The Assassins' Guild

[00:00 AM] Green and Black's for the killer of Jacques Elliott

Thursday, 29 January

[00:00 AM] The game begins!

[10:55 AM] First blood! The Riddler kills DragoN (Leslie Stowe) outside her lecture

[11:45 AM] The Riddler strikes again, bagging Charlie Hebdo (Quintin Langley-Coleman)

[19:40 PM] madness, Flowerpot (James Roberts) ends The Riddler (Joshua de Gromoboy)'s reign of terror, but at the ultimate cost

Friday, 30 January

[08:00 AM] Spike Spiegel gets John Von Neurfmann (Alyosha Latyntsev)

[10:00 AM] Shredder gets his first taste of blood, in this case Cosa Nostra (Sam Twist)'s blood

[13:15 PM] Journals of Food makes a meal out of Solaire of Astora (Ben Smith)

[16:00 PM] Team Rocket Grunt 7 does his master's dirty work, killing man (Basil Woods)

[18:30 PM] Bantersaurus Rex (Samuel Mackey) is slashed at dinner by The Bantmanian Devil

[20:00 PM] Victor, are you still alive? gets a deadly threat on his door

Saturday, 31 January

[10:00 AM] Aqua Grunt 2 makes sure Samuel Mackey is dead

[10:10 AM] Shredder shreds Aqua Grunt 4 (Matt Arnold)

[10:18 AM] 000 nerfs The Bantmanian Devil (Tom Harvey) in his room

[17:20 PM] Duchess shoots Timmy (Daniel Wong)

[18:00 PM] Alfred Bester has a message

[18:45 PM] Chikorita (Jazlene Ong) gets served by Aqua Grunt 1

[22:28 PM] 000's nerf finds another target, Osiris (Alexis de Vivenot)

Sunday, 1 February

[13:00 PM] The Unforgiven chases prey like a hunting dog, eventually overpowering team plasma grunt 3 (Georgina Turner)

[17:00 PM] Archbishop of Banterbury slices Shaggy Rogers (Matt Almond)

[17:50 PM] A bloody fight ends with 000 (Robert Calvert) and Team Rocket Grunt 1 (Richard Birkett) dead, with only Team Rocket Grunt 3 and Team Rocket Grunt 7 left to tell the tale

[18:30 PM] Thelonius Nail shoots first and asks later, killing Meowth (Nour Kharma)

Monday, 2 February

[12:00 PM] Duchess makes Victor, are you still alive? (Tom Flynn) answer with a no

[13:00 PM] Marcus V. Agrippa! has some ...er....things to say

[14:00 PM] Shredder (David Calin) shreds no more, Aqua Grunt 3 killing him

[18:50 PM] Week 5 stabs Penfold (Hugo Strauss)

Tuesday, 3 February

[09:55 AM] Archbishop of Banterbury uses his +2 holy sword of giggles on Little Mai (Charlie Daffern)

[12:00 PM] N surprises Ricky The Pumpkin (Ruggero Chicco)

[20:30 PM] Onex (Anindya Sharma) life ends with 2 nerfs to the chest from ArmouredTitan

[23:59 PM] Week 1 summary

Wednesday, 4 February

[08:50 AM] Thelonius Nail reks Slyther (Nikolaos Kateris)

[08:55 AM] Aqua Grunt 7 backstabs ArmouredTitan (Timothy Ekeh)

[11:15 AM] Bantom of the Opera claims Pegasus (Alex Waghorn)

[11:45 AM] Aqua Grunt 8 stalks his prey

[14:00 PM] The Whistler goes a-creeping

[15:00 PM] Police close in on Thelonius Nail

[18:30 PM] Thelonius Nail (Richard Jones)'s wanted status proves fatal, at the hands of Mojo Jojo and Blossom

[22:03 PM] Police 002 gets wanted Aqua Grunt 3 (James Delaney), only to then be shot by Aqua Grunt 1

Thursday, 5 February

[12:00 PM] Aqua Grunt 8 tricks The Spanish Inquisition (Josh McQuail)

[16:00 PM] Light Yagami kills Moonhead(Sofia Riccio) and maims Archbishop of Banterbury

[22:05 PM] Team Rocket Grunt 3 uses a Cyndaquil to end the life of N (Freddie Brewer)

Friday, 6 February

[08:55 AM] Team Rocket Grunt 17 knifes Journals of Food (Ben Weber)

[10:00 AM] Marcus V. Agrippa! hunts

[13:00 PM] Team Rocket Grunt 10 kills Mustrum Ridcully (Alex Fairclough)

[18:30 PM] The Unforgiven is sent back to hell by Marcus V. Agrippa!

[19:00 PM] Team Rocket Grunt 6 tries and fails

Saturday, 7 February

[12:00 PM] Angelica stabs Inigo Montoya (Robert Shearme)

[12:30 PM] The Dark Knight (Ogaba Ifere) gets caught leaving the shower by Marcus V. Agrippa!

[13:00 PM] Sylvester kills incos Optimus Can't-Rhyme (Gourav Khullar) and Tim, Lord of Something or Other (Nathan Smith)

[13:15 PM] Concordia shoots inco Team Rocket Grunt 14 (Joseph Swartzentruber)

[13:20 PM] Bantom of the Opera's sword claims Mr Acceptable (Henry Dickie)

[13:30 PM] Gernald Gernaldson talks with Randall (Angus Hammond) and then kills him

[19:00 PM] The Silver Slug goes clubbing with Captain Crispy (Ben Sillence)

[20:00 PM] The Whistler reports on the inco bash

[20:00 PM] Wile E. Coyote kills incos The cheese grater (Conrad Allison)

[22:45 PM] Inverted Hedgehog's giant panda kills Malcolm Reynolds (Alistair O'Neill) and a bystander

Sunday, 8 February

[10:00 AM] ROMANES EUNT DOMUS?

[13:00 PM] Shego battles with Wile E. Coyote

[19:00 PM] Derek Duanmu (Diandian Wang) dinner is disturbed by death at the hands of Light Yagami

Monday, 9 February

[13:05 PM] The Whistler backstabs Aqua Grunt 2 (Gwilym Kuiper) shortly after he killed Inverted Hedgehog (Joe Tomkinson)

[17:50 PM] Yosemite Sam (Andrew Raison) shot at his doorstep by Dick Dastardly

[18:00 PM] Penelope Pitstop kills Dick Dastardly (James Brotherston) and Pistachio (Yu She)

[19:01 PM] police Anubis kills The Silver Slug )Tom King)

[22:00 PM] Marcus V. Agrippa! and The Whistler go inco hunting, bagging Jerry (Thomas Chalklen) and appledog (Chenshan Hu)

[22:03 PM] Spike Spiegel shoots and stabs Kaczynski (Kaixiang)

Tuesday, 10 February

[13:00 PM] Duchess serves justice to Dousedinpiss (Michael Warman)

Wednesday, 11 February

[13:40 PM] Charitable kills Silent Sniper (Sarah Assaf)

[17:20 PM] Mass shooting leaves Aqua Grunt 7 (Joseph Gregory), Aqua Grunt 8 (Fergus Powell) and Europa (Ellen Berry) dead

[18:20 PM] Incompetent betrays [Redacted] (Chris Djali)

[19:48 PM] Alfred Bester goes inco hunting

Thursday, 12 February

[10:00 AM] Praying Bantis prays upon Jackie Chan (Matt Kaye)

[15:00 PM] Aqua Leader Archie shows real leadership to Aqua Grunt 11 (Kai Hugtenburg)

[19:30 PM] Concordia and Dick Dastardly do police work, getting Shego (Em Miles)

Friday, 13 February

[16:00 PM] Team Rocket Grunt 7 attempts

[18:12 PM] The Whistler does an autopsy on Joesph Gregory

[22:00 PM] Marcus V. Agrippa! redeems himself by killing Bantman (Will Bently)

Sunday, 15 February

[18:00 PM] Muttley (Ben Morley) and Dick Dastardly (James Brotherston) annihilate each other

Monday, 16 February

[21:00 PM] The Whistler corners 2 inco police, Mojo Jojo (Robert Allen) and Bunny (deceased) (Piercarlo Maini)

Tuesday, 17 February

[22:00 PM] Archbishop of Banterbury finds an intruder

Wednesday, 18 February

[10:40 AM] Team Rocket Grunt 3's Cyndaquil claims Victor Volt (Isobel Sands)

[11:00 AM] Week 5 stabs Team Rocket Grunt 10 (Heather Britton)

[11:30 AM] Golden Magikarp fends off an attack with help of The Spanish Inquisition

[11:30 AM] Praying Bantis narrowly escapes death

[17:00 PM] Marcus V. Agrippa! holds firm

[17:00 PM] Golden Magikarp uses splash. It's super effective! Team Rocket blacked out.

[20:00 PM] Team Rocket Grunt 666 sieges Taz Dingus

[21:00 PM] Taz Dingus fights off 3 assassins in his room

Thursday, 19 February

[10:00 AM] Duchess shoots Light Yagami (Mikaela Belcher) just before she can stab him

[13:20 PM] Concordia kills Ghetsis (Josh Phillips)

[17:00 PM] Foghorn Leghorn gets revenge on Jonarne136 - codename (Dan Hepworth)

Friday, 20 February

[08:45 AM] Bantom of the Opera's Velociraptor ends Gastly (Nour Kharma)

[14:20 PM] Yog-Sothoth, Lord of the Outer Darkness has a message

[17:50 PM] Bantidisestablishmentarianism gets a bantastic kill on Bantersaurus Rex (Samuel Mackey)

[18:00 PM] Cardinal Bishop Basilios Bessarion kills Spike Spiegel (Jordan Holgate)

Saturday, 21 February

[08:55 AM] Team Rocket Admin Proton kills 003 (Robert Calvert)

[11:15 AM] Zilly punishes inco police Captain James Tiberius Kirk

[21:00 PM] Osiris and Anubis kills incos Angelica (Anna Tindall), Scoop (Daniel Richman) and Charitable (Matthew Coates)

Sunday, 22 February

[14:00 PM] Bantom of the Opera makes an error

[15:00 PM] Little Mai backstabs Taz Dingus (Danny Hunt)

[16:10 PM] Bantom of the Opera redeems himself by killing Ennui (Sahil Youngs)

Monday, 23 February

[09:25 AM] Alfred Bester (Douglas Hall) slain by Bantastic Mr Fox

[18:30 PM] Aqua Grunt 1 kills police Osiris (Alexis de Vivenot) in self-defense

Tuesday, 24 February

[18:00 PM] NuosisMess (Lisa Lentati) gets on Banter Claus's naught list

[19:42 PM] L gets inco Gernald Gernaldson (James Hoyle)

Wednesday, 25 February

[18:00 PM] Gripp hunts

[19:58 PM] OPEN SEASON

Friday, 27 February

[10:30 AM] Aqua Grunt 1 AKA Aqua Leader Archie (Jacques Elliott) killed by K

[19:35 PM] Archbishop of Banterbury gets another kill, this time on Week 5 (Peter Jordan)

Saturday, 28 February

[15:00 PM] Team Rocket Grunt 666 gets close to his target

Sunday, 1 March

[13:00 PM] The Whistler shoots a poor innocent bystander

Wednesday, 4 March

[18:25 PM] Yog-Sothoth, Lord of the Outer Darkness gets an opportune kill on Golden Magikarp AKA Red Gyarados (Krin Muskens)

Thursday, 5 March

[18:00 PM] Archbishop of Banterbury AKA Bantom of the Opera AKA Praying Bantis AKA Bantidisestablishmentarianism AKA Bantastic Mr Fox AKA Bantercalifragilisticexpialidocious (Alexander Hardwick) reign finally ends after he is ambushed by Marcus V. Agrippa! and Yog-Sothoth, Lord of the Outer Darkness

The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

Tuesday, 27 January