Richard is by way of by way of being a WCSO institution. A
fourth year physicist at Trinity, Richard has been on the WCSO committee since 1998. In
that time he has been Treasurer, Membership Secretary and all round father figure to the
orchestra. As well as hosting an unbelievable number of fabulous parties and being the
person who delivers the cake to the rehearsals, Richard is one of our flautists, and as
often as not it is he undertaking all the difficult solo passages. Now to let the man
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making
them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike flute playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a
veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I have trialled for the All Blacks,
I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build
large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless
bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy
evening wear. I am a private citizen, yet I receive
fan mail. Last summer I toured Europe with a travelling centrifugal-force
demonstration. I taught Brian Lara how to play cricket, and Jonah Lomu
consults me for rugby advice. My deft floral arrangements have earned
me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis racquets at small moving objects with deadly
accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield
in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that
evening. I know the exact location of every food item in
Sainsbury's. I have performed several covert operations for MI6. I
sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on
holiday in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of
terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not
apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact
origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to
write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only
an egg whisk and a sandwich toaster. I breed prizewinning clams. I
have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri
Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have
performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
My one character flaw is that I am a compulsive liar.
NB Biography based on an article by Hugh Gallagher pll23
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