04/02/03

In this, my last digest:
 - UCPO News
 - Orchestra gossip and chat
 - Quotes
 - Annual Dinner Quotes
 - Poll
 - Memepool
 - Statistics

**UCPO NEWS**

We held our first AGM as UCPO. Various minor amendments to the constitution
were passed, including the creation of a new named post of Webmaster. The
new committee is:

Named posts:
 Francesca Sanjana - Chair
 Richard Owen - Treasurer
 Caroline Williams - Membership Secretary
 Vicki Rainsley - Librarian
 Peter Lumsdaine - Webmaster (/ Publicity)

Unnamed posts:
 Claire Pike - Secretary
 Mark Pritchard - Venues / Social Secretary
 Sarah Ashurst-Williams - Publicity / Refreshments

We had our first annual dinner at Girton, followed by a party (photos coming
soon to a website near you...). The concerts this term will be on March 9th
(UCP) and provisionally March 14th (UCPO).


**UCPO Gossip and Chat**
Mark redefined the concept of scripting... Nick discussed sneezing
fetishes... Nick is 'old'... Rob posted some new stories... Simon Cottrell's
younger sister arrived on the list, and was joined by a returning Beccy...
Rob searched for himself and found a link to 'Sensible Erection: Retards on
Parade'... Paul drank an /obscene/ amount of coffee while some more
adventurous UCPOites drank all my alcohol... Alex had a party after driving
here from Spain... Everyone complained about the new licensing bill, that
could wreck the orchestra's finances (and kill live music in general)...
there was an orchestra rounders match... Harris auditioned for The Weakest
Link (unsuccessfully)... we discussed pairs of drinks for alcoholic chess
(despite piss vs. blood being a well-supported suggestion, port vs. petite
peche were eventually used)... people talked about *shock horror*
instruments and music... statistically optimal methods for finding
girlfriends... the north vs. south divide and snow... Epstein-Barr virus...
quality boyfriends...


**UCPO Quotes**
"You're a philistine who doesn't appreciate lovely beard smell." - Gnome (to
Harris)
"Look, I nearly snogged him once, isn't that enough for you?" - Harris (to
Gnome)
"Harris is NOT a man" - Becky
"I rowed down my road earlier. Does that make me a boatie?" - Sarah
"Does anyone want to see me in a swimsuit?" - Becky
"JC, you'll be pleased to know I now understand the phenomenon of 'whiskey
headache'" - Vicki
"my left testical has swollen so large that its diameter has increased
beyond the length of my right leg" - Rob
"Beckychu, I choose you!" - DaveS
"I always remembered trigonometry by saying "To Organise A Sex Orgy Have
Condoms At Hand"..." - Chris
"It's a sad state of affairs if I'm the voice of mannishness on the list" -
DaveS
"It only involved me putting on all the leather garments I could find,
wrapping my arms and legs round Harris and having a huge vibrating thing
between my legs for 4 hours..." - Francesca
"The illustrious Ms Sanjana is in my bed and won't stop laughing" - Harris


**Annual Dinner Quotes**
"If Nick were here, by now he'd have one of us on each lap" - Pedro
"You don't understand. You're a boy. Pedro understands." - Francesca
"I do not vibrate" - Harris
"You can have my nuts if you want" - JonathanS
"Isn't it supposed to be his hands doing that to me?" - Francesca
"I might lick Francesca's up if I'm not satisfied with my own" - Pedro


**UCPO Poll**

In response to James hinting at marriage online, we held a poll entitled
"Should Gnome accept Jimbo's (possible) on-line proposal, and either marry
him or form a civil partnership with him (as we're a modern orchestra)?"...
the results are now in:

      2 unmarriedgnome
     12 marryjimbo

     14 total


**UCPO Memepool**
http://www.e-salamanca.net/juegos/tunos.htm - kill the student buskers
http://www.geocities.com/robrich18
http://www.versiontracker.com - for the machugger in your life
http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html - exposing some urban myths
http://www.shipoffools.com/Gadgets/Kitschmas02/index.html - Kitschmas
http://www.spies.com/~gus/ran/0012/antiporn/ - fuckwit of the month
http://www.framleyexaminer.co.uk/advertcalendar/presents/orrery.html - need
a gift idea?
http://www.ntk.net/2000/02/25/moscow.gif - before the days of the forwarded
e-mail joke...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bloodyvenus - the net should be restricted
to those over 18...
http://quizilla.com/users/londonbelow/quizzes/Which%20Dysfunctional%20Care%2
0Bear%20Are%20You%3F/
http://www.rancon.co.uk/sober/index.html
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,867823,00.html - bizarre news
http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/ - kittens
http://www.rathergood.com/vines/ - scary kittens...
http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2002/12/29/143759/24 - infuriating news of the
month
http://www.yugop.com/ver3/stuff/03/fla.html - unusual clocks
http://www.musiciansunion.org.uk/articles/
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld200203/ldbills/001/2003001.htm
http://www.petitiononline.com/2inabar/petition.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2656705.stm - trolling on a national
scale
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=UCPO
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/static/games/celeb_bathtime/index.stm -
your chance for a bath with Gareth Gates...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/2666137.stm - goddamn govermnent
http://www.srcf.ucam.org/~vgw20/rowing/how.htm - animated Mel...
http://makeviolins.webcraftcam.com/repairs.html - violin repair
http://www.alaskool.org/language/Tlingit/Dog_Point_CD2.htm - learn a new
language
http://www.clint.ca/oops/
http://www-staff.psychiatry.cam.ac.uk/~dew22/setalp.gninnips.ekil.mp3
http://www.microwavecookingforone.com/Meats.html
http://www.mondominishows.com/shows/happy_tree_friends/ - cartoons of the
month
http://www.angelfire.com/va/randomlyweird/russcomp.html - which Russian
composer are you?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/arts/hisdarkmaterials/index.html - Pullman
online
http://www.thebrainstrust.co.uk/article.51.2649.html - access...
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2003/01/os_quiz.php - which OS are you?
http://law.upenn.edu/%7Emmelzer/sotudg/ - State of the Union drinking
game...
http://www.batman.is/ut/7876 - game of the month
http://www.seethru.co.uk/zine/south_coast/helicopter_game.htm  - and another
http://games.yahoo.com/games/collapse.html - and /another/
http://www.newgrounds.com/santa.html - one more
http://homepage.virgin.net/vernon.jenkins/PS.htm - creationism on A4
paper...
http://www.extremeironing.com
http://www.ugly-midis.de.vu/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sportacademy/hi/fun/games/newsid_2333000/2333541.stm -
OK, one more...
http://www.idleworm.com/nws/2002/11/iraq2.html
http://www.cs.ubc.ca/spider/kvdoel/bells/bells.html - the bells...


**UCPO Stats**
      1 dpar2
      2 hlr25
      2 ih220
      2 jah76
      2 srk29
      3 ch301
      4 mrh30
      4 sak39
      6 cjp40
      6 sjc64
      7 jmc85
      9 rao26
     10 mit21
     10 rge21
     12 nasz2
     14 camw3
     14 clk25
     14 vcw25
     15 rjc46
     16 fy209
     21 jpsa
     28 fi
     31 pgp24
     39 ahfw2
     44 tjop2
     45 am465
     53 rch35
     54 mgp28
     57 paul
     61 pll23
     67 nw215
     73 djh59
     83 var25
     96 os227
    103 jic23
    104 rmr26
    109 jds36
    114 jrp44
    145 das48
    175 fes27
    176 dew22

   1831 total

Going out on top there :)

Right, that's it from me - it's been an interesting year... *takes a bow and
hands over to Pedro*

David

©UCPO 2002-17, design by David Welchew