Quotes!
The following are quotes from 31st November 2006 (the last SKy Blue publication date) and earlier - newest quotes are shown first. (There has been 57 new quotes since the last Sky Blue.)
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Jess: to do stuff to horses.
Jane: Either I'm on drugs or I'm a lesbian.
Ed: One way or another I'm going to end up doing the dogs body
Jane: Are you any good at screwing, David?
Jane: I'm fairly good at small screws
Harriet: You're not blowing my Hoover!
Ben Fryer [on discovering he'd been labouring for hours under a false assumption]: It's going to take half a day to put September back into the year!
Helen F: "No don't [eat me], I'm not very tasty!"
James "I'll try not to wet myself..."
"Men who do Morris dancing are top of my fantasy list!" - Maddy
Michael: I think I'll end up in drag someday.
Helen (hmf): I've gone off weed now.
Ed: "I think David and I have a problem..."
Jane: "Yes... Pyromania"
Andy: My plans for tonight are to look at my laptop and then take it to bed and hug it
Followed by: "Well you would want to hug it too if you saw it; it's beautiful"
Jane: You can usually get men to do whatever you want if you ply them with alcohol
Katie: "Jane, hold me!"
Katie: "Jane, hold onto me!"
Jane: CUSAGC is *officially* bad for you...
Victoria: We could all get into your bed very quickly.
Katie: Michael, when are you going to be in your room?
Ed: "If I were a piece of parachute cord, where would I be hiding...?"
Andy to Jess: Open your legs
David Proctor (Sagely commenting on Fresher recruitment strategies) - "Having a club that's a bit too big so people don't quite get to know each other as well is a lot better than ending up not having a club at all... Because that would be f***ing embarrasing."
Helen F - I do know the difference between hippies and prostitutes! [she doesn't, she thinks Soho is full of hippies]
Stephen: "I'm only any good at stirring."
Ben - I have not got a harem! I define a harem as 8, and I've only got 7.
Ben: Dettol, that's terrible stuff. It's dual purpose, you can use it for cleaning toilets.
Jess: That's Dettox!
Ed to Serena: "You are not treating me like a horse!"
Helen: "Unless I get him up against a wall."
Helen: "They can take people from strange places."
Michael: "I can imagine Stephen and Ben easier than Serena and Stephen."
Michael: "I can imagine Stephen and Ben easier than Serena and Stephen."
Sarah: "Well I can't. Well I can, but the results would be somewhat explosive!"
Ben to Helen: "You just sleep in the nearest bed, regardless of who's in it!"
Ben: "I never said anything."
Ben - We should bury Michael, because I have utility, and no one else is obnoxious.
Helen F - Unlike David, I don't make inappropriate comments
Helen F(to Michael) - I don't think you should talk about fantasies because...
Ben - that piece of wood's a platypus
Katie J about Tom and Ben - They're like the Chuckle Brothers
Helen Fagan - Jess is less keen on having a baby.
Ben - I'll get Jess a dog if you get me a baby for a week.
James to Katie J - Come and hit on me!
Jane to Ben: You're a terminal flirt!
Jane - I miss maths...I really really miss maths
Helen - "Fiona dried me..."
Michael: How the hell do I look like a paedophile?
Ed - "We're such a dodgy society"
Ben's advice for programmes and planning - You would have thought that a group that spent so much time talking about sex would provide some practical examples
Ed on Ben and Jane- Its kinda like a random bitch fight
Laurence- I don't know what kind of bitch fight you go to but frankly this is of a pretty poor standard
Katie J- I was going to tell Michael to put some clothes on but was afraid I'd get quoted
Ben Fryer clothing guru- Surely tights are normal wear for Michael
Laurence: so what exactly is a house boy?
Ben: It's Jane little sex slave.
Jane to Laurence- Can you get it up
James - Don't expect me to be competent
Helen: I'm calling 999
Michael: 911 actually
Helen: What -are we in America?!
Friend: He had his zip undone -that much be crucial.
Victoria: Maybe he was taken by surprise!
"So what are 80 year olds like in bed Ben?"
Ben- "Not bad actually!"
Michael- "Just ram it in there and wiggle it about"
Zoe- "I'm quite psycopathic really"
Zoe: If you have CUSAGC clotes wear those, if not wear uniform. If you don't have those, wear nothing!
Ed to Serena - I behave myself most of the time. It's you who cause all of the problems.
Helen: No toner is a dream - i LOVE it when it says 'no toner!'
Robyn - Can you really see me wearing bright pink?
Ben - No, I was just enjoying the image.
Ben - I need a warrant and a female
David Prince - "We need more pregnant women"
Helen Fagan - "Do they assign you pregnant ladies - you don't have to find one, do you?"
Serena to Michael - we can just jump on you
Ed about Serena and Michael - "Now's probably a bad time to suggest threesomes"
Jane - "Michael is significantly easier"
Ed to Serena - "Are we finished yet?"
Michael: "I'm dangling..."
Michael -"I'm turning into Serena..."
Ben: "I don't like things attached to me!"
Ben (about Serena and Michael): Do you want to carry on playing with him?
Ben: I wouldn't trust my pancakes
Michael: I would say I miss my sanity, but I don't...
Ben (fantasising) - "I think I going to do it like that ... no wait, if I do it the other way round there might be the possibility of a quick eightsome at the end ... I *do* like a good eightsome."
Ben - If I had had a PDA I wouldn't have forgotten to get dressed.
Jane: Too much wishy washy arts rubbish
Helen (hmf): I'm the sort of people who...
Jane (to Alex): We're in the left-hand corner of your wardrobe
Michael, in response to 'so how was your play?'
"It was fun. The heckling at the student performance just made it better."
Alex - Milk is not the solution to a milk shortage
Helen: There's no 'a' in David's name...
Helen to Michael: "Of course, you are doing Material Science... so it's entirely possible you're not going out with anyone!"
Serena about David: "You can stab him for me if you like..."
Ben - I always have chocolate in my car - it helps me avoid road rage...
Ben: "Guys do wear clothes, when their girlfriends aren't around..."
Michael - "It's in your interests to run around like a mad lunatic"
Michael: "All of the female geeks I know either have a boyfriend or are lesbians.."
Serena: "Well you just need to become gay and that will solve the problem!"
Alex: There's something in your jacket pocket. It feels like a...
Jane to Michael: "Are you planning on getting on the floor as soon as you get on the ice?!"
Alex to Serena: "You're confused?! I've managed to get married and have kids without even knowing!"
Ben - All I need to do is make up a few bogus payments and then I can do money laundering on a big scale.
Becky (to Serena): You can give me one if you want
Serena: "I've been tied up three or four times... you can actually use climbing equipment"
Helen F: "Michael and Serena doesn't always mean sex"
Ross: Hmmmn, I think I could cope with a career as a bra.
Zoe to Michael- "So do you like your testicles?"
Laurence- "I've never worn a lead before, its a new experience"
Zoe- "I'm just trying to work out how you get a dog to rape you"
Becky- "Can I state categorically that I am not turned on by watching only semi dressed women"
Zoe - "But male strippers are boring...."
Becky- "You'd better watch out Laurence, you have long hair, I might get mistaken and start stripping you"
Zoe, advising Michael on his search for a girlfriend: "You might get a female fresher, they dont know you yet"
Laurence: ah but as you said the other night i'm a secret masochist, ..... and a historian
Ben (to Helen Fagan): Whats the point in me being drunk, you aren't at home tonight
Total stranger as Laurence and Ben hurtle past him on Froggatt Edge:
"You can go a bit slower you know! You don't have to enjoy the countryside in such a rush!"
Ben's holiday plans- "I'll have my own nice little private ward with lots of nurses."
Andy to Ben- "You can marry Helen but I'm not going to marry Jess!"
Ben- "Anarchy is incredibly easy to organise"
Ross -Go on then, give me a hard one.
Zoe - I should go and work on flu, that way I might get it.
Zoe to Michael - I'll blow you!
Zoe - I've only got one left to get, and that's gonorrhea. Richard gave me them.
Zoe to Michael - I'll finger you!
Laurence (to Zoe) - You go off and do obscene things with Stephen Rolph
Sarah: I can't think what Stephen and Zoe could do together that would contravene the constitution.
Laurence (to Zoe): You appear to have stolen my five-continental ball.
Sarah: Stephen was long. Ben: Yes, very long.
Laurence: Hello Michael, how can I help you?
Michael: Well Serena said I had to pull someone...
Jess (about the societies fair) - It's a bit like walking into Topshop
Sarah - 2007 is the hundreth centenary of Scouting
Sarah - I have a question about where money comes from.
Serena (about David Proctor) - I poked him, not literally, the one that makes him vibrate
Serena (about Michael) - Are you supposed to go up and stay up!
Laurence (to Stephen) - I love you forever
Serena (to Michael) - you're supposed to go up and stay up!
Michael: I really ought to learn to think before opening my mouth
Victoria - I've got two hands. I've just realised that.
Michael: I feel useless
Sarah - Victoria made it steamy this morning
Michael: I'm just not with it at all today
Victoria (dead pan): I'd noticed that
Tom (while Ed was driving): It's better not to look!
Alice: Why is it called Hadrian's Wall?...So he's dead then?
David to Helen: I'll trade you for a sheep
"When it's night most things are dark" - Tom Heritage, TST 2005
Tom (to Michael): It's not you, it's me
Mark to Ben
You can't lift it through a hawthorn tree.
Ben (having just turned his bicycle basket basket upside down above his head:
Finally I've found a use for cycle helmets; stopping mobile phones hitting you on the head.
Sarah (about Serena): Can someone please get behind her?
Fiona - Please don't mate on me!
Ben to Becky- "I think someone is wearing far too few clothes"
Ben- "I'm not *that* effeminate"
"You're all responsible" - Sarah to the annointed hordes of CUSAGC
"I like Tony Blair. I wanted him" - Zoe
Helen Fisher- "My friend's getting a penis cake at formal tonight. Its a very long story."
Jess (to Sarah): You really missed out in the toilets
Stephen - I don't want an annoying boyfriend
Jess - I've not had anything to drink, just wine.
Ben - Becky's got far more meat than I've got.
Becky (asked why she didn't heve contact lenses on): I've got icing in them
Laurence: I normally try to avoid drugs.
"stephen please stop poking Zoe"- Laurence
Becky - Because Ben is busy with me.
Sarah to Matthew: \"You must have eaten slugs when you were young...\"
Robyn's friend: I forgot I can't molest Robyn in quite the same way...
Fiona: i think i might be allergic to dirt - bit of a problem in this house...
Matthew: Perhaps e-mails are easier to get right when completely sober...
Matthew: There's not much work to do to the punt this year, so it shouldn't take
very long
Laurence: I recruited a sex maniac today
Laurence: She's used to nutters
Helen Fagan: I got a dodgy one from David yesterday
Ben (at 9:15pm): I think I'll have to go to bed soon