Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 7 News

Wednesday, 28 November

[03:00 AM] Week 7. The last one.
Random Strategy reports:

Most of our remaining players seem to be acting like this shark: supposedly dangerous, but actually hiding in the dark, terrified that people might find them and kill them.

Since it seems unlikely the players will finish each other off by the end of term, the game will end in a duel. It will take place at Churchill College, starting sometime around 12:30 to 12:45, depending on what time the players arrive. Spectators are welcome to come and watch.

Also, the police war will also be brought to an end this day. Once the main game duel is over (which should probably be around 14:00 by my estimates, although it's hard to predict exactly how long it will take the players to finish), the final battle will commence. The loyal police force will lay siege to Mom's fortress in an attempt to rid the world of this great evil. Meanwhile, Mom and the corrupt police will be doing everything they can to continue taking over the world. Any police (whether loyal or corrupt) who want to take part should show up.

(Also, anyone bringing weapons should let me know so that I can make the duel fair)

[13:00 PM] To celebrate the end of lectures, Random Strategy kills Old Man Waterfall, Penisfarmer and Destructor, as well as 5 innocents.
GLaDOS reports:

There's going to be party! All my friends are invited! Only I killed them all because of how unlikeable they are! Their passing shall not be mourned!

Hahahahah! I'm in charge of this whole facility! I can test and murder whoever I please!

The Umpire is currently umpiring while drunk.

[17:00 PM] Swishy fails at getting rid of any competition again today
Swishy reports:

Today between the hours of 16.20 and 17.00 I made attempts on Hedgehog and Nanobots, wanting to minimise the number of opponents I will have to face at the duel. The attempts consisted of a lot of sneaking around, hiding and waiting, but I got no further in my mission and trudged home forlornly. There is still tomorrow before the duel... (very scared face)

[19:00 PM] Destructor minus an arm gets killed again. By Mom IV..
Mom IV reports:

Apparently Destructor minus an arm like winning things. And I know there is an award for most deaths. So I killed him again. Force of habit, force of habit.

Thursday, 29 November

[19:30 PM] The umpire continues his murderous partying by slaying Mom IV, Penisfarmer, Destructor minus two arms, and 8 innocents.
GLaDOS reports:

I do like to test...

[20:00 PM] Ceasefire!

Friday, 30 November

[12:45 PM] The duel!
Random Strategy reports:

Contestants were Addison Shore, Alison Madgwick, Christian Greer, Julian Willis, Petras Balciunas and Toby Crisford

The duel started at 12:45. The contestents spread out on the grass. Surprisingly, none of them hid in the large area around the boundary with lots of cover. Pretty soon, it ended up with Petras Balciunas fighting Julian Willis at one end, and the other 4 fighting at the other. Alison Madgwick killed Toby Crisford, but then Petras Balciunas and Julian Willis came round from the other end and managed to pin down Alison Madgwick into a corner. Eventually, she was killed by a tennis ball by Julian Willis. From then on, the contestants stayed entirely on just one side of the arena.

Addison Shore and Christian Greer teamed up against Julian Willis and Petras Balciunas, and eventually, Christian Greer managed to hit Julian Willis with a nerf dart. They then tried pinning Petras Balciunas to the side of a wall, but unfortunately, Petras Balciunas broke free by killing Christian Greer.

Now it was only Addison Shore and Petras Balciunas left. This stage took a very long time. Despite outranging Addison Shore, Petras Balciunas kept hiding behind pillars or trees. Addison Shore would make a few shots at him which would barely reach the level of the pillar/tree, and then have to jump back a meter when Petras Balciunas retaliated. Eventually the umpire got bored of this stalemate, so decided to allow the dead players (resurected as police) to hunt down the remaining two, as punishment for their being incompetent at the duel. Morbo (Christian Greer) was weilding two companion cubes, Nibbler (Alison Madgwick) and Bender Rodriguez (Toby Crisford) were weilding their guns. They all decided to go for Petras Balciunas, and Bender Rodriguez got him as he was being distracted by companion cubes.


Alison Madgwick killed Toby Crisford (Levitating BBQ)

Julian Willis killed Alison Madgwick (Swishy)

Christian Greer killed Julian Willis (Nanobots)

Petras Balciunas killed Christian Greer (Austerity Measures)

Bender Rodriguez killed Petras Balciunas (Hedgehog)

Leaving Addison Shore (tacticallemon) as the winner!

Following this, we had the police battle. Unfortunately, the chief of police, Francis X. Clampazzo, couldn't make it, so Random Strategy took command of the loyal forces instead. Meanwhile, tacticallemon decided to join the dark side. The game was capture the cube, which required the teams to capture both cubes simultaneously. (I didn't have any flags to do it properly). The first game involved Nibbler staying behind guarding the cube (armed with a rubber band gun) while Random Strategy went alone to capture the other cube (armed with a giant bionic spoon and the topological nightmare). Mom V and tacticallemon were both guarding their cube (armed with nerf guns). Random Strategy wacked both of them with the spoon and ran off with the cube. Victory for the loyal forces!

The next round Beelzebot and Lrrr joined the fight (Lrrr on the loyal side and Beelzebot on the corrupt side; both armed with javelins). At this stage, tacticallemon decided to betray Mom V, ran off with the cube, shot his entire team, and secured the victory for the loyal team in the second round.

MomCorp had been succesfully stopped. There would be no taking over the world for Mom V this term. We are victorious.

Swishy reports:

The duel started at approximately 12.45 with all six duelists hidden in various nooks and crannies of the buildings of Churchill College. I was the first assassin to make a kill and we were down to five, Toby Crisford having fallen victim to my superior aim with a gun. Unfortunately my winning streak failed me there and I was driven into a corner by the remaining duelists, before being hit by a tennis ball (I think it was meant to be a bomb, but am not entirely sure) thrown by Julian Willis. My killer was the next to go, shortly after followed by Christian Greer. We were down to the final two assassins, Addison Shore and Petras Balciunas. At this point we reached an impass, both duelists skillfully dodging the shots fired by the other. Finally the Umpire decreed the dead to walk again to help the duel reach its conclusion. The four fallen duelists rejoined the battle and soon Petras Balciunas was dead and Addison Shore was left to claim the cold victory that is finding out that all of the people you did share an interest with have been killed and it is your fault.

After the conclusion of the duel, the final battle of the police commenced. It was a fairly dull event, due to the lack of any police except for the leader of the corrupt police, Adam Beaumont. After two rounds of capture the companion cube it was clear that victory belonged to the Umpire and those who had stayed faithful to him, as his weaponry was vastly superior to anything the dark side could boast. Thus an old age ends and a new one begins, hopefully one of more success for Swishy.

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