**** UCPO Digest - Tuesday, 19 October 2004 ****

In this digest:

- Real Orchestra News (TM)
- The Misc Files
- Quotes; Memepool; Stats
- The Pick of Misc

____

  Real Orchestra News (TM): Since most of the seven-odd months(!) since the
last digest have been holidays, there's not much to report on this front. The
Easter Term Concert in West Road was a success: Polovstian Dances under Daniel
(exhilarating); Rhapsody in Blue, with Richard Owen on piano and Katharine
conducting (great fun, and as aubergine-coloured as she'd wanted, I hope); and
finally, Walton's "George V" suite under George C., beautifully English and a
nice break from the standard symphonic repertoire.

  Looking ahead, we've got a new year's intake of freshers - and pretty good
ones by the sound so far - joining us, and a good set of programmes lined up
for this term and beyond. This term, the concerts will be:

  UCPO - Sunday November 21, West Road
     Verdi - "Force of Destiny" overture
     Rachmaninov - Piano Concerto no. 3
     Schubert - Symphony no. 9 (aka no. 7), "The Great"

  Baby - Saturday November 27, Sidney Chapel
     Mendelssohn - "Hebrides" overture
     Gli`re - Horn Concerto
     Beethoven - Symphony no. 6, "Pastoral"

  - see <www.ucpo.org.uk> for full particulars...

  Dates and venues for the Lent and Easter term concerts are yet to be
confirmed, but programmes will include Saint-Säens, Brahms, Holst, and
Hovhaness for UCPO, and Prokofiev, Fauré, and Mozart for Baby, among others.
More details will become available on <www.srcf.ucam.org/ucpo/concert.shtml>
as they're confirmed.

____

  The Misc Files: Since there have been over 5,000 posts since I last
digested, I'm keeping this short and restricting my attention to the last few
weeks - essentially, this term so far. Congratulations incidentally to Welchew
for managing over ten percent of that total.

  Since last year, quite a few miscites have flown the nest and are now at
various other institutions around the country; a recurring feature recently
has thus been their quests for UCPO substitutes, whether in Bath (good),
Nottingham (satisfactory), or Oxford, where there is a non-audition orchestra,
but only one which gives its suggested standard as "preferably diploma",
leading Welchew and Jen to consider founding UOPO, UPOO, WOSO or similar.

  Other than that, Jen also bewailed the vanishing of the pelicans from St.
James' Park, wondering if the Queen had eaten them, but was reassured of their
safety by James; NatSci's and linguists reared their usual ugly heads but went
away when we shut our eyes; and Rob had a lifelong dream come true when he saw
Stephen Hawking.  In more consequential news, we rejoiced over Gardies' stay
of execution, and had a few pub trips and a meal at Dojo's.

  On a related note, Jon Storey thought that Sarah M. had spent two days
sleeping with postmen, and in an even more traumatic experience, Jen found a
term-old opened packet of cream crackers. A still more traumatised Sarah
Reynolds complained that she was feeling old; the fourth-years complained that
this only made them feel even older, and the older graduates kept a wary
silence, except for Rob, who accused us all of being sad and middle-aged.

  We could at least unite in mocking Frankie for being a boaty, and clinically
diagnosed as such by the medics; more worthy objects of our contepmt also
included car-breakers ("goddamn lowlifes") and inarticulate defenders of the
incumbent Bush, goaded by the Guardian's forays into international diplomacy
into groundless criticisms of our NHS and unwhitened teeth (especially Ed's).

  Alsion got excited about bookshops, Richard about journals that actually pay
you money when they print your papers, Harris about becoming a pub landlord
(no exams!), and Sarah Morgan about too-bluesy-to-be-true saxophonists busking
in the rain. Several of us even got excited by Jon Storey's first foray into
the world of puzzle-seeting (see memepool below). In the spirit of nostalgia,
though, I'll leave the last words to Rob, in uncharacteristically maudlin
mood:

  'Oh Mark, think back, think back to times when Jasmin was more than just a
tea and we were all happy german girls, oh hitler youth girls, blondes have so
much more fun, bouncing volleyballs like clothed nudists, so serene under the
hostile oppression - think back, Mark, think back to the Tandoori Palace, when
meals were set and drink prices even more so, but at a greater price than
afore envisaged. Happy times, happy times, naive times before hatred began in
this horrific world.'

  An inspiring thought, I think, for us all to bear in mind as the new
academic year commences. God bless us, every one. Dutifully yours,

 'til next time,
 -p.

____

  Quotes:

'I keep confusing pelicans with flamingoes... leading to very strange mental
images...'
  -- Phil

'The ice rink in Dudley used to have a continental "Anal Dilation avec Ice
Skate Blade" night.'
  -- Rob (who else?)

'The poodle's been there since at least last term. It might be the manager for
all I know.'
  -- Tom

'Madge! A friend of mine threw up in his house in the first year. *misty
eyes*'
  -- Dave S.

'waaah.  drove into a wall in my driving test.
 if you're going to fail i suppose you might as well at least fail in
style..........'
  -- Frankie

'That will be me with all of many multiple personalities.'
  -- Sarah R. (again, who else?)

'It smells nice, though, which is always important with textbooks.'
  -- Dave S.

'Harris is at Birmingham College, Cambridge (and no longer has a first name).'
  -- Phil

*bounces enthusiasically, slightly scaring other people in shiny new english
library*
*stops*
*bounces some more*
  -- Alsion

'When I were a lad, I were politer to my elders. Oooh arrrrrrrrr.'
  -- Gnome

'Being young is the grim bit, age as quikely as possible, this UCPOites is my
manifesto.....'
  -- Sarah R.

'I've always found "Written in Blood" by Colin Wilson to be a useful source of
ideas.'
  -- Richard E.

'An †berharris is just what a Harris becomes upon reaching a certain degree of
†berheit.'
  -- Ed

'Gawain does indeed rock. Chaucer only sways slightly and occasionally (except
for the Wife of Bath).'
  -- Alsion

'...but yeah, when I rule the world from the interpreting booth, there'll be
fear and terror all right...'
  -- Alejandro the Mercilessnull

Oh, and the Daisy Award for imaginative adjectivation goes to Ed Sanjana for
his gratuitous insertion of the word 'circumflexesque'.

____

  Memepool:

<www.srcf.ucam.org/~awnr2/cgo/> - a cut above?

<http://193.151.73.87/games/lemmings/> - productivity-killer of the term

<www.sheffieldice.net/4937/index.html> - "...still maintains good old family
values." At an ice rink.

<http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/essex/3715120.stm> - killer ladybirds,
from a IA biology lecturer

<www.srcf.ucam.org/cuwocs> - Other religious societies too unambitious for you
in their aims? Try CUWOCS.

<www.bbc.co.uk/asiannetwork/silverstreet/> - Cambridge Physicists hit the big
screen

<www.birminghamitsnotshit.co.uk> - really, the name says it all. Courtesy of
Emmy.

<www.hadtoplayon.com> - "JStozz's Mathematical Mayhem" - register to pit your
wits against smooth ex-UCPO percussionist Jon Storey in this fiendishly
eclectic online challenge.

<www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1299645,00.html> - Does it really warrant
coverage in a national newspaper? We're not complaining, though!

<www.geocities.com/robrich18/quiz.html> - Another quizmaster from among our
ranks

<www.rathergood.com/lalala/> and <www.rathergood.com/elephant/> - two good
recent additions to a classic site, chosen by Fan and Welchew respectively.

<www.ebaumsworld.com/bananaphone.html> - in a similar vein, but somewhat more
disturbing

<www.nike.com/usa/nikesphere/> - evil, but with a sense of humour

<www.xgenstudios.com/play/motherload/> - not for the weak of will or addictive
of personality

<www.srcf.ucam.org/~eg262> - photos from the post-baby meal. And of kittens.

<www.guardian.co.uk/uselections2004/story/0,13918,1329858,00.html> -
grass-roots politics in action.

____

  Stats (covering the entire period since last digest):

      1 dang_thang
      1 mwr23
      1 rao26
      1 subfonic
      1 world_lotto1
      2 ih220
      2 mit21
      4 rjc46
      6 jmc85
      7 hke20
     11 vcw25
     12 keh35
     13 eg262
     14 eas55
     18 jgj25
     23 clk25
     30 statsengine
     31 sjh217
     34 sak39
     41 dpar2
     43 scs43
     45 rge21
     52 scj29
     62 cjp40
     65 mgp28
     74 sfm23
     80 var25
     81 haw22
     83 jpsa
     83 nw215
    112 jrp44
    128 tjop2
    138 fy209
    147 djh59
    154 sjc64
    156 jic23
    173 ahfw2
    195 fes27
    208 ser39
    209 rmr26
    212 pll23
    237 camw3
    242 jah76
    257 aks41
    321 pgp24
    328 jds36
    361 das48
    574 dew22

   5073 total

____

  And finally, The Pick of Misc - a verbatim extract to suitably caution any
freshers wondering about joining us:

>Jen: Have just found, in the wonders of stuff that my parents have
>just brought up, an opened packet of cream crackers that I bought at
>the beginning of last term... nice.

>Frankie: It could be worse - could have been unopened cream that you
>bought at the beginning of last term....

>Simon C.: Or even worse - opened cream.

>Simon S.: Or even worse - a headless corpse

>Rob: Or even worse, a headed corpse with a [censored for being Rob] in
>its mouth.

Just to end the digest on a nice appetising note.

-- 
Peter LeFanu Lumsdaine

"I shall cast out Wisdom and reject Learning;
My thoughts shall wander in the silent Void."
        -Hsi K'ang
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