The Assassins' Guild

[23 Nov, 23:40 PM] And the final twist before the curtain falls - M AKA The-Witch-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named AKA Sorry for the lack of a proper published report because I spent all the time writing the amusing factual report which I am not publishing but feel free to request it once the game is over because 1) it contains too much identifying information 2) it is sadly not themed (Dongxue (Emily) Zhang) swears revenge on Jareth (Valentin Foley), but it's Rumpelstiltskin who wins this hand

[23 Nov, 10:00 AM] Rumpelstiltskin is between a rock and a hard place

New on Monday, 3 December

[30 Nov, 10:00 AM] The final Duel! Samuel (Sam) Sully AKA Merlin emerges as this game's victor

[24 Nov, 00:00 AM] And so comes the storm! Farewell to squigglysquids (Pei Zhen See), Bruh-cat (Li Xin), Nevar (Samuel Gutteridge), Alex (Alex Thomas), Lucinda (Lucinda Hobden), Cherry Pie (Xin Ru (Cheryl) Jiang), Anne Oldman (Hannah Vandersluis), The Butterfly Effect (Twm Stone), and finally You Tolkein to me? (Colin Kaljee)

[23 Nov, 12:55 PM] A dastardly double-kill on the final day - neither Garfield the Deals Warlock (Alex Allen) nor Axl N' Rose (Xinyao (April) Liu) will live to see the thunderstorm

New on Friday, 23 November

[23 Nov, 19:30 PM] Merlin looks back and laments

[20 Nov, 10:00 AM] A deal falls through for Rumpelstiltskin

[22 Nov, 16:40 PM] Rumpelstiltskin's silver words can't coax Merlin out of his chambers

[21 Nov, 01:00 AM] Rumpelstiltskin passes an interesting night

[22 Nov, 13:05 PM] Axl N' Rose tries to kill Merlin in a place of learning, goes Wanted for the THIRD TIME

[22 Nov, 08:45 AM] M does the world a favour, ridding it of the vexatious Alder Skrilth AKA Deathmaster AKA Patient Man (Andrew Darby)

[21 Nov, 11:00 AM] It's all over for Lord Farquaard AKA Jelly (Yuhang Xie), as Merlin makes a dash for the prize

New on Thursday, 22 November

[21 Nov, 18:30 PM] Alder Skrilth thinks he can take the moral high ground, but Bambi (Will De Vivo) still dies

[19 Nov, 09:03 AM] Rowena Ravenclaw AKA Ravenclaw the Purifier (Shaun Vickers) plots an ambush on Lord Farquaard, but it all goes terribly wrong

[21 Nov, 13:00 PM] There's no escape for Arthur Dent (Freddie Poser) when Axl N' Rose comes calling

New on Tuesday, 20 November

[20 Nov, 19:30 PM] A lament from Alder Skrilth

[19 Nov, 16:00 PM] A mildly concerning missive from Sorry for the lack of a proper published report because I spent all the time writing the amusing factual report which I am not publishing but feel free to request it once the game is over because 1) it contains too much identifying information 2) it is sadly not themed

[18 Nov, 11:00 AM] Axl N' Rose clashes with Lord Farquaard - no-one dies, but a little more force is used than is necessary

[18 Nov, 09:00 AM] Red Riding Hood searches the Labyrinth from top to bottom

[19 Nov, 13:00 PM] A valiant effort from Sorry for the lack of a proper published report because I spent all the time writing the amusing factual report which I am not publishing but feel free to request it once the game is over because 1) it contains too much identifying information 2) it is sadly not themed

[19 Nov, 22:15 PM] Grumf, the Three-eared attempts to kick off the Police War with two very illicit kills on the non-warring Zack Attack (Zarya Oh) and Gerblerb the Gerblin (Lisa She-Yin)

[19 Nov, 23:40 PM] Garfield the Deals Warlock takes down frontrunner Haruto Amo AKA Emma Milstein AKA Roxas AKA Arthur Pendragon AKA The Shadow Broker AKA A clumsy magician in training AKA Wall Shadow (Andrew Browne)!

[19 Nov, 16:03 PM] Haruto Amo eliminates Aisling O'Loughlin (Freddy Bergmann)

[17 Nov, 19:00 PM] Rumpelstiltskin deals in secrets

[19 Nov, 13:00 PM] Is Merlin a certain time-travelling Earthling in disguise? Either way, Agrajag the Mostly Harmless (Sean Gebbett) has had this life taken from him

New on Monday, 19 November

[18 Nov, 20:00 PM] Barry Bluejeans is absolutely playing it cool

[18 Nov, 15:15 PM] Lyra Viria snoops around

[18 Nov, 10:15 AM] squigglysquids takes a stab at the corpse of Savage (Nida Pathan)

New on Saturday, 17 November

[16 Nov, 17:05 PM] Mandos (Leo Zlotnikov) strikes down Marlo AKA Ser Marlo AKA Soon to be Lord Marlo AKA Grand Master Marlo AKA Lord(ish) Marlo (Sheamol Obeda), but is killed himself in the process

[15 Nov, 16:00 PM] A concise update from Sorry for the lack of a proper published report because I spent all the time writing the amusing factual report which I am not publishing but feel free to request it once the game is over because 1) it contains too much identifying information 2) it is sadly not themed

New on Friday, 16 November

[16 Nov, 11:08 AM] Rowena Ravenclaw is concerned for Bambi's education

[11 Nov, 16:35 PM] Ravenclaw the Purifier is much too late for Kevlun (Benedict (Ben) Skinner Cassidy)

[13 Nov, 18:30 PM] Alder Skrilth messily eliminates Maynord Manera (Austin Reed) and Elfie Stanley (Ciara Watkins)

[14 Nov, 09:30 AM] Peanut Butter and Jelly look for humans

[15 Nov, 17:30 PM] Barry Bluejeans tries his luck, but Bambi is nowhere to be found

[15 Nov, 08:43 AM] Haruto Amo happens across Savage (Nida Pathan)

New on Thursday, 15 November

[14 Nov, 22:28 PM] Lord(ish) Marlo tastes failure for the first time

[14 Nov, 16:30 PM] Rumpelstiltskin is out for blood

[14 Nov, 15:45 PM] Red Riding Hood is hungry again

[12 Nov, 18:10 PM] [REDACTED] (Ben Shute) is removed from the story

[13 Nov, 19:30 PM] Merlin and Tor enjoy a cheery family outing to the home of Johnthehandyman (Yusuf Benkraouche)

[12 Nov, 09:15 AM] ExoticAngel (Siddharth Chandrappa) falls at last, as The Shadow Broker springs the trap

[11 Nov, 15:00 PM] Nevar and Merlin have a dramatic standoff

[13 Nov, 11:50 AM] Arthur Pendragon is determined to hold back the tide of shadows

New on Tuesday, 13 November

[10 Nov, 16:00 PM] Alder Skrilth has precious little to say, but decides to say it anyway

[12 Nov, 17:00 PM] You Tolkein to me? has some stern words for the absent [REDACTED]

[12 Nov, 08:50 AM] Lucy the Platypus (Sonali (Preeti) Kate) is struck down by Barry Bluejeans

[12 Nov, 12:15 PM] Emma Milstein scours the kingdom

[12 Nov, 10:55 AM] It's best to keep an eye out for the Wall Shadow

[12 Nov, 09:45 AM] A clumsy magician in training gets lost

[8 Nov, 11:00 AM] Kevlun (Benedict (Ben) Skinner Cassidy) is killed by Ariana Stark's wolves

New on Monday, 12 November

[10 Nov, 17:00 PM] A PSA from Garfield the Deals Warlock, if you will

New on Sunday, 11 November

[11 Nov, 13:08 PM] Axl N' Rose snoops around

[11 Nov, 21:00 PM] Arthur Dent slays Finn mac Cool (Jacob Smith)

[11 Nov, 14:35 PM] Lyra Viria goes for a stroll

[11 Nov, 10:57 AM] Lord Farquaard sees to it that Lucifer (Luc Liedtke) falls, from grace and from life

[9 Nov, 18:30 PM] Arthur Zachary Helious (Hao Zhe Chun) runs afoul of Garfield the Deals Warlock

[10 Nov, 14:00 PM] You Tolkein to me? tries to pay a few visits

[9 Nov, 22:11 PM] Axl N' Rose keeps watch in the rain

New on Saturday, 10 November

[9 Nov, 16:00 PM] Emma Milstein takes a chance

[9 Nov, 13:00 PM] The Shadow Broker plays the long game

[9 Nov, 08:30 AM] Nevar watches and waits, without much luck

[8 Nov, 19:30 PM] Patient Man bides his time

New on Thursday, 8 November

[8 Nov, 20:20 PM] Barry Bluejeans stumbles across Balrog "The Less Intimidating" Baggins (Chris Underhill) and Trillian (Simon Crane)

[8 Nov, 20:00 PM] Thanos searches the Labyrinth, finds nothing

[8 Nov, 17:56 PM] A clumsy magician in training nonetheless manages to finish off Polsoc (Wassil Janssen)

[7 Nov, 21:45 PM] Barry Bluejeans finds Waldo (David Duowei (David) Xu)

[8 Nov, 10:00 AM] Haruto Amo puts an end to All About Dat Bass (James Kiln)

[6 Nov, 16:35 PM] M tries to carry on

[7 Nov, 19:30 PM] Things are looking up for Haruto Amo

[7 Nov, 22:22 PM] Lord Farquaard and Lord(ish) Marlo end the lives of Bob Dole (Maksym Lewyckyj) and Brutalitops (the Magician) (Dylan Perera), but not yet of one another

[5 Nov, 14:00 PM] Rumpelstiltskin is confounded by a series of locked doors

[7 Nov, 19:20 PM] Thanos enters the Labyrinth

New on Wednesday, 7 November

[7 Nov, 11:00 AM] Arthur Pendragon fights for what's right

[7 Nov, 08:50 AM] Hutmann, the Prematurely Obliterated of the Western Marshlands (Alex Craggs) is obliterated prematurely by Barry Bluejeans

[6 Nov, 20:05 PM] Silver Fox (Sylvie Hodes) is the latest student to come under fire from Rowena Ravenclaw

[6 Nov, 16:30 PM] Lyra Viria isn't so lucky

[6 Nov, 16:00 PM] Ariana Stark takes down Calypso (Mia Whitefield)

[4 Nov, 14:30 PM] Axl N' Rose and The-Witch-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named have a strange day

[3 Nov, 23:00 PM] All ends in tragedy for Celaena Sardothien (Louise Barnaby) and M

[5 Nov, 08:00 AM] Red Riding Hood doesn't have much luck with the early mornings

[1 Nov, 16:30 PM] Red Riding Hood stalks in the forest, too close to hide

New on Tuesday, 6 November

[4 Nov, 22:51 PM] Victory is Sweet 'n' Sauron (Nikhil Antony) for Grand Master Marlo

[5 Nov, 09:45 AM] Lord Farquaard slays the Dovregubben (Rupert Knight)

[3 Nov, 13:30 PM] Elfie Stanley reduces Opera (Samuel (Sam) Watling) to a phantom

[3 Nov, 19:00 PM] Rumpelstiltskin pulls a few strings

[5 Nov, 18:00 PM] The Shadow Broker breaks Emile Ward (Ward van der Schoot)

[5 Nov, 08:45 AM] Emma Milstein "kills" the corpse of Ferdinand Topham (Anthony Lim)

[4 Nov, 17:00 PM] Sir Lamp of the Mothlands slays Ferdinand Topham (Anthony Lim)

[4 Nov, 16:10 PM] You Tolkein to me? goes on a mad one; Gustavius Unwieldius (Nathan McKeown-Luckly) and Ploughman (Ollie Evans) come off somewhat the worse for it

New on Monday, 5 November

[4 Nov, 18:00 PM] Alder Skrilth pokes around

[3 Nov, 15:00 PM] Garfield the Deals Warlock realises that complacency may not be the best tactic

New on Sunday, 4 November

[4 Nov, 12:30 PM] Hutmann, the Prematurely Obliterated of the Western Marshlands is eluded once more

[4 Nov, 09:00 AM] Barry Bluejeans is not blessed with fortune

[3 Nov, 11:35 AM] Benjamin Franklin (Brent Weisberg) is struck by Axl N' Rose

[3 Nov, 09:00 AM] ExoticAngel hunts fruitlessly for Lucifer once more

[3 Nov, 14:45 PM] [REDACTED] finally gets Gp (Aarjav Jain)

[3 Nov, 13:45 PM] Ariana Stark (Sarah Royle) fails to notice Haruto Amo in time

[1 Nov, 18:45 PM] Arthur Pendragon clears the world of Akil (Akil Chhabu), Ads the Bads (Aditi Chidambaram), and Shadow Kirito Reborn (Omar Khassal)

[2 Nov, 11:00 AM] The-Witch-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named goes vegetable-hunting once more

New on Friday, 2 November

[2 Nov, 07:30 AM] ExoticAngel gets up early, but the Fallen Angel isn't home

[2 Nov, 19:00 PM] Gustavius Unwieldius is too late to cure Bear Edwardo Newland (Ben Miller)

[2 Nov, 16:45 PM] Lyra Viria waits in the dark

[2 Nov, 13:30 PM] Agrajag the Mostly Harmless perfectly executes 5/7 with rice (Tom Walton)

[1 Nov, 17:25 PM] Merlin and friends put an end to Neep (Roseanna (Rosie) Honeywood)

[1 Nov, 18:20 PM] Rowena Ravenclaw removes Gilgamesh (Zev Shirazi) from the situation

[31 Oct, 22:20 PM] Haruto Amo and Barry Bluejeans pass a pleasant if deathless evening

[1 Nov, 18:35 PM] Bear Edwardo Newland (Ben Miller) shouldn't have crossed You Tolkein to me?

[1 Nov, 12:02 PM] JV (Julius Villar) winds up at the wrong end of Haruto Amo's sword

[31 Oct, 17:30 PM] Rumpelstiltskin breaks a deal with Brown Reaper (Kush Banga)

[27 Oct, 15:00 PM] The Thirteenth Hour comes for Taro1 (Hollie (Hol) Wright)

[31 Oct, 08:32 AM] Silent but deadly (Leah Kulczycki Binnall) and PolarBear (Henry Colbert) pay the price for Lord Farquaard's redemption

[31 Oct, 21:40 PM] M finds Brown Reaper (Kush Banga) too late

[31 Oct, 22:00 PM] The Architect (Barbara Urmossy) falls for Roxas's fatal trick

New on Wednesday, 31 October

[31 Oct, 17:15 PM] Balrog "The Less Intimidating" Baggins goes wandering; Atub Juhurub (Liam McKnight) gets very stabbed

[27 Oct, 21:00 PM] Arthur Zachary Helious investigates, but there's no sign of Stephen of Blois

[31 Oct, 11:00 AM] Trillian is less fortunate this time

[28 Oct, 13:00 PM] The Butterfly Effect runs wild, though its effects are not yet apparent

[7 Oct, 00:00 AM] Bounties!

[30 Oct, 14:00 PM] Celaena Sardothien plays at Patience

[29 Oct, 18:00 PM] A standoff with Alder Skrilth leaves The Doctor (Sergio Hernan) all out of lives

[30 Oct, 16:00 PM] Anne Oldman kills Slim (Nils Van de Berg) in a tragic accident

[29 Oct, 10:55 AM] Soon to be Lord Marlo starts the day the right way, with a kill on Artemis Foul

New on Tuesday, 30 October

[29 Oct, 14:20 PM] Lord Farquaard acts in haste and kills an innocent!

[29 Oct, 20:05 PM] Sentinel (Gareth Chapple) watches no more, as Grand Master Marlo makes his move

[29 Oct, 14:51 PM] Soon to be Lord Marlo rises higher, taking down Stephen of Blois (Will Harvey-Powell)

[29 Oct, 13:44 PM] Soon to be Lord Marlo tidies Ellavorn (Molly Wright) out of the ranks

[29 Oct, 13:15 PM] Ekto (Emilis Kaziukenas) falls to a Sad Samurai

[29 Oct, 13:15 PM] Bob (Kate Lee) shouldn't have trusted Emma Milstein

[29 Oct, 10:00 AM] The Cardboard Gladiator (Oscar Berger) is no match for Randomium

[29 Oct, 08:40 AM] Chaos (Sam Al-Saidi) reigns no longer, falling to Haruto Amo

[27 Oct, 14:30 PM] Mandos's bash squad take out Nissassa (Ibraheem Sajid), Anon (Joseph (Joe) Xia), Lord Geoffrey the Second (George Little), Magnifique (Estella Nouri), TheRabbitMan (Daniel Lappin), Jorge (George Pugh), Milkman (Sahil Sama), and WISE MONKEY (Yaqing (Xy) Wang)

New on Monday, 29 October

[27 Oct, 16:30 PM] Jareth's bash squad take out Samwelltheslayer (Samuel (Sam) Reynolds), courtesy of Garfield the Deals Warlock

[27 Oct, 21:00 PM] Mandos and Help! My Neighbour Is The Chief Of Police! bash one last college, but none of Akil, Shadow Kirito Reborn, Polsoc, or Ads the Bads are in

[27 Oct, 20:00 PM] Mandos carries on the bash, paying a visit to the absent Slim

[28 Oct, 18:15 PM] BenTheChicken is too hasty in trying to dispatch the Wanted criminal Soapier Mantis (Cormac Creagh); Mandos clears up

[27 Oct, 18:40 PM] Soapier Mantis tries to shoot greengiant (Reetobrata (Reeto) Chatterjee) in a no-projectile zone; Mandos lays out the law and takes the kill

New on Sunday, 28 October

[28 Oct, 08:00 AM] A public service announcement from Deathmaster

[28 Oct, 09:00 AM] The Patient Man is waiting

[27 Oct, 22:29 PM] David Monroe (Joe Ross-Biddles) falls to an ExoticAngel

[27 Oct, 20:50 PM] Hutmann, the Prematurely Obliterated of the Western Marshlands really isn't having much luck on his research mission

[27 Oct, 18:25 PM] Agrajag the Mostly Harmless is slightly harmful to Hollow dagger (Joe Hough)

[27 Oct, 18:15 PM] Sawuman the Right takes out Big Benis (Ben Iddon), billycasper (Robert Sizer), and Rafterman (Giles Shaw) in quick succession

[27 Oct, 17:20 PM] Lyra Viria hunts; Dobby (Anderson Allcock) dies

[27 Oct, 14:30 PM] Scared, Potter?'s incobash team take out STELZERMIESTER (Jonathan Stelzer), songbird (Fatima Eshani), and Sir Agravain The Guilty (Finn Cormican)

[27 Oct, 16:00 PM] Bob Dole receives some mysterious visitors

[27 Oct, 12:50 PM] Slim executes a smooth kill on JT (Jeffrey Tooze)

New on Saturday, 27 October

[26 Oct, 11:45 AM] The-Witch-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named helps out with Axl N' Rose's culinary endeavours

[27 Oct, 00:00 AM] Incobash Day dawns

[26 Oct, 08:20 AM] Rumpelstiltskin gets the better of BenTheChicken (Eleanor (Ellie) Chapman)

[26 Oct, 16:00 PM] Anne Oldman finds no targets

[26 Oct, 16:20 PM] Axl N' Rose and The-Witch-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named scout for more vegetables

[26 Oct, 18:00 PM] Silver Fox escapes Nevar's shadow, for now

[26 Oct, 20:30 PM] [REDACTED] and Gustavius Unwieldius deliver cake, but no death

[26 Oct, 14:30 PM] The autocensorious [REDACTED] has little luck with deliveries

New on Friday, 26 October

[26 Oct, 09:00 AM] Nobody's home when Emile Ward comes calling

[26 Oct, 12:05 PM] Grimalkin AKA Galadriel (Tarun Chapman) and Atub Juhurub conspire to take down Schrodinger's Cat (Hannah Erlebach) - but treachery abounds

[22 Oct, 17:13 PM] Ariana Stark takes out Jaqen (Edouard Barrier) with Arthur Dent's assistance

[26 Oct, 09:43 AM] Rowena Ravenclaw must put an end to Pepsi (Mark Pepper)

[25 Oct, 19:00 PM] Maynord Manera and Elfie Stanley are quite out of luck

New on Thursday, 25 October

[25 Oct, 16:00 PM] Celaena Sardothien expertly breaks into the wrong house

[22 Oct, 15:00 PM] Celaena Sardothien's investigations are met with silence

[25 Oct, 14:00 PM] Celaena Sardothien comes a-knocking

[25 Oct, 13:00 PM] Rumpelstiltskin's dealings don't go to plan

[25 Oct, 12:55 PM] Nevar searches to no avail

[25 Oct, 10:00 AM] It's close but no cigar for Haruto Amo

New on Wednesday, 24 October

[21 Oct, 17:35 PM] M finally catches Smaug (Andrew Carlotti)

[23 Oct, 19:00 PM] Barry Bluejeans looks out for careless talk

New on Monday, 22 October

[22 Oct, 17:20 PM] Emma Milstein tries to get back into the swing of things

[22 Oct, 16:50 PM] Haruto Amo's quarry stays quiet

[22 Oct, 10:00 AM] Hutmann, the Prematurely Obliterated of the Western Marshlands's specimins remain evasive

[21 Oct, 23:50 PM] Lord Farquaard does some outreach work

[21 Oct, 21:30 PM] Bobby Shmurda (Ewan Edmans) gets murdered (by Ser Marlo)

[18 Oct, 22:28 PM] M carries out orders; Trivial Group (Jack Harrison) is removed from the path

[21 Oct, 12:33 PM] Kevlun concisely assassinates lillith (Abigail (Abi) Wilkinson)

[21 Oct, 18:36 PM] Lord Farquaard puts a definitive end to demon 16 (Dmitrii Amelin)

[19 Oct, 22:50 PM] M and Smaug come to blows in a no-go zone

[21 Oct, 15:30 PM] Balrog "The Less Intimidating" Baggins intimidates the life out of Optime Junior (Alexandru (Alex) Malekshahian)

[21 Oct, 15:30 PM] Trillian takes out the dastardly Duck Lord (Sherwood Lam)

[21 Oct, 11:55 AM] Lyra Viria hunts again

[21 Oct, 13:00 PM] Arthur Zachary Helious misfires, to Calypso's benefit

New on Sunday, 21 October

[20 Oct, 20:00 PM] Arthur Zachary Helious prepares to fight their way out of the Labyrinth

[20 Oct, 19:00 PM] Lucifer lays claim to the soul of The Bronze Oxon (Zac Bischoff)

[19 Oct, 12:50 PM] Lucy the Platypus proceeds with caution

New on Saturday, 20 October

[19 Oct, 20:00 PM] The Legs aren't remotely competitive, no. Just ask Bed&Breakfast (Oliver O'Brien)

[20 Oct, 12:00 PM] The Legs (Patrick Farnworth) won't be walking away from this encounter, as JV comes back to haunt them

[19 Oct, 23:00 PM] Merlin heartlessly betrays his own daughter, Tor (Victoria (Tor) Catherall)

[19 Oct, 19:45 PM] Solvognen-hunter (Michael (Mike) Collingwood) becomes the hunted, as Ser Marlo ups his kill count

[14 Oct, 13:45 PM] PolarBear strikes down Angleic (Emily Barker) while The yoyo's back is turned

[19 Oct, 13:00 PM] Schrodinger's Cat snuffs out the Peternal Flame (Piotr Kram)

[19 Oct, 17:15 PM] JV runs away from The Legs

[19 Oct, 15:15 PM] Opera makes a dramatic strike on ChicKen (Ken (Kwok Yin) Man)

[19 Oct, 10:26 AM] The mutinous Ser Marlo takes out Nedward Ciderhands (Edmund (Ned) Carro)

New on Friday, 19 October

[15 Oct, 12:05 PM] Can a student with a ruler simultaneously exist as a knife-wielding Schrodinger's Cat? Hard to say, but Heisenberg (Parth Shimpi) is most certainly deceased

[18 Oct, 18:00 PM] Emma Milstein and Scared, Potter? deliver some baking

[18 Oct, 16:00 PM] Kayla Stockwell (Ishaan Vadgama) escapes The Legs' ambush... the first time around

[18 Oct, 15:27 PM] Lord Farquaard decides to show Ser Marlo how it's done, with J (Juvraj Singh Sawhney) as an unwitting guinea pig

[18 Oct, 20:32 PM] Lord Farquaard's journey is all for naught

[18 Oct, 20:31 PM] A late-night showdown between Ser Marlo and Sir Tim the Forgetful-of-the-Necessity-of-the-Providing-of-the-Pseudonym (Neal Patel) results in one late knight

[18 Oct, 19:45 PM] Ser Marlo goes a-questing once more, nobly confiscates life from chtwi (Momcilo Topalovic)

New on Thursday, 18 October

[18 Oct, 12:00 PM] All About Dat Bass is all about that murderous lifestyle, to the chagrin of ToxicChopstic (Zion Kim)

[18 Oct, 12:15 PM] Never going to make you die, never going to say goodbye... The Legs tire of this nonsense and decide that the best solution is to shoot Rick Astley (Eunice Adeoyo)

[17 Oct, 18:00 PM] M's quest leads to a locked gate

New on Wednesday, 17 October

[17 Oct, 22:02 PM] Marlo's knightly routine means lights out for Oona, Queen of the Fae (Jack Lawrence)

[17 Oct, 10:00 AM] Alder Skrilth gets bored, goes on a killing spree consisting solely of Sir Perfluous (Benjamin Gibson)

[17 Oct, 17:35 PM] Galadriel vows to do away with the likes of Gerblerb the Gerblin (Lisa She-Yin)

[17 Oct, 17:30 PM] The Legs stumble across KdogLong (Kelvin Leung)

[17 Oct, 12:00 PM] Artemis (Eszter Arany (Eszti)) falls to an ExoticAngel

[14 Oct, 18:35 PM] Help! My Neighbour Is The Chief Of Police! (Roddy MacSween) is wiped out by The Butterfly Effect

[16 Oct, 23:00 PM] A poorly-timed bathroom break leaves Ramsey (Will Hackett) dead at the hands of Marlo

[16 Oct, 22:06 PM] Arthur Dent takes a stab at Em, a clueless fresher (Emily Beatty)

New on Tuesday, 16 October

[16 Oct, 20:24 PM] An improbable encounter with Calypso ends badly for Ford Prefect (Josephine (Josie) Brookes)

[15 Oct, 22:50 PM] The art of disguise serves Grimalkin well, as Laura Palmer (Ieva Wade) is deceived by fluffy appearances

[16 Oct, 10:00 AM] ExoticAngel makes a trick shot at The yoyo (Robert Yeo)

[16 Oct, 10:55 AM] Haruto Amo makes short work of Plankofwood (Robert Ogilvy)

[16 Oct, 11:00 AM] Mr Resourceful (Jacob Rowlands) isn't resourceful enough to escape the wrath of Lord Farquaard

[16 Oct, 10:00 AM] The Legs get a lucky strike at Mr. Mxyzptlk (Bilal Amin)

[16 Oct, 08:50 AM] Haruto Amo finds a friend and a wooden spoon (Domantas Kuryla)

[16 Oct, 09:23 AM] Trivial Group will wait however long it takes to get 5pc Chicken Selects (Ajay Ahir)

[16 Oct, 08:30 AM] It's a rude awakening for Megumeme (Yin Tung Eugene Lee (Eugene)), as Agrajag the Mostly Harmless seeks revenge

[16 Oct, 12:00 PM] Lucifer bides his time

New on Monday, 15 October

[15 Oct, 12:55 PM] demon 16 ends the life of Sawuman the Right (David Evans)

[15 Oct, 12:45 PM] Haruto Amo wants to find their friends - at any cost

[15 Oct, 16:00 PM] Joe lunn (Amelia Marshall) learns the hard way about opening doors to strangers like Soapier Mantis

[15 Oct, 16:20 PM] BenTheChicken takes out Anna (Anna Mills) with a little help from a friend

[15 Oct, 13:30 PM] Sad Samurai (Bence Balazs) is brutally murdered by Bambi

[15 Oct, 13:26 PM] Too good for part 1A (August Liu) is too good for this life as Finn mac Cool strikes him down

[15 Oct, 13:05 PM] Tor and Gansoku (Nissim Chekroun) learn the power of using True Names

[14 Oct, 13:45 PM] Tor fends off mysterious invaders

[15 Oct, 10:20 AM] Hutmann, the Prematurely Obliterated of the Western Marshlands's scientific research mission gets off to a shaky start

[14 Oct, 00:30 AM] Alder Skrilth thinks he can make some sort of stand against Jareth the Goblin King. Foolish, foolish boy.

New on Sunday, 14 October

[14 Oct, 18:00 PM] Mr Resourceful has no luck, for now

[14 Oct, 15:25 PM] Lyra Viria's patience is rewarded; Candy Crush Soda (Tiffany Choi) pays the price of goblin fruits

[14 Oct, 17:25 PM] Megumeme tries to throw a fridge at Agrajag the Mostly Harmless, rolls a Nat1 on strength

[14 Oct, 13:30 PM] Grimalkin's sophisticated preparation scores a critical hit on Gorgias The Sophist (Adam Reeves)

[14 Oct, 16:30 PM] The Bronze Oxon's soul escapes from the clutches of Lucifer

[14 Oct, 12:00 PM] Lyra Viria waits in vain

[14 Oct, 15:10 PM] Ariana Stark's civilised and refined campaign of death continues, as 01001110 (Nick Carson) falls to her knife.

[14 Oct, 14:50 PM] It's death all round for Maleficent (Alex Radford) and a55a55in0 (Rebecca (Becca) Tyson)

[14 Oct, 00:00 AM] Welcome to the Labyrinth

[14 Oct, 00:27 AM] And the first blood of the game is spilled! Ariana Stark's wolves make short work of CakeMix (Gokulan (Gok) Vethanayakam), as Maleficent looks on

The Assassins' Guild - Updates

New on Wednesday, 12 December