About Me

Who is Tim Kelby? Many people have asked this question, and no one truly knows the answer. He goes by many names, some of which people actually use when referring to him in conversation.

A mysterious and elusive figure, many have tried and failed to contact him, especially if they were using Outlook Express (the only mail client deliberately designed to distribute viruses™), and many have sought him in vain, often trying to phone him when he had his mobile switched off. He is so elusive that some people still refuse to believe that he is indeed real, claiming that he is nothing more than a front for an evil organisation bent on world domination. However, by those who acknowledge his existence, he is thought to be researching 'The Applications of the Nanoscale Mechanochemistry of Surface-grafted Polyelectrolytes to Biomimetic Mechanoelectrical Transudction,' whilst also studying for an advanced diploma in 'Making Your PhD Sound Ridiculously Complicated'. It has been suggested that he may have been involved in secret weapons programs, such as the one shown to the right, and he has been linked to a secretive and heretical religous sect known as the Cambridge Student Methodist Society, which is thought to have ideological ties with the militant wing of the Christian Union. He also claims to have seen Rory McGrath outside Sainsbury's once.

So - who really is Tim Kelby? Is he an insane genius, hell-bent on world dominatation? Is he a violent fanatic, intent on spreading his own brand of liberal leftist thinking, whatever the cost? Is he a world-famous novellist driven into seclusion by the pressures of fame? Or is he just a student with too little time on his hands to be running a proper website?

In the words of the wizard Rincewind: "Who knows? Who cares? Not me for one."

To attempt to contact Tim Kelby, you could try assembling two pieces of wood and 4 c.c. of mouse's blood and performing the Rite of AshkEnte... or you could just click below:

Email: tsk23@cam.ac.uk