The Assassins' Guild: Michaelmas 2012 Game Awards

For various achievements and entertainments, the following awards are presented:

The Lemming Award for the first to die:

Quintin Beer, who didn't make it to midday.

The Holzhauer Award for psychopathy:

Adam Beaumont for 7 kills as a player, then a further 4 as police
Honourable mentions to Thomas Richlyk and Rudi Mears who also got 7.

The Kenny Award for dying far too many times:

Lawrence Esswood, for a ridiculous 11 deaths, so much that the umpire ran out of Tinny Tim related pseudonyms to give him.

The Darwin Award for death by stupidity:

James Robbs for, after successfully warding off assailants for the entire game, leaving his door unlocked during open season... twice!

The Most Ironic Death Award:

Rory Prescott for getting killed by the new chief of police (who had only just been appointed the previous day) while going out to vote for the real life chief of police.

The Dr Kimble Award for surviving the longest time on the wanted list:

Rudi Mears for surviving 6 days and 5 attempts on his life in that interval.

The Robocop Award for Killing Wanted Criminals:

Adam Beaumont for taking down two, including the notorious Rudi Mears, despite going irredeemeably corrupt himself.

The Mario Sainz-Martinez Award for cowwuption:

Adam Beaumont for trying to take over the world.

The Concerned Citizen Award:

James Robson for killing 5 incompetents and getting himself promoted to chief of police.
Honourable mention to Toby Crisford for killing Petras Balciunas (second place), ending the final duel in favour of Addison Shore.

The Laurel And Hardy Award for most amusing double-act:

Daniel Hunt and Daniel Hunt for having the same name, living in the same college, doing the same subject, and using their dual identity to trick other assassins.
Honourable mention to Adam Beaumont and Lawrence Esswood for killing each other almost every day.

The David Duffit Award for secrecy and deception:

The Umpire for secretely being Glados.

The Leek and Safe Award for most interesting weaponry:

Chris Kitching for licensing a laser flying nerf shark, even though he never used it.

The Yellow Streak Award for running away:

Melanie Mertesdorf for (while incompetent), running to hide in a toilet while her (competent) ally died fighting off the police officer trying to kill her.

The Zaphod Beeblebrox award for style:

George Brade for killing everyone with a lightsaber.

The Harland Quinn Golden Quill for the most amusing reports:

Thomas Ruddle, for Frank Fontaine (and also Wheatley).
Honourable mention to James Hardman for the Captain

The Brutus Award for best betrayal:

Addison Shore, for finishing the police battle by murdering the entire corrupt team (which he was on).

The Banker's Bonus Award for profit:

Alison Madgwick for acquiring the rewards for everyone else in the game.

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