The Pinnacle of a Harey Year: The CUH&H Annual Dinner 2006

By Leika Gooneratne

For a PDF copy of this report with pictures, click here.

Twas brillig and the slithy toves...

Nah, scrap that. It was a night that was not so slithy, but definitely brillig. It was the night of the 18th March 2006. It was the night of THE Hare & Hounds Annual Dinner...

Running vests and tracksuit bottoms abandoned, the runners looked like an entire new species...even Rowan Hooper, miffed by Jacob Eisler’s remark on his attire last year: (“in a certain Kiwi's case, [donned] just 'a nice shirt'”), aspired to be the best dressed, going Victorian style, making his return to Cambridge quite prominent.

Right, so let’s get the serious stuff out of the way.

The reception was at 6:45pm...and erm...well...I missed it (I have a valid excuse!) so can’t report much on it – but I expect it was splendid, plenty of bubbly/orange juice to set the tone, lots of banter, people turning up on Harey time (a.k.a. “late”...ahem.)

Everyone was then shepherded into Caius hall – and how different it looked! (If you’ve been to a Caius formal hall, you’ll know what I mean). The food was first-class (England is a few deer less now) and the drink, plentiful...perhaps too plentiful...as this report will soon reveal...

There were speeches. Lots of them. To liven things up, the traditional “Guess how long the Captain’s speech is” bet was held...and a total of £36 was won by the more experienced Ben Johnson who, at a guess of 20 minutes, was only a second off the mark, and who – bless his heart – donated his winnings back to CUH&H (although payment for his dinner ticket is another story...). A quick interview with him revealed that he hoped it would spur Cambridge to a Varsity win...of which I have no doubt, for at the very least, it would be an added incentive to Owain “bring your own lunch” Bristow.

Peter Blairfish, the guest speaker, and also last year’s first Thames veteran in the RRR, gave a most profound speech, only slightly marred by an unfortunate pause after: [slightly misquoted] “The Thames Hare & Hounds aspire to 3 things: 1. To run...”

Captain Si’s speech followed...and it was not just 20 minutes of nonsense (except to a small bunch of freshers and Rich Mathie at the back, who couldn’t hear a thing and thus amused themselves by napkin throwing...with astonishingly similar flights to those of the paper aeroplanes in Dr. Joan Lasenby’s engineering lectures...perhaps the same culprit was behind both?). Reminiscent of his first speech when running for Club Captain at last year’s AGM, his speech was neat, to the point and at the same time, passionate and moving. It acknowledged some outstanding performers: Paolo, Pat Ward, Matt Armstrong to name a very few; people who have put a lot of energy into the club to ensure its smooth running: Rich Hewitt and Alex McIntosh; women’s captain Catharine Wood for her boundless energy and saving us from brutal sessions and the press officers, Aidan and Jacob.

Special mention (and tankards) were given to the outgoing secretary Matt Sims who somehow manages to balance a ridiculous amount of committee positions, a medical degree AND training. As Si said: “Rumour has it, if Matt’s mobile phone/email machine were ever to crash, the whole of Cambridge would grind to a halt.” Scarily true. And where is this talented lad off to next? Eagerly snatched up by the Dark Side. Let’s hope Bohemian Rhapsody is playing just before Varsity (only joking Matt!) *

*FYI; by excerpt from BUSA 2005 party report:

...Matt Sims, who managed to break some serious moves despite the whole 'busted shoulder' thing. Even with 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen blaring from the speakers, Matt kept up his groove- particularly impressive given that, according to one Jeffrey Garland, it was dancing to *that very song* which caused Matt his injury in the first place.

Appropriately given “Award for Dangerous Exuberance” (Queen CD) at Annual dinner 2005.

Another legend (and tankard) leaving us is Rich Hewitt. Si could not have put it better, describing him as “an unsung hero” – Rich is as modest as you can get, helps immensely behind the scenes without show or credit, genuinely interested in people and also, to quote Si, “a damned good runner.”

All in all, Si’s speech was very sexfull...

Oops I mean successful, of course...

Perhaps bets should also be made on women’s Captains’ speeches as well, as Catharine challenged and almost matched Si’s 20 minutes. Claire Day, Tricia Peters and Charlotte Forbes were acknowledged for their terrific running this year – Claire Day in particular, has proven her suitability as Club Captain, improving from strength to strength this past year. She also pointed out some dramatic improvements in Sarah Kummerfeld, Helen Mort, Erica Thompson and Jeanine Van Order.

Laura Dixon’s and Katherine Vinnicombe’s efforts in organising college league were not forgotten either – with the latter rightly being described as “an inspiration to many,” having once been in the top 40 runners in the country under 20yrs, she never fails to give an encouraging word to new and old runners alike, despite illness having somewhat curbed her progress.

The EZ officers Laura Frost and Ruth Hedden were recognised for their dedication in encouraging new runners, always smiling and unselfishly donating so much of their time to the club, despite being 3rd year vets! Super Marshall Alexia Knight also received a bouquet of roses, a small token of gratitude to one of the most mentally strong members of the club.

And unfortunately Sarah Coggrave did not hear the very true comments on her drive this year...despite this being only her first year of running she has, I believe, probably attended the most training sessions.

The women’s 2nds team were presented with university colours for the first time, showing real progress in the ladies department.

Dr Mike Turner

Retiring President of CUH&H after exactly 30 years, no report could be complete without mention of this legend. He won the VM twice, BUSA twice, was the fastest leg at Hyde Park Relays on 6 occasions, was English XC champion, and first won Cuppers in 1960 and last won it in 1980, with only a few years in between when he did not win. Inspiring.

Right, this is getting almost as long as the annual dinner itself! A few award presentations and then onto the fun stuff!!

Awards. In Summary:

Name/Reason for Award	Recipient	Notes of Interest
The Queen Cheetah Trophy (1st Cambridge woman in seconds varsity match)	Emma Figures	Made an incredible recovery from illness in just a term to storm this race.
The Denny Medal (1st Harey home in 2nd-5ths match; King Spartan)	Matt Sims	How much did Oxford pay for you, Matt? We’ll match and double it.
Ostend Trophy (1st Cam woman home in Blues match)	Tricia Peters	Full Blue awarded; only Cambridge girl to split the Oxford scorers
Conway Cup (1st Cambridge man home in Blues match)	Paolo Natali	Wonder why they call him the Italian Stallion?
1st Women's College Team in Cuppers	Trinity	We’ve lost count as to how many times Joan Lasenby’s been in the top 5 at Cuppers
1st Men's College Team in Cuppers	Jesus	Consistently terrific running from Will George and Rich Hewitt...
The Naked Man (1st individual man in Cuppers)	Will George	This winner was absent because he favoured a plant sciences trip to the Annual dinner...
1st Individual Woman in College League	Charlotte Forbes	Included a donation from Sweatshop
1st Women's College Team in League	Trinity	Joan and Sarah Kummerfeld, unstoppable.
Chris Brasher College League Trophy (First individual man in college league)	Will George	...although, the trip was to Portugal..
CUHH&H League trophy (1st men's college team in league)	Jesus	...with valuable help from Jamie Brunning, Pete Leek and Chris Morris
First Cambridge Man home in Roman Road Run	Owain Bristow	There’s something to be said about porridge and sardines for breakfast
The Cheshire Tally Ho Trophy (First Thames Veteran in Roman Road Run)	Richard Clark
First Thames man in Roman Road Run	Sophie Wood	First time won by a woman, super Sophie still going strong.
The Chris Thorne Trophy (Winner of League, Men’s Div II)	Sidney Sussex	New trophy donated last year. Received by Steve Benson, 30 mins later “stolen” (according to SB) by Jamie Stewart, recovered and sheltered by Ben Hope, 3 hours later.

Comedy Awards

Comedy duo Sabrina...oooh, hang on, I’m getting wigs confused...I mean, Andy Bell and Ali Connell, were the lovable presenters of these awards, complete with pink and red wigs and kilt...oops, sorry, no, the kilt wasn’t part of the amusement...just joking Ali...we LOVE the kilt really...

The act was nearly sabotaged once again by Sabrina and her bag snatching tricks (See Summer 2005 training camp report “The broccoli cake incident")...but bag found, and prizes retrieved, they proceeded to distribute the awards:

Name of award	Recipient	Links/Quotes/ Explanation
Bootlegger Award (pirate eye patch)	Rich Mathie	For trying to smuggle alcohol into the 2nd-5ths VM party
The Speedo Award (thong)	James Gill	“Sometimes, I wish I could lie in his big strong arms... He’d make me feel safe at night...” -Andy Bell “...James also has a passion for swimming” -Ali Connell “-and Emma Figures!” -Ailbhe Burke
Lacy Lingerie Award for Services to Club Kit: (Lacy light blue bra)	Tim Taylor: (see photo below)	See the Candy Bra incident, Winter training camp.
	Closely contested by this lad: (see photo next to Tim Taylor, below)	“No, really Tim, I don’t WANT the bra back” –the previous owner of the light blue lacy bra
Quote of the Year (Whoopee cushion)	Dr. Joan Lasenby	“You name it, I’ll sit on it” –Joan Lasenby, AGM 2006; obviously talking about committees...what were you thinking?
Maximuscle Award for Impressive Bicep Power: (A book called “Muscle”)	Sarah Kummerfeld	Knocked out 400 press-ups on winter training camp
The Catharine Wood Award (Pro Plus)	Emma Figures	For boundless energy and ever smiling
2006 Gigolo Award: (A gigolo belt, see notes)	Paulo Natali	How the gigolo belt works: 1) Tie around neck. 2) Bell on belt jingles in warning as Paulo stalks another man’s wife...
The Mountain Goat Award	Lee Harper	To ensure he stays sure-footed in the future... although it did not seem to work very well when ice-skating two nights later.
Award for Cycling Animalism (a pair of bike pedals)	Jason Wong	Beating cycling animals like Emma Pooley, Pete Leek, James Gill etc...Jason cycles WITHOUT pedals. (But do people know that Ali Connell cycles without a saddle and brakes?)
The Non-participation Award	Rich Ward	Clear winner...didn’t even turn up to the dinner!
Award for Marshalling Incompetence	OUCCC	After the first leg, one of the marshals decided to go and have a chat with his friend... and consequently the first 20ish runners (including Owain Bristow and Pete Leek) detoured to add an extra 3.5 mins to their lap times. On the 3rd leg, Alex McIntosh got similarly misdirected.
The Party Animal Award	Owain Bristow	Click here to watch the video.

Shark of the Year

The “Eligible Bachelor” Tim Taylor? Sabrina “always on the prowl” Vergee? No. This award went to a poet, a crooner, once a gap year student chaser, now a poster secretary (a post conveniently shared with another lady of his past) and bell-ringer...

Roses are Red
Violets have gone
So Leap into bed
With Richard Lebon

Animal of the Year

Nominees: Andy Bell, Matt Armstrong, Dr. Turner, Claire Day, and Owain Bristow Winner: Andy Bell

Party Party Party!!! (a.k.a. “Carnage”)

Perhaps I ought to follow in last year’s party report’s tune:

While plenty of juicy stuff happened, I received multiple e-mail requests in the days following the party...to practice restraint in the report. As much as I would like to relay these titbits, discretion demands I do not...

But I won’t, cos I’m the ruthlessly honest and slightly evil Press Officer! Bwahahaha! (Crumbs, I better behave myself this year!!)

Let’s start with probably the youngest recruit to CUH&H. This sweet, fair, young, unsuspecting lass from Aberdeen had at least 3 Harey men preying after her.

One complained of being given an “ambiguous no,” to his very unabashedly UNambiguous question: “Do you want me to hit on you?” Jacob mate, I’m afraid there’s nothing ambiguous about the response “Not really.”

Two tried his luck, but not even shamrocks and leprechauns could defeat the likes of number 3...

First an innocent twirl...then they start getting ideas from the couple behind them...

Drunkie #1.

A book could be written about this Welshman. But let’s summarise Steve Benson’s past year in the club in pictorial format:

*NB: Pete Leek piggy-backed Steve to the party...a feat Jamie S tried to emulate, with less success...dropping Steve on Clare bridge. Yes Steve, that’s what THAT bruise is about.