Weird Al Yankovic

So, who is Weird Al Yankovic? Well, he's possibly the greatest accordion player of the modern age, and a genius at stealing... ahem, parodying other people's songs, as can be seen from the choice selection below. These are just a few of lyrics written by the Great Mr. Yankovic, and make up an even smaller fraction of the songs attributed to him. To read some of the lyrics erroneously credited to Weird Al, go to the Stuff People Think is Weird Al section. For much more Weird Al-related info, have a look at Weird Al.com.

Amish Paradise	Parody of "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio
Laundry Day	Parody of "Come Out and Play" by the Offspring
Pretty Fly (for a Rabbi)	Parody of "Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)" by the Offspring
The Saga Begins	Parody of "American Pie" by Don MacLean
Yoda	Parody of "Lola" by the Kinks

Amish Paradise

Parody of "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain,
I take a look at my wife and realise she's very plain,
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me,
You know I shun fancy things like electricity.
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milking cows,
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob ploughs... fool!
And I've been milkin' and ploughin' so long that,
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone.
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline,
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin.
But if I finish all my chores and you finish thine,
Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699.

We've been spending most our lives, living in an Amish paradise.
I've churned butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise.
It's hard work and sarifice, living in an Amish paradise.
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise.

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week,
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek.
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well,
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell.
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it,
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of.
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat,
And my homies agree I really look good in black... fool!
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears,
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years.
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare,
We're just technologically impared.
There's no phone, no lights, no motor car, not a single luxury;
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be.

We've been spending most our lives, living in an Amish paradise.
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise.
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise.
We don't fight we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise.

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter,
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another.
Think you're really righteous, think you're pure in heart?
Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art.
I'm the pious guy the little Amlets wanna be like,
On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife.
So don't be vain and don't be whiney,
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your hiney.

We've been spending most our lives, living in an Amish paradise.
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise.

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Laundry Day

Parody of "Come Out and Play" by the Offspring

You gotta keep 'em separated.
 
You like the latest fashions,
You'd like to keep 'em clean.
You take a trip every week to the laundromat,
Throw a load in the washing machine.
 
But if you don't wanna ruin your clothes,
You gotta sort 'em out first as everyone knows,
Remember bright colors and the others don't mix,
Before you wash 'em up, wash 'em up, wash 'em up, wash 'em up.
 
Hey!
Are your undies turning pink?
Take 'em out! (You gotta keep'em separated)
Hey! Are your cottons gonna shrink?
Sort 'em out! (You gotta keep'em separated)
 
Hey, then when it's time,
You can stick' em in the dryer,
You can hang 'em on a line.
Hey, it's laundry day!

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Pretty Fly (for a Rabbi)

Parody of "Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)" by the Offspring

Veren zol fun dir a blintsa.
 
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi.
 
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho.
 
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past,
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last,
But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick,
I tell you, he's to die for - he really knows his shtick.
 
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too.
Workin' like a dog at the synagogue,
He's there all day, he's there all day,
Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear,
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer.
Just grab your yarmulka and,
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
 
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi.
 
He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice,
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price.
He never acts meshuggah and he's hardly a schlemiel,
But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!
 
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off.
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul,
What's not to like? What's not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays,
And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise.
Put on your yarmulka and,
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
 
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss,
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss.
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite chip,
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!
 
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
 
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho.
 
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell,
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell.
Show up at his home, he says, "Shalom!"
And "Have some cake - you want some cake?"
Yeah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots,
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz!
So grab your yarmulka -
The one you got for Chanukah -
Let's put on our yarmulkas and,
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!

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The Saga Begins

Parody of "American Pie" by Don MacLean

A long, long time ago,
In a galaxy far away,
Naboo was under an attack.
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn,
Could talk the Federation in-to,
Maybe cutting them a little slack.
But their response, it didn't thrill us,
They locked the doors and tried to kill us.
We escaped from that gas,
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass.
We took a bongo from the scene,
And we went to Theed to see the Queen,
We all wound up on Tatooine,
That's where we found this boy...
 
Oh my, my, this here Anakin guy,
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry,
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi",
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi".
 
Did you know this junkyard slave,
Isn't even old enough to shave?
And he can use the Force, they say.
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen,
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen?
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday.
Well, I knew he built C-3PO,
And I've heard how fast his pod can go.
And we were broke, it's true,
So we made a wager or two.
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace,
And the minute Jabba started off that race,
Well, I knew who would win first place,
Oh yes, it was our boy
 
We started singin'...
My, my, this here Anakin guy,
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry,
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi",
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi".
 
Now, we finally got to Coruscant,
The Jedi Council we knew would want,
To see how good the boy could be.
So we took him there and we told the tale,
How his midichlorians were off the scale,
And he might fulfill that prophecy.
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course,
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid,
Oh, training they forbid,
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear,
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here,
Just stick it in your pointy ear,
I still will teach this boy".
 
He was singin' ...
My, my, this here Anakin guy,
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry,
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi",
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi".
 
We caught a ride back to Naboo,
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to,
I frankly would've liked to stay.
We all fought in that epic war,
And it wasn't long at all before,
Little hotshot flew his plane and saved the day.
And in the end some Gunguns died,
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried,
A lot of folks were croakin',
The battle droids were broken.
And the Jedi I admire most,
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast,
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost,
I guess I'll train this boy.
 
And I was singin' ...
My, my, this here Anakin guy,
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry,
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi",
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi".
 
We were singin' ...
My, my, this here Anakin guy,
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry,
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye,
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi",
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi".

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Yoda

Parody of "Lola" by the Kinks

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah,
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda,
S-O-D-A, soda.
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log,
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda",
Y-O-D-A, Yoda.
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda.
 
Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen,
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green,
Oh, my Yoda,
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda.
Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand,
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand,
Oh, my Yoda.
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda.
 
Well, I left home just a week before,
And I've never ever been a Jedi before,
But Obi-Wan, he set me straight, of course,
He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force".
Well I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben,
So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again,
With my Yoda.
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda.
 
So I used the Force,
I picked up a box,
I lifted some rocks,
While I stood on my head.
Well, I won't forget what Yoda said;
 
He said, "Luke, stay away from the darker side,
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide",
Oh, my Yoda,
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda.
"I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed,
But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed".
Oh, my Yoda,
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda.
 
Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess,
So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess,
But I know that I'll be coming back some day,
I'll be playing this part 'till I'm old and gray.
The long-term contract that I had to sign,
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time,
With my Yoda.
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda.

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