Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 5 News

Tuesday, 18 November

[11:15 AM] We're a redshirt down as Joshua de Gromoboy (Generic SHIELD Agent #2) falls to Patience, a traitor in the police ranks. Out of the darkness, into the light! Hail HYDRA!
Generic SHIELD Agent #2 reports:

I was just minding my own business in the S.H.I.E.L.D. break room, flicking through some confidential reports when one of our own brutally cut me down. The traitor will not live through the week.

[Good evening Agent Coulson. Welcome back.]

[17:21 PM] Bad Luck descends upon Doc Holliday, but Doc Holliday is out. Bad luck Bad Luck...
Bad Luck reports:

The three attempts I made (16:10, 17:20, 19:10) on Doc Holliday all failed thanks to him being out and his door being locked, lights off, door locked, not in his kitchen or anything. Most confusing and annoying.

[17:30 PM] Impasse as DaVinci demonstes a lack of genius when targeting DarkMavis
DaVinci reports:

Went to try to kill Joseph Gregory.
Disregarded all helpful advice and basic reason by strolling up and knocking on his door.
Acted like a casual friend and hoped he would think his memory had lapsed.
Heard him walk over to the peep-hole followed by silence as he presumably judged my amazing plan.
Pretended I thought he wasn't there and left by the stairwell, in reality moving one floor up to hear him come out.
After nearly killing several civilians and discussing with my accomplice what I should do, I heard him leave his room and go into the main area of his corridor. Moving round to the bottom of the other stairwell I think I saw him with around four people.
My accomplice was telling me repeatedly to Rambo it. I did not Rambo it. Failure #07.

DarkMavis reports:

This evening I was payed a visit by three assassins, who were very nice. I had a chat with them from behind the safety of my door, which they eventually realised I wasn't going to open. I may have misidentified them though, having a guess that they were from [IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADVERTISE IN THIS SPACE PLEASE CONTACT THE UMPIRE]. Who knows? But I do hope we meet again on slightly less tense ground.

[20:09 PM] DrKrieger guns down Elizabeth Anne Hawkins (71hours)
DrKrieger reports:

Today at 20:09, I shot Elizabeth Hawkins outside her room at [REDACTED][REDACTED][STILL REDACTED].

Wednesday, 19 November

[07:50 AM] King Mickey goes out to meet the peasants, meeting the militiamen Cheddar Nimitz, Hands of Blue and Loki, and a would-be-regicide of questionable proficiency DrKrieger. King Mickey also guns down Joseph Gregory (DarkMavis) and lays siege to the fortress of Blue Hands and Hodor
King Mickey reports:

The saga of this bright morning is perhaps best told simply, so without great embellishment, I shall relate the events in order.

I arrive inside [REDACTED] and locate the corridor down which live my targets.
I set up my camp. For clarification, the main part of the camp is a large Nerf Gatling Gun aimed cheerfully down the corridor.


My normal alarm goes off, frantically silenced. So do many others - it quickly becomes apparent that the four doors between which I wait are all badly unsoundproofed.

One alarm is still going off. Is my target out, or simply tired? I prep a second gun in case of attack from behind.

A girl approaches from behind. Opening with "...What the HELL are you doing.", a subsequent surprisingly angry outburst at my presence ensues, including angry protestations that I'm blocking the corridor, which she then proceeds not to want to use, whether I was blocking or not. Angry girl retreats away again, fuming.

[8.09 1/2]
It occurs to me that this might have been a ploy by one of the targets to send a friend to identify potential threats. After all, if I can hear their movements, they can hear mine, and the floor beneath me was constantly creaking. Paranoia? Hmm.

I can hear when my target's phone pings from through the door. This happens increasingly frequently. Information is definitely flowing. Damn.

I observe two guys emerge from the other end of this floor, taking up cheerful seated residence across the glass stairwell. I don't know if they know I've seen them, but they have certainly seen me.

One of them is texting someone. I am certainly made.

Considering how best to extricate myself from this situation. I had intended a do or die raid upon the targets, and escape was not my main concern - evidenced by taking a gun so big that the only bag of mine large enough to house it is a suitcase. If I lay the gun diagonally.

Dead either way. May as well spring the trap and see how many I can take with me.

A bedder walks past the entrance to the corridor, gives me a strange look and walks on. Guys across the corridor have not moved. Not much movement from my targets or their neighbours. My heartbeat is loud.

Different bedder approaches, sees me, "Ah, I'll do them later". Slightly sheepish to be obstructing college business but she seemed to be perfectly alright with this, so I went back to my vigil.

Rapid footsteps approach from behind, the dividing door behind me bursts open, and I am shot in the arm. I am so surprised by this (was sure that no assassins would be on hand to assist) that it takes me mid-questioning who he was (DrKrieger it turns out) to realise only my right arm was shot. It appears the limbs not killing rule was unknown to my assailant. We talked for a short time, and agreed to team up.

Since now for sure everyone in this end of the corridor knows I'm here if they didn't already, we retreated past the dividing door, approaching the central stairwell as a less risky position to attack from. At this point I was introduced to the two guys from across the stairs, who it transpires were both police, Cheddar Nimitz and Hands of Blue. They had come looking for the incompetent of my two targets, seen me, and summoned a live player.

We agreed to besiege the targets.

Some movement from the doors - intent to go to their lectures, perhaps? But not intent enough to brave the corridor. One retreated, the other watched us for a while, attempting to ascertain our numbers.

The extended siege continues. Two of the others had gone for a while to hunt down Neil Ibata, fearing an attack from behind, only to learn that he already died. They shot him for good measure. Hands of Blue departs to be productive. [No, that would mean doing work, not Assassins'. That would be the opposite of productive! DH.]

DrKrieger and Cheddar Nimitz depart to seek DarkMavis, apparently after failing the previous night. I remain (turret and all) to defend the hall. A porter walks up the stairs past me, giving me upset glances.
UMPIRE: That should have been your cue to bail...

The porter returns, questioning whether or not I can use that in college. I explain that it isn't a water gun. He says he will enquire and find out.
UMPIRE: No! Don't talk back to the porters. Especially the porters from [REDACTED]!

Loki arrives to see how things are doing, since she was around, as does the porter again. Having phoned his boss about the gun I have now been lightly portered and banned from using it, though Loki's presence as a legitimate college student there made him much less angry than if I'd been alone. Technically I suspect the ban extended to all foam dart weaponry, but I reckoned small guns were still OK. In moderation. Not around porters. Decided to depart when the others returned.
UMPIRE: Seriously - arguing with porters from the bigger colleges is the sort of thing that gets us banned from colleges / risks getting us shut down. Don't be noticed, and if you do, leave. This is about the game, and far more important than a kill or even your own survival - if you have to bail for porter reasons, the Umpire will generally overrule any in-game consequences.

Catch the eye of one of the targets to call timeout and explain that Nerf weapons are now reasonably frowned upon, for me at least. We chat civilly for a while.

Cease the ceasefire and return to my encampment. Loki departs.

Contemplate a dash to see if their doors are unlocked. Decide against it. Confused at the lack of reappearance of the others - perhaps DarkMavis is proving to need a long chase?

One target decides to risk leaving, having not seen or heard me for a while. I let him get close before exchanging shots but neither my darts or his rubber bands manage to connect, and he retreats to his room again, sustaining minor injuries by falling into walls in the process.

No sign of others. An accomplice is now bringing the besieged assassins food. There goes starving them out. [Well I don't think it's technically against the rules...]

The elevator goes ding, and a lone guy emerges, looking shifty with his hand firmly in one pocket.

[11.41 and a bit] I dash behind the glass as he draws a gun. Peering closely, I recognise him as DarkMavis, the guy who the others were going to....I've been sold out!

[11.41, ongoing]
Shots fired. Nervous glances from me towards corridor in case the two targets realise what's happening and take advantage.

Eventually killed Joseph Gregory (DarkMavis), to his disappointment. We chat briefly, he departs.

The police member of the two departed siegemen reappears, though after some irritated questioning, it quickly transpires he hadn't sold me out after all and was very surprised to learn Joseph had known to find me here. We decide to end the siege.

Pass the other player in the street, he didn't sell me out either. Very curious. Well four hours of besieging later, I have had plenty of assassining for one morning, and shall have to live with perhaps never quite understanding.
Make it home without attack despite carrying really unsubtle giant gun the whole way.

~King Mickey

DarkMavis reports:

I went into the building with the intention of being quite sneaky, however that didn't really happen. We drew our guns to shoot one another, but missed. This resulted in a stand off, which was resolved when we stepped out to have another go, with my bullet flying past King Mickey and his bullet putting a hole in my chest.

Cheddar Nimitz reports:

This morning I, Hands of Blue and DrKrieger besieged [NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION] for five hours this morning to catch Blue Hands. We met some guy with a machine gun [That's no way to refer to His Majesty, King Mickey. DH.], who joined the siege. While waiting we tried to get DarkMavis from [FETCH THE COMFY CHAIR CARDINAL!]. I saw him and chased him into the gardens, but I lost my bullets and therefore let him go.
When I got back, I learned Gregory had been killed by machine-gun-guy, who left afterwards. We ended the siege and started working on a new plan to terminate incos.

[13:16 PM] Generic SHIELD Agent #1 does an autopsy on Joseph Gregory
Generic SHIELD Agent #1 reports:

Checking the incompetence list after this week's deadline, I noticed that there was one person in [CLASSIFIED - LEVEL 6 CLEARANCE REQUIRED] college who was still alive. Hurrying over in the dark, the porters kindly pointed me where to go, and I hung around until another member of the college let me in with the old "I'm visiting a friend..." story. I made my way up the staircases, and knocked once. A voice replies "come in" and a swift knife to the chest ends it, as he begins to form the words "I'm dead"... I stayed and chatted for a few minutes, discussing what we'd learnt from our first game, and enjoying the irony that it was him who accompliced in the demise of my previous incarnation. I departed by a different door, and smiled at the porters on the way out.

[18:02 PM] Unlikely allies Patience and Agent Coulson assemble to take on Blue Hands
Patience reports:

As of late I twiddle my gun in hand. Having decided to call a truce on attacking my fellow men and women in the Force.
Calling an agreement with Agent Coulson we went off hunting for the slackers around us.
First was Neil Ibata who lived near an old acquaintance. Our first knock brought no success. We tried again, this time using my friend to lure him out. We couldn't see round as this would give us away but we jumped in only too late. He shut us out.

Our second target Blue Hands was the same story. I hid in the corridor while Coulson knocked. He opened the door suspecting the worse. Paranoia was setting in. I jumped out to spray him with my standard acid spray along with the generic Force pistol but he hid once more and again no success.

Next time.


Thursday, 20 November

[10:30 AM] DaVinci keeps up his tradition of nearly shooting police, narrowly avoiding killing Generic SHIELD Agent #1
Generic SHIELD Agent #1 reports:

Report on Extraordinary Perception by DaVinci.
Whilst in an OOB area this morning, I was casually flicking through the incompetence list on my phone, when a voice from behind asked "is the the assassins thing?". Being the gullible fool I am, I believed the excuse that they had "thought about signing up to that", and we were almost out of the OOB area before I pointed out I was in fact, already dead and now a police player, much to the disappointment of DaVinci, who had been angling for a quick kill now that Open Season is in force.
Generic Shield Agent #1.

[14:45 PM] Blue Sun is a man down as Cristian-David Calin (Blue Hands) falls to DrKrieger
DrKrieger reports:

I, DrKrieger, waited outside Blue Hands's apartment for 2 hours today. When he cam back from doing his laundry I chased him around his floor for a few minutes. He then managed to convince me that he had summoned another assassin so I went to the lobby of the building to ambush that assassin. He then came down to the lobby, I gave chase, and ultimately caught up to him and shot him in the back. He was shot at approximately 14:45.

[17:28 PM] Cheddar Nimitz pays someone a call
Cheddar Nimitz reports:

Today I visited [REDACTED], looking for [ALSO REDACTED]. I couldn't get in his staircase due to ongoing maintenance, but waited for him at the entrance. He didn't show up, but he won't be alive much longer [He seems to have done OK so far... DH.].

[18:00 PM] Seriously DaVinci. Seriously.
DaVinci reports:

Realized the only way to get into the building he lives in is to be buzzed in by him or other people in the building.
Resolved to research the target more and kill him outside his house or convince people in his house to betray him.

[18:15 PM] Agent Coulson and Patience's desperate alliance holds for another episode, but their enemies refuse to show themselves
Agent Coulson reports:

These are dark times that we live in. The age of heroes is ending, and the age of villains is dawning [Now the nightmare's real... DH.]. We are under attack from all sides, as the good do nothing and evil prevails.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Corruption ceases to be a crime [although not technically... DH.]; instead it becomes a very particular skillset. Those we would once have called enemies become our most dangerous weapons.

That is not to say that Patience has been forgiven; it is to say that revenge is a luxury that we cannot afford when every moment is spent just trying to stay alive.

The rest of the details are in Patience's report [Cut to shot of an angry looking Director Fury looking at an empty inbox]. Everything's been fact checked.


[21:00 PM] Dead Bowie issues a challenge to Tomasz (Tomek) Jan Nawrocki
Dead Bowie reports:

This is ground control to Major Tomek. You've really made the grade. And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear [hopefully not for the same reason as this guy]. Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare...!

Friday, 21 November

[08:30 AM] The King is dead! Michael French (King Mickey) falls to the nefarious scheming of DrKrieger!
King Mickey reports:

The last of strength fades as I pen this final report. It seems I may have been wrong to place such value on the impenetrability of my fortress. Lured into false security by the lack of attempts upon my base, I no longer checked my corners when I depart, and this should prove to be my undoing. I had planned an expedition in the early hours to kill Hodor, but much to my surprise when I left my castle I found (almost ran into) DrKrieger on the stairs. He too was surprised to see me at this hour - but he had a loaded gun in hand, while mine was uncocked in a pocket. The kill was clean. I have crawled back to my study to record my demise, but my life fades quite irreversibly now. I am not afraid though. My armies shall prevail against the menaces that threaten this kingdom. The King is dead, long live the King!

[Reports of DrKrieger's ineptitude in the field of regicide may have been greatly exagerated...]

[12:00 PM] Robert Allen (DaVinci)'s run of almost shooting police players comes to a end as he ends and is ended by Thomas (Twm) Stone (Generic SHIELD Agent #1)
DaVinci reports:

On exiting the lecture theater I saw Generic SHIELD Agent #1 approaching me and immediately realized that the end was near.
I drew my nerf gun and fired as he threw his knife through the air. Unfortunately being extremely incompetent I couldn't really tell what happened next but we decided we had probably killed each other.
RIP in pepperonis.

Generic SHIELD Agent #1 reports:

Since I had observed yesterday that DaVinci was in possession of a bicycle helmet, and seemed to be attending a lecture in keeping with his reports, I deduced that he was probably Robert Allen from [CLASSIFIED - LEVEL 5 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]. As he left the lecture theatre I took a different exit, and then ran round to see him coming out. Knowing that I was with the police, and seeing me appear close to him, he began to run towards me with his hands reaching for something - my knife flew true and struck the man through the heart, just as his finger clenched on the trigger and released a punch into my side. As I lay there, bleeding out, my consolation was that I had finally brought someone to justice...
[You will be mourned agent. Whatever your name was. Maybe IMDb will know? DH.]

[16:10 PM] Bad Luck haunts Doc Holliday
Bad Luck reports:

Morning attempt: 11:10 Provoked response but noting more as couldn't think of anything appropriate to say to 'Who is it?' without being shot to pieces. Left intact but somewhat disheartened. No neighbours were sufficiently persuaded to help lure the inco out from behind the locked door.

Afternoon attempt: 16:10 Much more...exciting. Engaged in conversation, I was some mysterious entity that wished a questionnaire filled in while cunningly hiding a loaded weapon. Turned away but cover seemingly unblown. Discovered about 2 minutes later when I stopped watching my back that cover was quite thoroughly NOT unblown as I live up to my pseudonym once more. As a gun wielding, psychotic Doc Holliday closed me down I executed an impressive tactical retreat, my weapon being stowed well enough that drawing it while under heavy fire from a closing adversary was a fatal idea. However, once his ammunition was depleted and I'd accidently lost my weapon attempting to draw on the run we discussed the event congenially, concluding that no certain shot hit me. I have been given the benefit of the doubt but bad luck was against me rather than my omen to my opposition.

[16:41 PM] Another cryptic missive Via Telegram - the network seems to be being run by BT Broadband...
Via Telegram reports:

hello question stop
hellllllloooooooo question stop
does that switch actually do anything question stop
oh this is useless stop
i can't tell whether it's still on stop

-Via Telegram

[19:00 PM] Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin, Gryff and The Slightly Rabid Gerbil are seen lurking in the dark. I can only presume they are holding a vigil for their fallen King...

Saturday, 22 November

[14:09 PM] Reports of a hangover may explain the erratic nature of the message we received yesterday Via Telegram
Via Telegram reports:


-Via telegram

[21:30 PM] Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin, Gryff and The Slightly Rabid Gerbil return from their King's wake, but the death of their monarch has not dented their resolve. Long live King Robin!

Sunday, 23 November

[12:00 PM] Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin leads The Slightly Rabid Gerbil in an attack, but their target flees Via Telegram before Robin can point out that this is his job...
Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin reports:

I and The Slightly Rabid Gerbil met a civilian informant in [REDACTED]'s porters lodge at 11:45 this morning with the information he was going for food at 12; lingered around till about 12 and then proceeded to his staircase were more lurking occurred till around 12:15 when our informant identified him walking into his staircase (a bit too late though). We followed him in and our informant attempted engaging him in conversation, however this was too suspicious for the apparently ridiculously paranoid Via Telegram who immediately bolted dropping his shopping bag as he went. And locked himself in either his own room or a friend's, not sure where he ended up. We left after a hopeful knock on his door proved ineffective in luring him out, along with the shouts of his neighbours warning of our intent.

Via Telegram reports:


[22:00 PM] Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin rides to the rescue of Gryff who is besieged by DrKrieger supported by Cheddar Nimitz and Hands of Blue
Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Sir Robin reports:

Was called to Gryff's flat in [COLDITZ CASTLE] where I found DrKrieger, Hands of Blue and Cheddar Nimitz besieging the flat. I fired 3 shots at the targets from round the corner (none hitting) before discovering they were in a Time Out (to collect bullets) and joined in their Time Out. At this point we had a brief discussion where we shared useful info about other targets. A gentleman's agreement was made and I escorted them out of [COLDITZ CASTLE] to live another day.

Cheddar Nimitz reports:

Tonight Cheddar Nimitz, Hands of Blue and DrKrieger attacked the late King's castle. There was a big firefight in which the machine gun took part. DrKrieger called for a ceasefire to collect ammo, and we peacefully left. No one was injured. [Boo. Hiss. Boring! DH.]

Monday, 24 November

[13:00 PM] Salman Iftikhar (DrKrieger) supported by Cheddar Nimitz tries to take down Bullet tooth tony, but the gunslinger turns the tables on the villainous doctor
Bullet tooth tony reports:

Dear Dr Horrible,

During my [incomprehensible blood smear] lecture this morning DrKrieger and his henchman showed up. When [exit strategy alpha] went wrong, I ended up trapped in the toilets (one could say I was up [language!] creek). However I was saved by the fact that they didn't have time for a long drawn out battle, so we exchanged pleasantries and were on our ways.

Later for my [redacted] o'clock lecture, I was aware that we had the same theatre so I cautiously approached the rear exit, and DrKrieger's henchman appeared. DrKrieger and I exchanged bullets near the door, both missing our marks. Then I used [exit strategy beta] and legged it. After rounding a couple of corners, I turned and gave the good doctor a taste of his own medicine. Clearly his PhD is not in horribleness...

Bullet tooth tony

Cheddar Nimitz reports:

This morning DrKrieger and Cheddar Nimitz went after Bullet tooth tony. We found him in his morning lecture, but he saw us as well. As soon as the lecturer declared the course over, I followed Bullet tooth tony outside. He started climbing stairs to the top floor and then firing bullets at me, even though I hadn't taken out my gun. I ran downstairs. He couldn't do anything but hide in the toilets.
It was clear we weren't going anywhere, and therefore let him go.
We anyway came back for his second lecture two hours later; as soon as he saw DrKrieger he started running.
DrKrieger chased him, while I enjoyed a comfortable seat, being a renowned old cheese-loving five-star admiral [If you ever fancy explaining that one, please do be our guest... DH.].
Apparently DrKrieger got killed.

DrKrieger reports:

Today, while chasing Bullet tooth tony, I rounded a corner blind, thinking he was out of ammo. He was not, and he shot me. He has avenged his [THERE ARE NO MAFIAS IN CAMBRIDGE] brothers.

[13:05 PM] Stan Lee isn't satisfied with his Avengers cameo and goes on a rampage!
Stan Lee reports:

All right everyone, it's time for Stan Lee's memorable cameo appearance to make the nerds scream! I'm known for memorable superheroes, so what better way to appear than by creating the memorable super-villain: Matrix Man, who kills by projecting people into a 2D plane! No one is safe from the Matrix Man, he strikes at random, without cause, just effect.

Matrix Man, entering the eatery to map some food into his rumbling tum, sighted upon the perfect victim at 13:05, an innocent man, who would never kill anyone [Assassins' veteran (and winner of last May Week) Curtis Reubens, who's not playing this game]. What better way to announce myself than to destroy the innocence of the innocent? I crept up behind him and BAM! Straight onto the table as a projected image! I won't even have to draw this escapade, I can just glue the remains straight into the comic book!

Yours quite sincerely,

Stan Lee

A.N. Innocent reports:

Dear Mr Umpire,

At approximately 13:05 today, I - a perfectly innocent civilian, was flattened to death in a college dining hall by Stan Lee. I have no idea why. It's not like I orchestrated the death of a previous incarnation of his at the hands of End My Soup some weeks earlier, having spent the week before that making the pair of them increasingly more paranoid. No, sir; that would be wrong.

Yours sincerely,
Curtis James Reubens
(A concerned [and dead] citizen)

[13:30 PM] Hodor gets trigger-happy...
Hodor reports:

Hodor takes loyalty to his friends very seriously. When a non-assassin friend told me that some guy further down the lunch table had been on his corridor to assassinate Neil Ibata, I was pretty keen to eliminate the threat. He had a lovely assassin coat on (you know, one of those puffy black ones) and I thought he was having lunch with friends in [college-redacted] while working up an appetite to assassinate me.

Sadly, paranoia is starting to confuse Hodor: slightly ashamed to admit that around 13:30 I actually ended up stabbing an innocent(ish) civilian-accomplice.

At around 14:45 I was baking cookies for a friend's birthday when a guy with a lovely, black, puffy assassin coat ran within 1 metre of me then raced up the stairs. He failed to notice me stood in front of him. Immediately after this, my phone started buzzing frantically with texts from concerned friends - he was an assassin: one of Stan Lee/DrKrieger. I raced after him but he escaped in the elevator...this time.

11.00pm-ish - Finally found the frontrunner stronghold (Stan Lee is correct - definitely a minotaur lurking around somewhere) but it looks fairly impenetrable. Will return with inside help/a better plan...

[17:00 PM] Stan Lee's (slightly more targeted) rampage continues, as he guns down inco Tomasz (Tomek) Jan Nawrocki with the following Description
Stan Lee reports:

Horrified at the monster I had accidentally unleashed in Matrix Man (he's still out there, may Thor help us all...), I set out to make my amends by killing assassins who don't kill people, which is somehow redeeming [They're not helping to bring down the Status Quo which makes them part of the problem and their elimination necessary (although I'm starting to get a nagging feeling that there might be easier ways to bring down one faded rock band). DH.]. I rode my bike up to [College redacted], and proceeded to sneak in the back to the residence of [Target redacted], in order to destroy [Gender pronoun redacted]. Alas, they were wise enough to not respond to my fateful knock, or they were simply not in. I rode on to the [Distance adjective redacted] college of [College redacted], to find [Address redacted] and kill [Target redacted]. After getting so lost [That would be all the redactions in your notes. DH.] that I was convinced a minotaur might be lurking nearby, I found my victim's location, but I could not get in, because the door was protected with a [Locking mechanism redacted]. As nobody seemed to be coming or going, I begrudgingly moved on. After a [Temporal adjective redacted] ride to [College Redacted], I went to the address of [P3] and found someone going through the door. No [Locking mechanism redacted] would stop me this time! I hid in a nearby toilet to arm my weapons, and then knocked on their door. Luckily for me, their set-mate opened the door, and let me in. I went into [P3]'s room and shot him once in the arm, then in the torso with a machine pistol. Feeling better already about my crime against the world, I returned home.
~Stan Lee

Tuesday, 25 November

[00:11 AM] Another nuisance call Via Telegram. I'm on the Telegram Preference Service you know - I shouldn't be getting these!
Via Telegram reports:

GKLLERH G5EH WRN VETIRUYG80 43RBG BRT help i'm trapped in a telegram handling factory stop RJ G48TG4H BVBRG BR
[No sign-off? Is everything OK? DH.]

[10:00 AM] Agent Coulson sees duty done, with S.H.I.E.L.D. prototype from Fitz and Simmons, killing Leslie Stowe (Patience)
Agent Coulson reports:

The alliance with Patience was never going to last. Her 'unusual' methods were not compatible with S.H.I.E.L.D. policy, so at 10:00 today the alliance was terminated.

An experimental biomodification was utilised, creating what can only be described as a 'human projectile' based on a combination of Stark and salvaged HYDRA tech.

The weapon was effective, but caused some injury to the operator; further development is required. (My knee really, really hurts.)

Might have to take some time off after this - I think I've earned a holiday. I'll be back come January. [Enjoy Tahiti. DH.]




Patience reports:

As of late, karma has struck me down with illness so my guard has been down. I bumped into fellow colleague Coulson who had a shiny odd shaped thing in his bag. He proceeded to show his new invention to me. Suddenly he turned into a giant 500 calibre bullet and shot me straight into the heart. It is safe to say my chaos has been put to an end.


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