#1
The two-faced issuer of all commands.
Professor Jenson's Slightly Magical Wig
Many years ago, there was a scientist working in the Cavendish Laboratories known to all as Professor Jenson. He was a hard working, studious man whose area of research was unknown to all but a few high ranking officials in MI-5. It was believed by some that he was developing a sonic weapon of mass destruction, but this was not the case. The result of his labours was a hairpiece, but this was no ordinary toupee, for it was imbued with properties that have never before been observed in a wig. The Professor himself was bald, and it was this that had driven him to succeed. He decided as many good scientists have done, that he would be the guinea pig for the Wig. Having finished sewing the last hairs in place, he put The Wig upon his head, looked in the mirror, and saw a face that was not his own. He punched the air in triumph, for he had created the ultimate disguise, a mass of hair that would allow him to pass unnoticed wherever he went. Sadly for Professor Jenson, The Wig developed a mind of its own, and it was not long before The Wig had taken control of the Professor's body. This was more than just a symbiotic relationship; The Wig had total control over the Professor's body. Unfortunately it's demands were great, and the old man's body soon tired under the strain imposed. Professor Jenson died two weeks after first putting on The Wig, but The Wig survived. Through it's slightly magical properties it entices bald men to place it on their heads, then takes total control. Death is only a small obstacle on the way of The Wig to success, The Wig does not need its own body to accomplish its goals...
Father Christmas
Several years running one bearded bringer of goodwill noticed a pattern. He was organising and distributing weapons to lots of people who should be too old for this sort of thing. The one common link, Cambridge. Intent on finding out what was going on Santa deciding to investigate.
September 2001, he noticed the pattern beginning again. After several mince-pies the cold snowy weather was braved and the journey begun. Cambridge is a dark place with many secrets, as our friend was about to find out. "The sledge-station is friggin miles from town" was his first quote on arrival. Lying low for a few weeks and only taking necessary action allowed FX to get closer to the mind of this evil secret. Unfortunately he was killed and as everyone knows Santa doesn't come alive again until the new year. Don't worry about your presents this year, Santa never did any of the work himself anyway, except ten-rag himself, watch out. You ought to be out chasing for that elusive CPS.
His quest continues next year...
James
One dark, cold, stormy night James crashed and found himself shipwrecked. As if it were planned, two cold figures almost immediately moved from the darkness to the wreck and carried James to relative safety. Upon inspection he was badly misfunctioning and was screaming whenever scissors were brought into view. A partial brain transplant was delicately performed, the first and only time this has ever been attempted. After days of surgery the creation was complete but still the brain would not communicate with other parts of the body. This is yet to be fixed, and will probably never be. What they had created was outstanding. The psychopathic killer. Now he slides quietly around the town never in daylight trying to find the perfect brain.
Babylonian Dave
Hammurabi was the ruler who chiefly established the greatness of Babylon, the world's first metropolis. Many relics of Hammurabi's reign ([1795-1750 BC]) have been preserved, and today we can study this remarkable King as a wise law-giver in his celebrated code. The code regulates in clear and definite strokes the organization of society. The judge who blunders in a law case is to be expelled from his judgeship forever, and heavily fined. The witness who testifies falsely is to be slain. Indeed, all the heavier crimes are made punishable with death.
Hammurabi's spirit lives on today in mortal form, currently residing in the body of Babylonian Dave. The spirit was first passed to him during the Middle Eastern leg of the Stones' "Bridges to Babylon" World Tour. Since then, Dave has appeared in Babylon Zoo's "Spaceman" music video and in season 4 of Babylon 5. Although he may appear to be friendly individual, Babylonian Dave follows Hammurabi's Code devoutly, and is always to keen to dispense justice as he sees fit.
Miss Nobody Important
Some people have killer instincts - she has candyfloss
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...member is currently in hiding so we can't interview him...