The Assassins' Guild - Week 4 News
The Assassins' Guild - Week 4 NewsI floated down to dinner from the window on the second floor and spotted the incompetent player Tom Grant. I sent him to the afterlife.
Oskari Timgren (CHU), 22:30, bang-kill. I guess he has learned a lesson - carry a weapon with you all the time, even when you're coming back from the shower. Winston Tan (CHU), 22:42, bang-kill. Don't open the door to strangers.
This evening at around 2235 I had just finished having a relaxing shower and was returning through the corridor to my room (shared shower) as I ran into two unknown gentlemen. Said gentlemen enquired me whether I might have information on the whereabouts of the occupant of room Q. Indeed I did as I am that occupant. Thus I found myself in a most awkward position: discussing with a pair of potential murderers whilst wearing nothing but a towel. Fear aside, for I came up with a genius rescue plan of answering 'Sorry, no' and walking, with my back facing the bloodthirsty assassins, straight to my door. Not surprisingly this plan ended in catastrophe as I was shot in the back after taking about 2 steps. As I lay in a growing pool of my own blood, the assassin told me: 'Tell the Devil Blabol sends his regards.' P.S. I really regret not showering with my gun now...
============================================= INTERNAL E-MAIL: FOR UMBRELLA CORP. EYES ONLY ============================================= RE: Failed tests in the Z-Virus This is worrying. I am starting to get obsessed with the minor details of the virus. Even I see it now. My colleagues have been trying to get me to take a break for the last 2 weeks now, but my latest creation is a laser-sighted weapon that uses genetic code as a targeting system, allowing me to vanquish any annoyances. They were breaking my concentration and I still believe that they deserved to die, but I see now what they saw: I can no longer be trusted with the Z-Virus for Umbrella Corporation. I have written to the Board of Trustees and asked for the project to be moved to a different division. Anyway, I had spent so long in my lab, I had neglected the testing side of my endeavours. My first target was named qt3.14, a veritable hideaway with a worrying obsession with YouTube videos. Now I'm all for the spread of technology and the progress of man (well, not unless it stops the progress of zombie-kind), but this recent trend of videos of awful felines and annoying children playing foolish video games for others' amusement just makes me despair and wish for the days of Brunel, Fleming and Klaus Wulfenbach. His abode was easy to find but difficult to gain access to. It was an interesting visit, but the fact that he shared a room made simply knocking and shooting the man that came to the door an impossibility. I waited for him to arrive (after researching his vital statistics) but he was not forthcoming. I then moved onto TheMagician, a frankly imposing Swedish ex-soldier, now working for a mercenary group called LANDEC INDUSTRIES. Using my contact in the military, Jack Krauser, I was able to gain access to where he was being lectured. I have no idea what for - presumably something banal. However, he was not there or I simply made the mistake of missing him. Ah well, at least this project is out my hands now. Speak of the devil *chuckles* - here come the extraction team now! .................................................. NO. THEY WILL NOT TAKE MY CREATION. I WILL END THEM. ALL THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE NAME OF ALBERT WESKER. ===================== END OF INTERNAL EMAIL =====================
It's dangerous to live out in the wilderness on your own, especially for a little old lady like Ms Terry. Indeed, it wasn't long before Bolg, Son of Azog, Lord of Gundabad, found her little hut as he was marching across the wilderness with his platoon of heavily armoured orc warriors. The orcs were delighted. They hadn't had any food for the last week , apart from maggotty old bread. Poor Ms Terry was butchered and made into a soup while her little hut was set ablaze. Once the orcs had had their fill, Bolg gave the order to keep marching. There were still many leagues in between them and the Lonely Mountain. The journey would not be easy since the elves were now aware of their mission and would probably be waiting somewhere in the forest to ambush them. Once they held Erebor, Bolg decided he would have the trees cut down.
Yet another day passes today with the foul beast known as The Soup Dragon still guarding her treasure of soup, which is rightfully mine. So far this dragon has evaded me in every attempt to seize her life, but one day I shall find out her weak spot and when I do she shall no more terrorise the people of UNSPECIFIED COLLEGE and her soup will return to my possession!
Early this morning I crept into the lair of the incompetent fiend known as The Hooded One in order to put an end to his life. Unfortunately, his field of expertise is not one of those which requires early mornings, so my long wait was in vain.
I just wanted to make some delicious froglet soup so today I followed someone into the caves occupied by Irishman X. After locating his dwelling I knocked, but alas he did not emerge. His neighbour however walked out of the next dwelling and immediately started using one of those communication devices which recently fell from space. Since froglets are well known to collaborate with each other I decided to retreat to a less obvious position. There is only so long you can stare at the walls of an unfamiliar soup cave before you start to miss your own so, with a heart full of disappointment, I left.
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