The Assassins' Guild - Week 1 News
The Assassins' Guild - Week 1 NewsGood luck, everyone!
I think I need a new pseudonym.
Tried to kill NiteOwl with an attack animal. Accidentally threw it over his head, and got killed whilist waiting for it to be returned!
By the foolhardy announcement of his evening plans, Sam Twist bought himself a swift death when I (with Tinky Winky for backup) killed him by a throwing knife to the chest.
I was cruelly betrayed by my porter as he let my old foe, Nulecimator, loiter inside the lodge ready to strike with his throwing pens! Perhaps I am a lemming? It does not matter because no one is safe from Von Crobag, not even 125ft away...
Doing something wrong here...
I played utterly silly games with chess pieces doing very silly and bizarre things, shot Charon's Loyal Customer shortly after leaving, and then went to sleep. Significant improvement, but very little sleep...
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob DoomPants! Whose accomplices can't pull off dishonesty? SpongeBob DoomPants!
Spying a chance to gain his first kill, SpongeBob and his undersea accomplice exited the number 1 submarine at the lair of Trolsassin. Unfortunately his cohort bottled it and announced herself as a friend of Mr DoomPants. Trolsassin sadly refused a challenge to settle this like sponges, and we left.
Eats, Shoots and Leaves used poisoned lipstick for this kill, which I have allowed her to use. Secondly, I remind players that killing the same person repeatedly will earn fewer and fewer points. Mix up your targets a little!
Aaron Domnoob, the greatest noob-slayer ever, wanted to try out his new weapon he had just spent the day manufactoring: the giant bionic spoon! This is truly a weapon perfect for killing noobs, since it was made by myself, and I am mighty. Unfortunatly, Ultraraptors are apparently noobs since they weren't in when I visited.
Following this, nunc est necandum was not killed now for the simple reason that the noob refused to open the door after Domnoob made the PERFECT excuse to get in: "I live here". Honestly, Domnoob even did a study beforehand which showed that the top reason most people gave for going into a room was "I live here". So how could that excuse fail? It's the top reason! nunc est necandum must have been an utter noob not to fall for this. The giant bionic spoon will have to be used to pwn noobs another day.
First to remember Assassins is a thing post-May Ball...
Mad scramble for weaponry. Mine's just out of reach...
*STAB* "Is my watch slow, or are you dead now?"
SpongeBob DoomPants spied Broseidon in his watery domain, and let rip at the bro-god of the sea with his four-pounder Nerf gun. As Broseidon dove beneath the waves for cover, Cap'n DoomPants prepared a broadside, then fired all guns! Broseidon now sleeps with the fishes.
Broseidon had foolishly attempted to go onto the Cam in a boat made of cardboard, and when he inevitably returned to the bank drenched with water I was fortunate enough to bump into him.
SpongeBob DoomPants has been splattin' the Latin. Nunc est nuncandum is knifed. Knifus. Knifiemundi.
Stabbed unsuspecting college father-in-law Greg Weir at the market. My wife may yet forgive me.
SpongeBob DoomPants diverted from his journey to lunch in order to to hose down Eats, Shoots and Leaves I guess you could say he.....Shot, left and ate.
(o_o)>-@-@
(-@_@)
Felt I should make a contribution to the game (noooo) - went looking for Addison Shore and his fruity friends!
A friend enters his door! I shoot the person I see inside! Run away but get chased and shot! Turns out the guy I killed was an innocent. Oh well.
Well, today someone showed up to my room. A friend happened to be bringing something back from the gyp room and on their way they were shot viciously. I swiftly avenged the innocent's death in a short firefight between rubber and nerf darts.
Was stopped short in the middle of my dinner by an unexpected dagger to the ribs - Charon's Loyal Customer has his revenge!
Random Strategy attempted to slay Looks like I forgot to bring a pseudonym with his giant bionic spoon. Unfortunately, an innocent decided to warn him and Random Strategy only just managed to get his giant bionic spoon stuck in the door. Following this Random Strategy attempted to fire his rubber band gun into the room but missed. He then attempted to use his waterpistol, but the room was no water (oops... sorry) so it had no effect. After a while, the giant bionic spoon was finally removed from the door.
Later, Looks like I forgot to bring a pseudonym and Random Strategy fought in the corridor, and Looks like I forgot to bring a pseudonym managed to hit Random Strategy. Unfortunately for him this time, it was with a full water weapon (while the corridor was water with care) so it also had no effect. Both parties decided to leave so that they could duel the next day (hopefully).
Having bided my time until life returned to my recently deceased body, stabbed the unsuspecting Eats, Shoots and Leaves whilst she was distracted by sparkly lights in the sky.
After a slow recovery from being fatally stabbed by Tinky Winky, I looked around me and saw my killer eating lunch outside, a botched attempt to sneak up on him resulted in a firefight. Poorly prepared, he ran out of ammo after his opening shots missed so I finished him off with a shot to the chest.
While relaxing in the college bar, I suddenly noticed Martin enter the room, and fortunately he hadn't noticed me. I grabbed my gun and fired a shot into his chest.
Shot in the back by Eats, Shoots and Leaves while on the way to set up an ambush for her at the pub. To add insult to injury, my derringer posthumously misfired. Ladies, I swear that's never happened!
Sat with bated breath, safe in hand, for 15 minutes, waiting. A crackle on the intercom; my faithful accomplice answered, and gave me the pre-arranged signal: "Scrambled eggs!" - The enemy were in the house! My time was at hand. A head appeared on my staircase; I let the safe drop- Alas, it fell straight past my intended target (Charon's Loyal Customer) and made a large dent in the stairs. My bedder will not be amused...I fumbled for my back-up as a second person appeared on the staircase; I shot Charon's Loyal Customer in the back of the head and received a faceful of bullets/water from Eats, Shoots and Leaves for my trouble. As it turned out, Charon's Loyal Customer had already crossed the Styx, to return in a few hours, and Eats, Shoots and Leaves had taken me down with a cunning plan - using Charon's Loyal Customer as both bait and a human shield.
I'm disallowing this; players should not use dead players as bait. Maddie Sharman's score is unchanged.
The Cybord Ginosaji will hit you with his giant bionic spoon, again and again and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again. He will not stop until you are dead. Not even Trolsassin can troll the Ginosaji.
Come on, Charon's Loyal Customer, fight back!!
Bumped into Greg Weir today... he didn't recognise me until the knife was deep in his back...
I was sitting down outside during the King's Affair when I spotted Duocimator. I reached for my gun and fired a quick shot which missed, but he had already seen me and quickly killed me.
Going for a walk after King's Affair before bed, I crossed Midsummer Common at about 05:45. The place was completely deserted except for a couple of people walking down a path near to me. I looked closer and realised that one of them was Duocimator! What were the chances? I charged towards him with my nerf gun, possibly frightening him and his companion somewhat, and managed to get a headshot.
Walking out of the cafeteria with a tray full of food Martin stepped out from behind a corner and shot a water gun into my chest. A skillfully executed kill.
Peter Rabbit vizited nunc est necandum, gummy bear and Ultraraptor. Wiv a gun dat shoots bunny rabbits. But juicy prey not found. Peter Rabbit sad. Also where on earf iz F208? Peter Rabbit iz not good wiv orientasion.
Surely thou didst not doubt my skill? Surely thy knavish brain could not even contemplate such a thought?
Perhaps then, mine humble, yet lavish, words might set those of weak mind reassured and those of unsteady sword arm quivering, for the mightiest knight on life, myself, Von Crobag, has defeated a traitorous opponent from within mine own lands!
A true gentleman never forgets a turncoat and must surely chastise him on soonest convenience.
Thus it came to pass that, feigning goodwill and sweet sustenance, I led this traitor of days past, who goes by the name NiteOwl, into mine abode where, unsuspecting, I slew him with mine mighty steel!
As a true gentleman, I then took the still writhing corpse of mine old friend into the local tavern and bade the serving wench to wet him!
Perchance I should stumble upon the Duocimator, I might lend him to the same fate...
And now I cry mine traditional battle cry!
Trololololololol!!!
Random Strategy and Looks like I forgot to bring a pseudonym finally had there duel just in time before the game ended. Looks like I forgot to bring a pseudonym used his superior knowledge of the terrain to first shoot off Random Strategy's left leg, then managed to finish him off a few minutes later. Random Strategy should have used a chainspoon this game. They're far more effective than waterpistols, giant bionic spoons, and guns that shoot rabbits.
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