Cambridge University Lacrosse Club

Mike Dodson

To Southampton attacker:
"You can't play without a stick, bitch!"

Meng Wang

"Hurry up mate, I'm dying for some meat."

Andy Jones

"I'm going to go over to Jack's room and shower, then get ready with him and go out."

Will Hoult

"Mate, I'm really careful... I mean, I bailed on that 42 year old French woman."

To Phyllis Agbo:
"If I give you £50, will you beat me?"

Suneel Bhat

"Hey girl, let me get your number." [After putting number in phone] "Actually, I'm probably not going to call you."

"dodsy, you chipped my tootth, is hate you."

Dave Haines

After walking out of the Ospreys' Club:
"Women shouldn't be allowed to play sport."

Greg Blackman

"my girl is so safe: she's like a dude, man, just like a dude, but without a dick. no, no, shut up douchebag, you know what i meant."

Alan Bowe

"I know someone from Clare. Oh wait... I know someone called Clare..."