In this edition:
 - Orchestra news
 - Random crap we talked about
 - Quotes and insults
 - Memepool
 - Statistics

** Orchestra News **
 - We had a huge formal hall at Queens'. Followed by a Philharmonia
rehearsal the next afternoon. People weren't looking too healthy...
 - We lost our 'cello soloist, but then were given a new one.
 - The orchestra table football team started what may be a great run of
losses in the university league...
 - Dr. Mark has become a dad :)
 - This term's music is at

** Random Crap **
 - People complained at the low volume on the list...
 - Gnome had a birthday.
 - People philosophised, argued, and randomly beat the keyboard with their
heads about drunkenness.
 - Three new people were assimilated into the list, and Nick escaped
(although not before posting 139 times)
 - Everyone looked up what invention they were at thesurrealist.co.uk (see
 - We dissected the bugbear virus
 - Jonathan was on Channel 5 failing to win 3000
 - Clare had a housewarming party
 - One of Rob's friends temporarily joined us from Japan
 - the formal hall organisation got a little stressful...
 - Supervisions and why they're good/bad to give/receive
 - Rob and Nick tried to out-perverse each other
 - We had a full game of Mornington Crescent, complete with one group of
people complaining they didn't know the rules, and another group trying to
claim there were none...
 - Rob posted a lot of stuff sadly too long to reproduce here
 - We took apart some spam
 - There was an argument over formal vs informal clothing
 - Which is the best Bond film?
 - Linguists discussed languages. Again. And Again. And Again.
 - Dying hardware

** Quotes and insults **
 - "In a word...fuck! No...in another word...arse!" - Nick
 - "run run run run run run WHOOSH" - Francesca
 - "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's irony going straight over your head!" -
 - "Cum-fantasising you say?" - Pedro
 - "My posterior distribution is lovely, it just has a long tail..." -
   - "Ah, that explains the hair on your back. You're actually a monkey. A
      monkey. A mad medic monkey." - Jimbo
 - "Oh on the note of 1-1 supervisions I imagine they're like Greek sex" -
 - "anal sex with Janet Street-Porter" - Nick
 - "Oh buggering bolocking cunting wanking arsing god-forsaken shit-talking
motherfucking!" - Nick
 - "Life is like a bowling alley - oh, you make some strikes, if you're
lucky a couple of spares, and nobody knows how to tell the score... but in
the end, you've got to rent ill-fitting smelly shoes that stink" - Ren and
- "Why yes...Tom and I are often known to flagellate each other..." - Rob
- "Helen says she'll come" - Tom
- "Give me a nice sensible jug of liquid nitrogen any day of the week." -
- "You were not exposed at a tender age to the horrows of the David Welchew
Finals Crisis Pyromaniac Phase" - Fi
- "geese, lamp posts, cows udders.  you lot are weird" - Francesca
- "someone's stolen my teapot" - Jonathan
- "You possible future lies on one of two paths laid out in front of you.
One leads to fame, fortune and general prosperity. The other leads to having
your lungs ripped out with a meat hook next time we meet." - Richard
- "Well Gnome and I share the same tongue sometimes" - Jimbo
- "I have to say I've never been accused of being a squid-god before" -

** UCPO Memepool **
http://weblog.burningbird.net/archives/000581.php - geek humour
http://www.srcf.ucam.org/ucpo/sum/faq.html - SUM FAQ...
.pdf - insane physicists (read the bottom section)
http://blogs.salon.com/0001111/images/2002/10/02/worsethanwethought.jpg -
It's worse than we thought
http://www.theodoregoddard.co.uk/ - 'full of ming' says Rob...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/funny_old_game/2337031.stm - anyone know a
female Canaries fan?
http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html - ever been cold-called?
http://www.nme.com/news/103255.htm - everything I do...
http://www.illegal-art.org/contract.html - terms and conditions
http://www.geocities.com/robrich18/tunes.html - phoneline symphony in MIDI
http://www.artnet.com/Magazine/people/barone/barone12-11-10.asp - and now -
the oral sex!
http://psywww.human.metro-u.ac.jp/sakusi/gallery/soccer/index_e.htm -
instant eye-strain
http://www.robinson.cam.ac.uk/info/index.php - spot the lack of red brick
http://www.isihac.co.uk/games/gamesm.html - Anyone for a game of...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/uk/newsid_2262000/2262284.stm - DaveS vs
Harry Potter
.gif - this is anal
http://www.geocities.com/robrich18/naughty.jpg - bad bad Blue Peter person
http://www.mego.at/ram/mego022a.ram - music
103-8064106-1746206?v=glance&vi=reader&img=1#reader-link - melting dogs
http://www.geocities.com/robrich18/Bill.jpg - spot the UCPOite
http://www.idealibrary.com/links/doi/10.1006/nimg.2002.1246 *blows own
trumpet* - download all this
http://www.bianca.org/generator/ - party generator
http://www-users.york.ac.uk/~nfl1/ - Pedro's mum...
http://www.uymp.co.uk/text/lumsdaine.html ...and dad
http://www.b3ta.com/patrickmoore/patrick.swf Patrick Moore plays the
http://www.b3ta.com/board/4/4/6/1/1/3 - no comment :)
http://www.reformation.org/smallpox_cure.html - conspiracy of the day
http://www.rachelscloset.com/1swim/RYGY/Pages/Zulu.htm - Mel moonlighting
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2402363.stm - *kicks society*
http://www.somethingawful.com/archives/daily/news-archive-6-11-2002.htm -
making politics more interesting [will work from tomorrow]
http://www.swordofjustice.tv/ - insane bloke of the day
http://www.dopewars.net - join the UCPO syndicate

***UCPO Misc Stats***

      1 fellatiojames
      1 jah76
      3 clk25
      5 rao26
      8 rjc46
     11 ih220
     12 am465
     12 kjt27
     13 mit21
     17 sjc64
     18 cjp40
     19 paul
     20 jpsa
     24 mrh30
     25 camw3
     26 mgp28
     26 rge21
     34 os227
     36 djh59
     39 fi
     41 pll23
     42 ahfw2
     43 var25
     58 jrp44
     64 jic23
     76 nw215
     79 jds36
     86 tjop2
    114 das48
    122 rmr26
    139 nasz2
    154 dew22
    207 fes27

   1575 total

1575 mails * 39 active list members = 61,425 incidences of time-wasting
thanks to the list... if each mail takes an average 5 seconds to read,
that's over three and a half UCPO-days lost...

Another digest will be coming along Real Soon Now [1]

[1] December. If you're lucky.

©UCPO 2002-17, design by David Welchew