The Assassins' Guild

[11:57 AM] First kill! Clyde, Ed Phillips stabbed to death by Radical Edward

[12:00 PM] curlybennett, Nicholas Bennett - known as Nick brutally stabbed in the back by Sully Kupiec-weglinski

[13:00 PM] The Weaver makes a series of good attempts, however his target eludes the web.

[13:45 PM] A Deadly Siege:Blazer starves out and kills The lord of Muffins,Josh McQuail but get his accomplice killed in the process!

[14:45 PM] I think Joker may already have won the award for the coolest weapon by killing Luke Shirley with an exploding kitten...

[15:00 PM] Brutality at the Boathouse,Farida Flanelle stabs Pseudonymous Bosch,Henry Coburn whilst looking for a friend.

[16:00 PM] Athanata, Sarah Sheard, turns out not to be immortal when at the hands of MOC

[18:23 PM] Termination of Caesar, Ralph Jordan by Laser

[19:52 PM] Blunt and to the point: Battery Charger admits to the murder of Sanil Roy

[20:00 PM] Total Commander managed to make himself wanted by killing an innocent, before almost dying to Killer Sheep

[21:15 PM] Casual Killing, Mushu surprises Itachi,Taiyab Tarvala on his doorstep.

[22:00 PM] its Not Safe to Go Out!, Daud shoots funkychicken,Sudhir Balaji - known as Sud or Suddy on his doorstep as well.

[23:04 PM] Kitchen Killer: Maverick McGavin treats Kelsier,Joseph Holdsworth-Millerto the sharp end of a cookery lesson.

Saturday, 26 October

[12:00 PM] Breakfast Brawler, The Hooligan serves Allan Karlsson, Eleanor Hobson up for brunch

[12:08 PM] Farida Flanelle killed Mona Lisa, Curtis Reubens whilst passing down the street.

[13:40 PM] Dirty Double Cross, Bonnie slashes down Bantmaster , Sarah Sloss

[15:00 PM] Short and Sweet: Gordon Freeman defended himself from assault by The Master, Jack Swanborough by shooting him down

[16:20 PM] First Massacre: Blazer lives up to his name, gunning down Mai and Bonnie whilst they take on Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky

[16:40 PM] Second Battle: Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky and Blazer take out Punslinger and Astarael

[16:49 PM] Deliberately Left Blank killed The Mad Hatter, Emily Tyler

[16:58 PM] randolph carter stabbed Hubert,Guy Emanuel

Monday, 28 October

[08:30 AM] Death stalks the streets, Kim Jong-Unbelievable takes out Chewbacca, John Cumner en route to lectures.

[09:50 AM] Pulvinar takes down Redrum, Katherine Macfarland

[10:30 AM] Weed Ramen successfully cuts down Hachimaki, Max Baxter-Allen when he comes calling

[13:45 PM] Michelle killed Mr.Sainsbury's,Malko Sordo-de Cock - referred to as De Cock

[17:12 PM] The Joker's Riddles Continue, Joker spoons Jemsquidge, Sean Telford to death?

[18:05 PM] Preacher Casy dispenses the lords justice upon Stitch, Charlotte Daffern - known as Charlie

[19:28 PM] Conquering your fear: Duchess shows there is no need to Be Afraid of Karan Gupta.

[21:35 PM] Return of the exploding animals, Joker demolishes Scaley and another kitten!

[21:40 PM] No Mystery who Killed Liam Hammond, it had Blazer's signature all over it!

[22:10 PM] Mysterious Stains on the Paper: Rorschach spills the blood of Honey Badger, Alexander John Horne - known as Alex...

Tuesday, 29 October

[00:21 AM] Police Brutality is not a thing of the past. Marietta sneak Edgecombe dispatches Maverick McGavin, Benjamin Redwood for being Wanted.

[09:30 AM] second chance to get it right. Blazer finally finishes what he started with Punslinger, Patrick Stevens

[10:30 AM] Darren Koh, Felicia Clara Jun Hui Tan - known as FCT left the safety of the society and was killed by QB

[13:11 PM] The Blade strikes true into the heart of Total Commander's command

[20:40 PM] Battery Charger'd down the opposition, Battery Charger shock kill of El Pistolero,Izhan khan - known as Izy

Wednesday, 30 October

[10:00 AM] Kaminin goes a whole lecture just to kill You choose one,Devang Agrawal

[11:00 AM] Just How Radical is Edward? Enough to take out Blade,Miles Fan

[13:30 PM] The Fast Lurker lives up to its name and takes out Cottonmouth

[13:35 PM] Atlas incurs the wrath of the gods by sending Preacher Casy, John James William Fenton - known as Jamie to meet his maker

[18:30 PM] Attempt by Gordon Freeman on Not Joe, in which Gordon Freeman ends up wanted!

[19:00 PM] The dealiest game! Who knew that Origami arsenal, Harriet Meredith would get killed by Tarquinius Superbus over it?

[19:55 PM] Selenia strikes down Fedorphinn,Lewis Parker

Thursday, 31 October

[08:54 AM] State sponsored Murder, The Croatian National Guard sinks Nautical Nebby dreams of winning

[09:25 AM] Stripey Mongoose is a vicious predator, no matter how subtle the Silent Sneaker may be

[12:05 PM] Gordon Freeman ensures he's Not Dave any more.

[17:50 PM] The Mandarin, Laurence Gribble is the next in Gordon Freeman's bid to redeem himself

[18:30 PM] Rufus Scrimgeour attempts to deal justice upon Gordon Freeman just after he made his second licit kill

Friday, 1 November

[14:30 PM] Your faithful companion cube,isn't so faithful to Farida Flanelle as they battle it out!

[14:45 PM] Boatie sails through atatck, Farida Flanelle survives an attempt to scupper his efforts!

[16:58 PM] An interesting request The Weaver ,declares its own incompetence.

[19:30 PM] QB runs riot in the aquarium and ends The Life Aquatic of James Robson - known as Salavant

[21:15 PM] Ashrak has mutton on the menu and hunts down Killer Sheep,Matthew John - known as Matt

Saturday, 2 November

[12:55 PM] Gordon Freeman successful fends off and dispatches Douglas Hall who Deliberately Left Blank his pseudonym!

[13:00 PM] Rah Rah First and Third bumps off Ganja Mouse,James Robbs

[13:45 PM] Not so Ace, taking down a Joshua Phillips - known as Josh's neighbor before taking out his target - a sure way way to get WANTED!

[14:00 PM] Unleash the hounds to the hunt! Rover goes a hunting!

Sunday, 3 November

[13:29 PM] In discovering The Higgs,Atlas disproves the existence of Sreya Saha, making them disappear in a poof of logic!

[14:05 PM] The Candlewick's flame extinguished by a passing Pelagia Noctiluca. Matthew David March is no more...

[18:11 PM] Justice is Swift: Rufus Scrimgeour dispatches former Ace, Alexander Chong Kwan

[19:50 PM] It seems someone's out to corrupt the police!

[21:50 PM] justice is served: The Spine tracks down and kills the elusive Carmen Sandiego and her partner Thomas Ruddle

Monday, 4 November

[09:58 AM] Jonny Phillips's Hedgehog doesn't fare so well near bonfire night, and is drowned under the oars of Rah Rah First and Third

[09:59 AM] Vicious Trolling, the Comments Section's viciousness kills off Allexyz,Gemma Annetts

[17:15 PM] Batman not needed. Pulvinar ends Joker's manic reign and shows him as Joe Tomkinson

Tuesday, 5 November

[19:50 PM] The Verb is to lurk, but unsuccessful outside the lair of Vogon Jeltz

[20:06 PM] The Umpire Makes Comments Section wanted for killing an innocent!

[21:30 PM] Alas Hedwig,Neethu Billy Graham - Mariam is slain, mauled to death by the cub of BuzzBear.

Wednesday, 6 November

[15:00 PM] Dr Zeus hunts down Nobody and is still unsuccessful!

[17:15 PM] Mary Wollstonecraft kills a thieving Magpie(Jodie Coates - known as Jo): that'll teach you to steal shiny stuff!

[17:44 PM] Its a bad time to be in the doghouse. Rover chews up Enkvir,James Harry Brett on home turf!

Thursday, 7 November

[08:35 AM] Argh indeed, the last sound of Xincheng Wang - or Mark as he was killed by the Stripey Mongoose!

[11:35 AM] Vogon Jeltz lurked outside lecture theaters today, but my target failed to emerge.

[12:00 PM] Blitz Crank attempts to crank up the pace of the game, but fails

[12:44 PM] Sully Kupiec-weglinski foiled by locked door!

[14:30 PM] Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman dropped by a targets room today but they avoided death by the clever tactic of not being in.

[16:05 PM] Lock up and head for the hills:GLaDOS kills MOC,Molly O'Connor.

[16:20 PM] Really Lock Your Doors, GLaDOS is on the rampage and takes down The Spine,Isobel Sands in its lair!

[19:00 PM] Gwen Kirkland hunts down the feared Stripey Mongoose,Heather Britton

[20:00 PM] Tarquinius Superbus realises magic is no match for firepower and shoots Tarquinius Superbus,Stanislav Fort - known as Stan

[20:45 PM] Blasphemy of the highest order. Tarquinius Superbus shoots The Holy Pope,Sebastian Scholl.

[22:30 PM] Astarael's deadly call claims the life of Teduardo(Edward Carroll - known as Robert)

Friday, 8 November

[01:00 AM] Hagrid tracks down but doesn't club to death Marietta sneak Edgecombe.

[04:30 AM] Not so fast now..., The Fast Lurker(Tom Flynn) is tracked down and killed by a Sassassin

[15:00 PM] Viktor cries to death over the vegetable of doom,The onion

[16:00 PM] Knock Knock,Nobody there, sorry tacticallemon!

[16:15 PM] The web of fate is complex but The Weaver escapes being cut out.

[16:30 PM] Chaos in the Corridor Rahiden and Marwood battle it out indecisively, but one accomplice dies!

[18:00 PM] A Tranquil Night for Aesahaettr

[18:50 PM] A poetic offering but no kill by Ahti.

[20:55 PM] Bandicoot bungles attempt on Comments Section

[21:00 PM] See the Comments Section regarding the death of Syrio Forel,Gareth David Funk

[23:25 PM] Bonfire night a little late. Hatty McGrew kills Fawkes,Edward John Elcock - known as Ed

Saturday, 9 November

[11:56 AM] The umpire makes Laser,Marietta sneak Edgecombe,The Hooligan,Blazer WANTED!

[13:00 PM] The Duchess proves why the aristocracy survive and kills Pelagia Noctiluca,Nicola Papastavrou Brooks

[14:00 PM] Rufus Scrimgeour ruthlessly hunts down incompetents Spoon,Filip Masic and Kaiji,Lukasz Segiet on the inco-bash part 1

[15:00 PM] Hagrid takes Anton Vowl,Isaac Lawton to the forbidden forest, and leaves his corpse to the beasts

[16:40 PM] The Weaver finally ensnares a victim, killing Fred Weasley ( now revived)

[19:30 PM] the last dinner of Vanuatu,Vidur Kartikeya Mehta - known as Vid as he is stabbed to death by Michelle and Marietta sneak Edgecombe

[20:58 PM] Duchess slew the mighty The Basilisk(John Darlison),

Sunday, 10 November

[00:15 AM] Best way to juice a tacticallemon? drop The Bass on it! Hope that clears things up Addison Shore

[12:30 PM] Rufus Scrimgeour tracks down the werewolf, Wolffang who hides among the populace as Alex Burgess

[13:30 PM] GLaDOS Ices Carlo Lori!

[14:00 PM] Mini Inco bash Mk 2 Laser,Michelle,Marietta sneak Edgecombe,[P4,Blazer go a hunting

[14:25 PM] What happens when you mix Harry Potter and Cluedo? Prefect Ron Weasley kills Colonel Custard (Sam Garratt) in the bedroom with the revolver.

[14:30 PM] G man makes a second kill and takes out the lordoflard,Marcus Hatton

[16:30 PM] Smooze,Alfred Wallace - known as Alfie is the next of Michelle's victims

[18:00 PM] Blazer kills the BFG! Poor George Vare was crushed as he fell!

[19:00 PM] Radical Edward breaks a GiraffeCracker while taking tea with Mary Dai

Monday, 11 November

[00:00 AM] Lightsabers at Midnight, Mary Wollstonecraft kills Rahiden,Aiden Chan .

[09:00 AM] Wanted Man down. Lord Earldom Vomit kills the Laser wielding Lord Earldom Vomit!

[10:55 AM] Dr Zeus hunts down Essex's Evanescor Jonathan Michael Foonlan Tsang - known as Jonny

[12:30 PM] Marietta sneak Edgecombe takes out Dead Nursings,Eleanor Susan Redding Leydon.

[18:30 PM] Assassins Tweed,Tim Pearson is hunted down by Remus Lupin but takes his assailant to the grave with him

[18:45 PM] Gilderoy Lockhart kills Stripe-hat-killer,Jack Lawrence. Or so he claims...

[19:30 PM] Ironicall Gilderoy Lockhart kills The deceiver,Freddy Mills or is it all smoke and mirrors?

[20:00 PM] Charlie Weasley returns from his hunting trip with The Stingray as a trophy (Joseph Nelson died)

[21:15 PM] Prefect Ron Weasley proves he's not as incompetent as JK portrays him by killing Daud,Robert Seaton

[21:30 PM] The being know as L, Michael Lin - known as Mike brought down by Ashrak and Cornelius Fudge

[22:00 PM] Prefect Ron Weasley tracks down and eliminates dark wizards Ad Hominem and Daud (Leo Cairns and Robert Seaton)

Tuesday, 12 November

[11:00 AM] A fine hunting day all round, freddy c brings back a souvenir Koala for Tony Zhou

[13:05 PM] Marietta sneak Edgecombe slays mighty Mushu

[14:00 PM] Radical Edward continues his radical streak killing The Friar , Laura Tuck!

[14:18 PM] Weed Ramen makes an attempt!

[14:30 PM] Gunther Gundrop kills Cinderella and a very late report...

[17:30 PM] Rufus Scrimgeour hunts down the dreaded Shadow Panther,Jordan Mitchell

[21:00 PM] Siege of Blantyre, Michelle)Charlie Farmer),Marietta sneak Edgecombe(N5]) killed by Hagrid who in turn fell to The Hooligan who was wounded by Gilderoy Lockhart.

[22:10 PM] Radical Edward really is radical, and kills Cecil Baldwin,(Emily Room)

Wednesday, 13 November

[16:30 PM] The dead child (Augustin Zidek) killed? how on earth is that possible, I ask Tarquinius Superbus

[19:00 PM] Rorschach spends too much time staring at Ink Blotts to make a kill.

[19:15 PM] Gilderoy Lockhart tracks down the rogue witch Ellen Williams,Kate Blackshaw

[19:30 PM] Luna Lovegood kills the Banana Marley, (Amy Livingstone)

Thursday, 14 November

[13:10 PM] No Messing with the new Prof. throwing out The Hooligan for misdeed already

[18:58 PM] Cornelius Fudge hunts down a Pterodactyl, I thought they were already extinct say Rachael Gregory!

[21:30 PM] Pulvinar pulverises Lord Earldom Vomit into unconsciousness, but fails to finish the job!

Friday, 15 November

[00:00 AM] Radical Edward kills non-radical, just plain Bob and Thurkka Rajeswaran.

[13:00 PM] freddy c kills yesiskinnedmypethamster,Andrew Harland.

[17:45 PM] Slartibartfast (Alexander James Fairclough - known as Alex) gets killed by an Sassassin. The universe is doomed.

[18:00 PM] Selenia attacked

[18:30 PM] Charles Pun Mineral slays The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, commiserations to William Kaufhold - known as Will for the loss of his pet bunny.

Saturday, 16 November

[10:14 AM] Atlas searches the world and comes up with no targets!

Sunday, 17 November

[13:00 PM] Fear the bite of the Black Widow, even the Battery Charger won't shock it to death. RIP Isar Bhattacharjee.

[19:15 PM] The Verb is to kill, something Astarael knows all too well Rebecca Harwin.

[21:00 PM] The Mechanic fixes up the death of randolph carter (Orlando Beecroft)

Monday, 18 November

[14:30 PM] Vera Kelly eliminates Phrederik (Filip Gokstorp) presumably because he can't spell his own name

[18:30 PM] Spiderman assaults Rover but is fended off with the help of Tess Tickle. To top it off Rover kills Elephant

[22:30 PM] Weed Ramen takes advantage of Your faithful companion cube to kill Jack Brewster. Never trust anyone

Tuesday, 19 November

[13:00 PM] Vera Kelly kills Krem-Fresh (Kiara de Kremer) all over some dairy products. Tragic.

Wednesday, 20 November

[13:15 PM] His Lordship takes offence. Lord Earldom Vomit kills Marwood,Mairead Hamilton Budge - mostly called Budge

[14:00 PM] GLaDOS bags itself Jessica Payn - known as Jess's Ducktopus for scientific experiment. Surely that's inhumane?

[18:36 PM] Not so funny for The Laughing Kid (Azhir Mahmood - known as Az) when he gets crushes as Atlas drops a world of hurt on him.

[19:15 PM] Magic and technology don't mix. Rufus Scrimgeour destroys his Macbookpro when it fails to match his magic. Sorry Macarena Machimbarrena - known as Maca

[23:45 PM] Ashrak not voted immortal, and in fact dead, by Lord Voted Immoral's hand. RIP Konstantinos Kyriakopoulos

Thursday, 21 November

[12:55 PM] Prof. Rubeus Hagrid unsuccessfully tries to stop the misdeed of Blazer but loses him in the forbidden forest!

[13:00 PM] A deadly firefight. Blazer takes down command of The Croatian National Guard, Benjamin Dobson in a sotrm of fire. .

[20:30 PM] Prefect Ron Weasley and Gunther Gundrop gang up to kill Dave

Friday, 22 November

[13:00 PM] Tess Tickle sets her pet pooch Rover on a rogue Bandicoot (Harry Milnes)

[17:25 PM] freddy c and Ahti duel inconclusively

Saturday, 23 November

[11:52 AM] RIP Fred Weasley II again, this time falling into the deadly webs of The Weaver

[18:00 PM] Ahti kills Gwen Kirkland (Holly Sandford) softly, with poetry:

[18:40 PM] In poor humour, Radical Edward can't kill Vogon Jeltz

[21:05 PM] The Infernal Machine of Ben Martineau fell into the hands of Kim Jong-Unbelievable after the death of the owner.

Sunday, 24 November

[10:00 AM] Lord Voted Immoral strikes down Vogon Jeltz (Emily Bain). He really doesn't like bypasses.

[12:20 PM] Crookshanks pounces on Maverick McGavin to lethal effect!

[18:00 PM] Catfight! Mary Wollstonecraft goes hunting for Hatty McGrew but fails to find them!

Monday, 25 November

[08:47 AM] Sully Kupiec-weglinski has Mightily Oats for breakfast, and lives! sorry Max Nussbaumer.

[13:00 PM] Ahti fails to kill Vogon Jeltz due to already being dead. But heres another nice poem anyway

[19:00 PM] Rover, more sniffer dog than attack dog, find the body of Mightily Oats.

[20:00 PM] G man heads to the coven of the Scarlet Witch but she isn't there. Boring

Tuesday, 26 November

[08:45 AM] Oh Dear, faithful Rover is trampled by the Bad Horse. RIP Michael French

[13:15 PM] The Newly ennobled Lord Immortal Dove kills Finch (Qubekani Moyo)

Wednesday, 27 November

[08:25 AM] Blitz Crank crank up the killing. RIP Sully Kupiec-weglinski (Gwilym Kuiper)

[11:00 AM] Nobody stalks and kills Samus (Holly Priest) outside lectures

[17:30 PM] The Weaver tries to ensnare Mary Wollstonecraft but to no avail

Friday, 29 November

[08:55 AM] Ahti kills Tarquinius Superbus (Stanislav Fort - known as Stan)

[11:45 AM] Spiderman swings by the lair of Hatty McGrew but doesn't bite.

[16:30 PM] The BuzzBear falls to Gordon Freeman. RIP Alexander Cicale - known as Mum

[18:00 PM] Jacobini falls to the wrath of the reindeer. Dont Mess With Rudoplh Johanna Ohlman

[20:31 PM] Hagrid Goes a Hunting

Saturday, 30 November

[15:25 PM] Celestia Ludenberg investigates the lair of Blabble

[17:45 PM] Blabble kills off Celestia Ludenberg (Stephen Hobbs)

[20:00 PM] DUEL! Ahti falls to Radical Edward!

[23:00 PM] Blitz Cranking out the kills, next falls Hatty McGrew (Charlie Mercer) !

Sunday, 1 December

[20:45 PM] Selenia tries to assail a lurking Don't Call me Nymphadora Tonks but might is no match for magic. RIP Kamile Rastenyte

[23:30 PM] Deadly Sassassin Louise Elizabeth Davies is blinded by the light of Helios, and falls to their doom...

Monday, 2 December

[15:25 PM] Time for a vocabularly lesson Weed Ramen a new Verb ! Lesson not learned...

Wednesday, 4 December

[13:00 PM] The ministry exercises its might, and brings down Vamseedhar Bheemireddy - known as Vamsee The Mechanic

[21:00 PM] Rufus Scrimgeour has a bulletin from the ministry

Friday, 6 December

[00:00 AM] RIP Verb ,Tess Tickle, The Weaver, Blitz Crank, QB, Kim Jong-Unbelievable, Nobody, freddy c, Black Widow, Atlas, Pulvinar, Dr Zeus, Blabble, Weed Ramen, Rorschach.

[16:00 PM] The DUEL: Spiderman, Helios fail to show up, and Lord Immortal Dove kills Mary Wollstonecraft kills Gordon Freeman.

[17:00 PM] And so it came to pass. The reigh of terror of Farida Flanelle AKA Rah Rah First and Third AKA Comments Section AKA Lord Earldom Vomit AKA Lord Voted Immoral AKA Lord Immortal Dove , Thomas Rychlik was cut short by Radical Edward. Congratulations to our winner: Danielle Saunders!

The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

Friday, 25 October