnan Gaa Gna Gnna! Gann Gaa Gn Gaaaa! Gan! Gaana Gana Gaa Ga Gna Gnaa! Ga Gan Gana Ganaa Gaa Ga Gana! Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gaaa! Gaana Gaa Gna Ga! Gnaa Gan Gnann Gnnaann! Gann Gaaaa Ga Gna! Gaa Gn! Ga Gnn Ga Gana Gnna Ga Gnaa! Gn Gaaaa Gan Gn! Gn Gaaaa Ga Gnann! Gann Ga Gana Ga! Gna Gnnn Gn! Gan! Ganaa Gaa Gn Gn Ganaa Ga! Gnana Gnnn Gna Gnana Ga Gana Gna Ga Gnaa! Gan Gnaaa Gnnn Gaan Gn! Gn Gaaaa Ga! Gnaa Gaa Gaaa Gn Gaa Gna Gnana Gn! Ganaa Gan Gnana Gnan! Gnnn Gaana! Gnn Gaan Gana Gnaa Ga Gana! Gaa Gna! Gn Gaaaa Ga Gaa Gana! Ganaa Gaa Gaana Ga! Gnnn Gaana! Ganaa Gan Gn Ga Gananan! Ga Gaaan Ga Gana! Gnana Gaaaa Gan Gana Gaa Gn Gan Gnaaa Ganaa Ga Gnnaann! Gaa! Gnnn Gaana Gaana Ga Gana Ga Gnaa! Gn Gnnn! Gan Gaaa Gaaa Gaa Gaaa Gn! Gn Gaaaa Ga Gnn! Gaa Gna! Ganna Gan Gnann Gaa Gna Gnna! Gan! Gaaan Gaa Gaaa Gaa Gn! Gn Gnnn! Gan! Gnana Ga Gana Gn Gan Gaa Gna! Ganaa Gaa Gnana Gaa Gn! Gaa Gna Gnaa Gaa Gaaan Gaa Gnaa Gaan Gan Ganaa Gnnaann! Gann Gaaaa Gnnn! Gann Gnnn Gaan Ganaa Gnaa! Ganna Gnnn Gaaa Ga! Gna Gnnn! Ganna Gana Gnnn Gnaaa Ganaa Ga Gnn Gnnaann! Gaaa Gaan Gana Ga Ganaa Gnann Gnnaann! Gnaaa Ga Gaa Gna Gnna! Gaa Gna! Gan! Gaaan Ga Gana Gnann! Gn Gana Gan Ganna Ganna Gan Gnaaa Ganaa Ga! Ganaa Gnnn Gnana Gan Gn Gaa Gnnn Gna Gananan! Gan Ganaa Gan Gaaa Gnanana! Gaaa Gan Gaa Gnaa! Gaa Gna Gnaa Gaa Gaaan Gaa Gnaa Gaan Gan Ganaa! Gann Gan Gaaa! Gana Gan Gn Gaaaa Ga Gana! Gnnn Gaaan Ga Gana Gnaaaan Gnana Gan Gaan Gn Gaa Gnnn Gaan Gaaa Gnnaann! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gaaaa Gan Gnaa! Gna Gnnn! Gaa Gaaa Gaaa Gaan Ga! Gann Gaa Gn Gaaaa! Gaaa Gaa Gnn Ganna Ganaa Gnann! Gnnn Gaan Gn Gann Gan Gaa Gn Gaa Gna Gnna! Gaan Gaaa Gananan! Gan Gaana Gn Ga Gana! Gan Gna! Gaaaa Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gnnn Gaana! Gnana Gnnn Gaaan Ga Gana Gaa Gna Gnna! Ga Gnaan Gaa Gn Gaaa Gnnaann! Gan Gna Gnaa! Gann Gaa Gn Gaaaa! Ganna Ganaa Gan Gnana Ga Gaaa! Gnnn Gaana! Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gnnn Gann Gna! Gn Gnnn! Gnaaa Ga Gnnaann! Gann Ga! Gann Ga Gna Gn! Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gaaa Ga Ganna Gan Gana Gan Gn Ga! Gann Gan Gnann Gaaa Gnnaann! Gan Gna Gnaa! Ganaa Ga Gaana Gn! Gnnn Gaan Gana! Gn Gan Gana Gnna Ga Gn! Gnaaa Gana Ga Gan Gn Gaaaa Gaa Gna Gnna! Gaaa Gn Gaa Ganaa Ganaa Gananan!

Following news of the demise of someone close to my lodgings. I planned two attempts on someone in [redacted] college barracks for Friday. The first and shorter of these took place in the morning, before my usual departure to the cavalry's training camp. Of course, given my recent luck, the sound of my horse slowly trotting towards the target must have given me away, apparently the snow doesn't muffle anything after all.
I then returned in the evening, hoping to use the cover of the dark this time. I arrived at the barracks unnoticed and I slowly approached the room. The rest was just pitiful: the standard locked door and no response?? Since when do Union Army soldiers have such terrible manners...refusing to open to a friendly corporal.

May God save the Union (and help me please)

So after I'd strung together all the new details, I knew what I hadda do. Whatever was about to go down, it was going down in a week, two weeks, tops. And from the looks of that web, it'd be taking damn near half of Toon Town with it. The more I looked, the more it seemed lie I was one of the suckers caught up in all this mess, and I couldn't tell if that was from me sticking my nose into the damn thing, or if I'd been part of it all from the beginning. I still didn't know who'd gotten me onto this case in the first place, not really.

So I was gonna need some backup. Some protection, some insurance, some way of keeping my head outta the water when it all came down. I needed some people on my side. So I went back. Back to the mob. Principles be damned, I needed their help.

Again, I took my precautions. Again, I brought a weapon. But this time… I don't know. I don't know why it seemed like a smart move. I was scared, and I was running blind, and I knew that what I was going in for was big and it was still dangerous. Maybe not as dangerous as whatever shadow game was playing out all over town, but still dangerous enough to get you dead in a river.

So yeah. I did it. I took the Dip gun with me.

That's the thing about hindsight; it's damn near perfect. And it'll drive you mad, thinking what you coulda done to change how things panned out.

Found my way in easier this time, so I set up waiting. Figured the boss'd want to see me, sooner or later. Even if he wasn't exactly thrilled to see me, I'd at least be enough trouble to be worth his attention, this time.

I bided my time. Music played soft on a record somewhere. Doors opened and closed. People passed by, but most of ‘em didn't speak. No-one wants to speak to the guy waiting to speak to the boss. Trouble catches in the mob like fire in a tenement.

Still, even as the hours went by, I was confident. I figured I had enough information to be worth something. He might've had a lotta people on his side, but still, there were things I knew that nobody else'd talk about. And that made me powerful.

Course, it also made me dangerous.

I'd been there two, three hours, when the outside door opened. I was expecting whoever it was to just walk on in – why wouldn't they? Everybody else did – but there was nothing.

I could hear them, though. Quiet, just behind the door of the lobby. People try to stand silent, but there's always something'll give you away. The shift of a coat. The creak of a floorboard. The panic on the edge of your breath.

The click of a barrel.

That was when I realised I was gonna die here tonight.

Of all the nights. Of all the God-damn nights I had to choose.

How should I have known? Why would I expect anyone to be fool enough to go visiting the boss with a loaded gun?

But they had. And now I was caught right in the middle of it all.

The way I saw it, there was no way out of this one for me. They'd go after the boss, and whether they got him or not, they'd kill me. Because I'd be a witness, I'd see who they were, and I'd be able to tell somebody who it was who'd made an enemy of the mob.

Or else they'd go in to the boss, and get blown away themself. And then he'd find me hidden out here, waiting, and armed. And it didn't take a genius to know that that wouldn't look good for me.

I was caught in the middle. No locked door to hide behind like the boss. No exit at my back like the new guy. No way out. No way to run. No way to hide.

No hope.

I didn't wanna die.

It ain't like I never seen life and death before. But in my line of business, it's all fast. Turn on a moment. Fire a gun. Three seconds where you might die, before you pull the trigger and they don't. You burn through on adrenaline, and then you drink yourself to sleep after and you forget what death feels like when it's breathing down the back of your collar.

This wasn't like that. Slow. Inevitable. Nothing to do. If I tried to turn towards one of ‘em, I'd be leaving my back open to the other guy, so I couldn't make a move myself. I just hadda wait. Wait until they made their plays. Wait until the firing started, and it all went to hell for real.

I tried to make myself move. There was one way, one way I might be able to get through this. If I could get past the shooter in the lobby, then maybe I'd be able to run. I could get out and run and never look back. I knew, though, I wouldn't be getting away free. I'd have to fight past the other guy.

If I didn't wanna die tonight, I'd have to kill instead.

That made it harder. So much harder. If I thought I'd be able to just run – even if I would be in danger – then maybe I coulda done it. But knowing that walking out there, I'd be walking out to kill?

God, I was tired of seeing people dead. I didn't want this. I wasn't a gangster, wasn't a hitman. I was just a detective.

I was supposed to help people.

I waited, praying they'd make their move. Then maybe it wouldn't be my fault. If I had to fight for my own life, so be it. Least then I wouldn't be choosing to end someone else's.

Then the quiet noises that told me they were still there picked up. A shuffle, a whisk, a creak of hinges. A click of the latch. Then silence, empty and still.

I waited. There was no sound of breathing, no whisper of fabric, no nothing. I braced myself, gun ready. Looked round the corner.

Nothing.

Had they lost their nerve? Gone for backup? Realised they weren't the only one here, and run just like I'd wanted to?

I pulled myself together, tried to figure what to do. So it wasn't safe here. But whoever'd been making it dangerous, they'd gone. Should I give it up and run now? What if they were still waiting, just outside? Or what if they'd gone for good, and it was safe? Should I give up now?

I don't know what I woulda done, if I'd had longer to think. But that's when the door opened again.

They didn't bother hiding this time.

I'd seen the toon around before, I coulda sworn, but I was looking less at him and more at his six-shooter. Soon as he saw me, he was drawing, and without needing to think about it, I drew too.

This was better. No time to think. No choices. Just instinct. Point and shoot.

I didn't think about which gun I'd drawn.

Now, I've seen some things in my time I never wanna see again. And I've done some things I regret. But his was a whole new horror.

I'd seen toons die by the Dip before. But this one? This was me. This was my fault.

You ever seen somebody get wiped clean off the face of existence?

Like wiping an animation frame clean off the celluloid.

Where the fire from my gun had hit him, he was dissolving, melting away. I shoulda run. I couldn't look away.

Funny what you pick up on in moments like that. Staring at the guy's face, watching him die, that's when I realised where I'd seen him before. The case files I'd been putting together, it all clicked.

He ran with the mob. This mob.

Here to make nice with the boss, and I'd just killed one of his henchmen.

And then something else clicked. This guy, he was loyal. He wouldn'ta been trying to kill his own mob boss. And even if he had, he wouldn'ta hadda sneak around to do it. The boss woulda trusted him. He coulda walked right in.

Which meant he hadn't been here for the boss. He'd been here for me.

I ran.

Outside, it was whirling down snow. Another beautiful night. Another night for dying. I slipped, nearly pitched right over, and that's when I saw the red in the white, the trail of blood in the footprints I'd left. The pain in my leg hit me then, with the cold and the fear crashing down on me. Bullet musta gone clean through. The toon had gotten a shot off before he died.

I was gonna die out here. I was gonna die out here. It took everything I had to keep staggering forwards, limping, sliding in the drifts. Snowfall might hide shoe marks, but it wouldn't hide the blood. The mobs wanted me dead. I knew that now for sure. And here I was, injured and half crazy, staggering through the storm with a trail of blood behind me. Every time I passed someone, I thought that was gonna be it. They'd draw a piece. They'd take me out. I was gonna die out here.

Damn, but it was getting cold. And darker, somehow, even though the sun had set already.

I don't know how I made it back. All I wanted, all the way home, was to stop. To lie down in the snow, just for a moment. Just to rest. Just let the horror of it all slip away. But I knew I'd never make it up again. The mob wouldn't have to kill me. I'd freeze to death, or else I'd bleed out, right there in the snow.

I made it home, somehow. Crashed through the door. Dragged myself up the stairs. Couldn't help thinking how mad the landlady was gonna be that I'd bled on the carpet. I almost found it funny, too. I knew that meant I was in trouble.

Through the door. Turn the lock. Safe and sound. I took a breath, let out a sigh. It felt like I hadn't been breathing, the whole way back.

Coulda sworn I'd switched le light on, but the room still seemed so dark. I reached for the switches, and they tipped away from me. The whole room turned over, and I was falling, falling down into the black.

A friend told me they saw Reaper at the Granta Pub. So I stabbed him there with a bullet.