Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Headlines


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Saturday, 7 October

[00:00 AM] Our first bounty, compliments of an anonymous player!
[00:00 AM] George little puts a bounty on himself!
[00:00 AM] A nostalgic bounty from our very own CoP, Sinead Foley
[00:00 AM] An assortment of intriguing bounties, courtesy of the anonymous 'Bart Schaf'
[00:00 AM] Unit 1NC0 sets a bounty on themselves to lure unsuspecting victims to their panto

Saturday, 14 October

[00:00 AM] An interview with the world's most prominent businessman is aired across the galactic network.
[00:00 AM] The AutoUmpire makes an attempt on the Umpires' nerves
[11:00 AM] The breaded fiend, Monsieur Breadperson, kills Pseudocrem (Imogen Sandford) in their own home!
[11:50 AM] Dr. Song stabs Max Sinclair (Oliver Layzell) in the heart.
[13:20 PM] The Were-Bear strikes, killing an innocent. Kitty Shade lives to see another day.
[14:00 PM] Miguel Jaksoni visits Reginald but is foiled by a locked door
[17:45 PM] A close call, imacyclepath meets their attacker, theboi
[19:10 PM] Saq Madiq introduces Pink Panther (Paige Yallop) to the sharp end of their sword
[20:00 PM] Pseudonymous Bosch offers a friendly handshake to Baron von Slavski (Zak Lakota-Baldwin)... that's a strange looking hand
[20:30 PM] Emile Ward lands a deadly blow to Big booty man (Ed Gilford)
[21:45 PM] The Were-Bear (Teddy Mack) is brought to justice by The Geiger Countess, Furston LeDolier and Ivanova Koestler
[22:00 PM] Monsieur Breadperson is reanimated by the Gray Corporation.
[22:30 PM] Knives beat batons, as Misty Patricia demonstrates to Ascalon Hendricks (Will Harvey-Powell)
[23:00 PM] Brock Lee (Lily Bao) meets an explosive end at the hands of theboi

Sunday, 15 October

[16:20 PM] Ulex Stultus does not give up his style as he drinks a Vanilla Latte (Elizabeth Hanna)
[17:00 PM] Diogenes the Cynic goes wandering. Gray is distressed at how many assassins have more style than he does.
[17:25 PM] The Shadow Surfer makes an attempt on Stacey but can't quite get their foot in the door
[17:30 PM] Karm Wood and Magdala Buckley go hunting. The dynamic duo catch Russianlove (Marius Stensrud), but Karm Wood illicitly coshes them, going wanted.
[18:00 PM] An attack by Flip Flop Thief (Barnaby Medhurst) goes terribly wrong! Omar Patel gets the kill and Anastasia Chibulkova goes wanted
[18:50 PM] Pseudonymous Bosch (Colin Kaljee) mistakes a business call for a social one, giving Falcon Jones the opening he needs.
[20:00 PM] Magpie takes to the wing
[20:45 PM] Ulex Stultus stylishly dispatches Tigris (Aleca Haeger) while Cornelius Gray looks on
[21:20 PM] Karm Wood kills Brian Bay (Matthew Alderton), redeeming themselves in the eyes of the Umpire
[21:30 PM] Kitty Shade nearly kills Commander Christian Cuck (C Cubed on the streets), but he is saved by the umpire's power

Monday, 16 October

[09:50 AM] Haytham dispatches their target, Jack Napier (Karamvir Kumar)
[11:00 AM] The Geiger Countess strikes down Anastasia Chibulkova (Adrian Del Ser), but is seriously injured in the process
[11:00 AM] The Innocuous Postman Who Keeps Accidentally Bumping Into People While Carrying Very Sharp Parcels attempts to deliver a very interesting looking package
[12:00 PM] Makishima goes searching for Jesabethabethabell and Bear, but they unwittingly escape
[13:00 PM] AJ and Emile Ward clash. After extensive discussion, both walk away unharmed
[15:00 PM] The Innocuous Postman Who Keeps Accidentally Bumping Into People While Carrying Very Sharp Parcels attempts a second delivery but fails to identify the recipient
[15:45 PM] Cuddly Attack Bear visits White Peeta Bread, but no one was home
[16:50 PM] Sneaky Sashimi sneaks a knife into Puck the Kitty (Sarah Racicot)'s heart
[18:15 PM] imacyclepath (Natalie Chapman) and theboi's rivalry finally ends in a dramatic encounter

Tuesday, 17 October

[08:30 AM] Alexander (James Quentin) Duggan begins his life as a killer, dispatching Pedro Salinas (Hannan Saddiq)
[10:55 AM] Elvis (Nathaniel Cooke) and Hatman play ring around the innocent.
[11:00 AM] LaTeX Forest kills Bob (Peter Rugg) and ruins their morning
[11:00 AM] LaTeX Forest and their assailant Reginald find themselves 'mostly armless'.
[14:00 PM] LaTeX Forest can't quite kill Miss Scarlet through the door's crack.
[14:00 PM] 8848 has a narrow escape from Falcon Jones (Matt Hutton)'s blade, but Falcon Jones is not so lucky
[14:20 PM] 8848 is foiled by Gray corp's experimental technology (it's called a 'lock').
[17:00 PM] Saq Madiq Wins the waiting game against Elliejc (Ellie Coverdale)
[17:30 PM] Furston LeDolier does their duty. Yoesph Thawne (James Farley) should have employed 'the lock', available at all good Gray corp stores.
[18:20 PM] Locks, they save lives, a lesson that Sneaky Sashimi teaches Stabbity Stab McStab (Vincent Proud)
[20:00 PM] Kitty Harper's cunning water polo based ruse pays off as Pennywise (Krystian Bober) should have been more wary.
[21:00 PM] The hunt between Reginald and LaTeX Forest continues.
[22:30 PM] Jul Tamer betrays AJ (Alex Janowska), their ex-partner

Wednesday, 18 October

[09:00 AM] Mack-Attack (Chloe Mackley) is rudely awoken by their own death, Sebastian Melmoth
[13:15 PM] Mr. Weenie enjoys a delicious Jellybean (Judith Offenberg)
[17:30 PM] The Beast of Burden reminds Alcibiades to lock their door

Thursday, 19 October

[12:00 PM] An unknown entity associated with spacetime anomaly, dubbed "The Shrike", caused major disruption in Grey corporation AI research facility which resulted in death of LaTeX Forest (Leo Zlotnikov)
[12:00 PM] The Shadow Surfer is just moments too late, stabbing the corpse of LaTeX Forest
[15:00 PM] The Innocuous Postman Who Keeps Accidentally Bumping Into People While Carrying Very Sharp Parcels continues to struggle to find the recipient of the ticking package
[17:25 PM] Hatman delivers a hat, and death, to White Peeta Bread (Gautam Mahapatra)
[19:00 PM] An Extinct Turtle learns how to use guns, shooting Cher Lloyd by Cher Lloyd (Kendal Karaduman)
[20:00 PM] The hunter becomes the hunted as Kitty Shade (Hannah Lagorio) is shot down by Commander Christian Cuck (C Cubed on the streets)

Friday, 20 October

[13:00 PM] theboi takes down Ezio Ibn La'Ahad (Razvan-Cristian Nicolescu)
[13:30 PM] Jesabethabethabell (Calliope Ryan-Smith) is lured out of their room by Makishima's cookies
[14:00 PM] The nastily physical physical natsci takes a lesson in assassination and practices on Sullivan Slaughter (Hugo Blondel)
[15:00 PM] Emile Ward pays a visit to PotatOS (Li Xin) and makes a new friend
[19:05 PM] A rather Rat like individual, J. Ratty (Irene Svoronos), tries to kill Emile Ward, but runs themselves into a corner instead and is dispatched.
[20:00 PM] Arthur Dent is overcome by the need to kill Murmadon (Marida Ianni-Ravn)
[21:00 PM] The Gibbering Man lies in wait for white_rabbit (Jacob Coxon)

Saturday, 21 October

[10:00 AM] A not so quiet Saturday lecture sees a clash between The Fundamental Group and Alcibiades (Luke Gardiner)
[10:30 AM] 1, 2 and 3, Omar Patel clears out DoodleBobBuffPants (Ajay Ahir), Miss Scarlet (Alex Smallwood) and Jackie Chan (Joycelyn Li) in the space of 80 minutes with the help of Anastasia Chibulkova.
[12:30 PM] We're still having teething problems with The AutoUmpire, as the targeting module fails to deliver.
[13:00 PM] Grand theft bicycle is averted by Trexer... if only it wasn't Spoons (Lulu Beatson)'s own bike.
[14:00 PM] Emile Ward's deadly ruse fools Draco Mouthboy (Michael Collingwood) and manages to get past Gray's experimental 'lock' technology.
[15:30 PM] The postal service makes a delivery to The Man who was Thursday (Sebastian Putman)
[19:10 PM] Cornelius encourages paranoia, but this time it was unnecessary, Hides-From-View carefully takes out AdA (Alice Wenban)
[23:00 PM] Teresa exterminates Dr. Song (Emilie Colliar) and Sebastian Melmoth (Molly O'Gorman). Maybe they'd be interested in returning as 'cyber men'?
[23:30 PM] Stacey goes wandering and sees something that cannot be unseen.

Sunday, 22 October

[01:00 AM] The Beast of Burden goes on a midnight wander to Mr. Pizza (Jaehyeon Kim)
[10:00 AM] Furston LeDolier slays the defenseless The Innocuous Postman Who Keeps Accidentally Bumping Into People While Carrying Very Sharp Parcels (Dani Cugini)
[11:00 AM] The early bird, Ratagan, catches The Mongol (Zdravkov Zahariev)
[17:00 PM] Lulu Beatson (Anastasia Price) mistakenly answers the door to their killer, Jaqen C137
[21:00 PM] The Bandit and Xerxes Rockatansky escape the clutches of Friedrich Van Caspar and Bridget Spike

Monday, 23 October

[00:20 AM] Teresa returns to the scene of the crime to find Nicholas Flammel (Lucas Booker-Munoz)
[13:45 PM] A public service announcement on honesty. Do not be like A. A. Ron Rodgers (Richard Pickup) and give your name to assassins like Alexander (James Quentin) Duggan when asked.
[17:30 PM] Albireo butchers Bilinda the Butcher (Thomas Peirce), how ironic
[18:00 PM] Haytham provides a free security system check
[19:05 PM] Ulex Stultus AKA Hatman AKA The Gibbering Man (Alex Craggs), the highest scoring player in the game, is brought down by the relentless hunt of the Queenslayer.
[20:10 PM] Makishima makes an attempt on Diamond Dog's education
[23:00 PM]
[23:00 PM] The Fundamental Group stares down their hunter, Yacapo

Tuesday, 24 October

[11:00 AM] TheLegend27 dispatch of Freesa Everforest (Friso de Graaf)
[14:00 PM] 8848 (Michael Djali) comes home to an unwelcome visitor, Haytham
[16:45 PM] Nolan Dforme (Matthew Barton) loses his will in this harsh society
[17:00 PM] Mr. Razor leaves a note for the evasive Jul Tamer
[18:30 PM] A Mop cleans up The Beast of Burden (Kip White-Saini)
[19:00 PM] Alexander (James Quentin) Duggan learns it's a bad idea to visit a target unarmed!
[22:00 PM] The Empty Man kills TheLegend27 (Ross Sullivan) and Nobus pulls off a terrible betrayal
[23:00 PM] Miguel Jaksoni has a rather amusing experience.

Wednesday, 25 October

[08:00 AM] Charlotte Corday (Olga Trinder) kills Bourne (Zhaomou Song), but Anastasia Chibulkova shows their true allegiance, betraying them to Omar Patel
[08:15 AM] A dull start for Makishima
[09:00 AM] The Shadow Surfer chooses his target list over his allegiance to Reginald (Sam Sully)
[10:00 AM] Pileup! Karm Wood (Kathleen Bowman) is taken out by Alexandra Bickerstaff (Ella Inwald), but is also swiftly avenged by Magdala Buckley
[10:55 AM] Jaqen C137 (Henry de Spoelberch) might have noticed Bridget Spike if they were a bit less distracted.
[16:50 PM] Andromeda makes an attempt on Bonnie Prince Charlie's life
[17:00 PM] Cuddly Attack Bear makes a kill on Dr. Zaius (Kieran Kejiou) with an unspecified tactic.
[17:20 PM] Andromeda makes a second attempt, but The nastily physical physical natsci isn't home
[19:50 PM] Extinct Turtle circumnavigates some security and manages to take out Jacques Descole (Robert Hudson)
[20:00 PM] Bubblegum dispatches of their first target, Isildur (Daniel Harwood)
[21:45 PM] Jul Tamer tracks down Karl Keynes (Nick Monioudis)
[23:20 PM] Hazie kills Clarissa Moon (Zoe Cavendish) thanks to Queenslayer's door opening ability

Thursday, 26 October

[09:30 AM] Bubblegum goes for an early morning walk, Kokich (Kaloyan Nikolov) gets in the way
[11:00 AM] Guy Incognito learns the importance of an accomplice
[17:40 PM] Makishima strikes down a Bear (Faris Khan)
[18:30 PM] Last week, Winnie the Pooh went on a little journey
[18:30 PM] Caules Forvegde Yggdmillenia takes down Diamond Dog (Josh Garfinkel), and Winnie the Pooh misses out on his honey
[18:45 PM] Miguel Jaksoni doesn't quite cut it as a villain, maybe he should join the Henchmen's Union
[21:15 PM] Yacapo commits a sinful act, murdering Edward House (Dominykas Ruibys)
[21:30 PM] Alexander (James Quentin) Duggan cuts the date of Commander Christian Cuck (C Cubed on the streets) (Alex Denny) short with their blade
[22:45 PM] Jul Tamer (David Levi) is taken down by a winged vigilante, Starkey

Friday, 27 October

[10:00 AM] Alexander Homerton did not throw away his shot, unfortunately for Noot Noot Pingu (Birranavan Parthmasri)
[13:00 PM] Stacey interupts Charlie Worsley (Will Styles)'s meal
[16:30 PM] Gorgeous Git and Holey Hick perfectly perform an aggressive attack. The umpire sucks at alliteration and somewhere along the way, Bubblegum (Amanda Hu) dies and Burt Reynold's Sentient Pancakes is attempted on.
[18:00 PM] Merlin really should have reported their kill of ThomasTheSkankEngine (Anastasia Dalchanina)
[18:50 PM] Triple Nipple is reminded why they call it 'experimental' technology, but still manages to relaunch and kill Fishpan (Ishaan Bhardwaj)
[21:10 PM] Something WICKED this way comes! Kriemhild Gretchen, Teresa and Hazie obey it's call
[23:00 PM] Queenslayer settles the score with Red-bellied black (Lewis Nicolson) with the help of Hazie

Saturday, 28 October

[09:50 AM] Haytham saves the police a job, taking out the soon-to-be incompetent Rihfok (Lukas Cincikas)
[11:40 AM] Electronite narrowly avoids the incobash by killing Phalanx Centrus (Dan Gordon) at the last possible moment.
[13:30 PM] Cornelius Gray's second news announcement.
[13:45 PM] Monsieur Breadperson is sent on the incobash by Cornelius Gray
[14:00 PM] The incobash!
[14:00 PM] A word of warning from our Chief Enforcer of the Law, The Geiger Countess. All lawbreakers will be punished
[14:00 PM] Cornelius Gray himself takes a team through Cambridge and clean up Merlin (Ollie Evans), Spaghetti (Luca Righetti), Sam Stephenson (Cesca Lisle), Eky JJ (Emma-Kate Jones) and Serene Symphony (Jerry Tam)
[14:00 PM] Ivanova Koestler has a very busy incobash, personally taking out Smangoman (Shyam Dhokia) and datboi (Dan Lloyd-Davies)
[14:30 PM] The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) returns to their usual postal route and Geoffrey Pritchard (Jonathan Iceton) receives a package
[15:30 PM] Another successful delivery, The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) makes Mr. F (Karthik Subramaniam)'s day
[16:00 PM] Mad Lord Geoffrey survives an encounter with the incobash and kills the Umpire himself
[16:15 PM] Andrew Marlow does the unthinkable, destroying The AutoUmpire (Twm Stone). I needed that...
[16:30 PM] Monsieur Breadperson takes the cake, claiming the kill of Magpie (Bathsheba Lockwood Brook)
[17:00 PM] Yet another success of the incobash, Monsieur Breadperson stops loafing around and kills Zoro (Carlos Val Mas)
[18:40 PM] Hides-From-View takes out TheBSMouse (Max Williamson) and an innocent, making them wanted!
[19:00 PM] Flip Flop Thief kills two incos with one bullet at dinner
[19:10 PM] Andromeda hits The Lantern Bearer (Lauren Turner) over the head with a radioactive brick
[20:00 PM] Miguel Jaksoni dons a disguise for Halloween and takes out K West (Pretesh Patel)
[20:50 PM] Pseudonymous Bosch and Falcon Jones kill Breaux (Charlie Worsley) and shoot the corpse of The Lantern Bearer
[21:00 PM] Back From Retirement leads the excursion to [REDACTED COLLEGE], leading to the death of Homo Economicus (Yi Song), Sabrinasingh (Neal Patel), Sue Do Nym (Isabel Clancy), The Stallion (Carlo Scarian), ComeGetMeBruv (Kayden Xie)
[21:00 PM] The unstoppable The Geiger Countess leads Carl Friedrich Gauss, LaTeX Forest and Back From Retirement to their targets, demonstrating the power of the Force of the Law
[21:00 PM] Carl Friedrich Gauss joins the incobash to a far away College, ending the life of Homo Economicus (Yi Song)
[21:30 PM] Carl Friedrich Gauss recounts the disastrous attempt on Shadow Kirito
[21:30 PM] Brian Bay and Noob-Noob use Basil Spence (Henry Aldridge) as target practice
[21:35 PM] The duo, Brian Bay and Noob-Noob take out another incompetent, Amapola Escarlata (Aida Sanchez Ricol)

Sunday, 29 October

[11:00 AM] Queenslayer 's rampage continues as they take out May (Helen Ridout) and Fluffy Retribution (Zoe Gyamfi) with a little help this time. All men (and women) must die.
[14:30 PM] Our valued citizens, The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) and The Royal Mail Intern deliver two packages to Monsieur Andromeda (Nathan Douglas)
[15:00 PM] The Empty Man attempts to find the remaining hidden incompetents, but returns disappointed
[18:00 PM] Anastasia Chibulkova upholds the law, killing the corrupt Flip Flop Thief (Barnaby Medhurst) but kills an innocent in the process, going corrupt themselves!
[18:26 PM] Professor Incompetent proves himself not to be quite so incompetent as he dispatches Gavrilo Princip (Seb Horton)
[19:00 PM] Newly corrupt Anastasia Chibulkova goes on a killing spree, unfortunately for David Hasselhoff (Joe Thrush), Spilt Milk (Kelvir Thandi) and LaTeX Forest (Leo Zlotnikov)
[22:00 PM] Our loyal police LaTeX Forest reports a concerning issue with Shadow Kirito
[22:20 PM] The Shadow Broker makes a rare move against Bonnie Prince Charlie (Rachel Loughran)
[23:20 PM] A deadly reminder for Gerald (Sam Burry), Incompetents are never safe from Verbatim Tart

Monday, 30 October

[10:00 AM] Albireo was lucky to have plenty of bullets, eventually managing to hit Saq Madiq (Keji Neri)
[11:00 AM] A failed attempt, and shameless plug, from Diogenes the Cynic
[13:20 PM] Le Champignon (Yvan Bollet) finds their own death amongst the shopping isles, courtesy of Makishima
[16:20 PM] Incompetent and foolish, Mr. TiddlyWinkes (Miteyan Patel) easily falls to Verbatim Tart
[18:00 PM] Misty Patricia mercilessly cuts down Albireo (James Rawson)
[19:00 PM] Shadow Kirito (Omar Khassal) is finally taken down by our loyal police member, Verbatim Tart
[19:30 PM] Winnie the Pooh attempts to return a coat
[20:30 PM] Traitorous The Shadow Surfer takes to the streets, but Stacey is too smart for their attempts

Tuesday, 31 October

[10:00 AM] The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) finally manages their delivery to John Maynard Keynes (Sherwood Lam), we are lucky to have such a dedicated postman
[13:00 PM] Helmholtz Watson (Josh Rose) should have kept his senses clear rather than relying on soma. Maybe he'd have noticed G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate if so.
[13:26 PM] Anastasia Chibulkova and his squad catch Oya Sumi (Daniel Howard) with his [REDACTED] down.
[13:40 PM] Pink Panther (Paige Yallop)'s bulletproof glasses fail them and Hides-From-View escapes.
[18:30 PM] Ivanova Koestler turns The Bandit (Kit Livsey) into Kit Deadsey
[18:30 PM] Verbatim Tart seems to be quite literally thirsty for blood, mixing Doc Emmett Brown (Andreas Soteriou)'s blood with his food.
[19:05 PM] Ivanova Koestler takes revenge upon Walshy (James Walsh)
[21:00 PM] Makishima, The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) and Furston LeDolier go reverse trick or treating and James Smith (Sean McGuire) takes the bait
[23:55 PM] Makishima relaxes with Antares (Taras Kolomatski) before stabbing them

Wednesday, 1 November

[10:50 AM] Professor Incompetent's target skips lectures. A wise move
[11:00 AM] The Geiger Countess defeats the corrupt Anastasia Chibulkova (Adrian Del Ser) and they pledge their loyalty to the police once again
[13:00 PM] Future anomalies of "The Shrike" (Adam Kucz) type in the Grey Matter building believed extremely unlikely due to actions of Verbatim Tart twitch
[16:00 PM] Professor Incompetent's patience pays off as he finally gets his target, Diogenes the Cynic (Adam Reeves)
[21:30 PM] The not-quite-corrupt Anastasia Chibulkova is killed, once again, by Verbatim Tart
[21:30 PM] Fat Flube (Jacques Elliott), like many others, seems not to have learned to employ 'the lock', available at all good Gray Corp stores.

Thursday, 2 November

[09:00 AM] Starkey leads the brigade on a failed mission
[10:35 AM] Alisa Reinford catches their bus, but not their target.
[11:00 AM] Anastasia Chibulkova decides loyalty isn't quite for them after all
[12:45 PM] Monsieur Breadperson (Joseph Townsend) almost turns Alexander Homerton's ambush around by killing their accomplice LaTeX Forest and removing a limb from their attacker, but is finally brought down.
[15:30 PM] Kai Reed gives up trying to get to Friedrich Van Caspar at an early hurdle.
[16:00 PM] Caules Forvegde Yggdmillenia exhibits some distressing tendencies.
[21:55 PM] Winnie the Pooh mistakes Arthur Dent (Alex Watson) for honey
[22:00 PM] Magdala Buckley pays Daario N'haeris a visit, but nobody's home.
[22:50 PM] Caules Forvegde Yggdmillenia miscasts, something that allows theboi to escape.

Friday, 3 November

[11:15 AM] Kai Reed attempts on Friedrich Van Caspar once again
[13:00 PM] LaTeX Forest and Vertatim Tart visit the residence of The nastily physical physical natsci
[13:30 PM] No rest for the wicked, LaTeX Forest removes another inco, Ratagan (Ewan Redpath) from our streets
[14:00 PM] Good Citizen Totem Pole carries out their duty on Nobus (Alex Kanavos)
[14:00 PM] theboi (Amit Balter) is taken down in a merciless act by Queenslayer
[14:30 PM] The vigilante Starkey strikes again, unfortunately for Daario N'haeris (Theo Redfern-Nichols)
[16:15 PM] Alexander (James Quentin) Duggan, like so many others, simply goes wandering.
[16:50 PM] Alistair Chakravati narrowly escapes death at the hands of Mr. Razor
[22:01 PM] Queenslayer and Hazie find themselves foiled by 'the lock' (TM)
[22:58 PM] Teresa hunts, but comes up with nothing.

Saturday, 4 November

[10:00 AM] Guy Incognito overhears The nastily physical physical natsci (Freddie Bartlett-Evans) talking of their incompetency, and promptly dispatches of them
[11:20 AM] Mop gets a bit lost and makes the most of where he is, but still comes up empty.
[18:00 PM] Another pair of wanderers return empty handed.
[21:37 PM] Ivanova Koestler is going to cost Gray some time to put her back together. Blame Yacapo for that.
[22:00 PM] Jose Haqq-Lee enjoys a nice refreshing murder of The Gallant Galos (Gabriella Gormley)
[23:04 PM] The Frustrated Fishmonger has an eventful, but unsuccessful week.

Sunday, 5 November

[11:00 AM] Not even sleep could keep Verbatim Tart from Bridget Spike (Paul Wernicke)
[19:00 PM] Alexander (James Quentin) Duggan makes quick work of Andrew Marlow (Paul Gardner)

Monday, 6 November

[19:15 PM] Totem Pole's guilt and Andromeda (Grace McQuillan-Howard)'s misplaced weapon still aren't enough to save her.
[20:30 PM] Makishima has an unlucky day
[23:11 PM] LaTeX Forest should either pretest his bullets or offer more prayers to whatever deity presides over luck... 2 misfires give Gorgeous Git the opportunity to fight back.

Tuesday, 7 November

[08:40 AM] The Shadow Broker succeeds in an early morning attack on Kitty Harper (Seren Jones-Reddy)
[09:55 AM] Wilson Overdrive intercepts Mr. Razor (David Lever) with their knife
[10:30 AM] The Fundamental Group goes on a long, confusing journey
[10:36 AM] Hazie goes wandering with a companion, but nothing comes of it.
[13:00 PM] The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) is always prepared for a delivery, unfortunately for Deathy McDeathface (Nayan Thakurani)
[13:05 PM] The Geiger Countess brings peace to our streets, at the cost of Mad Lord Geoffrey's (George Little's) life
[14:40 PM] Mr. Weenie destroys the serenity of the library and must be punished
[15:50 PM] The incredibly incompetent Professor Incompetent incompetently stabs a dead Mad Lord Geoffrey
[16:00 PM] Xerxes Rockatansky escapes the deadly clutches of Caules Forvegde Yggdmillenia
[22:00 PM] Winnie the Pooh travels to the far ends of the Hundred Acre Woods

Wednesday, 8 November

[09:30 AM] Nothing will stop Alisa Reinford from catching their bus... nothing.
[13:20 PM] The Geiger Countess removes a corrupted Twitch from the city, Flip Flop Thief (Barnaby Medhurst)
[17:00 PM] A busy day for LaTeX Forest as he removes Xerxes Rockatansky (Maxim Clarke) and NJT (Nusrath Tapadar) from the streets permanently. A brief exchange of fire leaves Holey Hick injured, but still standing.
[20:00 PM] Triple Nipple (Conrad Barclay) was definitely right to be suspicious of Guy Incognito
[22:33 PM] Alisa Reinford actually has no bus and has to walk!? What madness is this?

Thursday, 9 November

[09:42 AM] Yacapo (Jake Bruchez) stumbles and Emile Ward takes the kill.
[10:54 AM] Ivanova Koestler goes after Emile Ward. They are saved by Gray Corp medics.
[14:00 PM] Magdala Buckley fails to bump into Trexer
[16:00 PM] The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) delivers to a rather unwilling receiver, Uncreative pseudonym (Aristotle Lau)
[18:30 PM] Seb Moran attempts to find Trexer at dinner
[19:00 PM] Seb Moran has an unlucky evening
[19:46 PM] Spicy Parmigianino goes on a trip and finds Mr. Weenie (Oliver Bilbie)
[23:59 PM] Emile Ward evades the deadly Starkey

Friday, 10 November

[12:00 PM] The police attempt to take out The Gentleman... it doesn't end well and Back From Retirement goes very, very corrupt
[12:16 PM] The Shadow Surfer gets more frustrated with the absence of others.
[14:04 PM] On the bus and away to adventure for Kriemhild Gretchen and Alisa Reinford!
[18:45 PM] The Empty Man finally makes a move again, his target, Electronite (Yanhao Wang)
[18:47 PM] Makishima goes wandering. That is all.
[19:08 PM] A fine bit of information gathering from Queenslayer lands her a clean kill on Alistair Chakravati (Anthony Lim)
[21:20 PM] Queenslayer and Hazie go hunting but only find dead assassins
[22:00 PM] Professor Incompetent proves themselves to be more incompetent than previously thought

Saturday, 11 November

[00:00 AM] The Shadow Surfer's (David Horstmann) complacency gives Omar Patel an opening
[15:00 PM] The Royal Mail Intern encounters a stressful workplace scenario, thanks to The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed)

Sunday, 12 November

[11:00 AM] Teresa is foiled many many times by GrayCorp security measures.
[14:20 PM] An unlikely pairing of Caules Forvegde Yggdmillenia and The Geiger Countess come together to move in on Johnny Letterbomb (Alex Hancock)

Monday, 13 November

[12:00 PM] The Shadow Broker beats Aaron Burr to the shot, killing Alexander Homerton (Roddy MacSween)
[13:00 PM] The paranoia gets to Cuddly Attack Bear, who decides The Shadow Surfer (David Horstmann) and Reginald 2.0 (Sam Sully) are too suspicious
[13:00 PM] The fools at GrayComm (why do I even keep that branch running?) discover a recording.
[13:02 PM] A rather confused series of events.
[15:00 PM] Professor Incompetent's reign of terror continues to not go according to plan
[18:00 PM] Pseudonymous Bosch and his accomplice fail to gain entry
[21:00 PM] Wilson Overdrive loses their arms to a terrible twosome

Tuesday, 14 November

[10:45 AM] Noob-Noob does a wonderful job of suppressing that little glitch in his system and removes non contributor Gorgeous Git (Georgia Everest) from the city.
[19:20 PM] Professor Incompetent, Miguel Jaksoni AKA Professor Incompetent (Alastair Haig)'s reign of terror is ended by Totem Pole. The one advantage of a knife over a gun, reliability.

Wednesday, 15 November

[10:40 AM] Winnie the Pooh strikes an innocent, sending themselves wanted!
[13:00 PM] A hit on Cuddly Attack Bear goes wrong and Cornelius Gray is destroyed
[14:00 PM] Magdala Buckley adventures to the empty homes of many assassins
[16:20 PM] Dr. Mangos (Tim Trayhurn) gets cocky, Chelsea puts an end to that
[20:00 PM] Professor incompetent is reanimated, Unit 1NC0 joins the Twitch Program

Thursday, 16 November

[07:50 AM] Winnie the Pooh is having a bad day
[12:00 PM] Cuddly Attack Bear is once again attacked by the police
[13:45 PM] WICKED demands blood. Teresa provides, at the expense of Misty Patricia's (Clara Bayley's) life

Friday, 17 November

[01:00 AM] Starkey makes a plan
[10:50 AM] Makishima chases an invisible target
[13:30 PM] Makishima finds that no one seems to attend lectures
[17:00 PM] Stacey wanders.
[17:10 PM] Omar Patel visits [REDACTED].
[18:52 PM] Killing innocents... apparently all the cool assassins are doing it, as is The Frustrated Fishmonger
[19:00 PM] The self proclaimed Parchment Eaters begin a joint venture. Trillian (Mi Trinh) and Trexer are their first victims.
[21:22 PM] The deadly trio goes hunting again, but find their targets sufficiently paranoid.

Saturday, 18 November

[08:12 AM] The Shadow Broker helps The Frustrated Fishmonger escape from the blades of the Twitch enforcers by offering up Haytham (Lee Jia Jun) instead.
[15:45 PM] Caules Forvegde Yggdmillenia continues to be a good citizen. We need to watch this one.
[19:00 PM] The parchment eaters and their new ally Chelsea dispatch The Spanish Inquisition (Alonso Campos) and then stumble across the giant Teresa (Andrew Carlotti) Teresa AKA Winnie the Pooh AKA Starkey

Sunday, 19 November

[01:11 AM] The beginning of the end.
[19:17 PM] Ivanova Koestler announces their corruption by slaughtering DoodleBobBuffPants and Agent Breadperson
[19:30 PM] The Geiger Countess destroys the corrupt Screw Your Theme, I'm Batman, claiming several bounties in the process
[19:50 PM] Ivanova Koestler's rampage continues as they dispatch Emile Ward. Gray sees fit to restore life to this individual, however.
[21:00 PM] Burt Reynold's Sentient Pancakes (Nathan Smith) is eliminated by ThE C0lLeCtIvE
[21:30 PM] With a single shot, Totem Pole takes out Furston LeDolier AKA The Empty Man AKA The Frustrated Fishmonger (Nicholas Heitler)
[22:15 PM] Totem Pole betrays our number one player, Makishima AKA Caules Forvegde Yggdmillenia AKA The Shadow Broker AKA Alisa Reinford AKA Chelsea (Andrew Browne), killing them in cold blood

Monday, 20 November

[12:24 PM] A concise kill of Stacey (Francis Madden)

Tuesday, 21 November

[16:00 PM] The Geiger Countess keeps the side of order going, nearly single handed, retrieving data from Anastasia Chibulkova
[17:30 PM] Hazie stabs Pleia in a classic stalk and kill
[19:00 PM] We were right to add this one to the force. Furston LeDolier remains loyal.
[20:26 PM] Some reports from an old game.

Wednesday, 22 November

[01:10 AM] The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) still does not work for GrayCorp... and has made this very very obvious now.
[10:00 AM] Ivanova Koestler continues to rebel against Gray. Such an interesting glitch...
[10:20 AM] LaTeX Forest remembers that incompetents are a thing and picks up after Gray's shoddy work with Cuddly Attack Bear (India-Jane Barry)
[11:52 AM] Ulex Sturpus downloads a 'patch'. Brian Bay falls.
[14:26 PM] Der Shooter 'shadows' The Fundamental Group to Sainsbury's.
[21:00 PM] The Invisible Hand actually makes a move... it's not a successful move, but it is a move.

Thursday, 23 November

[01:47 AM] Cornelius Gray drifts through the city. Eventually, he finds what he's looking for, Deodorant Flavour Crisps (Aidan McConnell) is one of the few Gray removes from the city.
[13:00 PM] Queenslayer and Hazie (Seyma Sever) execute a not-so-perfect ambush on Sneaky Sashimi AKA Extinct Turtle AKA Totem Pole AKA Wilson Overdrive (Evgeny Slavin)
[13:22 PM] The Geiger Countess continues to carry her side.
[16:26 PM] [REDACTED]
[19:33 PM] The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) and Furston LeDolier 'bump' into each other.

Friday, 24 November

[10:00 AM] Ulex Sturpus finds The Geiger Countess under-prepared.
[18:20 PM] Ivanova Koestler does exactly what Twitches should do and turns Furston LeDolier's ambush around... just, they're on the wrong side.
[20:03 PM] A tense situation is resolved with no assassin casualties, but Emile Ward's accomplice goes down.

Saturday, 25 November

[00:31 AM] Queenslayer sends The Invisible Hand a message.
[11:30 AM] Furston LeDolier kills Ivanova Koestler... again.
[18:30 PM] LaTeX Forest bravely defeats the incompetent Holey Hick (Tim Havard)
[19:20 PM] Emile Ward (Ward van der Schoot) is punished by the bloodthirsty LaTeX Forest

Monday, 27 November

[13:20 PM] The Fundamental Group and Trexer go looking, but Mop is nowhere to be found.
[16:00 PM] Flip Flop Thief fails to learn their lesson
[18:00 PM] The battle between Ivanova Koestler and Furston LeDolier rages on
[19:00 PM] Mop cleans up the inco list, removing Friedrich Van Caspar (Lorenzo Marzano)
[19:30 PM] The Innocuous Postman who keeps bumping into people while carrying very sharp objects (re-employed) detours from their usual route to take care of TibG and Kriemhild Gretchen (Alice Bennett)

Tuesday, 28 November

[08:42 AM] Mop continues to come out of nowhere and dispatches fellow duellist Omar Patel (Kanyi Tochukwu Joshua Onuora) Omar Patel AKA Jose Haqq-Lee AKA Der Shooter
[21:45 PM] The Gentleman (Alexander (Alex) Hibbert) shifts the balance of power in the duel by being killed by Magdala Buckley
[22:20 PM] Nobus declares themselves corrupt, stabbing Nobus

Wednesday, 29 November

[11:10 AM] Furston LeDolier miraculously kills Ivanova Koestler. How these two are assassins, I will never know
[15:25 PM] The Invisible Hand demonstrates a dislike for lectures
[19:15 PM] The AutoUmpire removes Alexander (James Quentin) Duggan, a potential duellist from the game!

Thursday, 30 November

[10:00 AM] Anastasia Chibulkova ponders the identity of the mysterious loyalist
[23:59 PM] And so the game ends, not with a bang but a dispute.

Friday, 1 December

[12:00 PM] Alexander (Alex) Hibbert provides a factual report on the duel, as they are convinced they are still the Umpire
[12:00 PM] Parting words from our new M.A., Mop AKA Thomas Carey

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