The Assassins' Guild - Stats| Position | Real Name | Pseudonym | Number of Kills | Conkers Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Luke Richard Bennett | General Operative (Death) AKA Guaranteed Overnight Dispatchment AKA Raccoon Version 2 | 6 | 15 |
| 2 | Elaine Oliver | Yer Ma | 1 | 2 |
| 3 | Kristian Glass | Monty Karl | 1 | 1 |
| 4 | Jennifer Berry | an assassin | 1 | 1 |
| 5 | Roisin Kiberd | the iron lady | 2 | 14 |
| 6 | Bronwyn Elliott | Our Lady Bonbons | 0 | 0 |
| 7 | Simeon Bird | Maximilian Arturo AKA Michael Oldfield AKA Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow | 5 | 6 |
| 8 | Steven Shenton | Quinn Mallory | 1 | 1 |
| 9 | Benjamin Weaver | A AKA ( AKA AKA AKA ) | 4 | 12 |
| 10 | Nick Plummer | Pheeleep Beelbee | 0 | 0 |
| 11 | Jacob Samuel Corteen | Fourth Merry Man from the left AKA The Harbringer of 2012 AKA Trinity's Nemesis AKA The Preacher | 7 | 12 |
| 12 | Dinesh-Ramesh Mirpuri Vatvani | Ninja_Elf | 0 | 0 |
| 13 | Lu Wei | Wooly5 | 0 | 0 |
| 14 | Eystein Thanisch | Lord_of_Lamancha | 0 | 0 |
| 15 | Robert Coomber | The Smug Ostrich AKA I was drunk or tired when I chose my last Psuedo | 2 | 2 |
| 16 | Amelia Booth | Battle of mice | 1 | 1 |
| 16 | David Williams | Backward Finesse AKA Solid Snake | 2 | 7 |
| 16 | Alicia Danks | Little Miss Apprehensive | 0 | 0 |
| 19 | Liam Brierley | Snickers | 0 | 0 |
| 20 | Sol Richardson | trilobite sundae | 0 | 0 |
| 21 | Simon Abernethy | The Independent Nation of Neil | 0 | 0 |
| 22 | Yuan Cao Zhang | Cancer Man | 0 | 0 |
| 23 | Joshua Blanchard Lewis | Tumultuous Weathercocks Instigate Lethargically Levitating Obelisks | 4 | 4 |
| 24 | James Brister | Sylvester McCoy | 0 | 0 |
| 25 | Robert Patterson | the man with a sunlight allergy | 0 | 0 |
| 26 | Ruairidh King | bumchumnumberone | 0 | 0 |
| 27 | Liam Mencel | Mencellator | 0 | 0 |
| 28 | Timothy Bazalgette | Axolotl | 1 | 1 |
| 29 | Kamila Zubala | Tinky Winky | 0 | 0 |
| 30 | David Anthony Read | #4502 | 0 | 0 |
| 31 | Emilie Yerby | String | 0 | 0 |
| 32 | Philip Bielby | Rembrandt Brown | 0 | 0 |
| 33 | Rich Miller | Muttley | 0 | 0 |
| 34 | Philip Hubbard | Old Uncle Tom Cobleigh et al. | 0 | 0 |
| 35 | Robert Bell | Notes from a small island | 0 | 0 |
| 36 | Sian Humphries | DOA | 0 | 0 |
| 37 | Megan Stanley | Miss. Terie | 0 | 0 |
| 38 | Anna Kalorkoti | Clytemnestra | 1 | 1 |
| 39 | Ben Naseman | The Admiral | 0 | 0 |
| 40 | Adam Guterres | Heatwaves to Alaska | 0 | 0 |
| 41 | Jayaveni Chedumbarum Pillay | mysteryman | 0 | 0 |
| 42 | Callum Rhodes | SGD | 0 | 0 |
| 43 | Dan Craik | The Pagonophobe | 0 | 0 |
| 44 | Michael William Donaghy | Wade Kathleen Welles | 0 | 0 |
| 45 | William Brooks | Will "the nemesis of all things purple" Brooks | 0 | 0 |
| 46 | Tom Booth | John Carter of Mars | 3 | 3 |
| 47 | Neville Ball | DUI | 0 | 0 |
| 48 | Marko Thiel | SupplyAndDemand | 0 | 0 |
| 49 | Matthew Delja | John Wesley Hardin | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Sunil Shah | Red | 0 | 0 |
| 51 | Bink Atkins | Batcake | 0 | 0 |
| 52 | Matt Green | Professor Plum | 0 | 0 |
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