13:15, I leave a lecture, very wary, and talking with an upstanding member of our Police force (PC Bri Bubble), he expresses surprise at my paranoia, and registers slight concern when I move towards the cafeteria, rather than heading straight home.
13:20, I retrieve my bike from it's unlikely storage location (the real reason I went towarsd the cafeteria), and head home - by an unusual route.
13:29, I approach my college - thinking as I do that the bike shed would make a good place to ambush me.
13:30, I round the corner to the door to my bike shed, to see Ed Noakes standing there, looking relatively relaxed - we freeze briefly, then I drop my bike, and run back around the corner - drawing two pellet guns as I go. A porter emerges, and departs. I move forwards. A short exchange of fire ensues, in which I lose my right arm, and most of the ammo in one gun. I retreat to cover, just out of his range from his cover - as we quickly discover.
13:35, Still both in cover, with me running low on ammo, and debating retreat to my room, for more guns - finally a shot hits (his location is in range, but my left arm is inaccurate, and there's wind - I have also dodged a couple of carrots by this point). As he looks around, uncertain, a bullet falls from the crook of his left arm, which is now disabled.
13:36, I press my advantage, and manage to trap him in cover with us both firing around a corner, about 3m apart. I feit rushes several times, and take potshots at him with two of my remaining three shots.
13:37, Finally one of my feits produces a stream of water which stops abruptly, so I rush him, as he is trying to pump one-handed, and shoot him in the chest at near point-blank, with my final shot.
It turns out that he was trying to pretend to run out of water, so I would rush him, but he got unlucky, and actually ran out at that moment - to his (brief) surprise.
After picking up the blood stained bundle that had been thrown through
the main gate, a porter came back into Magdalene plodge, carrying Big
John's bullet-proof vest in his hand. Several shocked students were
watching, when he unwrapped it; there was tin of Beluga wrapped
inside together with a note saying:'From Russia with love.'
Clearly shaken the porter explained to the bystanders:'A Russian message:
Big John sleeps with the fishes.'
I'm really quite proud of this, it's a recipe for a Jamaica Ginger Cake Bomb.
NB My only disappointment was that I wasn't able to use this ginger cake bomb on Paul Hickford, but as he says "There's always next term!"
I saw a cake in my pigeonhole: as I have no generous friends, I suspected a trap, sent an associate to get duct tape and string, taped the duct tape lightly to the cake, stood a number of metres away, and pulled the string. A musical sound confirmed my suspicions, but I survived. Nice cake though, thanks.
Main Page | Other news 13th | 14th | 15th | 16th | 18th | 19th | 20th | 21st | 22nd | 23rd | 24th | 25th | 26th | 27th | 28th | 29th | 30th | 31st | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th | 8th | 9th | 10th | 11th | 12th | 13th | 14th | 15th | 16th | 17th | 18th | Last updated at 17:52 on 18/11/01.