Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Updates


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New on Sunday, 18 February

[17 Feb, 11:30 AM] Bill Cipher underestimates Blue Eyes Toon Dragon's Willpower
[17 Feb, 16:40 PM] Green Text Guy types in [Colour the Umpires won't know until after this is published]

New on Saturday, 17 February

[17 Feb, 18:10 PM] The Terrible Twosome Paranoid Hyperboloid and Undefined Behaviour treat TheBSMouse (Max Williamson) and Jason Funderburker (Tim Jepsen) to terrible tragedy
[14 Feb, 15:30 PM] Conforming to industry standards, Bayon the Bricklayer is two days late reporting the death of Luminous Badger (Alex Smallwood)
[17 Feb, 12:15 PM] Pointless Art. By TheFourthKnock feat. an absence of Jean-Paul Carte
[17 Feb, 12:05 PM] Artsiness, with a Point. By TheFourthKnock feat. Emile Ward (Ward Van Der Schoot)
[17 Feb, 00:00 AM] Gaaaa Ga Gan Gnaa Ganaa Gaa Gna Ga!

New on Friday, 16 February

[16 Feb, 10:15 AM] DisguisedToast (Vincent Proud) is toast, thanks to Poison Pi's luck
[16 Feb, 12:05 PM] Kitty Kat and Pusheen discuss their recent lack of success
[10 Jan, 00:00 AM] A stylish bounty from Eddie Valiant
[10 Jan, 00:00 AM] Bart Schaf brings a Trio of Achievement Bounties
[14 Feb, 11:00 AM] Captain Redactor fails again to [REDACTED] Wabbit
[15 Feb, 18:15 PM] Hungry Alan was hungry for Max's (Max Cooper-Clark's) blood. And a nicer porkchop.
[15 Feb, 11:00 AM] Leads turn cold for Eddie Valiant
[14 Feb, 11:00 AM] Eddie Valiant is on the case. But who's case is it?
[15 Feb, 21:00 PM] Pikachu and Deadly Viper use Quick Attack! It's not very effective...

New on Thursday, 15 February

[15 Feb, 10:30 AM] Blue Eyes Toon Dragon and Poison Pi avenge a the fallen Private Snafu, killing Dirk Dwyer (Joseph Saxby)
[14 Feb, 12:00 PM] Private Snafu AKA the Dip (Avigail Ben-Gad) diced too close with death, dismembering 1123581321 (Zsuzsanna Baran (Zsuzsa)), but not dodging Dirk Dwyer

New on Wednesday, 14 February

[14 Feb, 14:15 PM] Harry Pence (Anthony Lim) did not suspect all that Undefined Behaviour

New on Tuesday, 13 February

[13 Feb, 16:40 PM] Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A... Nope, that's not bringing Super-Nintendo Chalmers (Dylan Phelps) back from stabbing at the hands of Jean-Paul Carte
[13 Feb, 16:50 PM] Atletico (Dan Wakefield) shouldn't have had that Poison Pi
[13 Feb, 10:00 AM] Wabbit proves once and for all that it is not 'Rabbit Season', killing Me-Mow (Rebecca Harris) and Praying Mantis (Joe Jollans)
[13 Feb, 10:00 AM] Robert the Construction Consultant evades the Dip again.
[13 Feb, 11:00 AM] Pikachu's snacktime goes wrong... for Mooman (Josh Cowley)
[12 Feb, 22:30 PM] Caporal Blutch efficiently erases Kiwi Dachshund (Julia Wiener), and Regina Phalange I (Nikki Eames)
[12 Feb, 22:44 PM] Poison Pi sees all the murderising that Paranoid Hyperboloid has been getting up to, and decides to try it on him, without due cause
[12 Feb, 21:06 PM] Pikachu disobeys its trainer
[12 Feb, 20:55 PM] Paranoid Hyperboloid kills Merlin (Ollie Evans). 404 error; pun not found.

New on Monday, 12 February

[12 Feb, 18:30 PM] All leaves eventually fall. This Leaf (Evgeny Slavin) was aided by Cop Rick into doing it a lot sooner than he expected
[12 Feb, 13:00 PM] Kamille (Alex Janowska) should have felt the presence of Eric Cartman
[12 Feb, 16:00 PM] Bozo butchers the non-living bones of Natalie
[12 Feb, 12:00 PM] Robert the Construction Consultant evades the Dip. For now.
[12 Feb, 15:00 PM] Ori spends all day hunting a dead man
[10 Feb, 16:34 PM] Yosemite Sam 's luck is in, as Jimjam (James Andrews)'s luck runs out
[10 Feb, 16:14 PM] Yosemite Sam catches up with that varmint Meme Lord (Sherwood Lam)
[12 Feb, 13:35 PM] Undefined Behaviour relies on faces past to find and kill Yurio (Ajay Ahir)
[12 Feb, 13:00 PM] The only stomach emptier than that of Hungry Alan is that of Natalie (Lily Bao)
[12 Feb, 10:00 AM] Caporal Blutch's advance continues
[11 Feb, 14:30 PM] Miss Macaroon (Cheryl Jiang) is taken down by Chief Wiggum (Coincidentally before she was killed again the next day)
[12 Feb, 08:45 AM] Dorian Grey cuts it fine whilst cutting down the corpse of Miss Macaroon (Cheryl Jiang) and Toon Loon (Josh Garfinkel)
[12 Feb, 11:00 AM] Paranoid Hyperboloid (Leo Zlotnikov)'s Deadly Stardom is cut short by Arturo Fuey (David Lever)'s Deadly Star. Neither survive to appreciate this pun.
[11 Feb, 08:00 AM] Caporal Blutch encounters difficulties in his advance

New on Sunday, 11 February

[11 Feb, 18:30 PM] Thanks to Bill Cipher, The Tasmanian Devil's Cousin Twice Removed, Tim (Joseph Luke Arthur Townsend) is now a lot more removed
[11 Feb, 17:30 PM] He's Mr Meeseeks, and he killed Big Alano (Alana Cutland). Look at him!
[10 Feb, 16:55 PM] Mayor Quimby continues to ruin TheFourthKnock's artsy things
[10 Feb, 18:55 PM] TheFourthKnock goes wanted for killing RumHam at an ATM, and general artsy-ness
[10 Feb, 19:15 PM] Ian Competent mortifies Mort (Finnian Robinson). And by mortifies, I mean kills.
[10 Feb, 16:00 PM] Eddie Valiant's investigations are ongoing
[10 Feb, 17:00 PM] The Girl with the Griffin Tattoo goes hunting
[10 Feb, 17:25 PM] Paranoid Hyperboloid bifurcates Two Minions in a Trenchcoat (Neal Patel)
[10 Feb, 21:03 PM] Night Angel and Captain Redactor use [REDACTED] to extract Isoleucine (James Child)
[9 Feb, 09:50 AM] Plinium, Eshassin and co. use the powers of Friendship, Teamwork and Guns to declassify Victor Volt (Paul Durbaba)
[10 Feb, 15:03 PM] Undefined Behaviour, Paranoid Hyperboloid, Me-Mow, and Night Angel, eventually assisted by The Names of Recent Players, go incobashing, unsuccessfully visiting Atletico, Mort, Poison Pi, Two Minions in a Trenchcoat, Babriel Worp, DisguisedToast, Hungry Alan and RumHam, ultimately killing BM (Bethan Morris). Phew.

New on Saturday, 10 February

[10 Feb, 16:50 PM] TheFourthKnock does another artsy thing.
[10 Feb, 14:46 PM] Babriel Worp scrapes competency, after a short game of 'knockdown ginger' with a couple of incos
[10 Feb, 16:37 PM] Paranoid Hyperboloid causes BM (Bethan Morris) to BM as they realise the jig is up
[10 Feb, 15:30 PM] Bayon the Bricklayer lays out Wacky Wanda (Friso de Graaf)
[9 Feb, 17:17 PM] The Gentleman (Andrew Darby) spontaneously explodes in a black mushroom cloud of annihilation. Much shame, many sadness.
[10 Feb, 14:20 PM] TheFourthKnock does a thing. An artsy thing.
[10 Feb, 14:50 PM] Robert the Construction Consultant privately bashes Equinox (Robert Morosanu)
[10 Feb, 14:00 PM] Hungry Alan doesn't like the inco list, so tries the wanted list, after shooting Dorian Grey while backstage preparing for a show
[7 Feb, 23:00 PM] The Gentleman Hunts. Eddie Valiant Helps. Dirk Dwyer is relevant somehow.
[10 Feb, 00:00 AM] The Professor's Order

New on Friday, 9 February

[9 Feb, 15:40 PM] The Gentleman confronts Paranoid Hyperboloid about his Suspicious Undefined Behaviour
[9 Feb, 11:59 AM] Kitty Kat kills Killerheels (Henrietta (Hennie) Coales) kwite konvincingly [Umpire's Note: Coming up with words beginning with K is hard]
[9 Feb, 17:30 PM] Sardine is yet to tip the scales in their favour in their hunt for Equinox
[9 Feb, 13:00 PM] Captain Redactor tries to find a Leaf, but only finds [REDACTED]
[8 Feb, 18:40 PM] The Adventures of Pink Guy (Bovey Zheng) and Francis of the Filth (Michael Djali) will not be continuing, thanks to Private Snafu and Blue Eyes Toon Dragon

New on Thursday, 8 February

[8 Feb, 13:32 PM] Yurio slips past the clutches of Night Angel
[7 Feb, 14:10 PM] Bill Cipher watches the door to Night Angel's mind
[7 Feb, 19:15 PM] Captain Redactor [REDACTED] [REDACTED]s Wabbit, but runs away before he can [REDACTED]
[8 Feb, 08:45 AM] Sebastian Melmoth (Molly O'Gorman) slips up and is butchered by Bozo

New on Wednesday, 7 February

[6 Feb, 22:00 PM] Darkhorse (Shukri Abdullahi) is out of the race. Jean-Paul Carte rides on on a trail of blood
[5 Feb, 13:30 PM] Praying Mantis turns around an attack by Gerry Adams (Jamie Brannigan ) and uses his murderous momentum to kill Martin McGuinness (George Barnard)
[7 Feb, 14:00 PM] Blue Eyes Toon Dragon brings Francis of the Filth some ramen... Or at least tries to
[7 Feb, 11:30 AM] Victor Volt uses his secret-est skills attempting to infiltrate Fat Tony's hideout
[6 Feb, 20:40 PM] Pink Guy happens across a shootout between Francis of the Filth and Mr Meeseeks, so sensibly kills Mr Meeseeks (Sam Sully)

New on Tuesday, 6 February

[6 Feb, 14:00 PM] Pikachu uses quick attack on Regina Phalange II (Holly Gimson), who is caught unawares (after forgetting she was playing...!)
[6 Feb, 11:50 AM] Private Snafu publicly perforates rainbow coloured rainbows (Barnaby Medhurst)

New on Monday, 5 February

[5 Feb, 11:00 AM] Top Cat (Anik Roy) falls victim to Killerheels
[5 Feb, 09:30 AM] Wabbit waylays Poppy (Aida Sanchez). Permanently.
[5 Feb, 17:00 PM] Paranoid Hyperboloid 'finds' the dead body of Jamal Ackland (Will Styles) behind an unlocked door
[5 Feb, 10:00 AM] Emile Ward turns around an attack by the pretender Ian Competent (Matthew (Matt) Hutton)

New on Sunday, 4 February

[3 Feb, 13:00 PM] Francis of the Filth and Pink Guy try to make a meal of Hungry Alan
[28 Jan, 14:00 PM] Mysterious forces lead Eddie Valiant on a wild goose chase
[2 Feb, 13:00 PM] Eddie Valiant finds unlikely help from His Lady-Friend, as they hunt the Wanted Herb (Jeevith Gnanakumaran)
[2 Feb, 11:30 AM] Sardine suspects fishy business as he stakes out Equinox

New on Saturday, 3 February

[3 Feb, 00:00 AM] The Incobash is Coming...
[3 Feb, 10:30 AM] Blue Eyes Toon Dragon and Private Snafu hunt again. It doesn't work

New on Friday, 2 February

[2 Feb, 23:20 PM] Paranoid Hyperboloid's Rampage continues and Regina Phalange the Third (Nairi Weston ) never gets to see her Friends again
[2 Feb, 17:54 PM] Freakyzeaky (Fadi Zaki) got in the way as Fat Tony was 'Watering his Garden'
[1 Feb, 14:08 PM] Caporal Blutch's luck is in as he dodges Dodgy dentist (Floss Willcocks), then takes his chances and kills her, to find she was indeed targeting him
[2 Feb, 14:30 PM] Bob the Destroyer, alongside his companions Deadly Viper and Pikachu, attempts to kill both Jamal Ackland and Freakyzeaky, but does not succeed
[2 Feb, 13:32 PM] Carnage in the Canteen. Mr Plod is shamefully killed by Brian (Matt Alderton), only to be avenged by His Lady-Friend (Alexander (Alex) Hibbert) who is then ended by Courage the Cowardly Dog
[2 Feb, 13:05 PM] Blue Eyes Toon Dragon's hunt succeeds with the help of Bob the Destroyer and Lucia Konohana, smashing The man of glass (Oliver Bilbie) and gutting Plain, simple Garak (Thomas Adamson) at once
[2 Feb, 11:00 AM] Bill Cipher tries to 'befriend' Paranoid Hyperboloid
[1 Feb, 23:00 PM] Max brings DOGS ARE TASTY (Faris Khan) to a Potassium filled end
[2 Feb, 09:00 AM] Kitty Shade (Hannah Price) should have stuck to the shadows, as The Girl with the Griffin Tattoo catches her fleeing
[31 Jan, 18:47 PM] Scooby Doob and the Mystery Smang (Shyam Dhokia), kills eZfebreeze (Alex Lawrence), but then himself falls to Freakyzeaky
[31 Jan, 17:00 PM] TheBSMouse diminishes the noble Phalange line, eliminating Regina phalange IV (Callum Farrow)
[1 Feb, 10:58 AM] Herb goes wanted for shooting Dodgy dentist in a lecture theatre (and neither seem to realise how wrong that is)
[1 Feb, 21:36 PM] The house always wins, as Dirk Dwyer hustles The Names of Recent Players (Roddy MacSween) off the board
[1 Feb, 15:47 PM] Night Angel has a crack at the now lopsided but alive Mort

New on Thursday, 1 February

[1 Feb, 13:00 PM] Looney-tic (Jen Atherton) is not paranoid enough to avoid Paranoid Hyperboloid
[31 Jan, 22:20 PM] The Night of the Two Wanted. Scooby and the Gang get what they deserve. Kitty Shade survives another day.

New on Wednesday, 31 January

[31 Jan, 08:50 AM] Plain, simple Garak's phaser is set to disintegrate, bringing aphex (Ella Comish) to a quick and painful end
[31 Jan, 11:15 AM] Scooby and the Gang goes after the wrong Incompetent, killing Professor Incompetent's daughter
[31 Jan, 11:00 AM] Fat Tony takes exception to Celia Black (Emilie Colliar)'s 'survival choices'
[31 Jan, 11:55 AM] Blue Eyes Toon Dragon seeks, but does not find

New on Tuesday, 30 January

[28 Jan, 19:00 PM] It's delicious mutually assured destruction as Son Goten (Karen Sarmiento) and Patricia Buttlicker (Michael Collingwood)'s blades slide into each other

New on Monday, 29 January

[29 Jan, 17:30 PM] It's all downhill for Peak (Harry Rowlands) as his life ends at the hands of Paranoid Hyperboloid
[29 Jan, 09:30 AM] Blue Eyes Toon Dragon, Wabbit and Private Snafu didn't count on 1123581321 not showing up
[29 Jan, 17:38 PM] With the help of The Gentleman, Bravo Oscar Bravo (Sajawall Nawaz) is Delta Echo Alfa Delta
[29 Jan, 10:05 AM] Blue Eyes Toon Dragon plays in Attack Position
[29 Jan, 10:55 AM] Kenneth (James Rhodes) fumbles his knife, letting Victor Volt stab him in the chest
[29 Jan, 10:05 AM] Victor Volt survives an attack by Kenneth, thanks to Professor Professor's OoB field on the lecture hall

New on Sunday, 28 January

[28 Jan, 22:30 PM] Sergent Chesterfield unloads his gun on Scooby and the Gang (David Horstmann) whilst they search for Scooby Snacks
[28 Jan, 00:45 AM] A Game of Cards turns to a Game of Death as Ori kills Shinigami (Indi Pritchard) for killing Sideshow Bob (Twm Stone)
[27 Jan, 01:00 AM] An unexpected ambush by Sideshow Bob on Professor Incompetent goes even more unexpectedly when Alex Allen M.A. (Alex Allen) dies counter-ambushing
[27 Jan, 20:20 PM] Me-Mow and RumHam learn the power of the culinary arts in protecting you from Assassins

New on Saturday, 27 January

[27 Jan, 21:10 PM] Paranoid Hyperboloid efficiently wipes Bumblebee Man (Izzy Clancy) off the Wanted list even quicker than the Umpire expected
[27 Jan, 18:15 PM] Bumblebee Man didn't understand that bombs are illegal. Babriel Worp manages to survive this mistake
[27 Jan, 15:00 PM] Light Yagami (Zoe Gyamfi) doesn't manage to get Robert the Construction Consultant's name as he installs a Spider into her back
[26 Jan, 00:00 AM] The Dawn of a New Age

New on Friday, 26 January

[16 Jan, 00:00 AM] An Interruption to your regular programming...

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