Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 6 News

Friday, 29 November

[11:45 AM] Spiderman swings by the lair of Hatty McGrew but doesn't bite.
Spiderman reports:

Looks like I'll have to swing by again when someone will let me into the staircase

[16:30 PM] The BuzzBear falls to Gordon Freeman. RIP Alexander Cicale - known as Mum
Gordon Freeman reports:








[18:00 PM] Jacobini falls to the wrath of the reindeer. Dont Mess With Rudoplh Johanna Ohlman
Dont Mess With Rudoplh reports:

Santa Claus had placed Johanna Ohlman on his naughty list. She had been very bad, and not killed nearly enough of those pesky assassins. But being opposed to capital punishment, Santa planned to punish her by sending her coal for Christmas.

Rudolph is not opposed to capital punishment. He thinks giving people like Johanna Ohlman coal is a waste of the elves' taxes.He shot her in the stomach. And then while she bled to death, she tried to convince him to come to her freshers play (Celebration by Pinter, Saturday evening, 7.30pm, and Sunday matinee, 2pm, at Peterhouse). Rudolph felt no remorse. What an evil reindeer.

[20:31 PM] Hagrid Goes a Hunting
Prof. Rubeus Hagrid reports:

Dear Nymphadora,

I enjoyed our joint hunt for the two incompetent students and possible followers of the dark arts. If you ever find yourself close to my hut again let me know and we might have better luck.



Saturday, 30 November

[15:25 PM] Celestia Ludenberg investigates the lair of Blabble
Celestia Ludenberg reports:

I was curious to see what became of them, but it seems their doors are locked.

[17:45 PM] Blabble kills off Celestia Ludenberg (Stephen Hobbs)
Blabble reports:

On arriving at my target's room, I quickly realised no one was home, as his door conveniently had a large peephole in its centre. Reluctantly cutting my losses and leaving, I luckily recognised him as I passed him on the stairs - and so sneaked back up and waited, patiently, for him to leave again. It was an easy kill once he opened the door - having taken off my shoes to avoid making any noise while walking, he didn't suspect a thing.

Celestia Ludenberg reports:

Well then, I bid you all farewell. I hope we meet again in the next world...

[20:00 PM] DUEL! Ahti falls to Radical Edward!
Prefect Ron Weasley reports:

Dear Headmaster

I recently became aware that a couple of students intended to settle their grievances at a prearranged location and time within the school grounds. I thought it best to not interfere and let them get it out of their systems, given that the students in question are of otherwise good character - I fear that had they not, both would soon have found themselves listed for discipline as their rivalry was distracting them from their academic duties and I believe you yourself had warned them that they needed to demonstrate more effort. I thus ensured that I was present when they met in front of the school chapel at the stroke of midnight to ensure that their combat was conducted with honour and minimal use of the Dark Arts.

Their conduct did indeed conform to the above standards of civility, and any reports to the effect that the majority of the combat consisted of a comical one-legged chase between pantomime pirates owing to both parties paralysing one leg of the other, are of course entirely disingenuous.

The result of the encounter was that Ahti (Tristan Roberts) was defeated. I believe that in light of this, both students minds will be much more focused on their work, especially Ahti since he will have much less to distract him now he will be spending the rest of the term in the school infirmary.

I apologise that I have been less that successful in apprehending those who have been listed for discipline for a while now. I have, I'm afraid, been distracted by some pressing matters in my own studies, but I am aware that this is no excuse and shall endeavour to make up this deficiency over the weekend.

Best wishes

Prefect R. Weasley

Radical Edward reports:

Greetings assassarinios! Ed here signing in! A most oddsomely occurrence in the planet of Cambridge, Great St Mary's quadrant an honourable bountyhead! Though once at a truce, Ed knew the time must come when few targets remained for either of us. Duel-time!

We met at the dead of night! In front of the ancient ghostly hauuuuuunted church (spoooooooooky!), with a member of the Inter-Solar-System Police arbitrating, Ed entered a deadly duel against the eeeeevil villain Ahti, who lost his leg moments into the fight. It is easy to lose food, limbs and small shiny objects when jamming with Edward!

One-legged Ahti was too slow for Radical Edward! Threw lots of nasty pointy knives at Ed, but Ed dodged them aaaall, twiiiirling, spiiinning wheeeeee ooh look a club, clubs are nice, hit the pointy with club. That's not a pointy, that's an Ahti's-neck!

Oh. Look. He's unconscious.

Bang bang, one bullet. Twelve strikes. Bye bye Ahti . Bounty acquired

Edward signing off

Ahti reports:

Lemminki away then went, Ahti then did leave that cabin, and wandered from the pine-made hall. Went he his island then back to, the Saarelainen heading home. He then reached at last his farmstead, made his way up to the doorway, stepped he over wooden threshold, in his bright-lit dwelling stood. There he saw into the wall, in the side of that very house, in the bones of the farmstead, on the wood the home was built from, a foe there had carved words warlike, written there their defiant boast, â??Come and face me in the warfield, see me on the plain of battle, march to face me toe-to-toe, and to fight me hand-to-hand, I could best you in a blindfold, run you through with blunted sabre, shoot you from behind my back, and send you down to Tuonela Even if you brought an army, if you came with the greatest horde, I would take your life as easâ??ly, as if you had come alone; if you wear a shirt of chainmail, my blade will pierce your heart the same, as if it were made of finest silk if you bring the sharpest longsword, I shall sweep it from out your hand, it will be no better helper, than would be a stick of butter, a twig from the nearest treebranch, no better than a broom-handle you shall fall upon my sword-blade, shed thy blood there on the field, send you on to Tuonela, off to dwell in thâ??cabins there, stay no more amongst the living and to feast only with corpses Ahti thought then on his honour, thought about what was right to do. A man must defend his honour, it is right to fight for glory, and so he must slay this enemy, march to face them toe-to-toe, and to fight them hand-to-hand, go and face them in the warfield, see them on the plain of battle, Honed he then his blade for three days, until it could cut the wind through; spent those days readying his bow, â??til it could shoot the stars from heavâ??n, send them falling to the oceans, strike the great bear down to the mountains, there to walk the sky nevermore; whetted his dirks those days as well, so they could pierce the cliff-walls, and could bite the hearts of mountains and could slay the greatest hillock. Ahti knew himself ready, knew he was the greatest warrior, knew there was no foe could best him, had more skill upon the field, that no soldier could duck his blade, no foe there was could dodge his bolts, and no shield could stop his daggers. So he knew that he was ready, prepared to face any danger, and to best the worst foe. Rode he then off to the field, off to fight in the great battle there before the house of Ukko, the home of the high creator, cabin of the great old man, at midnight beneath the stars, under heavenâ??s watchful gaze, there he met his wrathful foe, that fierce warrior of Northland, coming down from far Pohjola, down to fight the mighty Ahti, that great hero, Saarelainen, try her luck â??gainst Lemminkainen to see who would triumph on the field, and which fighter was the greatest. Each readied all their weapons, drew their crossbows, loaded bolts; placed their blades upon their hips, and put their knives in their place; stared each warrior at the other, waited for their foe to move first, finâ??lly the northlander fired, her crossbow hurled its dart, Ahti too shot his steel arrow, both the bolts flew over their heads, the wind took them to far afield, brandished Ahti then his cutlass, shook it at his foe and cried, Come to fight me now you coward, come and face me toe-to-toe, and come fight me hand-to-hand, if you strike at me with a sword, I shall cleave your brand in twain, and send you with a broken blade down to Tuonela, there youâ??ll go. If you try to block all my blows, my knife will pierce through your shield, no buckler could halt my steel. So then, come and meet your death, meet your end upon my bright blade! Ahti rushed then at his foe, charged at her with all his haste. and the foe fired her bow once again, threw a dart with all her hatred, Ahti though turned it away, changed its course with his blade, sent where it would no harm do. Desperate this Northland woman flung a knife with all her might, and it lodged in Ahtiâ??s foot, tore a gash deep in his leg, Lemminkäinen then cried out, I know not the source of iron, whence the steel and when its evils; I am not master of my troubles, do not know how metals were created. Ahti tried then to fight on, though his wounded leg was useless, his foe had rendered him lame. As he crawled along the ground, his sword struck against a rock and the blade it turned and shattered, a thousand pieces fell to earth; honed it had been unto brittlety, whetted until fragile-thin. Ahti again bemoaned his lot, cursed he then the steel wielded and cried he raging to the wind, Curses on thee, cruel iron, curses on the steel thou givest, curses on thee, tongue of evil, cursed be thy life forever! wrathful he then flung a dagger wounding his nemesis in her leg, brought her too to point of limping, made it so she too must crawl; the two heroes battled more, sometimes one near struck the other, other-times was otherwise, finâ??lly that great foe from Northland, thâ??warrior from Sariola, took she a log from the ground, struck she Ahti in the temple, sent him reeling to the floor; grasped she then for her crossbow, loaded it with gleaming bolt, drew the string back all the way, and did aim at Ahtiâ??s heart, fired the dart that sent him death-wards, sent him off to Tuonela, there to cross the blackest stream, to fare over fatal whirlpools, Lemminkainen, wild and daring, to float down the coal-black current, through the cataract and rapids, to the tombs of Tuonela. There the blood-stained son of death-land, there Tuoni's son and hero, cuts in pieces Lemminkainen, chops him with his mighty hatchet, till the sharpened axe strikes flint-sparks from the rocks within his chamber, chops the hero into fragments, into five unequal portions, throws each portion to Tuoni, in Manala's lowest kingdom, speaks these words when he has ended: swim thou there, wild Lemminkainen, flow thou onward in this river, hunt forever in these waters, with thy crossbow and thine arrow, shoot the swan within this empire, shoot our water-birds in welcome Thus the hero, Lemminkainen, mighty Ahti Saarelainen, the untiring suitor, dieth in the river of Tuoni, in the death-realm of Manala. And so now my song it endeth, this story draws to a close, some day I shall sing again, a new hero, a new battle, the story remains the same, every-time, the warrior struggles, and each time they must fall, hope I do that you remember, that this tale all is true, that it is no lie for children, no tale spun to entertain; instead it is the story of a hero, a great warrior who fought, one who warred and one who died, as indeed we all must do, this then is not just Ahtiâ??s story, it is the tale of each of you.

[23:00 PM] Blitz Cranking out the kills, next falls Hatty McGrew (Charlie Mercer) !
Blitz Crank reports:

With incompetence looming once more, I lurked outside Charlie Mercer's staircase, having already slipped in behind someone through a locked gate. I then waited a while, only to see him emerge, dressed in a dashing green elf costume. Surrounded by mostly female Santas, he headed to what I think was some kind of a bop but before he could get there, I stabbed him (while doing my best impression of the Grinch). As he lay dying he remarked that he might not remember the encounter (he was fairly drunk); alas, memories are but whispers in the wind. Death is final.

Sunday, 1 December

[20:45 PM] Selenia tries to assail a lurking Don't Call me Nymphadora Tonks but might is no match for magic. RIP Kamile Rastenyte
Selenia reports:

It was a dark evening and I was heading for a library with my friend. Just as we left the living territory I noticed a figure peaking from behind a corner. This person looked very suspicious and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Just a few seconds later, as I looked back at the person for the last time, the figure was finally recognised. It was Nymphadora Tonks, holding her magic wand. I immediately started running while taking out my knifes that were nothing compared to Tonks Aqua spells. I was taken down in no time. I knew we should have taken another way to the library...

[23:30 PM] Deadly Sassassin Louise Elizabeth Davies is blinded by the light of Helios, and falls to their doom...
Helios reports:

Unfortunately as the free for all was announced I happen to be sat in a room with someone yet to suffer their inevitable demise, however they could avoid fate no longer, and as we left from the room I shot Louise Elizabeth Davies in the back as we parted ways.

Monday, 2 December

[15:25 PM] Time for a vocabularly lesson Weed Ramen a new Verb ! Lesson not learned...
Verb reports:

Lucky adj. 1 Occurring by chance, c.f. a lucky escape, such as when the target leaves their door open but the would-be assassin has to give up lurking in their room and go to her supervision before they return. 2) Having good fortune, e.g. the appearance of chocolate on one's desk.

Wednesday, 4 December

[13:00 PM] The ministry exercises its might, and brings down Vamseedhar Bheemireddy - known as Vamsee The Mechanic
Rufus Scrimgeour reports:

style="font-size: 300%;"> Activity report

Date and time: 04/12/2013 at 13:00

Operatives:Rufus Scrimgeour

Mission: Capture or kill the individual known as The Mechanic, accused of severe breaches to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Act.

Status:Success: The Mechanic was killed

Casualties:The Mechanic

Detailed Report: I arrived at The Mechanic's workshop at 12:55 The noise of a radio was coming from inside (it showed no signs of having been tampered with though). I checked round the front to gather more information and saw the Mechanic fleeing the scene. I gave chase, and after a high-speed pursuit round the Fitz grounds, I finally managed to catch and kill him.


[21:00 PM] Rufus Scrimgeour has a bulletin from the ministry
Rufus Scrimgeour reports:

style="font-size: 300%;"> Official Instructions

Date and time: 03/12/2013 at 22:00

Author:Rufus Scrimgeour, head of the Auror Office

Intended Recipient(s):All members of the Auror Office

Goals: The Auror Office is to protect the following people: Thomas Rychlik, Adam Beaumont, Cheryl L Weedon, Danielle Saunders, Hannah Lissaman.

Notes: It is believed that the dark forces are attempting to eliminate these 5 individuals, which will leave the ministry open to attack. We have managed to acquire a list of suspects (list 0918deng5e) which will allow us to be on the offence.

Recommended course of action: Capture or kill members of list 0918deng5e. Bodyguards will probably be a poor use of ministry resources so I do not recommend this.


[23:15 PM] RIP Blazer
Ron Weasley reports:

While making a ciruit of the grounds of our fine educational establishment with a member of teaching staff on the evening of the 4th, I noticed unexpected lights on in the Blantyre wing. I decided to slip in and investigate while my colleague finished making the rounds. Inside I came across a clandestine meeting of students, and seemly in nominal charge of this throng was the suspended pupil R. Laidlow. I slipped away without being noticed and proceeded to his room to see if he was indeed missing from it and in doing so implicitly confirm his identity. Upon entering his empty room I found on his bed, to my great shock, a dangerous device of the Dark Arts known as a NERF. In order to ensure the safety of the student body in general, I of course immediately confiscated the item and went to bring Laidlow before the Headmaster.

Sadly upon confronting him, he fled the scene of the clandestine meeting in a bid to reach his room. Guessing that he meant to use his artefact against me, I trailed him there and confronted him. After failing to retrieve the dangerous artefact I had confiscated, he made a move towards a second similar artefact concealed on top of his wardrode, and I had no option but to incapacitate him with his own confiscated item.

Given the circumstances Headmaster, I'm sure you will understand that I acted in the only way I could and that the path taken by events was the least worst outcome. Given the danger that members of our school have been placed in by the actions of this student, I can only recommend that his continuing position as a pupil of this school be considered in a very serious way.


Prefect R. Weasley

PS: No Gilderoy. Don't event think about claiming this one. I'm on to you...

Friday, 6 December

[00:00 AM] RIP Verb ,Tess Tickle, The Weaver, Blitz Crank, QB, Kim Jong-Unbelievable, Nobody, freddy c, Black Widow, Atlas, Pulvinar, Dr Zeus, Blabble, Weed Ramen, Rorschach.
The Weaver reports:

Alas, it is time for the Weaver to make his/her timely retreat back into the web of the home. Sadly, I must leave at this stage of the game, a distant memory left to drift away. I leave in place number 21, and wish to extent my particular congratulations to the ever-friendly Tess Tickle. Somewhat inert for the early life of the game, Tess Tickle suddenly sprang into action as the game reached its adolescence. And now, Tess Tickle has proven themselves a vital member of the game. Tess Tickle, the future fertility of St Catharine's chances in the game rest with you. Farewell, fellow plotters, we shall meet again!

The Weaver

QB reports:

"Meduka!" I said.

"QB." She paused, looking at me, "Must help everyone!" I stared at her, unblinking, a small smile on my face, tail swishing from side to side. "Must save Mumi, Seyiku... and Hameru."

She paused again, and took a breath. "So, I become meguca!" She shouted.

I kept staring at her.

"What you wish for?" I said.

"I wish... I wish meguca was not suffering!"

My eyes went wider than they were before.

"You undo Meduka! Not exist any more!"

"It okay." She replied, and turned to Hameru. "Hameru... rabu." Then, there was a flash of bright light, emanating from Meduka, and silence.


The world eventually came back... but everything had reset. I had no memory of merciless acts towards others, and no desire to initiate them. I trotted off to find Hameru, instead.

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