The UCPO Digest

The UCPO digest used to be a bi-weekly e-mail sent to subscribers of both soc-ucpo-misc and soc-ucpo-digest, which has unfortunately ceased to be a possibility in the hectic buzz of life. It summarised recent activity on misc, as well as giving any important news about the orchestra itself. The style of the digest always depended on the preferences of the webmaster (as well as how stressed they were at the time...). [To be honest, bi-weekly's a bit optimistic. Welchew managed it once a month or so; with others, bi-yearly's pushing your luck. - pll23]

The most recent digest follows:

UCPO Digest April/May 2006

OK, so you knew the regularity of the UCPO digest had become to good to be true! On the 
other hand, the lack of digest last month means that you can now get a fun-packed 
two-for-the-price-of-one double edition! Enjoy :-)

In this digest:

1) Orchestra News
2) Best of Misc
3) Quotes
4) Memepool
5) Stats
1) Orchestra News

As it has been mainly holidays and exam term for most people over the last couple of months, 
there doesn't seem to have been much happening in UCPO land. Rehearsals are underway for 
the next concert, which will be on Sunday June 18th (Suicide Sunday, as pointed out to us 
very forcefully by the brass section - wonder why that could be .......) in Trinity Chapel. 
The programme is Tchaikovsky Symphony No. 2 (Little Russian) as requested by 'I'm not drunk' 
Nigel, Chabrier Espana and Mahler's Kindertotenleider - hope to see as many of you as possible 

Claire Kirkpatrick is now Dr. Claire having passed her viva, Vicki went to Tanzania and 
returned again and Chris was promoted in style to head of Performing Arts - muchos congrats 
to all :-)


2) Best of Misc

On the whole an quiet month for misc - the 'where has everyone gone' e-mail has been posted 
at least twice. Having said that, fact that an e-mail about Pedro's suede shoes provoked the 
most extreme response of the month may be related to this! In keeping with tradition, 
prgramming queries and the interbrability (is that even a word?) of the bible put in an
appearance, and KoL threatened to rear its head again - we apologise to Vicki R if the 
repeated venting of her spleen has resulted in permantant damage. 

Phil started off the month be rasing an impressive 259 for charity be abseiling off the 
Forth Rail Bridge. Kilts with pockets continued the Scottish theme, even if they were accused 
of being man-skirts in disguise. Testosterone levels were restored by Harris's new motorbike, 
although 0-60 in 4.5s might not be sufficient to be able to chase the sunset. We failed to 
observe 01:02:03 04/05/06, but have put 11:11:11, 11/11/11 and 06:05:04, 03/02/01 in our 
diaries, although whether the true spirit of misc will have lasted long enough to appreciate 
the latter is perhaps debatable. We discovered that PE is now a performing art, and that 
Swahalog is similar to Tagili.

Vicki's sanity suffered yet more damage as she dealt with evil NHS forms and computers in 
one go, and didn't even manage to make it to the beer festival to recover. Chris realised that 
he was infact called Andy. Those going to Truck debated the band lineup, although 'Emmy the 
Great' will surely be on everyones must-see list. An impressive example of archaelogical/
anthropological bollocks kept us entertained for a while, and we again agreed that American 
Christian Fundamentalists  were a bad thing. My spelling was criticised, and we spent many 
an evening in the pub. All's well in the world of misc. 

3) Quotes

I googled "monkey shame" and got a website about Chuck Norris. - Alsion

I was for a while in a job where all I did was play minesweeper and solve the company's 
nationwide distribtion problems. - Chris P

If you put "wikipedia" into google, the second result is the wikipedia entry under "wikipedia"...
 - Simon
No less randomly, when you put "Stotfold" into Wikipedia, it says "to live in Stotfold, one 
has to have 100 and a pig".
 - Chris P

According to a French TV documentary, the new Messiah is alive and well and living in Belgium.  
Blessed are the Eurocrats... - Alex

The atheist's nightmare is in fact a banana. - Phil

Rob, you do realise it's abuse like this that makes misc so quiet... - Emmy

I'd rather misc died an inhuman death than have to put up with tips on moisturising suede shoes. 
Greyscale I can cope with Tom's linguistics, I can ignore. But this, well, it's just no interest 
to anyone (surely). - Rob

Maybe, Rob, it's just part of my master plan to drive you slowly and subtly insane until you 
collapse, mindless, and do my lascivious bidding.  - Pedro

Hmm, finding a naked texan in the bathtub and the floor covered in vomit, not a pretty sight 
first thing on a hangover.  - Pedro

Which proves another eternal truth, that the only job worth having in the music business is 
being bob dylan, or failing that, being Larry campbell, his recently departed and touchingly 
moustachioed multi- instrumentalist - Simon

This reminds me of our bizarre school song, whose lyrics included "Sing, leopards, sing." No, 
really... - Ed Sanjana

If people had tails, would they then be monkeys? - Ed Sanjana

Ha ha, are you (committee) off your faces? I know I will be! - Rob

Wicked, wicked, junglist massive etc etc *does walking through treacle dance* - Dave Sim

If someone had told me five years ago that after getting my Cambridge degree I would end up
as a PE teacher in Stevenage, I would have been, at the very least, surprised. - Chris P

It's OK, I've found the magic button. *feels spread of calmness and light* - Vicki R

If it makes you feel any better, I just got phoned up by Brian Jordans asking about how to get 
in touch with Richard Owen... *does the not-on-the-committee dance* 
 - Alsion
*does the so-far-off-the-committee-that-even-Brian-Jordans-have-twigged dance*
 - Vicki R

*makes frantic someone stop-them-they're-only-minutes-away-from-talking-about-bloody-Latex-again 
flapping movements*
 - Vicki R

If anyone's going to Stoke, they should take a bullet-proof jacket and their martial arts skills. 
Or so I've been told... - Dave Sim

Yes, but no-one can come up with a like reply to that one, because we don't have sex on misc...
 - Ed Sanjana
Why do I feel slightly apprehensive when I read that? On second thoughts, I probably don't want 
to know. - Sarah K

I don't think it's physically  possible to do everything that the Catholic Church forbids you to. 
- Pedro to Alsion

You never got 'stunning feats of orgainisation' when Pedro was doing the website. But then, you 
didn't get many stunning feats of organisation either... - Dave Sim

Brian the Walrus was walking down Penny Lane one day, when suddenly he met his old friend Rita, 
who was on Abbey Road, checking out a yellow VW to make sure it had put enough money in the meter. 
Alas, Brian suddenly realised that, being a walrus, he couldn't, technically speaking, be walking, 
leading him to an existential crisis such that he spent the rest of the day sunk in gloom, until 
a strange old man suddenly accosted him with an urgent plea for help! He'd just come from Blackburn, 
Lancashire (I think irc said it best when it said: "ur all freaks thats what u r") and claimed to 
be...aimed to be...a 6ft caterpillar who ..........

4) Memepool
5) Stats

Rob Richards		41
David Welchew		33
Dave Sim		27
Phil Potter		26
Pedro			25
Ed Sanjana		24
Alex Williams		22
Vicki Rainsley		18
Alison Stanley		17
John Aldridge		16
Simon Smith		14
Chris Phelps		14
Caroline Williams	12
David Harris		11
Emmy Goodby		10
Jonathon Cameron	9
Matthew Whitely		8
Harriet Johnston	8
Mark Galtrey		8
Vicki Wright 		6
Katharine Hubbard	6
Sarah Kendall		6
Paul Ryland		6
David Holland		5
Tom Pullman		4
David Ponting		4
Naomi Ward		4
Bob Nimmo		3
Richard Edgar		3
Helen Eburah		3
Claire Kirkpatrick	3
Mark Pritchard		3
Mihai Swift		2
Jenny Howie		2
Daniel Francis		2
Sarah Morgan		1
Jon Storey		1
Matthew Graham		1
Fan Yang		1
James Percival		1
Alice King		1

Rob is therefore this month's misc champion :-)

Thats all folks
Keep smiling

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