A craze bigger than all of the Pokemon in Japan has hit the world. This new game involves spelling out words by killing people! Whatever next?
Steve McCann reports:
I was leaving work at approximately 5pm on friday and was making an attempt to load my gun with water, so naturally I used corporate mineral water. After failing to fill it up without looking like an unprofessional ee>jit, I had to leave work unarmed and go and fill my gun up there. It looked a bit shifty.
I was in the bathhosue, and being quite worried that I only had a water gun with me I took out a pen from my stationary and wrote "knife" on a post-it note. >.> And yeah, the post-it note didn't stick on very well so I needed additional post-it notes to stick to it. >.> Then someone who looked a lot like Jesus, s/Jesus/Jacob Samuel Corteen, walked in, so I dived to the floor... at the time the waitress person was attempting to give me a plain burger and chips... Emma was quite embarrassed. So I waited until the Jake look-a-like disappeared and continued with the being nervous &eating. Then George Davies of all people arrived... this did not help my heart. I fear the paranoia has gotten to me, old man!
I was unarmed on Grange Road and saw Philip Bielby, so I exist stage left-ed & ran away into Selwyn college. I then rang Emma and ordered her, s/ordered/asked, to bring me a gun so I could kill Philip. We then went to Robinson to lurk for him but didn't find him... I then went to Burrell's in an attempt to B5 Micky's battleship... but it had already gone... so we sat around for a bit. I did attempt to keep them talking until they all came back to life... but Simeon was too paranoid :P
Myself and accomplice Emma lurked for Raccoon and CF in blue boar O. I had already arranged for Simeon, Ben, Jake, Micky and Philip (by doing nothing) to come along and so I felt sure I'd shoot someone. I did shoot someone, which was Raccoon... and CF's arm a bit... I then stopped shooting as I was told I was in an out-of-bounds area. I was thinking that since in all previous games the corridor outside the umpires room was in-bounds when a live player lived on their floor then all was well with my tactic, but alas no... slightly later CF shot Oli Stratford from about 2 foot away from where I was OOB. >.> <.< :( It doesn't really affect much since Raccoon was already dead and I only got CF in the arm, but it was the arm that he had been holding his gun in... so clearly I could have shot him lots more...
Dear Umpire I had to kill the an attacker by the name of Simon Abernethy. At around about 6:00 Simon decided it was a good idea to hide in the gyp room, he did not count on the fact that others may said gyp room... Lets just say mistakes were made which gave me time to duck (like those in the Emma paddock) dive across the floor and hit him at point black range. Sincerely SDG
How does one kill a man who sends speculative shots around corners on no more evidence than a suspicious IRC idle time?
Answer: Don't be behind that corner.
Experiment failed. +++ Out of sleep error. Redo from start +++
At seven of the clock this evening, I was walking through the courts of Jesus when I saw three females approaching me. The path was narrow, and in the darkness I could not make out their faces, but caution advised me to wait at an intersection until I could identify who they were. Seeing my lurking ways, the third female, who now appeared to be Alicia Danks, halted and looked at me in a quizzical manner. I stared back, and thus we stood for a good minute, neither of us moving a muscle. Then she spake, "You're acting rather suspiciously" "So are you," I replied, as I wondered whether she was about to pull a gun which would be no match for my small dagger. However, she remained immobile, and I plucked up the courage to make a dash at her with the aforementioned knife. As it turned out, she herself was unarmed, and thus there was no struggle.
At about 9pm persons resembling Amy Booth and Micky Donaghy (or at least I think it was - in the dark it was hard to tell [Umpire - it was actually Emma]) were seen wandering around Robinson sporting various pieces of aquatic weaponary. Being myself unarmed, I quickly ran back to my room and rectified this. After firing some shots at them from a walkway, I attempted to sneak up on them from the gardens, but alas they had fled by the time I got back. Or at least i think they had...
now I have been killed! I was working away in my room when I heard a knock on my door. Not suspecting that any assassin would come after me at 10pm, I blithely opened it without checking first to see who was there. This was a lethal mistake - I almost instantly found myself riddled with bullets from Philip Bielby's maching gun.
Hi I hope i'm doing this right, this is the first game I've played. I killed James Brister with a 'knife' this evening. Is that all the info I need to give? [Umpire - that will suffice]
Tonight myself and Emma Nash visited several places: in Robinson, I knocked on Phil Hubbard's door, but he appeared out. Then as we were leaving he shot at me, but to no avail. Then we visited Beth English, and had a protracted fight over her door; she broke my shield with my own shuriken, but nothing much happened overall (at first Beth claimed Emma had shot the innocent in her room, but when I told said innocent she shouldn't be holding the door if she'd been shot, she said she had dodged it).
Next on to Trinity, where James Brister was lame and didn't come out. Someone on the correct corridor said "Oli, you're a bit outgunned" or some such, so I unloaded my wildfire (in very much fatal fashion) into the guy holding a watergun in a party on said corridor. He then shot at me a bit and claimed in highly suspicious/jocular fashion to be a different Oli; I trust you can sort this out. The last trinitarian didn't seem to be in.
In Emmanuel Emma managed to mutilate the corpse of Simon Abernethy, then we failed to gain entry to the room of Callum Rhodes.
Finally, we visited Harvey Court, where sadly Emma was fatally surprised while engaged in conversation with an old and well-known ex-assassin :(. I attempted to avenge her, but Jake ran away, and then ran away a bit more, and eventually I gave up and came home.
Dear Mr. Umpire,
This evening CF killed that dude who lives in O14 with an RBG at 10.20pm We then find philip bielby attacking james brister, CF totally shot him, but philip wasn't convinced, and I didn't see, so lol, but we agreed that nothing happened (because that's all we could really do), but lol nonetheless. Below is a report:
After dropping by the fantabulous Umpire to say hello, we found he was out, which made us :( However, we had noticed on our way in that his assassinular neighbour had a hellboy statue in his window. Thus a cunning plan was formed - CF knocked on the door, saying "I wondered if you'd like to talk about Hellboy". Unfortunately he wasn't taken in, and instead suspected him of being an assassin, but CF shot him anyway, which was nice. (I was covering the escape route, obviously).
I camped outside lectures this morning and shot Liam in the back.
Revenge!!! Callum Rhodes sadly happened upon my fine self in a mutual friends room where we were consuming our traditional beer and bacon luncheon, in a blaze of immense cunning, skill, acrobatics, mysticism and fire power I gunned him down from the comfort of my chair whilst sipping on a Corona. Never come between a man and his bacon and beer. Simon Abernethy
So in being required to touch the Umpire's 'door' at 1pm, we set off to counterlurk all the assassins who were clearly going to lurk for us (despite us being so phearsome). Indeed, moments after our arrival I noticed a very shady character scamper into the building, whom I presumed was a certain monsieur dook - then, for half an hour, CF and I stood guard on the top floor, as we waited for this nefarious individual to make his move. During this time, I saw another fellow enter the building, carrying a large water pistol, and proceeded to throw a grenade approximately 50cm behind him - bugger (though he didn't seem to notice...). Then Trinity's finest, Michael 'micky' lmm turned up, and I threw a grenade at *him* only to miss by a whisker (lol furries). At this point it was 12.57, so it seemed prudent to retreat^w meet our appointment. At this point we discovered that the original mysterious assassin was in fact a certain Mr. Bennett (not *that* Mr. Bennett, the more phearsome one), and the other mystery assassin (the one I missed with a grenade who wasn't micky) was nowhere to be seen. Then CF and I threw things and shot at lmm, before eventually CF took out one arm, and I took out the other, and then we chased him as he made a glorious tactical retreat (it's a Twinity Twadition, and to be fair, he had no arms), but CF shot him (despite a rather awesome last ditch chin thrown something attack). Then we went back to the Umpire's room where he pointed out that his 'door' wasn't attached to his room. We searched the building for it, and eventually found it in his shower (so I'm afraid we were 13 minutes late for our appointment). I then killer raccooned Oli, moments before he shot me and CF with an RBG (which the Umpire had given him, and was actually mine. hmmm.). Fun stuff.
The umpire beat Luke, Liam, Alicia, Micky and Ben in a 5 on 1 with a firefly, imortality not required
report for CTF:
non-OOB CTF makes Alicia sad. not sticking to no-kills makes Alicia sad also. being downwind of a 105 makes Alicia dead.
report for CTF from the Sheffield Guild Monkey:
Having been informed of the Cambridge Guild's high standards of honour and chivalry, to see the fair maiden betrayed by the dastardly, rogue-ish rapscallion Ben caught this primate completely by surprise. My report back to the Sheffield Overlord shall be interesting... Ook!
I was going to write some thoughts about game theory, and the nature of trust, and forgiveness, and weighing rewards and such. But it got a bit boring, so here is a widgeon.
revenge!!! one dead Anna, one thoroughly avenged and happy Alicia :)
Knock knock Who's there? (I see blue hair) Bang bang.
was visited by and killed Ben Weaver with a spectacular diversionary tactic by my accomplice. mwahahaaa [Umpire - it was a No Water zone at the time so the kill doesn't stand. The water status has been changed]
I took some shots at Beth's accomplice and my gun jammed. Then I got shot in the leg, then I complained at being shot with a water gun, and went to see the Umpire, etc.
So, tonight ben knocked on my window asking for a duel. Being the sporting fellow I am, I came out to fight, only to have simeon be standing behind the door out of my building. Click click, from about 2m; I shoot him instinctively. He claims the kill, it seems clear-cut, but I hadn't actually felt anything, so I say "where did you hit me"; then we notice that his gun has jammed. "Shall we step back", I say to Ben, who is currently standing opposite me about a metre away. He goes for his gun, but mine was already pointed at him, so we double-kill. End result: I kill simeon, then me and ben double-kill.
/me needs to lurk moar.
The Umpire reports:
Picnics are dangerous things to get to...
I departed my hideaway in Burrells today, since lurking there for Raccoon didn't seem to have been getting anywhere. I decided to try outside Whewells instead, and lo and behold, he did appear, and fall, impaled on my knives. Oh, and I had a fun little run around with CF, and got my long-lost gun back. Yay!
Dear Mr. Umpire!
We have returned to London, for Cambridge is to fearful for us, it seems. I believe you already know that Mr. Jake rather impressively knifed me earlier, despite our super secret shenanigans (oh well, at least I got to give him his gun back...). But then! 10 minutes later when we came to stroke your door, who should try and shoot me but a mysterious Mr. McCann! Unfortunately for him I was dead, and then when CF appeared we were all rather out of bounds (and we're not entirely sure where he was hit, anyway). However! The important point is that whilst we were standing around working out what to do, Mr. Oli got visitors! So CF super sneakily snuck down the corridor and shot him through his open door. He felt bad about it though, as he wasn't wearing any trousers (Oli that is, not CF, he'd just run halfway around Cambridge chasing Jake...).
Then Steve rang Philip to tell him we'd be in the market square at 2pm (hmm...) so we went there (hmm...) and promptly ran away after Steve vanished (apparently they had shenanigans). We did spend quite some time standing inside Gap pretending to be interested in their (female) clothes (hmm...).
Oh, and no-one tried to kill CF as we fled Cambridge on our private jet (which looked suspiciously like a coach...).
Having other things on my mind I sadly neglected to lock my door. This was ungood and I was subsequently gunned down by an individual with a sub machine gun to the theme tune of Hawaii 5 O. Happily however he thought my hat collection to be quite impressive.
I attempted to lure Philip Bielby into town so I could kill him with Emma P and Christian F as my assistants, Micky W and Dude X were also there. We hid in numerous places including GAP, River Island, GAP for kids, Marks & Spencer, Borders, The Eagle, River Island, The Grafton Centre and River Island. Eventually I spotted Philip and he spotted me... I ran away and called Team Furry.... they had ran away by this point as they'd presumed I'd ran away. :(
So I attempted to sneak up on Philip, which didn't work very well as I had to run away... he was at the 3 way junction near the corn exchange. So I attempted to sneak up on him from a different vector... he then spotted me again and chased me a bit... so I retreated to River Island. I then decided to attack directly from the market square... there was not enough cover to make a proper attempt from here so I retreated again. I went past Barclays and up king's parade to come round past the eagle to move in on him... as I went passed the bath house he saw me and attempted to move in... so I retreated once more. I was quite aware that I only had a Max-D 3000 and he had a CPS 1k... I also had 4 knives... so was using knives as my primary weapon. I moved back a bit, and then attempted to move in again using a different selection of cover... I could not get close enough and this time he appeared to want to chase me...
So having run away turning left and then going up piss alley... I started moving back towards him from the anchor... I decided to surprise him & stuff so I circled round to come at him from River Island again... (at this point I'd noticed that Emma had stopped calling me to give me updates on his position)... I peered round a corner and he spotted me :( so I ran away again back to the market square. At this point I spotted Emma so I handed her my gun while I tied my shoelaces... she informed me that she was a dead innocent. :(
I now had to use my own wits against Philip, in which case I realised that I was quite poorly armed in general so I felt the subtle approach was required. I went along King's Parade and moved in on Philip from the alleyway halfway down (it notably splits into 2 alleys which is good for sneaking)... I was now alongside the hairdressers and looked through the small unpostered gaps in both windows to see Philip at the junction again. I looked round the corner to get a clearer look and he was looking away, he turned to look my direction so I pulled my head back... I did this several times and he seemed to be moving towards the Eagle slowly.... I planned to move on him quickly as soon as he was out of sight... there was also a large crowd moving towards the corner so that would obscure his vision which was also good for me. He moved round the corner so I ran at the corner and ducked as I got to the crowd... but oh noes! He came back round the corner, I strafed to the right so that 2 elderly people blocked his line of sight but he spotted me. In a moment he raised the CPS to two hands and reacted... but then in another moment tried to pretend that nothing was amiss and looked blankly round. His acting was good but not good enough, I knew he'd seen me... I fired one shot his was and ran up the street.... he dodged and then moved after me...
I exited stage right into the Eagle beer garden and moved into the Eagle pub, I had the advantage that he couldn't use a CPS in there but I only had knives, 2 of which I'd already lost in one of the moving in's from the River Island area. I considered ordering a glass of coke in the bar and taking off my coat so that I could get the jump on him but decided this was the tiredness talking. Philip, with the larger gun, had been expending much less energy than I had so I moved to the entrance of the eagle and saw him approaching, he was far enough away for me to run for it... which I did.
Next, I circled round through the alleyway from earlier and poked my head round the corner to see if I could spot him... he did spot me but I snapped by head back very quickly so thought that he may think that I didn't know he knew that I was there. So I ran around and down the other alley and looked round the corner to see Philip moving on the first corner... but he was moving on a very wide arc... Blast! He'd deduced that I knew that he knew that I knew that he knew I was there and additionally that I would move to the second corner and was so moving on the second corner... I made a hasty retreat at this junction towards the market square.
I hid behind the sausage van for a moment and then looked round the corner... he spotted me once again as I snapped my head back out of sight. At this point I knew Philip was correctly reading most of my movements as we are good friends and know how each other thinks to a certain extent... so I decided to do the opposite of what I'd normally do in most cases...
I waited for 10 seconds...
Then walked around the corner from where he'd spotted me... he was still looking my way... so I ran back around the corner. I had predicted this, so now was where I unleashed my cunning plan...
I waited for 10 seconds...
Then I ran around the very same corner and attempted to get to the alley that he had just moments early tried to kill me at... he was facing completely the other way, Profit!... Alas, just as I was disappearing from his view he looked around and spotted me. The distance was just too great for me to make without a paranoid assassin such a Philip to have not noticed... So I ran all the way around to the market square and hid there while phoning Philip.
We had a chat, I told him i had only 2 letters, he told me he only had 1... (I actually had 1 and he had 3)... I was hoping that by talking to me on the phone he would ignore the passage of time and not noticed me moving around to attack from River Island again.
As I went through the market I saw Philip standing at the corner just around from the corn exchange, near the junction I have mentioned many times in this report. I moved stealthily along the street between River Island and that area and didn't see Philip peering round the corner. So I moved in with my ultra silent running technique... and jumped around the corner... Philip was not there! I turned around, oh there's Philip about 20 metres away watching me sneak up on a wall. I wave, he waves... I run.
Now we get to the exciting part!
As I ran I feigned so that Philip would think I was going around to attack from the other side... but I was to continue moving in on Philip from River Island. I moved along slowly and surely, giving Philip time to move the other way and go to the T-junction. Philip was not there so I ran up to the corner directly opposite the hairdressers near the alleyway. I raised my arm with knife in hand ready to throw at him. Then I heard a noise... it sounded like a water gun hitting the ground. It wasn't mine, I looked to the left... it was a tourist who had dropped some shopping of some kind. Philip would have heard this also... he'll be coming this way.... Sprow! It's Philip about 3-4 metres away... I throw the knife... it hits the ground about a metre in front of me...
"Bollocks!", I exclaimed, and turned to run but Philip gave chase... I fired back at him and he fired at me... both fell short and I ran away up the road towards the corn exchange. I was tired from being an old man and from spending most of the previous 50 minutes trying to kill Phil and running away from him lots too. So I decided this would be the last stand... my Max-D 3000 versus his CPS 1k... I ran to the high ground of the corn exchange... two innocents about 10 metres away saw us and ran away for some reason, (i was concerned by this but maybe they'd spotted the last two Ricky Gervais tickets in the ticket office or something)... As I got to the high ground, I changed direction and fired at Philip, he jerked back and fired at me... he shot was wide of me... my shot only reached his leg. His second shot was at me and at chest height, I fell backwards to the ground and narrowly avoided it.... as it hit the wall behind me... alas my range was not going to increase from being at ground level. His next shot killed me :(
The death was at 2.55pm
Myself and Emma followed Philip to see what shenanigans he would get up to next...
He was visiting Simon A&ernathy, we heard some hilarious music from his room... it was the theme from Hawaii-Five-O and was awesome. Philip was armed with a powerclip. Myself and Emma waited at the bottom of the staircase and this is what we heard:
Knock, knock on the door
"Come in", said Simon
Door opening noise.
2 seconds later....
Chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga... (the sound of a powerclip)
We burst out laughing and the Hawaii-Five-O music ends briefly... lol
This ends my reporting for the moment.
We sat around the table, each waiting to see who would crack first. Simeon to my right, Philip to my left, Steve opposite. Somehow we had all got there alive, but a safe departure would be less assured. The details of that meal are emblazoned on my memory. Even now I can remember the details of our order (Steve had a chicken korma (with boiled rice and peshwari naan)). Afterwards, we left in a rush, jostling for a safe way to go. After a few moments of tense waiting, I shot at a figure rounding a corner towards me, and Steve fell, dead, at the feet of his mourning mistress. Then I ran, for fear that the next death would be mine, and with no one to mourn it.
Dammit. Dead again. It was a dual kill this time, at least. After failing to find unspecified_dudes at unspecified_society, paid a visit to Emma, where Simon Abernethy had a migraine. Callum Rhodes was around, so once he knew we were there, we lurked a bit, and as we were disappearing, he charged and shot me from behind (woof!) but I had my weapon at the ready and we dual-killed. *breaks into song* I can't believe I died last night - oh God I'm dead again / I can't believe I died last night - I'm fucking dead agaaaaaaaain... Ahem. Over and out.
Last night Emmanuel college was filled with the sound of murderous gunfire as I, racing to the aid of Callum Rhodes, engaged a beautiful blue haired assassin whose name sadly I fail to remember, I should have asked but having been wooken up from my sleep induced by two potent migraine tablets I was of less than sound mind. Following two suspicious individuals around North Court I shadowed them into the subway (the tunnel not the tasty sandwhich shop next door) whereupon I opened an epic volley fire from my pistol. Sadly it then transpired that whilst I had blown the brains out of Callums attempted assailent she had in fact shot me in the arse, truly a mortal blow! Thus I believe we agreed upon a dual kill, which was frankly fair enough. I shall have my revenge.
At approximately 10.00 this morning I shot Callum Rhodes.
I was killed by Emma this morning around about 10:00.
11:40 - I arrive outside the room of Ms. English at the time I judge she should be leaving for a lecture, and set up a sniper position on the staircase opposite, with the big bad aetheric sniper rifle of doom.
11:45 - Ms. Booth comes wandering up the staircase, so I lean over the ballustrade and shoot her with my trusty ray gun.
11:55 - Ms. English is not forthcoming, so I knock on her door. No response. She left early? Mathmo hunting time.
12:01 - Riding my hoverbike down King's Parade, I am distracted by the rainbow shimmering form of our physically outstanding Umpire. Looking quickly around for other persons of similar collegiate and triposian status, I espy Mr. James Brister, unholstering his elasto-blaster and moving towards me. Being somewhat unprepared, and unwilling to enter a elasto-blaster fight, I drop the bike and risk the oncoming traffic to make a tactical withdrawal.
12:02 - After some less-than-elegant manouevres with bag, traffic, guns and such, I retrieve my ray gun and return to do brief and satisfactory battle with Mr. Brister.
12:03 - I realise that Mr. Mencel has probably got away. I wonder about Mr. Rhodes, and depart for Emmanuel Station.
12:20 - I leave Emmanuel Station, having had no contact with Mr. Rhodes.
Ben Weaver just shot me. Again. As I called for another assassin friend to go on a lurk, he turned out to be lurking her. Fail :-( At least I can go to Sainsburys and wash my clothes now.
Well, if you will go to Sainsbury's when there's a game on...
18:00 - So, I went to lurk Philip again. We shot at each other for a bit, and then I went to reload, and Philip ran inside.
19:00 - Came home past Emmanuel, went in, came out, (almost literally) bumped into Callum and Simon, shot them, and it turns out they were already dead. >:(
I saw Ben Weaver. He was not wearing a hat.
It was a epic battle, Horatio T Loins fired a barrage bullets, ducking and weaving, I reached the entrance to Y staircase. There was a few minutes of confusion as we dodged each others bullets, but I final dived into an alcove. I bide my time waiting for an opportune and fire a lucky shot. At that very same moment, Horatio lands a lucky shot on me.
Having recovered from being shot in the arse, a recovery of biblical proportions considering the spirital necessity of my arse to my general mental health, I decided to murder once again Callum Rhodes. Realising the foolhardiness of hiding in the gyp room I instead concealed myself like a fox on the floor above him waiting to pounce. Sadly I failed to utilise the element of suprise and instead blew away much of the wall behind him as he threw himself, more cat than man, out off the door and into North Court. This sadly revealed a flaw in my plan... i was now trapped up the staircase. Thus began a mental duel, who would strike first... suddenly I lunged wildly across the landing and opened a devastating fire upon the region under the stairs as Callum did the same to me, for one breif moment we were stripped of our metaphorical clothes and fought like gladiators in a psychedelic colliseum of the mind. This of course resulted in us both killing each other. This however proved handy an hour later when someone shot us both in the Emma plodge, sorry old boy corpses just don't die.
Killed Liam, again
After this morning's heinous sniping at the hands of mr Weaver, I did some household chores- being dead ain't all bad, don'cha know- and once I was alive again, a murderous rampage ensued. First of all, I lurked the dastardly Phil Hubbard of the striking blue eyes, until a bemused second year encountered me. I nearly shot him, but recognised that he wasn't mr Hubbard in time. Under questioning, he informed me that he did not know this "Phil Hubbard". I asked how, given that he lives next door to him, har har har! At this point, he said no, his next door neighbour was a certain Iain Barr Barr Barr. Ohes noes. He could be lying to protect a friend, but I had a feeling about this one. So, I head back to my lair to consult contacts, and lo and behold- the poor unfortunate second year was telling the truth. Phil Hubbard is in fact in I13. Capital I, lower case l... the Umpire is doing it wrong :P
Then, meeting a certain Alicia Danks, we embarked on a killing spree. First of all, we lurked a certain Mr Mencel. After a bit, we decided to come up with an excuse and knock, at which point he declared that he was, in fact, already dead at the nefarious hand of Mr James Brister. Taking this information on board, we then headed in the direction of the staircase of the Umpire himself. He'd left his door open again LOL. The dashing miss Danks formulated an excuse whilst I lurked. My potential street trap was unnecessary, since the unsuspecting Oli Stratford opened his door and perished straight away to two bands to the heart. At this point, we decided to avenge mr Mencel, and headed to the abode of Mister Brister. Well, what can I say? Me in the shower gets him wet. Woof.
Spend a while lurking outside the Chaplain of Trinity's door, but to no avail as the intended target is already deceased. 8.52pm Knock on Mr Stratford's door while frantically formulating a highly improbable excuse involving ducks, a lightbulb and my urgent need for sticky tape. 8.53pm Knock again and wonder where Amy's hidden herself. 8.54pm Door is opened without so much as a "who's there?" and Mr Stratford departs this mortal plain with 2 rubber bands lodged in his heart. 9.09pm We move to the Wolfston Building, where I am impressed by the sliding kitchen doors, and Mr Brister is considerably unimpressed at being shot in the back by Amy. So ends the night's revelry.
Having recovered from being shot by Callum Rhodes I decided to adopt a new strategy, actually kill Callum without being shot myself! This I decided to do at 10pm last night when we both miraculously resurrected. Cunningly I decicded to have an accomplice lure Callum out into North Court whereupon I would burst out of another staricase and finally acheive a net kill. Sadly things went fairly wrong, firstly I engaged three beautiful ladies in light conversation as to why I was dressed in my dressing gown and a sombrero which sadly meant I squandered the element of suprise, secondly Callum being a cunning beast was in fact armed, and thirdly my brightly coloured sombrero and pistols alerted him to my prescense. Thus when I lunged wildly out of the door Callum attained an acceleration more befitting a cheetah than a man and thus began a benny hill style chase around north court with each of us unable to shoot the other. Finally Calllum attempted to take cover in his own stairwell and stopped allowing me to open a devastating volley of pistol fire upon him, he however succinctly shot me through the chest with his RBG. Thus like the personification of the great battles on the western front of 1916 we had acheived only a draw for all our mighty efforts.
Yesterday at about 10:00 there was a knock on door. It was Chris, an 'innocent' he told me his computer was broken. So the good Samaritan I was, I had to have a look. I was walking through North court a brightly coloured sombrero. It was Horatio, back for revenge, I ran because I had only picked up a measly RBG, whereas he had two water pistols. I ran around the whole of north court where I was rugby tackled by chris I managed to shoot Horatio just as I got a face full of water.
As I was going to a supervision at 10.55, I spotted Micky standing around suspiciously on the New Museums site. Thinking him to be waiting for someone, and being at present unobserved, I crept up from behind a van and bang-killed him. I then noticed that he had been in a fight with a number of suspicious looking people, so I ran away. It was only later that I realised that at least two of said 'suspicious-looking-people' were non-players (in fact, one was our glorious Umpire), so I needn't have been so cowardly. Oh well...
Hearing cries from my corridor along the lines of "There's an assassin!" and "Argh!", I open my shield and draw my gun, then open the door, and who should I find but that dastardly Mr Weaver? Not this time you don't, sonny. He fires a shot, which I block. I retreat, get my wonderful neighbour to close our mutual front door and move to this new barrier, where I open the door a fraction and shoot through it with the same kind of weapon Mr Weaver first shot me with this game. I hit him, just as Beth comes through the door, having escaped a sly snipe from him as she tried to cook tea. And so, the murderous cycle continues- see you soon, my foe! Aaaaaahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa....
At about 6pm, as I walked through caff, Anna Kalorkoti stabbed me in the arm with a knife - this made me unhappy, because I thought we'd agreed not to kill each other any more. Having ascertained that this is what had happened, and while I still had both hands full of tray and food, she rather oddly ran away without either trying to kill me properly or making a proper no-kill. My mutilated arm miraculously still worked well enough to eat lasagne. I am most perturbed by the whole incident :0/
So there's a knock on my door. No excuses- it's Micky, do you want to fight? I stall them for a bit whilst entreating online for aid from a certain Jake Corteen. By the time he arrives, they have killed poor, unsuspecting Beth, and I'm standing in the entrance to my staircase, engaging them in discussion and firing a couple of shots. I drew them towards a convenient obstacle, at which point, bam bam! They fall to the darts of the deadly mr Corteen. Time of kill: 19:58.
last night Jake killed me at 8.02 at Clare after I'd killed Beth.
So, at 19:58 I killed Michael Donaghy, and at 20:00 I killed Emma Nash, after having been called in to give Amy assistance.
17:45 - I went to Churchill, bastion of miles-away, to hunt the elusive Yuan Cao Zhang. After knocking on his door, being refused entry, walking away, walking back, walking round and watching him stare through the peep-hole for five minutes, I noticed that his window was ajar. So I shot him through it.
18:00 - I went to Clare to wait for Beth to leave her room. At about ten past, she did so, and I shot a big bad bow bolt at her from my sniping position, missing. At this, she ran back inside, and so I went away to visit Amy. Unfortunately, Beth followed, and I managed to become trapped between the two of them with no way out of the building. And then Amy shot me through (what I thought was) an impossibly small crack in a doorway.
so, bummer. +2, -4 >:(
As I was heading back home, I found Mickey outside Sainsburys; he was a coward and ran off. I decided not to give chase and went on. I then saw him again, and again he ran off. As I was cycling up Huntingdon Road, he drew up next to me on his bike and stabbed me in the back.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. My last day of undergraduate lectures, a sort of weary fatalism had overcome me. Barely caring if I lived or died, I took a trip to sainsbury's for lunch armed only with the two knives that had been sitting at the bottom of my bag, probably since my first game.
While standing outside consuming said lunch, what should I see but Emma Nash approaching from the south. I reached for a knife, discovered I had lost the lid, scrabbled around and found my final weapon. Hoping I might get her from behind I rushed around through Borders, but she was less careful or more cunning than I had hoped, and by the time I had emerged she was at the north end of the street. I proceeded towards her, wherupon she unholstered a watergun, so I retreated back to the corner with Green Street, and watched as she mounted her bicycle. "Right", I thought, leaping to my own steed. Not wind nor rain nor double-decker buses stayed my pursuit of her, and at last she seemed within my grasp as she stopped for the lights, but no sooner had she halted than they changed. "Dammit", I thought, and clenched my teeth. About a third of the way up the hill I caught up with her. Switching my blade from right hand to left I pulled out a little, came almost alongside and got her between the shoulder blades. [As you can probably tell, I'm quite proud of that one]
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