NOT Weird Al Yankovic

There are many songs that are wrongly thought to have been written by Weird Al. In some cases, this must be very irritating for the real author, such as Bob Rivers, who's had half of his output randomly attribtued to Weird Al at one time or another. In other cases, Weird Al must feel rather annoyed himself, in the same way that Beethoven would have been if someone had claimed that he had written "The Birdie Song." In an attempt to address the balance, here are some of the best songs that are NOT by Weird Al. More accurately, here are some of the best songs that have been mistakenly credited to Weird Al, since there are a great many songs that Weird Al didn't write. To find a much fuller list, go to the Not-Al Page.

Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep
(by Bob Rivers) Parody of "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC

Internet Sandman
(by Johnny Crass) Parody of "Enter Sandman" by Metallica

Livin' La Vida Yoda
(by Todd Downing) Parody of "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin

PMS
(by Bob Rivers) Parody of 'TNT' by AC/DC

Will the Real Slim Shady Please Shut Up
(by Mike Spencer, performed by Emily Ellis) Parody of "Real Slim Shady" by Eminem

Wrong Foot Amputated
(by Bob Rivers) Parody of "Come Out and Play (Keep 'em Separated)" by the Offspring

Click on the green musical note icons to hear each song.

Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

Parody of "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC

If you're having trouble with your barnyard friends,
You got a thing for ewes,
Been counting sheep, but you're not in bed,
Here's what you gotta do.
Get out the barn, stay off the farm,
Go read a nursery rhyme.
Don't ring 976-BAAA,
That kind of love's a crime.

Dirty deeds, done with sheep,
Dirty deeds, Little Bo Peep,
Dirty deeds, done with sheep,
Dirty deeds and they're done with sheep,
Dirty deeds and they're done with sheep.

My friend Larry has a little lamb,
Her fleece is white as snow,
He keeps bragging about her night and day,
Someone should tell him no.
Look at the flock, they're all in shock,
Here comes that mutton fan,
Knock off the fleece, give them some peace,
Don't be a barnyard man.

Dirty deeds, done with sheep,
Dirty deeds, Little Bo Peep,
Dirty deeds, done with sheep,
Dirty deeds and they're done with sheep,
Dirty deeds and they're done with sheep.

Velcro gloves, kneepads, late-night dates.
Done with sheep.
Warning signs, electric fences, high voltage.
Done with sheep.

Dirty deeds, don't tell 'em what I done to ewe,
Done with sheep.
Dirty deeds, dirty deeds, done with sheep.

SPOKEN: Quiet gals. I think the shepherd's coming.

Internet Sandman

Parody of "Enter Sandman" by Metallica

When Metallica (backed by the RIAA) successfully prosecuted the file-sharing site Naspter, forcing it to be shut down, many parody artists reacted angrily, presumably reasoning that without Napster, there would be no chance for them to be mistaken for Weird Al Yankovic. This is one of the best and most professional parodies I've come across... to the tune of a Metallica song, of course :)

Make a list, little Lars, never seen a star,
Put his fans behind bars.
Can't you see, MP3 means you're stealing from me,
You should've bought a CD.

I keep my T1 open,
I'm stealing your songs right now.

We're in debt,
From the internet.
Sue our fans,
We're off to Napster-Napster land.

Go to court, close the site, Napster's down tonight,
Now the judge says alright.
Bunch of theives, bunch of liars,
Steal our songs through a wire,
Y'know we'll put up a fight.

I keep my phone line open,
I'm ripping your songs right now.

We're in debt,
From the internet.
Sue our fans,
We're off to Napster-Napster land.

Now I lay Lars down to sleep,
Pray his copyrights to keep,
If he gets poor before he wakes,
He'll have to sell fries and shakes.

Hush little Ullrich, don't say a word,
And never mind that noise you heard,
It's just a fan making bootleg tapes,
I hope you choke on your sour grapes!

We're in debt,
From the internet.
Screw the fans.
We're in debt,
From the internet.
Sue the fans,
We're off to Napster-Napster land.

Livin' La Vida Yoda

Parody of "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin

There are two versions of this song, neither of which is by Weird Al. One was written by Todd Downing, which is the one below, and one was written for Saturday Night Live. In my opinion, this one is better.

He's into superstition,
He's really not very tall,
He's got a premonition, this kid's gonna kill us all.

He's on the Jedi Council,
Big heads and long necks.
He's got a small lightsaber, and speaks he in ways to vex.

He'll make you lift up big rocks with the power of your brain.
He'll make you face your destiny and you'll never be the same.
And your hand will cause you pain.

Long eared, green and stout,
Livin' la vida Yoda.
He'll train and wear you out,
Livin la vida Yoda.
His cane is a gimer stick, his skin is mountain soda,
He will wear you out,
He's Livin la vida Yoda.
Livin la vida Yoda.

Woke up in Dagobah swamp,
In a funky set of robes.
He trained my mind and he trained my body,
But now I'm off to Lando's globe.

He always talks in riddles and he puzzles at your brain,
And once he's finished training you, you'll never be the same,
And Vader's quite a pain.

Long eared, green and stout,
Livin' la vida Yoda.
He'll train and wear you out,
Livin la vida Yoda.
His cane is a gimer stick, his skin is mountain soda,
He will wear you out,
He's Livin la vida Yoda.
Livin la vida Yoda.

He'll make you lift up big rocks with the power of your brain.
He'll make you face your destiny and you'll never be the same.
And your hand will cause you pain.

Long eared, green and stout,
Livin' la vida Yoda.
He'll train and wear you out,
Livin la vida Yoda.
His cane is a gimer stick, his skin is mountain soda,
He will wear you out,
He's Livin la vida Yoda.
Livin la vida Yoda.

PMS

Parody of "TNT" by AC/DC

This song is written by the unofficial winner of the Napster Award for Most Times Mistaken for Weird Al... Bob Rivers! The title says it all, really.

See her storm out of the kitchen,
With a blood-curdling scream,
She's not the girl that I first met,
This one's pretty mean.
My woman chewed my head off me,
Just the other night,
She's got the mood,
She's gonna brood
What gives her the right?

Well it's PMS, she's all uptight.
PMS, she's picked a fight.
PMS, she's on overload.
PMS, watch her explode.

Her brand new jeans are popping their seams,
They're as tight as a clam,
She's public reservoir number one - Hoover Dam.
So bring home some chocolate,
It might save your life.
Tell her you love her,
And hide all the knives.
Her friend is back in town, don't you mess her 'round.

With PMS, she's all uptight.
PMS, and she'll pick a fight.
PMS, she's on overload.
PMS, watch her explode.

Will the Real Slim Shady Please Shut Up

Parody of "Real Slim Shady" by Eminem

This song was originally written by Mike Spencer and performed by a female rapper named Emily Ellis, for the US radio station KLUC. It was not, and has never been, by Christina Aguilera. However, the lyrics below are not the original ones, although they are the only version I have personally heard. I recently discovered that they are, in fact, performed by Cletus T. Judd. Thanks to whoever sent me the email about that - now I know the artist's name, but not the name of the person who told me.

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will that bitch Slim Shady please shut up?
I repeat, will that bitch Slim Shady please shut up?
We're gonna have a problem here.

Y'all act like ya never heard a white person before,
Rhymes are poor, 14 minutes are up, so I got one more,
I had to come back, and now I'm worse than before,
I make you snore, 'cause my tired song is boring you.
It's the return of the... oh wait, hold on, don't try that,
Ya heard what he sounds like, ya really gonna buy that?
Hey, Dr. Dre does... everything you idiot!
How would I sound if Dre didn't lay the beats down?
The world has had enough, Eminem sounding like a 12 year-old girl on helium,
Look at him! Walking around trying to kiss Dre's ass,
Tyring to impress you. "He's so weak, though."
I gave Christina a blast on my new CD, 'cause I tried to hit on her and she rejected me,
Sometimes I wanna jump on the stage and just let loose,
But I can't 'cause I sound like the squirrel on Bulwinkle the Moose.

This song gets on your nerves, this song gets on your nerves,
I know I'm lucky 'cause I got more fame than I deserve,
And that's the message I've been trying to give to little kids,
You can be famous and never know what talent is.
Of course they're gonna like me, cause I'm like a cartoon,
Version of Ricky Schroeder when he was on 'Silver Spoons'.
I ain't nothin' but a product, packaged to be bought up,
You know a year from now I won't be thought of,
But I write about dead animals and cannibals,
'cause that'll shock people and sell records... man, I hope.
So if I can be ridiculous and talentless,
I guess no one is hopeless, look how bad this song is!

I'm Slim Shady, and yes, I'm real grating,
I talk like Peter Brady, and it's irritating,
I know you're saying Slim Shady please shut up,
Please shut up.

I'm Slim Shady, and yes, I'm real grating,
I talk like Peter Brady, and it's irritating,
I know you're saying Slim Shady please shut up,
Please shut up.

Wrong Foot Amputated

Parody of "Come Out and Play (Keep 'em Separated)" by the Offspring

Another Bob Rivers classic, this song could be an anthem for the NHS...

He got the wrong foot amputated.

The doctor had compassion,
He tried to cure my disease.
I was sweating on the way to the op room,
Gave me sedatives to put me at ease.

They put me on the gurney in a hospital gown,
They gave me anaesthetic and they strapped my legs down.
"You won't feel a thing," is what the doctor told me,
We're gonna whack it off, whack it off, whack it off, whack it off.

Hey! Man you must be kidding me,
Take a look - he got the wrong foot amputated.
Hey! You shoulda cut the other knee,
Take a bow - he got the wrong foot amputated.
Hey! That leg was fine,
You mean to tell me that this stuff happens all the time?
Hey! This ain't my day!

(SPOKEN: OK, Mr. Johnson. I see you're here for the irreversible vasectomy. Well, we'll just get you shaved right here. This might sting a little bit.)

Don't wanna hear no excuses,
It's already too late,
Don't try to say I got a two-for-one sale,
A woman that I know went through a similar fate.

She came in for a checkup and they tied up her tubes,
Another one had cancer and they took the wrong boob.
The other leg was sick, it was the one with gangrene,
Why didn't they whack it off, whack it off, whack it off, whack it off.

Hey! Man you must be kidding me,
Take a look - he got the wrong foot amputated.
Hey! You shoulda cut the other knee,
Take a bow - he's getting pretty aggravated.
Hey! That leg was fine,
You mean to tell me that this stuff happens all the time?
Hey! This ain't my day!