Posted 22/01/06
2006 is here. This year Salisbury City will reach the heady heights of the English Conference South but, despite having a defensive record better than Chelsea, it’s unlikely that many members of DCAFC will care. Perhaps of more interest will be the World Cup and, with Downing’s 1st XI struggling to overcome the mighty Corpus in the Shield, the team can be likened to England. Not only do they contain an abundance of talent in midfield but they struggle against shite. Much as I’d like them both to win their respective competitions, it’s as likely as me winning £20k (a 1 in 7 chance)
So which country is the Second XI? That probably depends on your view as to whether they will spring a surprise (an against the odds promotion) or spring a shock (an against the odds relegation). After the brutal game against Catz III, I would probably plum for Turkey. Although not at the World Cup due to an unfortunate November, they may come good in time. And they are almost universally disliked.
The Third XI may not be as good as the Second XI but due to good recent results, have qualified for the World Cup. Everyone’s dead chuffed as they’re doing as well as they can- even though ultimately they might not be able to compete at the top level. They’re like Trinidad and Tobago; they’ve got the passport so they play.
On a personal note, all the pain inflicted on Catz today doesn’t really make up for the fact that a cat decapitated my rabbit over the holidays as Corpus proved there’s little dignity in being a corpse without teeth. Also, I respect JP for being a referee and Bully for being a c**t.
Posted: 23/10/05
I’m a goalkeeper. When I watch a football game, I always look out for the other goalkeepers and it’s fair to say that the goalkeepers provided most the entertainment at the weekend. In truth I can’t find anything nice to say about the Pembroke III ‘keeper’s hair or the Churchill IIIs ‘keeper full stop so I’ll stick to the Downing lads. Suffice to say they both nearly scored during Downing IIs 7-2 thrashing of Churchill IIIs. While Andy Williams was deprived a certain goal by a small headed Downingite’s ‘preditary instincts’ at one end, Brett Griffiths was impressing some girls from New Hall with his performance as linesman. Dave Filtness impressed nobody, despite his six goals for the weekend. The other highlight as a fan was watching Pembroke IIIs. They were all wearing dark blue except for their centre back who was in sky blue. Evidently their sunglasses wearing captain had decided to draw as much attention as possible to his team-mate’s build. No doubt they enjoyed their post-match kebabs though as we scored a comedy own goal to see them through the Vase Preliminary Round.
Downing I may not have enjoyed much of their first half against a good Pembroke but even Chelsea couldn’t win this week; in fact both needed help from a free scoring midfielder to rescue a point. Other than that, I saw that George Burley left Hearts and is going to be replaced by Bobby Robson. Even more surprisingly, the absence of Chris Ringland from the weekend’s matches led to an aggro-free afternoon. Roll on next weekend…
Posted:
16/10/05
Welcome
back to the college league. The discovery that referees
are now allowed to run a match until the home team
equalises may be of no surprise to Manchester United
fans but represented a kick in the teeth for us.
In fact, it was only our Reds supporting captain
who could compete with the brutality exhibited by
Darwin’s approach to football. We could probably
have coped with survival of the fittest, but not
an approach as rough as the ‘pitch’on
which we were playing. On the plus side, well done
to all those who played for more than 5 minutes and
didn’t come within a quarter of an inch of
an own goal.
On
the other hand, the game was thoroughly entertaining
and we can console ourselves with the fact that their
average player will be dead about five years before
us (with the obvious exception of Bully); and that
their players were distinctly average (an interesting
euphemism for shite which football pundits seem to
enjoy).
Having
exhausted the limited comic potential of a bunch
of old men from Darwin who kicked me, I will reflect
briefly on the Premiership. Yesterday, Chelsea
looked like they might lose. They didn’t.
Sunderland looked like they might spring a surprise.
They didn't. Seen it all before? In which case
I won't even start on Newcastle/ Wigan. |
