Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 1 News

Friday, 25 October

[10:00 AM] The game begins!

You want to know how many players there are?

Well, unfortunately this question and its answer are mutually exclusive in the same universe and if both are to be known the universe will be replaced by something more bizarre and inexplicable.

Go out and kill people!

[11:57 AM] First kill! Clyde, Ed Phillips stabbed to death by Radical Edward
Radical Edward reports:

Lesson! Outlaws are not to be trusted! Bounty acquired without target suspecting a thing until it was too late.

Clyde reports:

I have the unfortunate pleasure of detailing my early demise to you. Just after leaving a lab, I was pierced through the heart by the devious blade of Radical Edward.

[12:00 PM] curlybennett, Nicholas Bennett - known as Nick brutally stabbed in the back by Sully Kupiec-weglinski
Sully Kupiec-weglinski reports:

After taking a detour through the market to buy a weapon, I quickly hid the item, for fear that I was being followed. I wasn't. I arrived at the lecture hall early, but my target was not there. He arrived just before the lecture began, it was very tense. I wasn't sure if he knew that his hours were numbered, but I did. After a very interesting lecture on groups, I got up to leave. Fortunately, my target did so too. I made sure I was behind him as we walked out. Upon leaving, I followed him for a short while, and then, when the moment was true, I pulled my newly bought weapon from my bag, and stabbed him in the back. It was all over in a couple of seconds, but it felt like a very long time.

curlybennett reports:

Sully Kupiec-weglinski stabbed me in the back, with a knife, while we were leaving our lecture, while repeatedly crying out 'I'm Sorry!'. I didn't even get a chance to look my attacker in the eyes before I bled out on the floor :(

[13:00 PM] The Weaver makes a series of good attempts, however his target eludes the web.
The Weaver reports:

At 13:00, it all seemed so simple: weave a web of death for the nefarious target. It still seemed straightforward as I strolled towards my destination, with Rmy victims 'loom' carefully concealed within my backpack. Alas, my finely woven masterpiece had a loose thread, and I found my destination to be a wall of locked doors, denying my entrance. As no one was available to help, I quickly searched for an entrance before my entire work unraveled, but it was too late. All I had left to do was leave, while a porter watched from above, to make sure I was gone.

Once more, the Weaver began to work his loom of doom, but once more loose ends conspired to unravel the web. This time, two loose ends conspired with each other to thwart me! I set off for a new destination at 18:40, unaware of the other treacherous web in play: the streets of Cambridge. Carelessly strolling past my target location, as it was unmarked, I proceeded to wander aimlessly. It was only when a friendly sign presented itself, that I was able to get back on track. Tying off this loose end, my web was beginning to take shape! But the fibres of fate themselves were against me! My initial plan, due to the lateness of the hour, was to fire a shot through an open window, and destroy my poor target with my web of death! When I finally arrived at 19:15 however, the only open window was to the kitchen basement, where only an innocent dared to tread! Seeing that my marvellous web had become unraveled beyond repair, I reluctantly slunk back to my lair, ready to weave again should the gods present me with better luck.

Umpire's Note. The initial target Rosalyn, has now left the game, this will not be counted against the Weaver, but any further attempts made will. New targets are forthcoming.

[13:45 PM] A Deadly Siege:Blazer starves out and kills The lord of Muffins,Josh McQuail but get his accomplice killed in the process!
The lord of Muffins reports:

At 13:45 today I was attacked outside my room by three guys with nerf guns, a siege started, and a firefight broke out on my escape attempt. In the ensuing firefight I killed one, but was ultimately shot and Killed by Blazer. Umpire's Note: After consulting with the other parties it appears that the person who was shot was a non-player accomplice of Blazer's thus making him WANTED, especially so as his accomplice was armed. N.B. accomplices may not be armed or carrying visible weapons. They may carry weapons for their partner assassin in a concealed manner however.

Blazer reports:

The target had admirable defences set up which resulted in a prolonged siege of his room. With his room encamped he had no choice but to try and weather the assault. First he ate horses, then he ate the cats, then the dogs, then finally the rats. When he had no choice but to come out, an extended firefight ensued where his inferior Nerf Maverick fell short of the engineering mastery of my Strongarm. The target has been slain.

[14:45 PM] I think Joker may already have won the award for the coolest weapon by killing Luke Shirley with an exploding kitten...
Sierra reports:

I've been killed already! Death by attack animal (exploding kitten).

Joker reports:

Having loaded my adorable little pet kitten's food with liquid explosives this morning, we headed out on a little trip; only a teensy short one, see some places, meet new people, all that stuff. I only slightly killed someone; their name was just *too* good to make a joke from! Oh, sneaky sneaky tiptoes past the porters, past the cleaner, alll the way into the very corner of the college, right up to his staircase door; through subterfuge I obtained entrance, the JCR computing officer was so kind enough as to believe my worried acting. Creeping up, up, up, all the way to the top; the tension was killing me! I waited outside his door, thinking and thinking: I had to make a good impression, I had to show class and respect and hit it off right with him. Eventually I knocked on his door, holding up my card to his peephole. I didn't even need to, he opened the door without even checking that I was not a psychopathic loon. People these days need to be more paranoid, makes it too easy for us. I greeted him with "Surprise!", and sent poor little kitten straight at him. A direct hit - his head..*giggle*.. Exploded! Heehee, my kitten definitely went out with a bang. It's what she would have wanted I'm sure, nothing better than having a laugh at the end. I gave my sincere commiserations to the headless corpse, still dripping, and then went on my way to deliver a calling card to the next victim. I hope they'll be expecting me.

[15:00 PM] Brutality at the Boathouse,Farida Flanelle stabs Pseudonymous Bosch,Henry Coburn whilst looking for a friend.
Pseudonymous Bosch reports:

Got plugged by a sucka coming out of the boathouse. I am officially dead :(

Farida Flanelle reports:

As I wandered, looking for my lost lover, Adam P Goucher, I happened to walk past the Cam where he and I spent so many romantic moments together. My heart leapt as I spotted him staring mournfully into the murky depths. I cried out his name, but alas, as his deep soulless eyes met mine I realised this was not my love, but a truly forsaken creature: a rower. In a moment of despair, I shot Henry Coburn and continued my search for my dear Adam.

[16:00 PM] Athanata, Sarah Sheard, turns out not to be immortal when at the hands of MOC
MOC reports:

Just killed Sarah Sheard in [unspecified college] via knife attack.

Athanata reports:

Unfortunately dead at the hands of MOC via knife attack.

[18:23 PM] Termination of Caesar, Ralph Jordan by Laser
Laser reports:

I (Laser) was tracking the target around [unspecified college], before ambushing his path and terminating him with a single nerf jolt shot to the back of the neck. Only a single shot was fired during the confrontation.

[19:52 PM] Blunt and to the point: Battery Charger admits to the murder of Sanil Roy
Battery Charger reports:

I killed Sanil Roy at 19:52 this evening.

[20:00 PM] Total Commander managed to make himself wanted by killing an innocent, before almost dying to Killer Sheep
Total Commander reports:

A major tactical miscalculation took place, suitable investigations will follow. Finding my target within my college, I decided to quickly terminate him by means of a small projectile fired into his head. Said projectile, however, met a physical obstacle in the shape of an oblivious human shield standing in its trajectory, which hopelessly diverted it. As I couldn't reload in time, my target responded in kind and terminated me.

Killer Sheep reports:

At around half seven this evening, a group of friends had accumulated to go on, what they assumed, would be an uneventful trip to a restaurant. In a split second, Total Commander had run up the stairs to where we had congregated and drawn a gun at me. Before I could fully process what was happening, a shot had been fired at me. Unfortunately for him, and my latem innocent friend, his aim was not up to scratch, and Melanie was shot in the back of the neck. Luckily, I had my gun close to hand, cleverly disguised as a banana. I took one graceful step towards him and fired, taking his life, for the loss of my innocent friend's. Revenge is sweet.

Umpire's Note: As bang kills, such as shooting with a banana, do not count in combat and this was a combat situation, Total Commander having already fired a shot, Killer Sheep's kill does not stand. Total Commander is, however, wanted for killing an innocent!

[21:15 PM] Casual Killing, Mushu surprises Itachi,Taiyab Tarvala on his doorstep.
Mushu reports:

I accompanied by 3 people (there as interested observers) infiltrated undisclosed residence by the ingenious method of: walking through the open front gate. We then sauntered through the college to the target in questions building, and after entering the wrong building, being thwarted by a door with a keypad and eventually following another occupant of said building through the door we found the targets room. In the corridor outside his room were two people, and we walked past and hid round a corner. We then heard the two of them discussing their assassins involvement, and deduced that one was the correct victim. I had on my person a cardboard sword, but decided that this was too conspicuous to walk up to the target with, so kept it concealed and walked along the corridor to the target; upon reaching him drew my "knife" and stabbed him.

[22:00 PM] its Not Safe to Go Out!, Daud shoots funkychicken,Sudhir Balaji - known as Sud or Suddy on his doorstep as well.
Daud reports:

I killed him at 10pm on 25th October in a corridor near his room, using a bang gun at point blank range. Umpires Note: Brief and to the point...

[23:04 PM] Kitchen Killer: Maverick McGavin treats Kelsier,Joseph Holdsworth-Millerto the sharp end of a cookery lesson.

I made the long trek to the kitchen several corridors away to use their microwave, as our kitchen's microwave was brutally stolen this one time. @OneManWoolfPack for that great story. There he was sat, at the table, doing maths work. I had never seen him before (apart from the brief facebook stalk I had made this morning), so I gave him a curt nod. My dinner? Spinach canneloni, 3 for �?�£6 from Sainsburies. The instructions encouraged me to pierce the film and microwave it for 6 seconds. I looked in the draw and found a kitchen knife, and I proceeded to pierce the plastic film 6 times. Then I pierced my target 2 times in the chest.

Umpire's Note: This attack with an illegal weapon has resulted in Maverick McGavin going WANTED. Please do not use metal objects as Knives!

Saturday, 26 October

[12:00 PM] Breakfast Brawler, The Hooligan serves Allan Karlsson, Eleanor Hobson up for brunch
The Hooligan reports:

Having used my girlfriend to infiltrate the targets college, I made it for brunch. I felt it unlikely to see my target there, but had nonetheless crafted a knife from the finest cardboard in order to assassinate her. After a tense and broody brunch, I spotted my target, confirmed her identity with her unwitting friends and made my move. I swooped in, stabbed her in the back, and declared her to be assassinated, doing her the one honour of showing her my weapon as I swiftly escaped.

Allan Karlsson reports:

Unfortunately the account is true. Sadly I was brutally murdered in the eating hall which I had been tempted to by promises of chocolate frogs and the rare, endangered delicious every flavour bean. Stabbed in the back by a stranger who had been given the password to our sacred eating hall an unwitting accomplice. Many apologies from beyond the grave for the late reply, Reviving isn't what it used to be

[12:08 PM] Farida Flanelle killed Mona Lisa, Curtis Reubens whilst passing down the street.
Farida Flanelle reports:

This time I tried to corner my Adam P Goucher outside his favourite haunt. Sadly he was not to be found, so I took my revenge out on an unsuspecting victim, Curtis J Reubens. I'm sure the world will not mourn.

Mona Lisa reports:

Tragically, at a few minutes past midday I was shot to death just outside my college.

[13:40 PM] Dirty Double Cross, Bonnie slashes down Bantmaster , Sarah Sloss
Bonnie reports:

First kill complete. Merciless stabbing of Bant Master with a knife at 1.40pm, due to her wielding of a red gun in my presence. No one is safe.

Bantmaster reports:

Bonnie and I had agreed to work together but she killed me.

[15:00 PM] Short and Sweet: Gordon Freeman defended himself from assault by The Master, Jack Swanborough by shooting him down
The Master reports:

Unfortunately I have been killed by Gordon Freeman's elastic band gun, due to him being on alert after seeing other suspicious persons shortly before my arrival.

[16:20 PM] First Massacre: Blazer lives up to his name, gunning down Mai and Bonnie whilst they take on Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky
Bonnie reports:

I was killed by Blazer at 4.25pm via nerf gun. It was during the act of trying to save a life by brandishing a knife and stabbing Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky in the chest in the hope of stopping the two from assassinating my friend. Alas, I took the bitter bullet, after frantically trying but failing to run away. I did manage to kill Fran though. -Bonnie

Blazer reports:

At 'Undisclosed Location' I killed my target as well as the assassin by the pseudonym Bonnie who lived next door after she ran out and stabbed my colleague Fran to a nasty, bloody death.

Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky reports:

I died at about half four today, killed by bonnie whilst assisting a kill on another assassin

Mai reports:

It was brutal. I heard knocking,, and they wouldnt tell me who they were. I expected an assassin, so I called my neighbour (also an assassin) to check. There was the sound of a door opening and screams, followed by I killed you!. I assumed it would be safe to come out. Alas, I was grievously mistaken. I was shot twice in the chest and died a horrible death.

[16:40 PM] Second Battle: Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky and Blazer take out Punslinger and Astarael
Punslinger reports:

Astarael and Punslinger [me] were lounging around in the Fourth Precinct, when we were alerted to the presence of a nearby threat by a handy communique from a passing thrall of Astarael's. I slipped forward into the Fifth Precinct to retrieve a small and discreet needle dagger, and then poked my head back through the Fourth Gate to watch the proceedings. Fran, recently killed and resurrected as a Dead Hand, lurched through the Gate and brandished a gun at Astarael, whereupon I burst through and perforated him from behind. So freshly dead was he that I had not realised he was resurrected and that there would be a necromancer nearby; even as I gloated from above my corpse, I was ripped to shreds by a hail of bullets from Blazer. I fell, and the stream of deadly projectiles was turned on Astarael, who let out a piercing scream before the river took her. Blazer alone stood victorious as three bodies were pulled past to the Ninth Gate and beyond. Umpire's Note: It became clear that this event was precipitated by Fran charging in with a gun despite having died to Bonnie 20 minutes earlier. Unfortunately in this game the dead may walk, but they certainly don't pack any firepower. As the sequence of kills which occurred thereafter were precipitated by this unintentional rule breach, they have been annulled. Astarael and Punslinger are still in the land of the Living and Fran remains dead.

[16:49 PM] Deliberately Left Blank killed The Mad Hatter, Emily Tyler
Deliberately Left Blank reports:

Emily Tyler had the great misfortune to be few steps ahead of me as I approached her room at approximately 16:49. The result was a clear chance to ID her, and four shots from a rubber band gun delivered at point blank range as she hesitated in closing the door. Expended bands were recovered and (chocolate) coins left with the body to pay the Ferryman; our enemies deserve the respect we show our own. I gather she'd only just joined up - it's always a pity when one is sent after first-years - such potential and enthusiasm cut down in its prime - so sad. If our Master who art at Sidney deems such action necessary, then we will of course obey, and do so with resolve, but our quieter moments I hope we can still mourn the cost.

The Mad Hatter reports:

I was killed by a guy with an elastic band gun outside my room at 4:50pm today.

[16:58 PM] randolph carter stabbed Hubert,Guy Emanuel
Hubert reports:

I was assassinated this afternoon with a cardboard knife.

randolph carter reports:

I have just killed Guy Emanuel, confusingly not of said college. After being informed of his whereabouts by an accomplice, I walked into the room he was in, holding my cardboard knife in plain sight, and advanced towards him, saying his name out loud. He had time to look at me, confused, before I stabbed him in the chest, crumpling my dagger beyond further use and eliciting a shocked "S*~$!" Out of the target. One more servant of the Crawling Chaos who will never taint this world with his presence again. Sincerely, Randolph Carter

Monday, 28 October

[08:30 AM] Death stalks the streets, Kim Jong-Unbelievable takes out Chewbacca, John Cumner en route to lectures.
Kim Jong-Unbelievable reports:

At 8:40 this morning on my way to a lecture, I glimpsed my target ambling along happily in the opposite direction. Shaking slightly, I took a swig of chocolate milk from my hip flask and gripped my knife tightly. As he was passing, I started a hesitant conversation with him about a mutual friend. He agreed to pass on a message for me, but it would never arrive. The last words he heard as my knife plunged into his abdomen were "Jaime Lannister sends his regards."

[09:50 AM] Pulvinar takes down Redrum, Katherine Macfarland
Pulvinar reports:

Bang Killed the target outside lectures this morning.

[10:30 AM] Weed Ramen successfully cuts down Hachimaki, Max Baxter-Allen when he comes calling
Hachimaki reports:

Approaching the door of my target, I began opening the door, but he closed it, saying he just got out the shower. He asked me what I wanted, and thinking on my feet, I said I needed to check his radiator. I waited outside, nerf gun hidden inside my coat. When he opened the door, I brought out my gun and shot him, but alas he stabbed me a split second before I pulled the trigger. Obviously I'm going to need to come up with better ruses. Umpire's Note: It is against the rules to pretend to be an authority figure such as a bedder or maintenance person who requires access to someones room on a regular basis to avoid unnecessary conflict with college authorities. Please refrain from such ruses, but by all means develop methods more subtle.

Weed Ramen reports:

I had just gotten out of the shower when I received the knock. Foolishly I had left my door unlocked during these troubling times so the door gave away and opened. I slammed it shut and explained my current situation. As I put on my clothes I asked the guest who they were and what they were here for. They said they were here to 'fix my radiator'. Didn't quite get the metaphor, but my cunning samurai senses were aroused. I grabbed my knife and stared through the peephole to witness a man with his hands hidden down the inside his jacket clutching onto what appeared to be a gun. Foolish. At this close range the dexterity I have with my knife will outclass any gunslinger. I opened the door and with a swift lunge I pierced his heart just as he fired. Luckily Newtons 4th physical law which only existed in the world of assassin's came into effect as an arcane barrier surrounded me, shielding me from his bullet. I stared at my bleeding foe and asked 'Should we like... exchange CRSID's or something for the umpire?' With spluttered breath he said 'Nah, I'll email the umpire and you do the same' and with that his life force gave away.

[13:45 PM] Michelle killed Mr.Sainsbury's,Malko Sordo-de Cock - referred to as De Cock
Michelle reports:

Today at approximately 1.45pm, Blade, Lazer, Blazer, Michelle and accomplices bought our united strength to [unspecified college] as we hunted Michelle's target: Mr.Sainsbury's. We managed to locate his room, but alas no one was there, and my lookouts had not spotted any sign of the target. We had given up hope and were just leaving when, like a fart in the wind, Malko drifted through our midst on his way to his room, oblivious as to our intent. A swift nerf bullet to the chest from my Strongarm put him down before he got through his door, followed by 8 more nerf bullets from Blazer's Roughcut. We just couldn't bear to watch him suffer. The recently deceased Malko seemed mildly disappointed about his current ghostly state, with such dismayed cries as "do I email someone and about this?" and "huh? ...what? yeah ok". I hope he remembers to email you before all memories of his previous life slip away into the void.

Mr.Sainsbury's reports:

I was just killed.

[17:12 PM] The Joker's Riddles Continue, Joker spoons Jemsquidge, Sean Telford to death?
Jemsquidge reports:

Events: 17:13 - Killer enters my room , foolishly unlocked, and stabs me in the side with a sharpened spoon, causing me to die horrifically. 17:14 Pleasantries are exchanged and killer leaves room.

Joker reports:

Remember me saying I warned my next victim? Hee-hee, all lies! They can wait a little longer for a last laugh. I liked Churchill so much I slipped in again, armed with Very Pointy Spoon and Very Pointy Spoon Mk III (VPS Mk II failed me. We shall not be hearing from him again.) Gaining access to the staircase as before, I crept, silently, oh silently as a mouse with its mouth nailed shut, up to a promising looking room. Teehee, the door was not even shut! I danced in laughing, and it was over. So short.. I feel the night will get bloodier soon.

[18:05 PM] Preacher Casy dispenses the lords justice upon Stitch, Charlotte Daffern - known as Charlie
Stitch reports:

We sat with the team for half an hour having our first ever meeting (a generally friendly and productive time), then went to leave and as we walked down the corridor he turned around, apologised, then shot me square in the chest.

Preacher Casy reports:

Her response was 'oh no'.

[19:28 PM] Conquering your fear: Duchess shows there is no need to Be Afraid of Karan Gupta.
Duchess reports:

Five shots to the chest at point blank range, it was not a pretty sight.

[21:35 PM] Return of the exploding animals, Joker demolishes Scaley and another kitten!
Joker reports:

I did feel bad about leaving the target waiting for demise; clearly he's missing out! I gathered the scraps of poor kitten together and went to his door. There I espied a gentleman playing a video-box game through the window. Kind man I am, I let him finish before ringing the bell to summon him to his end. Alas! I had seen the wrong person, a neighbour. No matter; the real occupant was approaching down the street. I exploded him as he got out his keys.

[21:40 PM] No Mystery who Killed Liam Hammond, it had Blazer's signature all over it!
Blazer reports:

Blazer here. I am reporting the death of my latest poor victim sent to an untimely tomb, grave or mass burial site. After infiltrating [Undisclosed College] in such a manner that would make Solid Snake wet his breeches and a tense moment that required my best French to escape the night guards, the relevant staircase was located. I meditated for a while outside his room, finding my zen point. Then, quick Gilford the Lightning, I burst into his room finding him sprawled in a frazzled, pseudo-embryonic state. For a moment our eyes met, as if two star-crossed lovers were engaged in a vicious and brutal act of war. One shot was all it took. I pumped his body full of 6. As the mother of the night embraced him to her bosom for the final time, I repeatedly apologised for waking him up. Now he shall rest in pieces for all of eternity. I hope he remembers to email you before he passes into the afterlife.

Umpire's Note: No he didn't...

[22:10 PM] Mysterious Stains on the Paper: Rorschach spills the blood of Honey Badger, Alexander John Horne - known as Alex...
Rorschach reports:

Rorschach's Journal. October 28th, 2013: Dog carcass in alley this morning. Tire tread on burst stomach. The city is afraid of me. I have seen it's true face. Across street, boy's were defacing abandoned building. On way out of room met landlady. Usual complaints Re: Hygiene and Rent. (Mental Note: Stop sleeping at ... I don't even go there) Went into an undisclosed residence at 22:10- got wrong staircase. Made small talk with the people who lived there. They were having a brie party: crackers, cheese, flapjacks, the kind of luxuries reserved for freshers. I managed to convince them to invite the dastardly enemy over to sample the brie. He took some persuading by text message, but he eventually was enticed. He didn't know who I was, I reached out a hand and asked him his name. His doom was his love of flapjacks, and it was pointed out to him by the knife I plunged between his ribs instead of shaking his hand. Justice should have no mercy. Rorschach out.

Tuesday, 29 October

[00:21 AM] Police Brutality is not a thing of the past. Marietta sneak Edgecombe dispatches Maverick McGavin, Benjamin Redwood for being Wanted.
Marietta sneak Edgecombe reports:

It is my pleasure to report what i believe to be the first police kill. Buoyed by my appointment to the police not an hour before, I, Marietta Edgecombe, recklessly set off to target the criminal Maverick McGavin in far off regions. Having ascertained his location with a strategic use of veritaserum, I discovered that the Maverick lived up to his name, having left his door wide open. Forced to rely on crude muggle weaponry, i burst into his room and unloaded a hail of nerf darts into his face. All credit to my target, he graciously accepted his death, and even offered me tea! Sadly, the fates were not as kind as my victim, for when I returned to my bike I found it with a punctured tire, prompting a punishing walk home in which I may or may not have crossed several national boundaries.

[09:30 AM] second chance to get it right. Blazer finally finishes what he started with Punslinger, Patrick Stevens
Blazer reports:

Hello Umpire Another kill to report. At 9:30 this morning,an accomplice and myself, Blazer, lay in wait outside our target's house. By some chance we both had him as a target so decided to close the net on him from several directions. It seemed as though there was no way to escape. There was not. It's rare you get the chance to kill someone twice in the same game, but there you go.

Punslinger reports:

I was leaving my humble abode to go to Advanced Wordsmithy, when I was ambushed right outside my front door by a gun-wielding madman. I was perforated in four places, and expired forthwith from my wounds without even a chance to formulate a final quip. To my would-be rescuers, who arrived but ten seconds too late: do not mourn me.

[10:30 AM] Darren Koh, Felicia Clara Jun Hui Tan - known as FCT left the safety of the society and was killed by QB
QB reports:

Out for a nice evening with societies... that's where it started. Keeping close watch on my target, I waited for my opportunity. It was to come, but not as I expected. I had relaxed my watch, and had left the room momentarily. Walking down the corridor, I ran straight into my target coming the other way. Casually, I asked her name, and upon this confirmation that she was certainly the target I had been hunting, with lightning speed I flashed out my knife, and stabbed her in the ribs. With no witnesses to my crime, I stalked away into the night. CONTRACT TERMINATED.

[13:11 PM] The Blade strikes true into the heart of Total Commander's command
Blade reports:

Sweet mother, sweet mother. Send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptised in blood and fear. Justice has been done this day. I (Blade) have smote the indiscriminate murderer, a dagger to the left kidney sealed his fate and he tumbled into the sea of sweet oblivion.

[20:40 PM] Battery Charger'd down the opposition, Battery Charger shock kill of El Pistolero,Izhan khan - known as Izy
Battery Charger reports:

Earlier this evening while attending a Society talk, I saw my target a mere two seats away. Realising that society talks were out of bounds I stewed in self-loathing at a great missed opportunity to catch him walking in. While the talk went on I planned my murder to the T, finally when the talk came to an end I made my exit, waiting for him to make his way out. I stood in the cold for 10 minutes faking a call, surreptitiously waiting around a corner. Finally he walks by, talking to a friend of mine. I immediately grabbed this opportunity and greeted my friend with the warmth only felt before a brutal murder. The 3 of us began walking towards their college. Aware that the rules stated a minimum of 5 minutes after the end of the society before a kill, I bided my time with meaningless chat. Finally an opportune moment arose and he was stabbed to heart, fatally. RIP

El Pistolero reports:

I have indeed been murdered; and quite possibly deceived by my own college daughter! I was walking back from an evening talk with my college daughter and her friend, as we parted ways I was brutally stabbed and left to die on the pavement.

Wednesday, 30 October

[10:00 AM] Kaminin goes a whole lecture just to kill You choose one,Devang Agrawal

[11:00 AM] Just How Radical is Edward? Enough to take out Blade,Miles Fan
Blade reports:

Alas, alak. In my hungover state I have fallen outside my lectures. The only silver lining to my death was that I was able to enjoy my flapjack before I died. I maintained my dignity the entire time, my last words as Radical Edward plunged his dagger into my chest were: "You b~?#@%*!".

[13:30 PM] The Fast Lurker lives up to its name and takes out Cottonmouth
The Fast Lurker reports:

At 1.30pm today, I killed my target. She had left her room open, so I rushed inside, but was momentarily confused as there were two people in the room, however, she gave herself away by her reaction to my appearance and so I swiftly dispatched her by means of my Attack Penguin.

Cottonmouth reports:

Today I was killed. Only moments earlier I had been showing my friend my intended weapon, a pistol-sized nerf gun, which I would use in that night's intended 'hunt'. I put the gun back down on the chair and went and sat on the sofa, door wide open, to paint my nails as I talked with my friend. It was the first time I had left my door open since assassin's began; I had thrown caution to the wind this afternoon, hyped up on roasted pumpkin seeds, feeling fearless, untouchable though earlier that day I had locked my door even to pop to the loo just downstairs. Serendipitously, my door was wide open and, suddenly, a stranger was in my room. I knew immediately what was about to happen (though my friend seemed rather confused).. I glanced at my pistol 2 metres away knowing there was no way I would reach it in time, especially since I had a bottle of nail polish open, mid-application. I let out a tepid 'bang bang' as my hand took a pistol shape.. not totally recalling whether 'finger guns' were legal but figuring they probably weren't.. regardless, my finger gun was shoddily aimed and I 'missed'. He looked right at me, clearly he had seen my Facebook profile in the hours before I had gone to all the antisocial pains to make myself invisible.. and bam, a rather cuddly looking penguin landed in my lap. "Attack penguin." It was over. Gone were the days of constantly looking over my shoulder moving to and from lectures. Thank goodness.. they were gone. My friend and I asked after his details. "Have you killed anyone else?," I asked. "No, you were my first." Aw well.

[13:35 PM] Atlas incurs the wrath of the gods by sending Preacher Casy, John James William Fenton - known as Jamie to meet his maker
Atlas reports:

John James William Fenton eliminated.

Preacher Casy reports:

NIA appeared in front of my accommodation, engaged me in conversation and then lunged at me with a sharpie. An attempted dodge had me sprawled on the floor at which I was brutally stabbed. Congratulations were issued and the parting was amiable.

[18:30 PM] Attempt by Gordon Freeman on Not Joe, in which Gordon Freeman ends up wanted!
Gordon Freeman reports:

Attempt: Failed, he was too paranoid. A friend outside he asked to describe me and say where I was, I took him therefore as an accomplice and shot him.

Not Joe reports:

But maybe an hour ago, a man known only as 'the guy in a bicycle helmet that said he was a mathmo' came to my door with the intention to take my life. After his initial failure to open my locked door, I presumed he had left, only for him to reappear when I opened my door to the innocent Ben. I did not see my attackers face before I quickly shut the door and hence asked the innocent Ben what he looked like, before he was callously gunned down by my still present attacker. Whether Ben became an accomplice to myself (as my attacker claimed) through the brief description he gave, is unclear in my mind, but I do vow that his heartless murder shall not go unavenged!

The Umpire decrees: The innocent was not actively accomplicing, so Gordon Freeman has become Wanted for murdering an innocent!

[19:00 PM] The dealiest game! Who knew that Origami arsenal, Harriet Meredith would get killed by Tarquinius Superbus over it?
Tarquinius Superbus reports:

I've game-killed Harriet Meredith with a banana-gun while she was playing chess in her room. She did not resist (her gun was out of reach). We had a short relaxed chat afterwards.

Origami arsenal reports:

I was killed by Tarquinius Superbus.

[19:55 PM] Selenia strikes down Fedorphinn,Lewis Parker
Selenia reports:

The nun-chuck knocked him down on the first attempt, but just in case he was additionally stabbed in the back with a knife.

Thursday, 31 October

[08:54 AM] State sponsored Murder, The Croatian National Guard sinks Nautical Nebby dreams of winning
The Croatian National Guard reports:

I loitered, awaiting my target. He arrived at 0854. I waited for him to turn his back, then promptly despatched him with a swift cut to the jugular. There were no witnesses, and he took it remarkably well. Yours efficiently, The Croatian National Guard.

Nautical Nebby reports:

The morning of Halloween, 2013. A carefree boy on crutches was making his way towards that pit of despair, a lecture. Suddenly, the promising future that this boy had ahead of him was obliterated when a mean-spirited man, whom the boy had noticed on his phone outside, slashed the boy across the throat with a knife, as he queued to get into the lecture room. It is taken as read that the boy died instantly, and never knew the identity of his killer, who escaped to continue to wreak havoc upon the town of Cambridge - Halloween lovers, beware!

[09:25 AM] Stripey Mongoose is a vicious predator, no matter how subtle the Silent Sneaker may be
Silent Sneaker reports:

Today, I was murdered. I was leaving my room to go to the UL to return some books, what I thought would an uneventful escapade. There was someone walking parallel to me, I thought nothing of it.But suddenly heard rushed footsteps behind me and before I knew it, I was stabbed in the back with a knife.

[12:05 PM] Gordon Freeman ensures he's Not Dave any more.
Not Dave reports:

I am afraid to report I am dead, at the hands of the same scoundrel who killed the innocent. I am still unsure of his name, but am told he is on the wanted list. I only hope that justice is swift; he was so young, he did not deserve the cruel fate that met him on that ominous day when he knocked on my door to ask if I had done question 13 on the example sheet.

[17:50 PM] The Mandarin, Laurence Gribble is the next in Gordon Freeman's bid to redeem himself
Gordon Freeman reports:

Smug boast to umpire: 2ND LICIT KILL! Found him hiding in another room and shot him repeatedly.

Umpire's Note: Well done, it's not many who survive the wanted list. Congratulations you're a free being.

Now please pick up your e-mails and take me off the wanted list before I go to hall because otherwise its all that effort for nothing.

Umpire's Note: The pleading didn't really hurt his cause either....

[18:30 PM] Rufus Scrimgeour attempts to deal justice upon Gordon Freeman just after he made his second licit kill
Rufus Scrimgeour reports:

Activity report

Date and time: 31/10/2013 at 18:30

Operatives: Rufus Scrimgeour

Mission: Capture or kill the wanted criminal known as Gordan Freeman

Status: Failed

Casualties: Rufus Scrimgeour will need to spend some time at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries to recover from chest wounds

Detailed Report: Tracked the criminal down to his home in [location redacted]. Lay in ambush for him. Had brief duel which incapacitated me. Subject was weilding a weapon with some kind of gravity-modifying enchantment.


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