IXth CUH&H Chunder Mile

By James Kelly

If you happened to pass through (*Location Hidden*) on Wednesday 11th March as dusk began to fall, you probably regretted your decision. For about half an hour, the venue was hijacked by the Hare & Hounds as they undertook a different type of reps session. Reps were very much a key component of the event, but it was arguably reps of the pint-downing variety that took precedence in the annual running of the Chunder Mile.

With defending champion Rich Ward electing not to defend his title, the prize of the Phil Scard Chunder Mile Trophy was up for grabs. The eponymous Scard (Caius) was one of the lead contenders, but a number of competitors, including Lee Harper (Clare) and Andy Duncan (Girton) were eager to improve on last year's performances.

Despite the chilling wind and impending darkness, the competitors donned their racing attire, with many stripping down to shorts and vest. With barmen and timekeepers in place, and the competitors under starter's orders, the first pint was consumed. Scard was quick off the mark, setting the day's fastest drinking split (just under 6 seconds). James Kelly (Jesus), forced to consume Coca Cola in deference to the upcoming Intercounties, followed Scard, with Harper, Duncan and Simon Gilbert (Downing) leading the rest of the charge.

Kelly and Scard continued to lead the field, with each competitor showing an impressive capacity for holding liquid. Harper, employing a controversial technique (see videos), closed the gap on the leaders. Lapped competitors started to suffer, with drinking splits slowing considerably and the sound of chundering echoing through the air. Robin Brown (Jesus) seemed to be regretting his choice of beverage (Guinness), while John Redshaw (Trinity Hall), drinking lemonade due to an imminent supervision, still found the going to be tough.

Kelly and Scard reached the final pint in fairly close company, but a swift drinking split by Kelly sent him off with a comfortable lead that allowed him to stagger to "victory" in 4:58*. (He was disqualified for the non-alcoholic nature of his drink). Scard was therefore crowned champion after holding off Harper in a thrilling sprint finish, triumphing 5:07 to 5:08. Duncan slashed nearly 90s off his previous time to claim the final podium position in 5:59.

Eventually all of the competitors did manage to finish, even the Chundercats, a bold team from the Cantabrigensis Hash House Harriers who competed as a three-person, four-legged race. Most of the competitors were some shade of green as they recovered from the race and took the obligatory photos, bellies swollen and shirts vomit-stained. And yet most will return for another go some time in the future.

*Note that the course totalled only 1370m

RACE STATISTICS:

Fastest Pint: Phil Scard (6s)

Fastest Leg: Andy Duncan (53s)

Fastest Drinker: James Kelly (44s)

Fastest Runner: Robin Brown (3:58)

Most Chunder: Robin Brown (4 pints)

Policeman Count: 0! (Hence the Hidden Location.)

Slowest Pint: John Redshaw 4:42

Slowest Leg: The Chundercats 4:38 (2 legs good, 4 legs bad)

Most Legs: Team Chundercats

Most Questionable Technique: Lee Harper - did the beer pass the oesophagus?

Winner of the Captain vs Secretary Challenge: The Club Captain, by 7:31 and 4 pints of alcohol

Course records: Men - 5:06 (Richard Ward, 2007), Ladies - 12:18 (Helen Mort, 2007)

Last modified: Saturday March 29 2008 21:07:10