The Assassins' Guild - Week 1 News
The Assassins' Guild - Week 1 NewsTurned up at Howard Dale's residence at 8.30 am, posing as a Jehovah's witness. Howard answered the door and I swiftly murdered him via a sword to the chest. A girl was heard to be crying in his room afterwards as she saw the dead body.
Dead-about 8am. Not best pleased.
This morning I happened upon the rapscallion Laurence Watson, who had done dastardly deeds in our previous game, so while I had the height advantage from my sniping post, I blasted him into next week with an XP215. Realising I had made a grave mistake and that he was not in fact the old lady that I was targetting, I bang killed the beautiful damsel Jaya Unspecified_Surname who was apparently not playing. I hurried away and found Jen Berry, and the guy who she was with who is an assassin but i don't know his name, lacking adequate defense so ended their pitiful lives. I then found David Williams hovering close to deaths door and I gave him a quick shove over the threshold. The Duke of Parmesan
Enraged by the lack of Heavy Metal in morning lectures, I stormed out and put some METAL into someone wearing less leather than me.
Well, today I woke up at 15.45 to someone knocking upon my door. Seeing as it's the first time anyone has ever knocked on my door (or been anywhere near my room for that matter) I opened it with haste and was stabbed in the shoulder by a sword. The game's begun already? Fair enough.
Infiltrated Trinity College for the second time today and killed Liam Mencel, again using my longsword to ruthless effect. Mencel died instantaneously at his own doorstep after being stabbed in the chest. I dedicate the murder as a birthday present to Phil Bao, who witnessed the event.
The Toothfairy visited Victor Leong in his sleep, but found that he had not left any teeth for her. So she shot him and went on her way, leaving a chocolate biscuit under his pillow.
I died a horrible death. Because I was taking a nap. With an unlocked door. 3 unknown people burst in and shot me with a water gun as I was struggling to wake up. Embarrassing, really.
- We went to the room of Fran of West Mafia but no-one was there. - ****Rudra killed The Nome (Naomi Miles) of West Mafia.**** - We went to the room of Double-One Eight of West Mafia but no-one was there. - We went to the room of La Boite Diabolique of West Mafia but no-one was there. - We went to the room of The Flying Spaghetti Monster of West Mafia but no-one was there. - We went to the room of The Phantom Tango of West Mafia but no-one was there. - We went to the room of La Boite Diabolique of West Mafia but no-one was there. - We went to the room of The Flying Spaghetti Monster of West Mafia but no-one was there. - ****Rudra killed Double-One Eight (Simon Nathan) of West Mafia.**** - We went to the room of Fran of West Mafia but no-one was there. - We went to Peterhouse but A Strange Little Critter of Ping Mafia doesn't live there. - ****William the Girl killed C-Flakes (David Newgas) of Ping Mafia.**** - ****Rudra attempted the killing of Hagbard Celestine (Ben Weaver) of Ping Mafia, but he was already dead.****
This evening Horatio T Loins, defender of Brazil, SDG and I visited Harvey Court of Gonville and Caius College. We found the doors to Harvey Court locked, but some nice Caians let us in to A staircase when SDG knocked. We pushed open An_Mhor_Fhir's door and the three of us gunned him down with RBGs as he talked on the phone to his Dad (concluding with, "I've got to go Dad, I've just been shot,"). Someone else opened the door to B and C staircases for us, allowing visits to be made to the rooms of Sweet Zombie Jesus and Philip - who were both out - and Richard - who was leaving just we arrived and locked himself inside as soon as he saw us approaching. Undeterred, I phoned a friend of mine who lives in nearby K-block and convinced him to open the door for us. Conveniently, Echo was in my friend's room at the time. I called "Hi Chris," to Echo, and we opened fire with RBGs as he turned round from his attempts to mend a bike wheel. Having been told by a random person that Sweet Zombie Jesus would be found in the Caius bar, we made our way over there, but were disappointed not to see him. After ordering drinks and having a wonder round though, we noticed Philip celebrating his birthday with some friends. Horatio T Loins, defender of Brazil greeted him with a call of "Happy Birthday Phil," before we drew the over-used RBGs and filled him full of elastic. Some attempt to claim that he wasn't acually our target ensued, but facebook cleared up any uncertainty.
At around 11 o' clock this evening, Jun-Kai I, Bugsy Malone, and myself attempted to take on the Silver Street mafia. Our first stop was the home of a certain Don Raphael, who proved to be too cautious to be eliminated by our tricks. A quick skirmish occured, but neither party was harmed. The next target, James Eulas Gasaway of Corpus Christi, was fortunately for us not so suspicious. Upon our meeting, I greeted him cordially before stabbing him through the heart. Unfortunately, the third target of the evening, Amanita Arbury, had developed an anti-assassin strategy involving stabbing first and asking questions later. Thirty seconds after knocking on her door, she burst out of a secret room with a pair of knives in hand, burying one into the left arm of Jun-Kai, and the other directly into my chest. Alas, for Bugsy Malone and Jun-Kai left me to die alone in the corridor while they hastily made their retreat, shaken and injured but alive.
At 23.10 I found a band of assassins at the door to college, so knowing they would be round soon I hid in the gyp room armed with some knives (labelled pens - safety first) and managed to kill one male assassin while stabbing another in the arm. I was also stabbed in the arm during the fraccas. The female assassin stayed at the bottom of the stairs so I didn't get her at all. Unfortunately they beat a hasty retreat.
'On Tuesday evening I was innocently typing away at my computer, when, what should I hear but whisperings in the corridor. Alert as ever, I sprang to the door and locked it, just before they knocked and attempted to draw me out of my room under very dubious pretexts. These same suspicious characters tried again shortly afterwards and then proceeded to loiter (no doubt, with malign intent) in my kitchen for an absurd amount of time. I was really quite disgruntled by the fact that I couldnt get to my fruit-juice, but on the plus side, being confined to my room meant that at least I got my essay done.'
I was enthusiastically stabbed at 10.55 outside the Bristol-Myers Squibb lecture theatre by Jun Kai I, after I buried a knife in his arm last night. Alas, his rapid approach went unnoticed by me as I awaited my friend and now my corpse adds to the noxious odours and sulphorous smells of the chemistry department.
Despite all the hissing, clawing and scratching I could muster, they escaped unscathed having slain the white long-haired cat the "bad guys" always have.
Upon arriving at *Unspecified_College*, we looked around, convinced an innocent bystander to let us in, and located our targets' rooms. Unfortunately, all the birds had flown, and we came away without a kill. Undeterred, we proceeded to a different location, where we conducted a revenge killing on the villain who had so brutally murdered two of our comrades (Tristan Kalloniatis). We left before the sounds of our shots attracted too much attention, and proceeded to our next target. After much sneaking about, we managed to nail Arun Dhanraj in his room, whereupon my colleague stabbed him with a dagger. I mutilated his corpse with my RBG just to make sure.
This evening I partook in a battle with the dastardly William Brooks, just outside the chimney entrance to Jesus College. I first of all approached him, unleashing my water pistol, but this was ineffective since he was carry a shield. We then circled each other for a while, before he started to approach with his shield raised, and another assassin emerged from the bushes nearby. At this point, I through a bouncy grenade at his legs to immobilize him ( since his body was shielded), but only succeeded in hitting his shield. I then realised that the battle was turning against me with the arrival of his friend and I had run out of water, so I retreated slightly into college, at which point they did not follow.
Having rushed to the aid of a fellow mafia member with SDG, someone shouted 'bang' at me with a little flag gun from 10ft away. Since this was out of range, I shot the guy imes in the chest with my RGB.
Sean the Sheep Maguire and Callum Rhodes were banana shot in the head by Barbarigo di Bellagamba this evening.
Yesterday evening at around 6 myself and Twillo met The Duke and a minion therof outside Jesus, and had a brief firefight until he LAMED OUT and RAN AWAY. Can we start moving our own pimps and protection rackets into Jesus territory, since their mafia is unable or unwilling to protect it? We then swept through Silver territory, visiting the homes of each of their members, but failing to find any live ones in.
Some "silent ninja". He was the noisiest person in the vicinity and I picked him out easily. He had no defence at all which is also very disappointing for a ninja. Pah.
Having enjoyed a lecture on the Labour Government of 1945 - 1951 Horatio T Loins was lacking in his concentration. This was a mistake. Having met a 'friend' he, the friend, pulled out a knife and stabbed Horatio T Loins in the chest. Gargling on his own blood H.T. Loins could only manage et tu Brute?!?!? before passing over to the great beyond.
i assassinated Simon Abernathy (Horatio T Loins, defender of Brazil)of the Emma mafia, today at just after 11 am. caught him after a history lecture in the department's lobby and stabbed him once in the chest.
Sweet Zombie Jesus and I ventured to Trinity College with two non-assassin accomplices, on a mission to kill Will Brooks, the Trinity mafia's deadliest assassin. The four turned up outisde Will Brooks' room and conversed with his neighbours whilst calling for Will to come out and join them. He only came out, with a water pistol, when Nimrod and I had gone down the stairs to leave. Sweet Zombie Jesus left the building and was almost shot by Will from a window, while I heard someone warn me not to leave the building. Thus I ran along the corridor, up another flight of stairs and stabbed him in the back with a longsword whilst he peered out a window. I discovered shortly afterwards that the accomplices had both died.
Poisoned poppy in my pigeonhole?!?!?! protective mittens are the way forward. Be a bit more imaginative next time, assassin!
I, (Palmer Ham) paid a visit to James Brister of the Trinity Mafia this morning, arriving outside his door at 8.15 am. After 55 minutes of lurking I knocked on his door...only to find that he's more insane than i am at getting up early. Ah well, another day maybe.
I turned up at the residence of Maria Kennedy, pressing her buzzer from outside. She came to the door quite quickly, opening it, allowing me to say hello. As I reached into my pocket, she shut the door on me. However, I told her to let me in because I wanted to kill her. The trick worked; she opened the door and encouraged me to kill her. Thus I shot her in the chest, thanked her and shook her graceful hand as she died.
Just killed Richard Brittain: there was a knock at my door, but an unfamiliar voice and unfamiliar figure viewed through my door's eyepiece put me on my guard. Being on the wanted list already for killing innocents I figured there was nothing to lose, and opened the door with a bang kill directed at my visitor. Luckily it was only Richard coming to kill me himself.
After investigating the whereabouts of other targets I arrived at Emma, the birthplace of the notorious innocent killer Josephine Parker. She wasn't at home initially, but with a bit of patience and the help of her friend warning her as she arrived that there was an assassin (me) waiting at the top of the stairwell I located her and gunned her down as she fled. Twas Death On The Stairs (Libertines).
16:30 The Phantom Tango found Dr. Strangelove a disappointing partner Through the twisting and turning passages of TARGET[1][:college] I walked. I had heard the college was a hotbed of student activism and plotting, but in fact I saw almost noone. I lurked for Dr. Strangelove, hoping a man such as he would dance with me, but alas he did not leave his room. Also, outside his room smells of wee. 17:30 The Phantom Tango danced in the shadows, but Revolta and Jun-Kai I didn't want an Abrazo I lurked in the darkness of TARGET[2][:college] but they did not pass me. Also, their canteen is in a shed LOLZ.
Today,I met up with Alex after a practical class since my lecturer so kindly identified her for me. I approached her on the premise that we would be discussing our course. She was paranoid, and for good reason. The knife was drawn before the notes. And that was that. She be dead. On the way out of the building, little did I expect to bump into her friend who efficiently carried out his revenge. I be dead.
The Innocent Reports: As I strolled leisurely through my bounteous estates, an unkept fellow approached me. I greeted him, calling out 'What ho, my good man?' ''Ere, I 'ear you ain't to be trusted. Wotcha targets called?' he replied. 'I know not what you mean, sirrah,' quothed I, bemused. 'But you may join me for tea and biscuits, if you wish.' He refused my offer, instead pulling out a gun and blasting my chest open. I was most upset, that waistcoat was only bought mere days ago.
18:00 The Phantom Tango interrogated a suspect Dancing to RANDOMER[1][:college], I hid in a bush when who did I notice but RANDOMER[1] himself. After establishing all they knew, I shot them. As it turned out, they weren't actually playing, so that was probably a mistake.
18:45 Phantom Tango checks the tangerines but Jun-Kai I got take away On receiving information that Jun-Kai I was going to UNSPECIFIED TOWN SUPERSTORE, I lurked there whilst doing my weekly shop. Sadly, I hear he got takeaway instead.
A poor attempt at my life really. A pigeon hole leaflet, neatly folded up, with a sticky white powder keeping the pages together? Anyone could have seen that from a mile off, and indeed I did, making sure that I put on my protective gauntlets before opening it to see what hilarious comments it might contain. Apparently, it was a special poisonous sherbert you see, according to my would be killers, the Playdough Bunnies. Tough luck guys, better luck next time.
A mazy journey around Kings led me to the door of Dr.Strangelove, a cheeky little bugger with quick reflexes apparently. After he opened the door to my honest looking accomplice, I jumped into view, unleashing the full force of my RBG, but sadly, missing by inches. Young Dr.Strangelove was quick to clock on, and immediately shut the door, and with it, ended my hopes of getting a much needed kill. We waited to see if he would emerge for a duel, but Dr.Strangelove was clearly shaken by his near death experience. Next time young man.
So comes the end to this terrible bloodbath - of 11 mafias, not a single one was wiped out completely. Here are the results:
| Members | Kills | Deaths | Survivors | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Girton Mafia | 7 | 4 | 1 | 6 |
| Silver Street Mafia | 6 | 5 | 3 | 3 |
| Bridge Street Mafia | 6 | 5 | 3 | 3 |
| King's Parade Mafia | 8 | 5 | 5 | 3 |
| Trinity Mafia | 6 | 8 | 5 | 1 |
| West Road Mafia | 6 | 2 | 2 | 3 |
| Christ's Mafia | 6 | 2 | 3 | 3 |
| Emmanuel Mafia | 7 | 5 | 6 | 1 |
| Huntingdon Road Mafia | 8 | 0 | 0 | 8 |
| Jesus Mafia | 6 | 1 | 5 | 1 |
| Trumpington Road Mafia | 7 | 0 | 4 | 3 |
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