The Assassins' Guild

[13:59 PM] First blood! Matthew Butler (Wally) made a real Wally of himself after qt3.14 got him on his second attempt

[14:17 PM] Christian Greer has attacked the umpire!

[17:30 PM] Plan your kills in advance? No! A Random Strategy is used to kill Luke Out (Aarushi Bajaj)

[18:30 PM] Finales Funkeln goes hunting with Prima Luce. The Karmanator and Pyromaniac end up dead, but they don't quite get the triple kill

[18:43 PM] Double kill! The Surgeon (John Darlison) is unable to patch himself up but takes Prima Luce (Patrick Stevens) with him

Sunday, 27 January

[00:20 AM] More bloodshed: Ray Leane kills Lucius Fox (Namir Asmar)

[03:46 AM] Solid Snake fails to catch anyone in his strike

[03:48 AM] The power of the dark side failed Darth Revan as he caught neither Shemming's Butler nor Nondeterministic Machine Gun

[15:51 PM] Ray Leane continues his campaign by killing Stephen Hobbs (Spyro) with a lightsaber

[15:57 PM] Rob Laidlow (Ray Leane) was laid low by Nondeterministic Machine Gun in an attempt gone wrong!

Monday, 28 January

[10:31 AM] super hans bumps off Wakawaka (Mary Dai)

[15:13 PM] ghetts gets The Village Mafioso (James (Jamie) Braidley) at lectures

[15:14 PM] HAL OGEN avenges The Village Mafioso by killing ghetts (Rahul Sharma)

[15:25 PM] Yog-Sothoth catches an unsuspecting Terry Ball (Csaba Katai)

Tuesday, 29 January

[12:15 PM] Solid Snake successfully dispatched Professor Ricecake (Josh Kirklin)

Wednesday, 30 January

[10:15 AM] The Rat Man (Tristan Roberts) gets stabbed. Good plan, Batman!

[11:52 AM] You can't catch The Invisible Man, Total Commander!

[11:54 AM] TheMagician has no trouble making Wicket W Warrick (Izhan Khan) disappear

[12:28 PM] Ashrak dies to Possibly Brunch. Possibly.

[12:34 PM] Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain survives another assault as The Sad Mafioso disables but doesn't kill!

[14:15 PM] Ashrak misses out on catching Pineapples are tasty

[14:25 PM] Someone fails to gain entry to Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain's fortress

Thursday, 31 January

[10:10 AM] Early bird catches the worm! Teppic kills Crackle (Sara Robson) at lectures.

[12:00 PM] The Hassassin takes out Anil Manji (Henry St Leger-Davey)

[12:02 PM] Double kill for Darth Revan!

[12:18 PM] Finally, The Surgeon makes an effort against our wanted player, The Jellyfish is slippery

[12:21 PM] Snow kills the evil Cruella de Vil AKA Hunter of fur & bounty & treasure & humans alike

[12:22 PM] Ardipithecus Ramidus breaks into a Slot Machine

[12:31 PM] Leonardo dies a terrifying, zombified death at the hands of Albert Wesker

Friday, 1 February

[10:16 AM] Pikachu gets stabbed. It's super-effective!

[12:04 PM] Foxtail proves too elusive for Catherine de Medici today.

[12:08 PM] Aneurin John 'Nye' Redman-White attacks The Trollrus while OOB! Aneurin John 'Nye' Redman-White is wanted!

[12:12 PM] An attempt for competence backfires for Hannah Lissaman (Catherine de Medici)!

[12:15 PM] Pineapples are tasty but not very good at finding Tungsten

[13:23 PM] Commander Keen is definitely keen, unlike his hunter's instinct!

[18:00 PM] Mr Fluffybuns runs from Raging Manatee

[19:26 PM] cereleste fails to catch Mr Gumby

Saturday, 2 February

[01:15 AM] PseudoTron4000 can't track down superlopuh

[09:42 AM] Havelock Vetinari is unable to outwit AugustinIsADeadChildWalking

[13:10 PM] The Trollrus mauls The Ninjew Matzo (Aneurin John 'Nye' Redman-White)

[13:30 PM] Total Commander court-martials solo halo and HAL OGEN. solo halo (Devang Agrawal) is executed!

[14:20 PM] Mr Gumby flees from The Soup Dragon's lair...

[15:10 PM] Mr Gumby can't find either of his targets

[20:06 PM] Another attempt on Mr Gumby

[21:30 PM] The Surgeon excises the incompetents Jack Nine off Suit (James Robbs) and The Poison Dart (Joey Nelson)

Sunday, 3 February

[00:10 AM] Allan Karlsson can't find Jimmy Saville MkII or Mr Fluffybuns

[13:45 PM] Ms Terry makes mincemeat of Benjamin Redwood (Maverick McGavin)

[14:00 PM] The incobash! Except only two of you turned up... you all suck! (Apart from Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain and Random Strategy, you guys are cool)

[14:33 PM] Mr Gumby (Joshua Hunt) and Mr Fluffybuns (Raymond Wright) double kill

Monday, 4 February

[10:38 AM] The Sad Mafioso should look on the bright side. After all, he caught Batman (Sahr Jalil)

[11:11 AM] Irishman X has slain Helen Smith (The Nettled Neanderthal)! Irishman X has slain Oliver Terrett (Ollie) (Porridge-Henry)! Irishman X double kill!

[13:10 PM] AugustinIsADeadChildWalking? Really? Because I thought he (Blabol) just killed you, Ilya Manyakin!

[13:18 PM] Irishman X has slain Alice Hobbs (Susan DeNom)! Irishman X killing spree!

[14:48 PM] The Hassassin bumps off the incompetent Captain Ric (Henry Miller)

[18:10 PM] Darth Revan strikes again! Louis Longley (Uncle Known) is dead

[20:00 PM] Ram Sarujan (SJ39) dies during A gentle spooning

[22:05 PM] Irishman X has slain Maria Ivanova Gorinova (Foxtail)! Irishman X is on a rampage!

[23:41 PM] Solid Snake (Adam Beaumont) takes down Snowy (Rudi Mears), dying in the process

Tuesday, 5 February

[00:05 AM] The force is strong with this one... Darth Revan executes James Douglas Dean McAulay (Braveheart)

[20:30 PM] Psycho Mantis catches Rosanna O'Keefe (Ardipithecus Ramidus)

Wednesday, 6 February

[13:55 PM] Random Strategy takes out rivals David Wallis (Raging Manatee) and James Lindsey-Jones (Dancing Cabbage)

[14:01 PM] Zack Hassan (The Hassassin) falls to Possibly Brunch

[14:30 PM] More subjects for Albert Wesker: this time Tom Norris (The Invisible Man) is the unlucky one

[18:45 PM] Yog-Sothoth goes hunting, but fails to catch PseudoTron4000

Thursday, 7 February

[10:04 AM] A vicious Teeth-related death for Eleanor Brug (cereleste)

[10:50 AM] The Trollrus impales Vamsee Bheemireddy (Darth Revan)

[15:00 PM] Bolg, son of Azog the Defiler, Lord of Gundabad scavenges the deceased Ram Sarujan

[18:21 PM] Total Commander court-martials Nick Lynn (super hans)

[20:00 PM] Run away, it's The Soup Dragon! Oh, you all already did.

Saturday, 9 February

[16:01 PM] The Trollrus crushes Eleanor Loukes (Teeth)

Sunday, 10 February

[15:32 PM] qt3.14 1 out of three... will do? At least you got James Brown (Jimmy Saville MkII)

[18:28 PM] The Surgeon kills Tom Flynn (HAL OGEN). Can't have been a very good one, then

Monday, 11 February

[18:00 PM] A Random Strategy is too unpredictable for Nathan Smith (Shemming's Butler)

Tuesday, 12 February

[10:00 AM] Possibly Brunch is definitely dead. Irishman X kills Hannah Vandersluis

[10:33 AM] Another unsuccessful attempt on PseudoTron4000

[10:47 AM] Pineapples are tasty, but Albert Wesker is merciless. Unlucky, Yu She.

[11:30 AM] Revan redeems himself from the darkside, killing inco Kiara de Kremer (Krem-Fresh)

Wednesday, 13 February

[10:39 AM] Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain can't seem to catch The Soup Dragon. Perhaps you need a burglar?

Thursday, 14 February

[10:44 AM] Getting dwarves like Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain to leave their mountains is hard, as The Sad Mafioso should know!

[18:45 PM] Trollsaurus tramples Tom Milligan (Teppic)

[19:00 PM] The Trollrus out-murders Hanna Tame (Mr Teatime)

Saturday, 16 February

[14:50 PM] The Soup Dragon does a flyby, but can't make out superlopuh

[20:30 PM] Havelock Vetinari brings down Emily Room (The Trollrus)

Sunday, 17 February

[18:00 PM] Random Strategy has its flaws: you don't know who you'll hit... we have a new wanted player!

Thursday, 21 February

[18:31 PM] The Hooded One's room gets Stormed

[22:27 PM] Blabol gets a double kill. Winston Tan (Commander Keen) Oskari Timgren (Snow) and have fallen.

Friday, 22 February

[12:04 PM] Albert Wesker can't pin down either TheMagician or qt3.14

[18:40 PM] Bolg, son of Azog the Defiler, Lord of Gundabad devours poor Ms Terry (Ms Terry)

Saturday, 23 February

[15:38 PM] Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain really isn't very good at catching dragons. Especially not The Soup Dragon

Monday, 25 February

[10:00 AM] Dwarves like Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain do breathe very loudly, don't they The Hooded One. No wonder you weren't caught.

[15:51 PM] The creeping death has caught up with those too lazy to sate its hunger... and they number more than the database will put in a headline. May they serve as an example to you all.

Wednesday, 27 February

[18:15 PM] The Soup Dragon flies forth again, but Irishman X is warned in time

Thursday, 28 February

[09:39 AM] The Wizard of Odds is looking for A gentle spooning. Anyone want to give The Wizard of Odds A gentle spooning?

Friday, 1 March

[15:30 PM] The Soup Dragon craves A gentle spooning, but can't quite seem to find one...

[22:01 PM] Albert Wesker snares another victim. This time it's Ben Fraser (Irishman X)

Saturday, 2 March

[17:30 PM] Allan Karlsson slips through Oswell E. Spencer's fingers...

Monday, 4 March

[11:41 AM] Bastila fails to bring down TheMagician. Not much of a Jedi then...

[16:33 PM] *Mournful whistling noises*. Cheryl Weedon (The Soup Dragon) has been infected by Albert Wesker

[22:40 PM] A gentle spooning is not for everyone! We have another wanted player. Make more of an effort than last time, please!

Tuesday, 5 March

[17:29 PM] Random Strategy gives Sam Twist (A gentle spooning) the spooning he craves

[23:08 PM] Revan has returned. Max Baxter-Allen (qt3.14) is slain.

Thursday, 7 March

[19:28 PM] HK-47 has located and terminated organic element Lorenzo Venturini (Total Commander). Stupid meatbag.

Friday, 8 March

[11:36 AM] Albert Wesker can't catch either Random Strategy or TheMagician

[12:01 PM] Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain sallies forth from his mountain... and kills nobody

Saturday, 9 March

[17:45 PM] Oswell E. Spencer has infected Eleanor (Elly) Hobson (Allan Karlsson)

Sunday, 10 March

[15:10 PM] TheMagician can't seem to get many volunteers...

Monday, 11 March

[11:52 AM] The second bolting!

Tuesday, 12 March

[17:45 PM] AugustinisStillaDeadChildWalking. Apparently. He looks pretty alive to me though...

Friday, 15 March

[15:44 PM] In an epic duel, Augustin Zidek emerged triumphant. There followed a desperate police battle, during which the defenders of light were slain and the galaxy was doomed to a thousand years of darkness and oppression. Oh well. Thanks everyone for playing!

The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

Thursday, 24 January

Saturday, 26 January