Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild: Umpirical Email Archive

Some of the more amusing communiqués received by the All-Seeing Umpire during the course of the game:

Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2004 16:21:08 +0000 (GMT)
From: Rosemary Warner <>
To: Adam Biltcliffe <>
Subject: Re: Assassins' Guild: Lent 2004 game

Dear Mr Umpire, I am an experienced assassin pretending to be a fresher
for the purposes of writing a humorous email. Blah blah, hardened latex
juvenile mammals of genus erinacea, blah. Also, I've had this really great
idea about writing "knife" on pieces of hardened ground wheat paste... I'm
looking forward to spreading jam on my unsuspecting victims' doorhandles,
they won't know what's hit them lol lol!

>  * Your full name, indicating the name by which you are normally known
Rosemary Warner. You know this...
>  * Your college or department
Gonville and Caius. You know this too, and we RUL3XOR
>  * Your email address (preferably your address if you have one)
>  * Your official address (ie. room number), and if different the address
> at which you will be living during the game
Q8. May also be found at boyfriend's house at 40 Paradise St (no water).
>  * Your room's water weapons status (no water, with care or full - see the
> rules for explanation)
Full Water. The only way to go.
>  * Your initial pseudonym for news reports
Doktor Von Fappenschlick
>  * Your subject (only if you live more than 20 minutes' walk from the
> Market Square)
1B ecology, of course.
>  * Any other information which should be passed to your assassins (such as
> allergies or the fact that you live in a shared room)
Shouldn't need saying, but Ralph's house is a Real House with Real
Innocents in, so *please* no silly buggers.

Good luck, hope you don't get too much silly buggers.


From: "Bryony Baines" <>
To: "Adam Biltcliffe" <>
Subject: *bouncebouncebouncebouncebounce*
Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2004 17:55:43 -0000

*grin* ah, that time of term again.. I think I might play. And supprisingly,
my details shall be thus;
Bryony Baines, Rm. 7, 4 St Pauls Rd, Caius, NWW, pseudonym: Weaponth of math
I'd like to licence the fluffy lizard as a cosh and the Joe Devils as, well,
a big painted shiny Joe Devils.
Thanks, & see you soon, - Bryony

Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2004 00:51:53 +0000 (GMT)
From: "M.M. Lester" <>
Subject: Lent 2004 Signup

For the attention of His Excellency,
Wearer of the British Ninja Headband of Death,
Seventh in the Line of Curly Hair,
Resident of Clare Memorial Court,
Most Mathmo-like of all CompScis,
Rightful Recipient of all Bourbon Biscuits,
The Supreme Incorruptible Umpirical Master,
Adam Biltcliffe:

I would like to sign up for the Lent 2004 game.

Name: Martin Lester
Address: C86, Harvey Court
College: Gonville and Caius
E-mail address:
Water status: Water with care; please mind computer and work on
desk several metres behind door and next to window.
Initial pseudonym: The Adult Male's Father

I have a Mike Peterson RPG rifle and Joe Devils gun, which I would like to

Please brace yourself for a stream of terrible puns (this information is
given in confidence), at least until I get another pseudonym, assuming I
don't die before I kill anyone like last term.

Martin Lester.

Subject: Re: Assassins' Guild: Lent 2004 game
From: Andrew Sobala <>
To: Adam Biltcliffe <>
Date: Thu, 22 Jan 2004 01:22:29 +0000

On Sun, 2004-01-18 at 15:26, Adam Biltcliffe wrote:
> If you wish to sign up,

Which indeed I do,

> please supply the following details:
>  * Your full name, indicating the name by which you are normally known

Andrew Sobala. Normally known as Andrew. In fact, some people call me
Nigel. But that's not normal.

>  * Your college or department


>  * Your email address (preferably your address if you have one)

>  * Your official address (ie. room number), and if different the address
> at which you will be living during the game

Room V12, Emmanuel

>  * Your room's water weapons status (no water, with care or full - see the
> rules for explanation)

Definitely no water. People might get soggy.

>  * Your initial pseudonym for news reports

hmm. Let's have..... The Whale with No Teeth.)

>  * Your subject (only if you live more than 20 minutes' walk from the
> Market Square)


Andrew Sobala <>

Given by our hand in the meadow that is called Runnymede, between
Windsor and Staines, on the fifteenth day of June in the seventeenth
year of our reign.

From: "Jon Jowett" <>
To: <>
Subject: Assassins signup
Date: Thu, 22 Jan 2004 13:11:29 -0000

Here's the details:

Name: Jon Jowett
College: Emma
Room: East Court 11
Water Weapons: No Water
Pseudo: Astral Surfer



PS: Don't you dare give me only targets in Girton and Homerton. Two
consecutive terms like that would not be funny...

PPS: Of course, I'm not playing this term ;)


Jon Jowett
Emma June Event Treasurer
CUSBC Secretary
ECMS Treasurer

Subject: Re: Assassins' Guild: Lent 2004 game
From: Edward Allcutt <>
To: Adam Biltcliffe <>
Date: 23 Jan 2004 19:22:08 +0000

No, no time, group project, ticks, supervisions, 15 hours of lectures a
week.......but, I don't have a no-kill with Jeff this term ;)

Edward Allcutt
Trinity Hall
43 St. Clement's Gardens,
Thompson's Lane,
No water.
Charlie (original innit ;))
um, I am terribly dangerous and not to be attacked under any

Hope you have fun with the umpiring :)


Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2004 20:06:41 +0000 (GMT)
From: Paivi Pasi <>
To: Adam Biltcliffe <>
Subject: Rules lawyering part I

Dear esteemed Umpire,

...are the non-players' rooms still no-bomb areas? They are, right?
Please...? ;)

An assassin has taken up residence in my room, and far from being a
willing accomplice, I'm quite innocent. Now I can hardly be accused for
opening the door to my own room every morning, right? Should I be blown
up, the evil wrongdoer who did it should be punished, yes? And even if I
would then be killed as an alleged accomplice, I would by necessity still
have to keep on opening my own door - that so?

So no bombs on me door, right? :)

Good luck,

Paivi "Concerned Citizen" Pasi

Ps. If the thing about the bombs and non-players is still in the rules,
feel free to 'RTFM' me...

Date: Sun, 25 Jan 2004 00:15:03 +0000 (GMT)
From: Stuart Moore <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Re: [Assassins] Target Assignment


On Sat, 24 Jan 2004, The Umpire wrote:

> Assassins of Cambridge,
> Welcome to the Lent 2004 Assassins game! Here are your details; if any
> of them are incorrect or incomplete, please let me know.
>  Your name: Stuart Moore
>    Address: E10, First Court
>    College: St. John's
>    Details: No water
>  Pseudonym: meeting their antimatter self and shaking hands
> You have 3 new targets:
>     Name: Ian Abel
>  College: Trinity Hall
>  Address: F5
> Comments: No water
>     Name: Paul Scrivens
>  College: St. John's
>  Address: B1, North Court
> Comments: No water
>     Name: Michael Richards
>  College: St. John's
>  Address: A13, New Court
> Comments: No water. Lives in shared room.
> You have none of your old targets
> You must make a kill attempt by 05:00 on Sunday, 1 February to avoid becoming incompetent. Check the website at for updates regularly.
> Good Luck,
> Adam Biltcliffe (Umpire)

From: "Paul Fox" <>
To: <>
Subject: The updates page
Date: Sun, 25 Jan 2004 15:15:40 -0000

I would like to congratulate you on your all seeing powers, as you seem to
have managed to see into the future to Monday 26th January, which does not
begin for another 7 hours. Or is the autoumpire malfunctioning?

Date: Sun, 25 Jan 2004 17:21:08 +0000 (GMT)
From: Richard Thomas <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Application.

Cool, I'm convinced this is the only way to convince people I'm not an
assassin. Although it may have other implications but, what they hey, it
could be more fun:

I would like to join the police force:
Richard Thomas <>
St John's College
H5, New Court (NO WATER)
Pseudonym: PC Plod

Thanks, Adam.


On Sun, 25 Jan 2004, The Umpire wrote:

> On Sun, 25 Jan 2004, Richard Thomas wrote:
> > Is it possible to join the Police Force from a position of not being in
> > the game? If so, how?
> Sure. Just send me an email saying you'd like to join the police with the
> usual details of name, email, college, address, water weapons status,
> pseudonym and anything else necessary.
> --
> Adam Biltcliffe
> Cambridge University Assassins' Guild
> Lent 2004 Umpire

Subject: Re: [Assassins] Target Assignment
From: Jonathan Hogg <>
To: The Umpire <>
Date: Sun, 25 Jan 2004 19:50:52 +0000

On Sat, 2004-01-24 at 22:56, The Umpire wrote:
> Assassins of Cambridge,
> Welcome to the Lent 2004 Assassins game! Here are your details; if any
> of them are incorrect or incomplete, please let me know.
>  Your name: Jonathan Hogg
>    Address: M30
>    College: St. Catherine's
St Cath_a_rine's!

Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2004 23:27:05 +0000
Subject: fake fake wallet-bomb


[Note: this is not intended for publication in the news]

My fellow assassin Vilhelm and I found a wallet in the King's computer room an hour ago. It turned
out that it belonged to Philip Bridge, another King's assassin.

If we had had him as a target it would have provided the ideal excuse for knocking on his door.
Since was not we decided that it would be too risky to deliver it him personally as we might get
shot anyway.

However we felt that it would be a shame not to make anything out of the occasion. So we prepared it
as a fake fake wallet-bomb by putting a cap-detonator in the coin compartment, together with a note
signed by "the minister of minions" declaring it to be a fake wallet-bomb. Which it was not, since
the cap in the detonator was already detonated, making it a fake fake. It should still wind him up a
bit though.

I hope that you don't mind that we did this without consulting you beforehand, but it would after
all have been unethical to hold on to his wallet for too long.
I also hope that Philip doesn't get suspicious enough about who might have sent it to him to shoot
me on sight. Perhaps I should send him an e-mail afterwas explaining that it was not a serious
attempt. But then again how sincere will that sound...


Date: Tue, 27 Jan 2004 14:35:23 +0000 (GMT)
From: "P.O. Bridge" <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: No rest in peace for the wicked

I went to the post office today to send a letter home, and when I opened
my wallet to pay the man, what do you think fell out but a cap-detonater?
I assumed it was a (weak) pratical joke played by one of my friends, but
on closer inspection later, I found it was in fact armed, albeit with a
dud cap, and someone styling themselves 'The Master of Minions' had left
an all too familiar disclaimer in my wallet. Poor old Master. Not only did
his ingenious attempt on my life fail, but I was of course already dead
when all this happened. Still, I would like to thank him for graciously
not stealing all my money when he had my wallet - a true gentleman. There
aren't many people as honest as that in the world. Well, certainly not in
the Assassins Guild anyway.

Subject: About that attempt I reported on Sunday...
From: Alex Labram <>
Date: Tue, 27 Jan 2004 22:25:58 +0000

You know I said that someone knocked on my door? I now know exactly who
it was cos she did it again. One of my friends had decided to mildly
torment me at moments of greatest tension, i.e. on the first day and
immediately after I've been made wanted.
I hope she signs up to the guild and ends up on my kill list. Grrr

Oh yes, and after I shot James I went to try and kill a target, Jack
Berk. Needless to say, he wasn't in. I find this slightly ironic in a
dark, fin-de-siecle kind of way.


Subject: Re: Sorry to bother but...
From: Alex Labram <>
To: The Umpire <>
Date: Wed, 28 Jan 2004 09:32:07 +0000

Oh, no corruption involved, I assure you. Ed just happened to be walking
past when a guy with a gun ran out. There are no mafias in Cambridge :)
Btw, do I have redemption requirements at all?

On Wed, 2004-01-28 at 09:23, The Umpire wrote:
> On Wed, 28 Jan 2004, Alex Labram wrote:
> > There was an incident at my place involving Tom Booth getting fatally
> > shot. My email is cocked up and I can't find out whether I sent you a
> > report or not
> You didn't; I have a report from Tom, but not from you or any of your
> associates. I'd love to hear what happened, especially since it sounds as
> though there's grounds for at least one of your police allies  being made
> corrupt.

From: "T.R. Carver" <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Re: [Assassins] Target Assignment
Date: 28 Jan 2004 14:57:09 +0000

Just checking, in light of recent events, are snowballs legitimate methods of destruction? Pretty
pretty please? How about if you somehow label them ie with a bit of paper saying "this is a bullet"
at the centre?

Tom Carver

My Song is Love unknown:
My Saviour's Love for me -
To the loveless shown;
That they might lovely be!

From: Stephen Mounsey <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: police
Date: 29 Jan 2004 22:19:26 +0000

dear adam,

can i join the police force please as i have bought all these shiny new weapons which will go to
waste unless i get killing more efficiently.


Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2004 08:45:59 +0000 (GMT)
From: Rosemary Warner <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Re: [Assassins] Target Assignment

> (The other comment included in Diana's signup email: "Please be nice,
> Rosemary. I am gonna put some effort in this term, I promise.")
I'm finally mamaged to ally with her...
> Your incompetence deadline:
> 05:00 on Sunday, 1 February
YOu mean I have to make an attempt on one of my targets despite being
wanted? Seems a little harsh. I suppose I shall have to BPL someone then.


Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2004 12:08:33 +0000
From: Adam Baird Fraser <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Bomb Shelters


What does building a bomb shelter in one's room involve? I'm a little worried that the idea of 10l
bombs will catch on :S


Adam Baird Fraser

Christ's College

From: "Ed Heaney" <>
Subject: Re: Report
Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2004 01:09:10 +0000

>It's possible, at the Umpire's discretion. However, right now it's not very 
>likely, as I assume you'd >immediately become corrupt to 414 again.

No worries then. Although 414 does trust me, and my trigger finger is often itchy...

Help STOP SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE*

From: "Bryony Baines" <>
To: "The Umpire" <>
Subject: Re: inbox clog up
Date: Mon, 2 Feb 2004 16:26:32 -0000

Leo Howell lives literally next to Paul Scrivens. They hang around together,
are both in my lectures, so leave at the same time, their staircase isn't
easily lurkable in a way thats not blatantly obvious, they are friends with
the Jonian mathmos who know me quite well so its difficult to hang around
close and hope for name dropping. My tractable Jonian who I was relying on
to tell them apart for me is ill and unavailable. I know which two they
are.. just not who's who! Leo Howell is dead, but Martin (lester) bombed
him, and doesn't know what he looks like. Please can I just shoot them both,

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 2004 18:27:53 +0000
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Re: Another poison letter

--On 02 February 2004 18:26 +0000 The Umpire <> wrote:

> --On 2 February 2004 6:19 pm +0000 wrote:
>> P.S. After Gordon shot the innocent yesterday, you said Gordon
>> could not be killed for wantedness until his name went up on the
>> website. However, you then went on to say that this might never
>> happen if one of his assassins killed him before hand. Was this
>> a not-too-subtle hint from you for me to do my duty?
> The Umpire is impartial! It was merely, um, an expression of hope.

Don't worry. I won't mention to anyone that you're corrupt, sorry - impartial. ;)

Subject: [Fwd: Jar-Jar]
From: Jonathan Hogg <>
To: The Umpire <>
Date: Tue, 03 Feb 2004 09:36:41 +0000

total pass on this one.
guess I'll have to reiterate police policy on murders and

>You are police officer Jar-Jar. There is an assasin called Jar-Jar. Is the live assasin J-J
>Wilkes. Please Mr Policeman help me. I think he's trying to kill me by subversive means...
>Personalised email by

Subject: Re: Jar-Jar
From: Jonathan Hogg <>
Date: Tue, 03 Feb 2004 09:41:00 +0000

I'm afraid that official police policy percludes police officers from
neither confirming nor denying the status of suspects in ongoing murder
enquiries. However, should vigilanties take the law into their own hands
and kill someone without reasonable cause they will be made wanted for
murder and then shot.

On Tue, 2004-02-03 at 09:26, wrote:
> You are police officer Jar-Jar. There is an assasin called Jar-Jar. Is the live assasin J-J
> Wilkes. Please Mr Policeman help me. I think he's trying to kill me by subversive means...
> Paul
> --
> Personalised email by

Date: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 19:12:57 +0000 (GMT)
From: =?iso-8859-1?q?michael=20emra?= <>
Subject: Hey cool assassin guys.

I am a non player (at present) but have read the rules and have an idea that i think you might be
interested in. 
If a player has become paticulary incompitent they may become elegible for a public "Execution".
All remaining players and police force members meet in a public place, (I would think parkers piece
would be good for this) with a very messy weapon, or failing that Tomatoes. The incompitent is then
lashed to the lamp-post in the middle of the piece and pelted with fruit and the such like.
Hope you like it. 

Yahoo! Messenger - Communicate instantly..."Ping" your friends today! Download Messenger Now

From: "Duncan Brewer" <>
To: "The Umpire" <>
Subject: Re: Assassins: change of target details
Date: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 23:39:51 -0000

well, now theres a shock..
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "The Umpire" <>
To: <>
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2004 11:45 PM
Subject: Assassins: change of target details

> Dear Mr Presley,
> Just to let you know that following your near-terminal attempt on Monday,
> your target Victoria Kowalkowski has changed the status of her room from
> 'no water' to 'water with care'.
> Good luck,
> -- 
> Adam Biltcliffe
> Cambridge University Assassins' Guild
> Lent 2004 Umpire

Date: Wed, 04 Feb 2004 01:33:37 -0000
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Unproductive attempts

666 reports:

Went on a rampage. Visited all targets. All were out/asleep/cowering in their rooms. Am mildly
annoyed, but sent one of them a nice letter to say hello. Hope they get it.

btw, when is a door not a door?
When it's in Robinson
 (honest - they've got signs up saying "this door is no longer a door". Very confusing place.)

Date: Fri, 06 Feb 2004 16:20:20 +0000
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Registering weapons

Hi Adam,

Can I register a fluffy little squirrelly thing as a weapon please. Also, can I register a hook. The
squirrelly thing has large rusty nails sticking out of it at strategic points and is supposedly 99%
aspestos. The real evil kind. The hook is extremely sharp and can rip cows to shreds with one sweep.
It is coated with poison made from Amazonian frogs and is made from a highly unstable isotope of
plutonium - guaranteed to cause you cancer if nothing else. So yes, they're both safe.



Subject: Police raid tonight!!!
From: Alex Labram <>
To:,,, [...]
Date: Mon, 09 Feb 2004 20:34:32 +0000

Hi, I'm PC Corkscrew and I have come into posession of information
regarding Thomas De Rivaz, wanted criminal extraordinnaire. Namely, that
he is currently sitting innocently in DipSoc. Cue evil cackle...

If you fancy helping take him out, be at Umpire Adam's room by 11:00,
we'll start off from there. His address is M6, Clare Memorial Court. If
you miss us, my phone number is ##### ######. Be aware I'm outta credit
so can't phone anyone.

>From Adam's we'll move on to Robinson, the location of the DipSoc
meeting. The society meeting has a variable end time so you might want
to bring food/work/whatever.

See you there!

Alex "Corkscrew" Labram

Oh yeah, preferably email me back to reduce the chance of a mixup :)

Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2004 08:50:01 +0000
From: Stuart Moore <>
To: Alex Labram <>
CC:,, [...]
Subject: Re: Police raid tonight!!!

I'll remove dead people from the email list shortly, but surely one of you saw that coming? Trusting
Kat was silly...

Ah well, well done for the SWAT team getting their man. I'm afraid I was out drinking last night.
I'll try to sort something out for Kat soon...


Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2004 17:15:24 +0000
From: Stuart Moore <>
To: Assassins Police Mailing List <>
Subject: Police list

Welcome to our new recruits.

Firstly, in case anyone hadn't spotted what happened last night, trusting Ross Edmonson is hazardous
to your health. Be wary but he can't actually do anything to you unless you're baring weapons, so
don't worry about him for the moment.

The following need our attention

Lee Lewin Girton A32 Studies Natural Sciences (biological).
Michael Mann 	Christ's 	C4	
Ariane Standing Girton 	F3a Studies Natural Sciences (biological).

Now for those new to the list, I will allow police not to be declared corrupt if they tell me
immediately of any allegiances they have with wanted/inco/corrupt people, and they're helping with
other stuff. Some people have requested this; however Michael Mann has no friends it seems. So any
info you have about him, share here. I'll contact you separately about the various problems in
Assassins' Guild Police Mailing List

Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2004 20:10:46 +0000
From: Stuart Moore <>
To: Assassins Police Mailing List <>
Subject: Avenge the SWAT team

I have reliable information that Kat will be at the pubmeet tonight at the Mill for the Casual
Sailing society. 8:30 onwards.

Adam Baird Fraser is considering taking him out with a poisoned pint; unfortunately police aren't
allowed to do that trick. On the other hand, Kat can't kill anyone who's not baring weapons.

That said, I'm not sure I trust Adam. If he wanted to go wanted, taking out a SWAT team would give
him a good chance.

For anyone who doesn't know what Kat looks like, see (he's not the
crazy guy with the hair in the bottom picture, believe it or not he's the sorry excuse for an
umpire we have round here <fx: remembers Adam is on this list> and a very good job he does too :)

Anyone interested? We'd probably meet up outside Kings at about 9 and move on. Check your email
again before going though, I'll send an email out by 8:40 to confirm whether or not it's on.

Assassins' Guild Police Mailing List

Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2004 20:41:48 +0000
From: Stuart Moore <>
CC: Assassins Police Mailing List <>
Subject: Re: Avenge the SWAT team

I appear to be alone on this one. Wish me luck...

Assassins' Guild Police Mailing List

Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 03:58:24 +0000 (GMT)
From: Mike Cripps <>
Subject: A tale of two guys out on the pull

Duncan and I went to Newnham Bar tonight to look at women.

We didn't see any we liked so we decided to go visit my targets.  I left
notes for both of them (not poisoned).

Then we went to Selwyn and crashed their Halfway Bop, at which I shot an
innocent for waving Kat's Joe Devils around.  We then crashed the Kat/Cats
and drank alcohol and ate pringles.

Then we came home.

Reports follow:

---begin: note for Victoria Kowolkolski??? (Report as "The King")---
My target appeared to be asleep so I left a note for them.  Hopefully
they'll die of fright.

---being: note for Lauren Grest (Report as Michael Cripps)---
I was getting bored of so little assassin-interaction in my life that I
decided to visit one of my assassins [am I allowed to say that?] in the
hope of making them fight me.  I pushed a letter under their door and
waited 10 minutes but no sign!  So I ran away.

Thanks, mate

Subject: Bryony Baines wanted!
From: Jonathan Hogg <>
To: Assassins Police Mailing List <>
Cc: Jenny Chase <>
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 13:43:14 +0000

Looks like we have a very dangerous and competent wanted criminal.
Bryony is known to be a mathmo.
She is known to do Treasure TRap [LARP] which is on _tonight_, starting
about 7-8pm and finishing 10.30-11.30pm
description: Bryony is quite short, with long brown hair which is quite
feral in nature.

We have recieved reports of contact poison and bombs being used by her.

Be careful while approaching her house, it is a buzz in system, she can
probably shoot you from a window above.
Also on her street is Chris Field, a lazy but competent assassin.

Her girlfriend is coming to visit this weekend I believe, and they will
probably be going out to a curry restaurant on saturday, though these
plans may now change.
Assassins' Guild Police Mailing List

From: "Bryony Baines" <>
To: "The Umpire" <>
Subject: most mysterious letter
Date: Tue, 17 Feb 2004 09:18:15 -0000

Dear counterpart, 
I was awfully sorry to hear about 
what happened to you in the Assassins 
game. I suppose everyone runs into 
bad luck now and again. I hope the 
brevity of your criminal career was 
enough to convince you that you 
prefer being nice. Otherwise you might 
have to be the evil one and I'd 
have to be the good one. Wouldn't 
you hate that? I know I would. 
I'm very sorry not to have seen you 
recently, but you must know as well 
as I do how busy we've both been. 
I'm sure you haven't forgotten me though. 
I certainly haven't forgotten you. 
Love as always, 
Byrony xxx 
Don't know if its worth putting it up on the site - its not directly relevant to the current game,
and its hard to tell if someone is cackling wildly to themselves on IRC. I just need a cunning way
to discover everyones handwriting... main suspects currently are J Doe, then Simon Ford (simply
because he was in the right place at the right time..) 
gah! I will hunt them down! 

Date: Tue, 17 Feb 2004 13:17:38 -0000
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Criminals

ooh! A criminal - and in my very own college! You know, I'll be very insulted if I don't have a
poisoned door. I will have to pay her a visit.

From: "Jon Jowett" <>
To: "The Umpire" <>
Subject: Re: [Assassins] Target Assignment
Date: Wed, 18 Feb 2004 10:46:56 -0000

> You have 2 of your old targets:
>     Name: Niall Taylor
>  College: Magdalene
>  Address: Rm. 16B, Westminster College
> Comments: No water

He's dead too, you know...



To: The Umpire <>
From: David Stark <>
Subject: Ric Brackenbury
Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2004 20:49:59 +0000


Ric did this thing where he killed quite a few of the right people, and he's now wanting the post of
DCoP. What are your thoughts on this matter? I am a tad bit worried: Is he likely to go corrupt? Am
I likely to explode?



Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2004 13:30:59 +0000 (GMT)
From: Jenny Chase <>
To: "A.W. Robison" <>
cc: Simon <>,, 
    "S.M. Mccann" <>, 
    Adam Biltcliffe <>, 
    "M. Richards" <>, 
    "M.J.T. Brooks" <>
Subject: Open Season suggestion

A suggestion to speed up the game- how about we all meet up under safe
conditions? That would probably increase the chances of deaths occurring,
as we could recognise one another.

Of course, it might remove a serious advantage to some of you, but I don't
think any of you is really totally anonymous. In my opinion the game comes
into its own when you know what everyone else looks like, and what is left
is to be the most alert and quickest on the draw.

What do you think?

Happy hunting to all of you,


Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2004 16:59:04 +0000
To: Jenny Chase <>,
 "A.W. Robison" <>
cc: Simon <>,,
 "S.M. Mccann" <>, Adam Biltcliffe <>,
 "M.J.T. Brooks" <>
Subject: Re: Open Season suggestion

Any suggestion to meet up with the ever gorgeous Jenny seems like a good one to me.

From: "L.S. Grest" <>
To: The Umpire <>
Subject: Re: new blood
Date: 28 Feb 2004 12:59:02 +0000

On Feb 28 2004, The Umpire wrote:

Indeed! I will probably recruit a few more people as well. The idea of having minions appeals to my
bossy side...

> > Hello. A few of my friends are interesting in playing in may
> > week. Would you put them on the mailing list? They are all at
> > Newnham (so far!) Sarah Robinson -#####, Carrie Oliver -#####,
> > and Claire Kelly #####.
> Excellent! 'tis done.
> (resolves to be wary of evil Newnham mafia in may week)

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