Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 6 News

Thursday, 7 March

[19:28 PM] HK-47 has located and terminated organic element Lorenzo Venturini (Total Commander). Stupid meatbag.
Total Commander reports:

This evening my life was claimed in a surprise attack. No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.

Friday, 8 March

[11:36 AM] Albert Wesker can't catch either Random Strategy or TheMagician
Albert Wesker reports:

============================================= INTERNAL E-MAIL: FOR UMBRELLA CORP. EYES ONLY ============================================= RE: [null] I have nothing to say to you today. I cannot let today's failures to kill TheMagician, the mercenary for LANDEC Industries (who also has a sideline in magic, I hear) and Random Strategy, an unexplained statistical anomaly divert me from my course. Leave me. Leave me with the virus. ===================== END OF INTERNAL EMAIL =====================

[12:01 PM] Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain sallies forth from his mountain... and kills nobody
Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain reports:

At midday today I decided to venture into the lands of the beings known as the incompetents. I was marked as one of their number, but I hoped by ridding the world of a few others, I would be pardoned and once more gain the respect of the other dwarves. My first attempt was on The Sad Mafioso from the province of Emmanuel, but before I could get to his lair I was stopped by an ally of his, who interrogated me on the purpose of my mission. After having sneaked my way out of his questions, I realised it would be too risky to try and force entry into my target's den, so instead waited outside for a while. One I was convinced that the incompetent would not come out of his lair, I made my way to the hiding place of my next target, PseudoTron4000. Again, I waited outside his lair for a considerable amount of time, but there was no sign of stirrings from within, so I left somewhat disappointed that I had not managed to rid the world of a few incompetents.

Saturday, 9 March

[17:45 PM] Oswell E. Spencer has infected Eleanor (Elly) Hobson (Allan Karlsson)
Oswell E. Spencer reports:

============================================= INTERNAL E-MAIL: FOR UMBRELLA CORP. EYES ONLY ============================================= RE: A CUNNING WAY OF GETTING TO ALLAN KARLSSON

It appears that the new mind-control abilities given to me by my new virus are working like a charm. I had no problem getting past the guards patrolling around the outskirts of Allan Karlsson's mansion (getting on of them to leave a door open before abandoning their post). It appears however that some of the other guards managed to spot me as they cunningly disguised one of their own as Allan Karlsson and sent him my way. I was tricked, and wasted one of my precious samples on this buffoon. I then left to see the results of the experiment from a safe distance. Unfortunately, nothing interesting happened: the person I had just infected had not suffered any interesting mutations and had instead just become an ordinary zombie. The real Allan Karlsson then ran towards his house and bolted the door shut. Fortunately, I was still able to mind-control him, and after a while, I had convinced him that my virus was the true path to the future, and he willingly agreed to have it injected into his bloodstream.

PS: We need to be more cautious with our communications. I have sources that indicate that Albert Wesker has somehow managed to break our cipher, and is thus able to spy on us. He now knows I live, which means our secrecy advantage is no more.

===================== END OF INTERNAL EMAIL =====================

The umpire notes: getting innocents to shield you or pretend to be you is not legal. It will not make me a happy umpire.

Sunday, 10 March

[15:10 PM] TheMagician can't seem to get many volunteers...
TheMagician reports:

Lousy audience participation in today's afternoon show. The first stage was set and Yog-Sothoth was invited down to participate in the trick 'the disappearing assassin' but neither he nor his neighbors seemed to want to open the door. I waited around for 15 minutes but no volunteers showed up, after again trying the doorbell of some neighbors I decided to move the stage to another part of cambridge. Fortunately it wasn't to far to PseudoTron4000 room. Making my way into the staircase and having his roommate stating that he probably is in, I made my way up to his room. Knocking and setting up no one opened. Unsure if he was out or just to afraid to open the door I waited for a couple of minutes and left before his neighbors would get too suspicious.

Monday, 11 March

[11:52 AM] The second bolting!

Tuesday, 12 March

[17:45 PM] AugustinisStillaDeadChildWalking. Apparently. He looks pretty alive to me though...
AugustinisStillaDeadChildWalking reports:

Magic is almost as annoying as Augustin.

Friday, 15 March

[15:44 PM] In an epic duel, Augustin Zidek emerged triumphant. There followed a desperate police battle, during which the defenders of light were slain and the galaxy was doomed to a thousand years of darkness and oppression. Oh well. Thanks everyone for playing!
Random Strategy reports:

Random Strategy did random stuff at the duel, under a number of random pseudonyms:

Bolg, son of Azog the Defiler, Lord of Gundabad reports:

At last, after a long journey through the wilderness, Bolg, son of Azog the Difiler, Lord Of gundabad reached the Lonely Mountain. However, other factions had also arrived to try and get their share of the bounty. As well as Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain and his company of dwarves, there was also a TheMagician who was fighting on his own, an undead zombie army, led by some sort of human/elf/thing calling itself Albert Wesker, and a human faction led by their king Blabol.

"Right, you lousy lobs, this i' it! Take no prisoners an' show no mercy. This mountain will be ours, and them dwarves who guard it shall be our next meal. All them others want tha' treasure for themselves, but we'll ju' kill them too. Now forward!"

Thus began the battle of the 5 armies. The first to fall was Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King under the Mountain, defending his fortress from one of the other factions.

The Wizard of Odds reports:

I have successfully slain my rival, TheMagician. He fired spells at me from his wand while I was manipulating the odds to make sure he missed. Eventually, by pure chance, we found ourselves next to a pit of lava, which he then conveniently stepped back into. Unfortunately, I was then pushed in myself by a zombie. Such is the nature of random magic.

Oswell E. Spencer reports:

============================================= INTERNAL E-MAIL: FOR UMBRELLA CORP. EYES ONLY ============================================= RE: Alert

It is with great sadness that I inform you that our boss, Oswell E. Spencer is dead. He was brutally murdered by Albert Wesker, who was then killed shortly afterwards. I will keep you informed as to who your new boss will be. In the meantime, get back to work. We must not let this setback interfere with the company goals.

===================== END OF INTERNAL EMAIL =====================

AugustinisStillaDeadChildWalking reports:

Well, he's still walking.

Trollsaurus reports:

Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Munch, munch, munch, munch. Translation: The Trollsaurus didn't want to be left out, so decided he'd eat the police force. It was very tasty.

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