The Assassins' Guild - Updates
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New on Sunday, 26 March
[
25 Feb, 20:24 PM]
The Fleeting Shadow at the Corner of Your Eye as you Walk Home on a Moonless, Windless Night eats Extra-Strength Wasabi for breakfast.
[
16 Feb, 10:08 AM]
Pokemon Trainer Cambridge Blue not-so-silently kills The Silent Killer.
[
8 Feb, 19:47 PM]
The dastardly Count Olaf is brought to justice by someone who is Not A Crazed Gunman
[
8 Feb, 15:53 PM]
Pokemon Trainer Cambridge Blue, Isadora Quagmire and Yandere Vocaloids' Senpai go a-hunting, but find not a soul...
[
6 Feb, 14:09 PM]
Kit Snicket kills Kim Warde... What an amusing misspelling?
[
5 Feb, 17:45 PM]
Pokemon Trainer Cambridge Blue goes searching for Guzma, to no avail...
[
3 Feb, 13:54 PM]
The Shadow gets Quigley Quagmire with a cold, iron knife.
[
1 Feb, 12:05 PM]
Isadora Quagmire kills Stephano, and leaves a charming couplet.
[
31 Jan, 18:20 PM]
How tragically, tragically poetic. frog kills his [REDACTED], VFD's Youngest Poet
[
31 Jan, 15:58 PM]
Some serioslyunforgunateebends go down, and The Quagmire Sapphires emerge victorious, while Her Majesty's Super Special Service receive an ominous note...
[
31 Jan, 15:36 PM]
Count Olaf at last reveals themself! Erectile Reptile is brought down by their dastardly plots.
[
31 Jan, 13:01 PM]
Are knives integrable? The Nevermore Tree takes a stab at proving this to The Alchemist
[
31 Jan, 10:54 AM]
Pokemon Trainer Cambridge Blue makes clear her favourite choice of starter: Peterchilledwards3 falls while Ivan Lachrymose spectates the match.
[
31 Jan, 08:50 AM]
Beep... beep... Bang... Quigley Quagmire shoots Benjiamin Christopher Arnold in the heart.
[
30 Jan, 20:38 PM]
The Sagacious Slayer eats Peterchilledwards* for breakfast, Georgina Orwell for lunch, and culinary delights for dinner.
[
30 Jan, 18:00 PM]
What is this; more treason? VFD's Youngest Poet gets pasta puttanesca with a knife - how poetic.
[
30 Jan, 13:05 PM]
[Insert political joke here] - The Nevermore Tree kills The Donnie
[
30 Jan, 10:24 AM]
Beau del'Air kills Link, VFD's Youngest Poet kills Beau del'Air, and everyone learns that [REDACTED] is quite a dangerous place at lecturetime.
[
29 Jan, 22:24 PM]
McManus-Winthrop Overpopulation Solutions Consultancy PLC stabs ??, bad luck: serioslyunforgunateebends got there first!
[
26 Feb, 17:32 PM]
Mattathias didn't order pizza, but The Gentleman brought him some anyway.
[
23 Feb, 20:51 PM]
Ominous Cawing sends The Entire First Chapter of The Bad Beginning onto the path of redemption.
[
23 Feb, 14:44 PM]
The Fleeting Shadow at the Corner of Your Eye as you Walk Home on a Moonless, Windless Night gets Extra-Strength Wasabi - first death of the Police War!
[
17 Feb, 17:11 PM]
The Lady is slightly scary. Just look at what she did to Athos
[
17 Feb, 10:17 AM]
Not A Crazed Gunman guns down Ivan Lachrymose in a show of crazed brutality.
[
11 Feb, 13:33 PM]
The Incredulously Docile Viper slays The Sagacious Slayer with assistance from A Slightly Paler Kit Snicket
[
9 Feb, 21:41 PM]
Kit Snicket is killed by Guzma, but The Man With Glass Eyes, A Wooden Leg, a Strangely Shaped Gash Across his Chest, Three Iron Fingers and a Burn Scar on his Shoulder swiftly avenges her death.
[
8 Feb, 19:53 PM]
The Man with Glass Eyes, a Wooden Leg, and a Strangely Shaped Gash Across his Chest hunts down The Incredibly Deadly Sniper
[
8 Feb, 17:33 PM]
Not A Crazed Gunman does not shoot Dewey Denouement - nope, she stabs them.
[
8 Feb, 16:42 PM]
The Incredibly Deadly Sniper proves to be incredibly deadly when sniping The Nevermore Tree
[
6 Feb, 18:42 PM]
The Spyglass moodily destroys Atykhron, Destroyer of Moodle Sessions
[
6 Feb, 18:00 PM]
Battle of the animals! HoneyBadger69 comes out victorious over The Penguin of Death.
[
5 Feb, 19:39 PM]
The Incredibly Deadly Viper eats The Real Estate Agent at dinner.
[
4 Feb, 16:40 PM]
Vice Principal Nero and The Incredibly Deadly Viper get A Man with a Tattoo of an Eye on his Ankle with their trousers down.
[
4 Feb, 10:18 AM]
The Gentleman kills Bookworm while Facilitator Fishmail looks on.
[
3 Feb, 19:50 PM]
Volunteer Feline Detective tries to investigate The Sagacious Slayer, but it all goes horribly wrong.
[
2 Feb, 20:57 PM]
The Spyglass kills Leon Thotsky as This is What Happens when you Repeatedly Hit a Cucco with a Sword watches on.
[
1 Feb, 16:03 PM]
McManus-Winthrop Overpopulation Solutions Consultancy PLC decides to close shop.
[
2 Feb, 07:47 AM]
The Gentleman, with a knife, chats to I said I wouldn't do this last term and then I did and then I made the same commitment again and am breaking it again.
[
31 Jan, 19:31 PM]
I said I wouldn't do this last term and then I did and then I made the same commitment again and am breaking it again., but at least I just killed Wasabi, so I've got that going for me I guess?
[
29 Jan, 19:25 PM]
All's fair in love and war, as 2kg04I5 gets A Culinary Equivalent to Horseradish in a heartbreaking betrayal.
[
25 Feb, 14:31 PM]
Whew! Judge Judy and Executioner gets The Entire First Chapter of The Bad Beginning, Ominous Cawing gets Judge Judy and Executioner, and then Special Orphan Running Exercises gets Ominous Cawing...
[
4 Feb, 14:39 PM]
Count Olaf goes on a rampage and (licitly) murders both incobash teams, including Miss Maheswaran, Fabled Flop and Alexander Homerton.
[
1 Feb, 00:52 AM]
More corruption: Count Olaf fails to kill BEN drowned..., Kit Snicket goes the treasonous route, and Sergeant Hartman proceeds to try to murder Kit Snicket for the lulz.
New on Saturday, 4 March
New on Monday, 27 February
New on Wednesday, 22 February
New on Sunday, 19 February
New on Saturday, 18 February
[
18 Feb, 19:21 PM]
The Man with Glass Eyes, a Wooden Leg, and a Strangely Shaped Gash Across his Chest manages to take down Her Majesty's Super Special Service (Andrew Briggs)
[
18 Feb, 08:59 AM]
Jaqen H'ghar's murderous tendencies know no bounds, as Pokemon Trainer Cambridge Blue (Andrew Browne) falls to her machine gun.
New on Friday, 17 February
[
17 Feb, 12:18 PM]
The Incredibly Deadly Viper goes a hunting, but finds no prey.
New on Thursday, 16 February
[
14 Feb, 13:06 PM]
The Quagmire Sapphires sends Her Majesty's Super Special Service a Valentines poem.
New on Monday, 13 February
New on Friday, 10 February
[
9 Feb, 14:55 PM]
A Concerned Crow seems concerned with the demise of others...
[
9 Feb, 08:49 AM]
Rean Schwarzer, the Azure Awakener goes looking for a Lily, but doesn't find any nice plants around.
New on Thursday, 9 February
New on Monday, 6 February
[
6 Feb, 14:50 PM]
Someone cowers in their room, hiding from The Quagmire Sapphires...
New on Friday, 3 February
[
3 Feb, 20:33 PM]
Her Majesty's Super Special Service searches for Athos in vain.
New on Thursday, 2 February
[
2 Feb, 11:22 AM]
Volunteer Feline Detective goes a-skulking for UVH, but no luck...
New on Wednesday, 1 February
[
1 Feb, 21:36 PM]
Kit Snicket murders The Incredulously Docile Viper again.
[
31 Jan, 19:50 PM]
BEN drowned... declares allegiance to the fire-starting side of VFD; proceeds to murder The Gentleman, The Man With Glass Eyes and a Wooden Leg, Facilitator Ishmael and Sergeant Hartman.
New on Tuesday, 31 January
[
31 Jan, 20:47 PM]
Al Funcoot shoots Horizontal Flame, but in a church? Oh dear, someone's going Wanted.
[
31 Jan, 13:30 PM]
The Shadow stabs Dewey Denouement, but the world is quiet in this library...
New on Sunday, 29 January
[
29 Jan, 07:24 AM]
The Man with Glass Eyes goes hunting The Incredibly Docile Viper, but is murdered by snakebite and the avenging wrath of Kit Snicket.
New on Saturday, 28 January
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