Meta Rules
What to expect from CTF really:
1. CTF is only a game, and as such, should be played in approximately the same spirit that the Monster Raving Loony Party takes towards elections. If someone shoots you, don't get angry; get even!
2. ANY PLAYER BEHAVING LIKE A 'TARD WILL BE GANGED UP UPON
3. The appearance of any bystanders (pheasants) within range of the weapons in play must stop the game immediately until they go away again. This includes cars, of which players should warn others about and cease to combat until the roads are clear.
4. This is not a game of physical strength, hence no pushing, shoving, etc.
5. CTF shall always welcome anyone as a new member.
6. The Umpire shall have the ceremonial title of "Crispy Ambulance", and would be referred to in official stationary (if it existed) as Cyril.
6a. The Umpire's assistant, if they be so needed, shall have the ceremonial title of 'Crispy Paramedic'
7. Other committee posts, with similarly silly names, may be created when it is convenient to do so.
8. Crispy Ambulances will probably be replaced sometimes, by, I suppose, some sort of election or Shady Cabal. The Crispy reigns supreme! All hail the Crispy!!
9. The Crispy Ambulance is in general responsible for making sure e-mails get out on time, managing the website, enforcing the rules and providing a certain amount of weaponry for each meeting. They may delegate some of these duties if it wishes.
10. Players can be blacklisted by the Crispy Ambulance for repeated failure to obey the rules. Hopefully this shall never actually be necessary.
11. The loathsome Lortonoi of Ballybran IV are our mortal enemies, and can be recognised by their distinctive characteristic of being intelligent turtles. Any member of CTF spotting one of these insidious creatures should make silly faces at it until it goes away.* They are the only exception to rule 5.
12. Given the public's standard reaction of "Kill it, kill it with fire", Looking Like A Terrorist is now a CRIME, punishable by CRUCIFIXION. All participants shall therefore please refrain from doing anything stupid, like having beards with lighted cigars in them or shouting "Allah Akbar!" as they charge into the fray.
13. Please attempt to avoid hitting the head or, uh, naughty bits. I am aware that such accuracy is difficult on a moving target, but try your hardest.
14. CTF is not to be used as an excuse for any player's behaviour, nor are we responsible for any other groups of people wandering around with flags.
15. You play CTF at your own risk. Be aware that there is the possibility of serious injury, as with all activities. While we try hard to minimise the risk, most of us are not infallible or omnipotent, and the possibility of accidents is there.
16. By turning up, you agree not to sue us. We are not responsible for any damage or distress caused to your computer, your mental or physical health, your worldly goods, or your goldfish.
*Lortonoi are not to be confused with bystanders, etc.(or versa vice)
