The Assassins' Guild: Mayweek 2015 Game Awards
For various achievements and entertainments, the following awards are presented:
- The Holzhauer Award for Psychopathy:
- Michael French, for a whopping twenty-three kills.
- The Kenny Award for dying far too many times:
- Michael French again, for an equally impressive 11 deaths.
Honourable mention to Xiang Hao, for dying seven times, all to to Twm Stone.
- The Spawncamper Award for kill farming:
- Twm Stone, for his aforementioned seven kills of Xiang Hao.
Honourable mention to Michael French, for killing Andrew Raison and Jonny Philips six times each.
- The Yellow Streak Award for running away:
- Andrew Raison, for hiding from Batman in the Catz toilets.
- The Darwin Award for death by stupidity:
- Douglas Hall for, after spending a very paranoid evening and morning of moving, letting Chris Martin into his new room.
Honourable mention to Jonny Philips, for watching Michael French walk up to him while several people yelled "Stab him! Stab him!"and not reacting, and subsequently getting rather stabbed.
- The
Harland
Quinn
Golden
Quill
for the most amusing reports:
- Chris Martin, for his excellent Enderman reports.
- The Banker's Bonus Award for profit:
- Michael French, for claiming three bounties on three consecutive kills on the last day of the game.
- The Pistols At Dawn Award for an addiction to duelling:
- Twm Stone, for engaging in two Jolt duels after the Battle event, and at least one elsewhere.
- The Reversed Burden of Johannes Award for unintentionally killing innocents:
- Andrew Raison, for managing three innocents on one day and thus earning this game's only point reduction.
- The Richard Gibson Award for Marksmanship:
- Xiang Hao, for his unerring dedication to taking out Twm Stone's arms.
- The Not Dead Yet Award for failure to admit defeat
- Emily Jones for, when trapped in a dead end, holding an empty Jolt and staring down the barrel of a loaded gun, throwing her gun at her foe. (Never do this.)
- The "nice try" Award for a valiant effort
- Twm Stone, for a very close second place and an extremely impressive kill-death ration of 20 to 3.
- The Love Bug Award for unresolved sexual tension
- Michael French and Andrew Raison, for a pair of hot and steamy gunfights clad only in towels.
- The Catherine Zentile Award for Least Innocent Innocent:
- James Brotherston (not an actual player) for leading many assassins on merry little dances around St. Chad's.
- The Obfuscated Tutorial System Award for silliest pseudonym:
- Twm Stone, for attempting to break the autoumpire with the pseudonym '); DROP TABLE Assassins;--.
Honourable mention to David Calin, for the pseudonym Black Mesa. (That was a joke. Ha ha. Fat chance.)
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