The Assassins' Guild

[13:10 PM] Love is all around, it's everywhere I go... or so Michael William Donaghy must think?

[18:30 PM] Joshua Blanchard Lewis mistakes an innocent for Ninja_Elf

[23:00 PM] Maximilian Arturo and Rembrandt Brown appreciate the soft furnishings, but are disappointed by the lack of Bink Atkins

Saturday, 26 January

[11:05 AM] Clytemnestra was in fact doing what was best for Matt Green(Professor Plum), or so they say.

[13:30 PM] Lord_of_Lamancha tries to goad William Brooks into a fight.... Will he accept? (no pun intended :P)

[15:17 PM] Poetic Justice for Will "the nemesis of all things purple" Brooks

[18:29 PM] Bink Atkins(Batcake) gets a question on science! Maybe she should have asked Maximilian Arturo and Quinn Mallory for help?

[22:07 PM] William Brooks had an eventful evening, but noone died :( (this makes me a sad umpire)

Sunday, 27 January

[03:00 AM] Bad Tom Booth. Bad. (I hear Tom Wootten may be interested to hear this news)

[03:00 AM] Tom Booth, well lol

[09:00 AM] Tom Booth rampages on... at least Sunil Shah (Red) was his target!

[14:35 PM] Under Siege 4: Matthew Delja (John Wesley Hardin) gets taken down by the hit action hero, Axolotl

[15:30 PM] Best Lurk Ever!!

[16:00 PM] Take one Tom Booth, add a little William Brooks and just a dash of Jacob Samuel Corteen and guess what you get?

[17:20 PM] Oh Tom Booth, I guess that's what happens when you leave your door unlocked, eh Marko Thiel (SupplyAndDemand)? Jacob Samuel Corteen's beard was also menancing Christ's.

[18:32 PM] Dan Craik's neighbours become good friends...

[18:45 PM] Tom Booth shows that he will shoot just about anyone he even vaguely might possibly recognise. Neville Ball (DUI) just found this out.

[19:10 PM] William Brooks is a very popular boy today...

[19:30 PM] The nefarious criminal Tom Booth(John Carter of Mars) is finally brought down.

[22:30 PM] Jacob Samuel Corteen is the nemesis of William Brooks(Will "the nemesis of all things purple" Brooks)

[22:36 PM] Michael William Donaghy(Wade Kathleen Welles) tries to get in the way of science, and feels Maximilian Arturo's wrath

Monday, 28 January

[08:50 AM] Dan Craik(The Pagonophobe) was a good neighbour, but that didn't stop Jacob Samuel Corteen

[09:36 AM] Hmmm... I guess this must be code or something...

[12:00 PM] He's behind you! Callum Rhodes(SGD) fails to use essential panto knowledge against General Operative (Death)

[12:15 PM] Jayaveni Chedumbarum Pillay(mysteryman) finds out what happens when you break out of bounds rules from Jacob Samuel Corteen

[15:30 PM] If only Adam Guterres(Heatwaves to Alaska) was in Alaska, then he would have been wearing gloves and would not have died

[16:45 PM] The elite military knowledge kicked in too late for Ben Naseman(The Admiral)

[17:30 PM] Are you looking for anyone? Anna Kalorkoti(Clytemnestra) doesn't like Backward Finesse's answer

[18:00 PM] Battle of mice gives Megan Stanley(Miss. Terie) a fear of rodents

[19:55 PM] Sian Humphries(DOA) is indeed DOA

[20:10 PM] The poison epidemic continues, with Robert Bell(Notes from a small island) the latest victim

[21:00 PM] Shenanigans occur, involving many many assassins, mainly all running away from each other

Tuesday, 29 January

[00:11 AM] NEWSFLASH!!! Due to multiple illegal homocides by Joshua Blanchard Lewis, Tom Wootten and crime central tighten up security on the crime database.

[12:30 PM] Philip Hubbard(Old Uncle Tom Cobleigh et al.) finds out that The Smug Ostrich doesn't just put their head in the sand

[13:50 PM] Joshua Blanchard Lewis rampages on... Is there anyone out there (wo)man enough to stop him?

Wednesday, 30 January

[00:00 AM] It's the Umpire's Birthday!!

[01:45 AM] Michael William Donaghy does his best to clean up the mean streets of Cambridge

[08:30 AM] Little Miss Apprehensive is dedicated... their target is just lazy

[08:31 AM] Maximilian Arturo and The Independent Nation of Neil are clearly lacking some Backward Finesse

[10:15 AM] Those early morning lectures are a killer, as Rich Miller(Muttley) discovers

[18:45 PM] After a run in with Joshua Blanchard Lewis, Philip Bielby (Rembrandt Brown) fell to Jacob Samuel Corteen. Revenge of his death exactly one year ago to the day, perhaps?

[20:40 PM] Michael William Donaghy- You are a lawful human warrior. Philip Bielby - You are dead.

Thursday, 31 January

[17:45 PM] Can nothing stop the Duke, can't stop the Duke... poor Emilie Yerby (String) :(

[18:50 PM] Killing David Anthony Read(#4502) is all in a day's work for General Operative (Death)

[20:50 PM] A attacks!! KEZ(Tinky Winky) ain't alive anymore

[21:03 PM] Timothy Bazalgette (Axolotl) 's life comes to an end, Tubular Bells!

[22:00 PM] The hits just keep coming for Michael Oldfield, Liam Mencel (Mencellator) clearly wasn't a fan.

[22:25 PM] Beware Joshua Blanchard Lewis, DI Love is on the case!

[23:18 PM] Monty Karl, I would make you wanted but I don't even think that remotely constitutes an attempt :P

Friday, 1 February

[10:24 AM] Pheeleep Beelbee is after Alicia Danks, zomg!

[13:15 PM] The beard strikes again, Jacob Samuel Corteen murders Ruairidh King (bumchumnumberone)

[19:40 PM] Well, Monty Karl could fix your computer, but would rather kill you instead, sorry Robert Patterson (the man with a sunlight allergy)

Saturday, 2 February

[12:00 PM] A awaits Ninja_Elf, but he doesn't appear

[12:05 PM] Unfortunately for James Brister(Sylvester McCoy), Robert Coomber was Hide-and-Seek World Champion in his youth

[15:15 PM] The nefarious criminal Joshua Blanchard Lewis(Tumultuous Weathercocks Instigate Lethargically Levitating Obelisks) is finally eliminated (in quite some style) by Backward Finesse

[15:31 PM] Yuan Cao Zhang (Cancer Man) couldn't beat the iron lady.

[15:45 PM] Little Miss Apprehensive shoots James Brister's corpse...

[16:30 PM] Yer Ma lacks any Backward Finesse

[19:00 PM] Karma kills Simon Abernethy(The Independent Nation of Neil) - or rather Quinn Mallory does

[19:18 PM] Our Lady Bonbons made an attempt on Monty Karl, but does Monty Karl suspect anything

Sunday, 3 February

[14:00 PM] The incobash strikes! End result: Sol Richardson(trilobite sundae), Liam Brierley(Snickers) and Tom Wootten(Not The Highway Code) dead!

[17:00 PM] The Policeman with Absolute Motion was the only cop with the power to get to Homerton.. unfortunately Ninja_Elf also lacked the power

[18:12 PM] ^.^;;<||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||> has been out and about...

[21:07 PM] Little Miss Apprehensive joins the Assassins Poetry Club

Monday, 4 February

[14:15 PM] Guaranteed Overnight Dispatchment journeys to the real world to get Pheeleep Beelbee, alas the real world is not ready for Pheeleep Beelbee

[18:00 PM] A quote from the book of Benjamin Weaver. "If you're in a fight, you're doing it wrong!" Alicia Danks (Little Miss Apprehensive), Amelia Booth (Battle of mice) and David Williams (Backward Finesse AKA Solid Snake) just haven't learnt from the master.

[18:05 PM] Jacob Samuel Corteen continues on the warpath, who is next on his list? Robert Coomber (The Smug Ostrich AKA I was drunk or tired when I chose my last Psuedo) apparently :(

[21:30 PM] Eystein Thanisch (Lord_of_Lamancha) stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator, and vanished

[22:00 PM] William Brooks was today promoted to Captain of the Police Force due to his relentless pursuit of justice!

[22:25 PM] Benjamin Weaver got lost on the way to finding Our Lady Bonbons, who would rather not die right now.

[22:30 PM] Surely a gentleman like Maximilian Arturo would be suited to the iron lady, umm I guess not?

[23:02 PM] Lu Wei (Wooly5) also stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator, and vanished

Tuesday, 5 February

[11:52 AM] Dinesh-Ramesh Mirpuri Vatvani (Ninja_Elf) should have been looking after his Private Parts, or something.

[12:00 PM] Benjamin Weaver rampaged on, kind of, alas Rich Miller got to Ninja_Elf first.

[23:00 PM] The Umpire hears that Philip Bielby is corrupt to Benjamin Weaver.... shocker!

[23:01 PM] Benjamin Weaver kills Michael William Donaghy (what? I'm not a furry.), I blame Philip Bielby :P

Wednesday, 6 February

[02:00 AM] Cimcirymci and the police are late night shopping for Benjamin Weaver

[02:09 AM] Murder on the Dancefloor! Jacob Samuel Corteen (Fourth Merry Man from the left AKA The Harbringer of 2012 AKA Trinity's Nemesis) finally falls to the iron lady

[20:22 PM] Michael Oldfield speaks to the people!

Thursday, 7 February

[13:40 PM] Nick Plummer (Pheeleep Beelbee) will regret arguing with the Royal Mail over his Guaranteed Overnight Dispatchment.

[20:00 PM] Benjamin Weaver (A) is finally taken down, not even a counter-vertical carpet bomb could save him this time! Angua scores the win for the Police.

Friday, 8 February

[11:00 AM] J Doe keeps us up to date with proceedings

[13:00 PM] Elaine Oliver kills Steven Shenton (Quinn Mallory) and nearly kills DI Love

[17:00 PM] Monty Karl was out lurking for Yer Ma, I'm beginning to worry about him.

[18:51 PM] William Brooks tells us about his evening.

Saturday, 9 February

[10:00 AM] Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow dreams of ballooning with Luke Richard Bennett

[11:00 AM] The Policeman with Absolute Motion wasn't fast enough for Prof. Plum, but an assassin was!

[14:47 PM] Ensign Ricky, man in the red suit, dies... again. Philip Bielby, he so l33t!

[21:21 PM] Luke Richard Bennett, AKA Raccoon version 2, wounds and then finishes off Simeon Bird (Maximilian Arturo AKA Michael Oldfield AKA Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow)

Monday, 11 February

[13:06 PM] Le Chef pompt a la Bronwyn Elliott (Our Lady Bonbons)

[16:30 PM] Le Chef pompts too much, or simply pompts where he shouldn't be pompting, Roisin Kiberd (the iron lady) falls to Le Chef's excessive pompting.

[17:30 PM] Luke Richard Bennett had some direct interaction with Kristian Glass, ooh err!

[20:00 PM] At 21:00 this evening, police battle commences!

Tuesday, 12 February

[09:00 AM] Thomson and Thompson and Le Chef were seen testing the catering facilities at the police station! Could there have been a health hazard lurking about!?

[18:05 PM] Private Parts strikes the first blow to the pants of corruption, Philip Hubbard (Thomson and Thompson) falls.

[22:30 PM] Sacre bleu! William Brooks (Le Chef) est mort! Michael William Donaghy pompt suis Le Chef.

Wednesday, 13 February

[02:30 AM] Luke Richard Bennett spotted Jennifer Berry (an assassin)on her way back from the kambar, and shot her, how exciting!

[11:55 AM] Elaine Oliver lurked for Kristian Glass but he wasn't home :(

[20:20 PM] Le Chef (c'est fantastique)

Thursday, 14 February

[00:01 AM] Police Shenanigans!

[00:01 AM] Philip Bielby strikes a blow to the heart of the allied forces, Colin Love (DI Love) is no more!

[12:30 PM] Luke Richard Bennett and Joshua Blanchard Lewis lurk for the inco, Kristian Glass (Monty Karl), El Dukie kills him to make the streets safe once again! perhaps...

[13:00 PM] Elaine Oliver spotted a lesser seen Kristian Glass, this is particularly rare given he was already dead!

[17:00 PM] Philip Bielby takes over the police for as new Captain!

Friday, 15 February

[21:52 PM] Luke Richard Bennett (General Operative (Death) AKA Guaranteed Overnight Dispatchment AKA Raccoon Version 2) finishes as victor, disposing of Elaine Oliver (Yer Ma)!!!

The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

Friday, 25 January