In this month's digest:
 - orchestra news
 - gossip and chat
 - quotes
 - memepool
 - statistics
 - birthday list

*** Orchestra News ***

 - Both the Philharmonia and UCPO concerts were sold out (a first for this
term). Varsity reviewed the baby concert extremely favourably.
 - Next term's programme will include Elgar's 'Cello Concert in Em and
Rachmaninoff's 2nd Symphony (main orchestra); with the Philharmonia doing
Beethoven's 9th Symphony and Mozart's Flute and Harp Concerto.
 - Both concerts were followed by interesting parties. Photos will start to
emerge over the next week, as I update the website. If you have some photos
of any orchestra parties, drop me an e-mail...
 - Assorted pub trips will be happening over the holiday. Most of these are
announced on misc - although they may occasionally filter through to the
social list too.
 - The misc list is expanding as we assimilate new members... join us, you
cannot escape...

*** Gossip and Chat ***
 - E-mail viruses (again)
 - Bad formal hall food and where to get it
 - Smurfs
 - Cats (possibly transgendered ones)
 - Richard's letter in TCS
 - Parties! (including unconsciousness, rants, lemon-macheteing, aftershock,
gin and hairdressing)
 - Good news/bad news
 - Ways to stop nazis (including the BNP)
 - The neverending game of Mornington Crescent (as MC station itself was
closed for the fire strikes)
 - Quotes and more parties
 - The return of Nick
 - Birthdays

*** Quotes ***

This is a bumper month for quotes, thanks to the number of people taking
note of what was said in various parties...
 - "Gnome comes in bitesize pieces" - jrp
 - "thankfully I can't see but they are definitely fucking recorders" - fes
 - "Will the public never tire of these 'fucking /noun/' jokes?" - das
 - "Chocolate flavoured tea anyone?" - djh
 - "You're my beshtest fuggin' mates and I fuggin love ye." - das
 - "'People keep asking me if I'm a gay hairdresser" - dew
 - "'hyppytyynytyydytys', apparently meaning 'bouncy cushion satisfaction'
in Finnish." - nw
 - "I hate Fluids" - pll
 - "Don't encourage him to flaunt his knib around, we'll never hear the end
of it..." - dew
 - "james percival is addicted to sucking becky's fingers" - googlism.com
 - "wcso is run by a group of people with nothing better to do" -
 - "I'm getting slapped more at the moment, but I'm liking it." - os
 - "What is it with men that you always want to pull my tassle!" - camw
 - "That one was my fault, wasn't it? It was all dangly, it needed
pulling" - djh
 - "I never have the courage to make a soufflé; it's like sex in that
there's the danger of it not rising to the occasion." - (unattributed list
 - "I love the smell of aftershock in the morning" - var
 - "Forwards, backwards and sideways with a pistachio nut and a rusty barge
pole" - pll (allegedly)
 - "where do we start?  Stop fellating your fingers boy!" - pll (also
 - "You can stroke my boyfriend too if you want" - nw
 - "I didn't think he was the type" - tjop
 - "my mouth's still vibrating" - fes
 - "you're not naked? Oh shit" - paulR
 - "please put a rocket up Rob's arse, light it and stand back" - nasz
 - "I can't make dog noises very well.  Woof woof!" - vcw25
 - "you do need to work on your doggy style" - paulR
 - "it was just a random poke" - djh
 - "I'm hornier than a porcupine" - nasz
 - "I've had it both ways" - djh
 - "James shags parrots as well as porpoises" - nw
 - "and david has passed out in his own hed...." - unattributed
 - "Bend over Pedro...Rob has to perform boyfriendly duties!!" - nasz
 - "Women are sensitive about their fullsome funbags" - jrp
 - "I'm an agnostic, but if there is a god it is probably me" - mrp
 - "Did I tell you about my horrific accident with mung beans?" - das
 - "Go on... gay orgy! You know you want one!" - das

*** Quotes Special: At the Maypole (courtesy of Harris) ***

Bk->Oli: I'm not going to date rape you: you'd probably be incapable.
Bk->Tom:I was scratching my leg and got yours.
Tom (to a random scared-looking bloke) Are you dripping on me?
Phil: You get someone else to do the hands. (to Vicki, I think?)
Gnome->Phil: I got a first in you!
Tom: Other people's armadilloes are not my fault.
James: (for Rob's benefit) Harris, draw me like one of your French girls.
Harris: Why is there no sex in Physics?
Bk: We talked about it, we never did it.

*** Memepool ***
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Cinema/3117/sociosmurf2.htm more than one
female smurf...
l&org2=l rhymes
http://www.cam.ac.uk/societies/cums/i/whoswho.htm *chuckles evilly*
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/2440495.stm big noise
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2444675.stm pointless research
http://dictionary.oed.com/cgi/entry/00173796 talk about a pedantic
http://stephenrolph.gotdns.com/queenscollege.html formal hall pics
http://stephenrolph.gotdns.com/photos/110-1017_img.jpg vs.
im_driven_up_the_wall.shtml all Queens' mathmos are the same person...
weird Norfolk people
http://www.changingtheclimate.com/ *curses the school run*
http://www.orwellpolice.com/Crimetip.htm not actually a pisstake
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/2484195.stm silly news story OTD
http://yoga.tripod.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso.swf shoyu!
ml muahahaha
http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20021119.html new look
for Harris
ng.asp rail travel for the indecisive
ref%3Dsr%5F2%5F2/002-5921635-5694455 immature link OTD (check the clothing
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/showbiz/2481467.stm if you keep
playing with it it'll fall off
http://downlode.org/etext/alicebob.html mathmo humour
http://www.lipsons.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/escher/ascending.html evil things
done with lego
http://www.lipsons.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/lstest.html personality testing
www.beck.com nice streaming music
http://www.tangled.com/acronyms.htm acronyms
http://www.flingthecow.com/flash/default.asp fling the cow
http://www.davidharris.org.uk/wcso/beckyup.jpg note be-afro'd Jon
http://www.lemonbovril.co.uk/bushspeech/ DIY Bush speech
http://www.encorecbt.com/clients/nationwide/ world's worst help desk
http://www.indiana.edu/~wanthro/pepee.jpg when you really need glistening
http://www.dog-diaper.com/ check out the movie... poor dog...
http://www.innermint.com/ chlorophyll does /what/ now?
http://www.koekie.org.uk/funnel/ and
http://www.rethink.demon.co.uk/laugh.html Chris Morris
http://www.raptureletters.com/ stupid site OTD
Dave moonlighting?
http://www.simoncottrellmotorsport.com/ and Simon
http://www.jjdash.demon.co.uk/WCSO/pedro-1.jpg and
http://www.jjdash.demon.co.uk/WCSO/pedro-2.jpg vs.
http://skanksagenda.virtualave.net/skank1/intro.html teenage angst bullshit
http://www.hants.gov.uk/hchs/fcases.html yes, losing diaries is a bad
http://www.notam02.no/9/index.html strangely beautiful
http://www.srcf.ucam.org/ucpo/photos/2001mich/html/God_knows.html Nick
wearing tights?
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=443 software
www.dolphinsex.org tasteless
http://www.actaeon.org/faqs/birdsexfaq.txt *really* tasteless
http://www.assotron.com/arse-or-elbow/ can you tell your arse from your
er-reviews/thedvdforums-20/104-2979054-8745511 well-reviewed
http://www.jonathonrobinson.com/3.0/web/webtsos.html old but good, based on
http://www.theblackforge.net/ game of the day
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/santy.html santa is satan!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/sermons/colon.html do you have demons in your
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/54/28245.html laptop in bed = bad idea
http://media.guardian.co.uk/advertising/story/0,7492,853835,00.html awful
statistics, but funny
http://vm.cfsan.fda.gov/~mow/chap43.html cook the beans
http://www.theregister.co.uk/media/960.jpg traditional christian values
http://www.madblast.com/view.cfm?type=FunFlash&display=1840 Star Trek slash
meets flash...
http://www.lemonbovril.co.uk/funwithlemons/index.html frustrating...
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1202/twotowers.html yet another Landover
link :)

*** UCPO Misc Stats ***

      1 dpar2
      1 jmc85
      1 rao26
      2 acm45
      2 kjt27
      3 cjp40
      5 jah76
      6 hlr25
      8 fy209
      8 mrh30
     11 mit21
     12 rjc46
     14 vcw25
     15 clk25
     16 sjc64
     19 ih220
     21 rge21
     25 ahfw2
     25 sak39
     28 jpsa
     32 paul
     34 fi
     50 pgp24
     57 rmr26
     58 am465
     63 camw3
     66 mgp28
     74 var25
     76 tjop2
     82 jic23
     86 nasz2
     87 srk29
     93 nw215
     99 os227
    101 jrp44
    103 djh59
    121 pll23
    185 jds36
    188 dew22
    260 fes27
    263 das48

   2401 total

Dave has finally managed to overtake Francesca in the spam stakes...

That's getting disturbingly close to a hundred mails a day... or a total of
six entire days lost as everyone on the list read through this stuff...

*** Birthday List ***
(in year order)
Harris   19-02-79
Mel      05-02-81
Anna     08-03-79
Sarah    14-03-82
Jimbo    25-04-81
Becky    30-04-81
Fan      22-05-84
Hannah   07-07-84
Caroline 26-07-83
Paul     04-08-77
Frankie  18-09-84
Welchew  22-09-78
Phil     24-09-84
Gnome    10-10-79
Vicki    13-10-82 (that's trinity vicki)
Sarah K  15-10-82
Jennie   30-10-82
John     20-11-58
Pedro    23-11-82
Jon S    26-11-81
Alex W   28-11-81
Isobel   04-12-81
Alex M   14-12-82

Nick won't admit his DoB, but he's 25 soon ;)

PS People who've mailed me - I'll get back to you, honest... *has been
buried in work*

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