The Assassins' Guild - Updates
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New on Tuesday, 6 December
[
1 Dec, 15:00 PM]
The Brigadier takes a tacticallemon to try and kill Mega Super Ultra Extra.
New on Monday, 5 December
[
1 Dec, 07:00 AM]
Random Strategy almost leads to Sir Winston Churchill being shot
New on Wednesday, 30 November
[
30 Nov, 18:15 PM]
Nightfingers makes Tiny (Esther Kezia Harding) just the tiniest bit dead.
[
30 Nov, 13:00 PM]
Hannah McLaughlin (Mr Papaya AKA And recently, meat) is recently, meat thanks to Rory Williams
New on Tuesday, 29 November
[
29 Nov, 12:00 PM]
Double-kill! Rory Williams has slain the Cookie-monster (Jonathan Bootle) but dies heroically in the process (again).
[
29 Nov, 13:00 PM]
Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart attempts to disband The Shadow Proclamation
[
28 Nov, 12:15 PM]
My other pseudonym starts with a T has some pizza, but no MegaSuperUltraExtraChicken.
[
28 Nov, 23:40 PM]
Mega Super Ultra Extra may be super but he isn't SuperStealth.
[
28 Nov, 17:30 PM]
And recently, meat has been attempting to kill a tacticallemon
[
28 Nov, 17:45 PM]
There's a killer MegaSuperUltraExtraChicken on the loose! Craig Newbold's dying words - 'Tis but a flesh wound'
New on Monday, 28 November
[
28 Nov, 11:00 AM]
Rory Williams has defeated the evil James Peter Stuart Robson (Telganistico AKA Killer Bug 1 AKA D. Mendeleev, The Chemistry Bro)
New on Sunday, 27 November
[
25 Nov, 18:00 PM]
My other pseudonym starts with a T...the number of assassins he tried to kill also begins with a T.
New on Saturday, 26 November
[
25 Nov, 23:00 PM]
A thrilling chase after [UNSPECIFIED-SOCIETY] as Rory Williams attempts to stab a fleeing Telganistico
[
25 Nov, 13:20 PM]
Tinky Winky (Toby Crisford) says tubby bye byes as Oodfficer Sigma stabs him.
[
25 Nov, 11:00 AM]
Weeping Angel finally wins the staring contest between him and fdztxs (Viktor Konstantinov)
New on Friday, 25 November
[
25 Nov, 01:06 AM]
Ganon (Nicola (Nicky) Wood) has been eaten by one of the Umpire's pet ferrets.
[
24 Nov, 09:55 AM]
No beetroots for Tinky Winky, Zop the Exploding Beetroot is already dead.
[
24 Nov, 09:00 AM]
Zop the Exploding Beetroot (Matt Kingston) becomes the latest victim of The Government
[
23 Nov, 23:40 PM]
Mega Super Ultra Extra attempts to rget rid of Amun Ra and fdztxs
[
23 Nov, 18:00 PM]
Ganon, Amun Ra and fdztxs should all be very careful not to blink...there's a Weeping Angel after them.
[
24 Nov, 17:10 PM]
'Tis but a flesh wound'! Though MegaSuperUltraExtraChicken can't find him or Amun Ra...
[
23 Nov, 13:30 PM]
More Doctor Who and Teletubbies crossovers! This time Tinky Winky teams up with Oodfficer Sigma to hunt down incos (unsuccessfully).
[
23 Nov, 12:10 PM]
Random Strategy's choice of tactic leads to a standoff between him and Cookie-monster
New on Wednesday, 23 November
[
22 Nov, 23:30 PM]
Rory Williams...the man who dies and dies again. This time to a Weeping Angel.
[
22 Nov, 16:00 PM]
Someone has been trying to kill Morgan le Fay and Cookie-monster. And recently, meat.
[
22 Nov, 14:00 PM]
Doctor Who and Teletubbies crossovers shouldn't work...yet Tinky Winky has still killed Martha Jones.
[
22 Nov, 10:00 AM]
Random Strategy doesn't always work, at least not for catching Cookie-monsters.
[
21 Nov, 17:15 PM]
And so Morgan le Fay (Carys Jane Redman-White) was slaine by the vylain Cookie-monster
[
21 Nov, 18:45 PM]
The Lord President of Gallifrey Rassilon attempts to overrule The Shadow Proclamation
New on Monday, 21 November
[
21 Nov, 10:50 AM]
Tom Taylor (TiddlyTom AKA Stealth) is outstealthed by a tacticallemon
[
20 Nov, 21:50 PM]
tacticallemon tries to tactically outmanoeuvre Green Dragon and TiddlyTom
[
21 Nov, 16:33 PM]
Le Meurtrier, Green Dragon and Broi are next to feel the wrath of the DOOM ferrets.
New on Sunday, 20 November
[
19 Nov, 17:30 PM]
Count Zachary may be stealthy, but his killer has SuperStealth.
[
20 Nov, 00:10 AM]
Rory Williams and Rassilon team up with Telganistico to hunt down incos.
[
19 Nov, 12:45 PM]
Le Meurtrier, Ganon and fdztxs are all super at hiding from Mega Super Ultra Extra
[
19 Nov, 10:49 AM]
The Evil Scorby will no longer be terrorising the streets of Cambridge.
[
18 Nov, 09:55 AM]
Chaos outside [SUBJECT-REDACTED] lectures - Discord (Andy Marsh) is downed by Mr Papaya
[
18 Nov, 16:50 PM]
The Umpire may also have created this pseudonym but Brewy (Jack Brewster) didn't really create a good plan for attacking him.
New on Thursday, 17 November
[
17 Nov, 12:05 PM]
Aaron Domnoob tries to get Count Zachary to join the Noob guild.
[
16 Nov, 19:00 PM]
Round 2! My other pseudonym starts with a T tries again, but necrognostic is still nowhere to be found.
[
16 Nov, 17:45 PM]
necrognostic proves troublesome for My other pseudonym starts with a T to find.
[
17 Nov, 11:20 AM]
D. Mendeleev, The Chemistry Bro attempts to kill 'Tis but a flesh wound' with SCIENCE!
[
17 Nov, 01:17 AM]
Mary Moo Cow, Bob Marley, Pseudonym Made Up By The Umpire No.34, necrognostic, Didn't submit a pseudonym, snake, Big Tree and Spark disappear into a crack in the ground, never to be seen again.
[
16 Nov, 12:20 PM]
Cookie-monster attempts to kill Le Meurtrier and Cyborg Ostrich, without success.
[
16 Nov, 19:35 PM]
Rory Williams has saved the Universe from the threat of Stormageddon, the Dark Lord of All.
[
16 Nov, 12:05 PM]
Rory Williams has defeated the malevolent Cyborg Ostrich (Maria Leggatt).
[
15 Nov, 22:30 PM]
The killing curse seems to be a good tactic for a tacticallemon, less so for Joshua Andrews (Andrew Harland)
[
15 Nov, 21:20 PM]
Ganon doesn't get killed...The Umpire may also have created this pseudonym
[
15 Nov, 18:35 PM]
What happens when you combine I have no need for a Pseudonym cos I am going inco with Brandy? Brandy (Brendan Clifford) dies.
[
14 Nov, 19:05 PM]
The double-act of 'Tis but a flesh wound' and fdztxs are at it again!
New on Monday, 14 November
[
13 Nov, 21:00 PM]
Zop the Exploding Beetroot and Morgan team up and get one kill each - pembunuh sunyi (Shahhaziq (Shah) Shahari) and ghost (Sharukh Malik).
[
13 Nov, 15:45 PM]
Tinky Winky says "Eh-oh" to Ploddipop (Sam Peat)...with a knife.
[
12 Nov, 13:00 PM]
Le Meurtrier, Green Dragon and Amun Ra don't want any Brandy.
[
11 Nov, 18:05 PM]
Morgan le Fay hath slaine The Dark beast known as Alan Mitchell
[
11 Nov, 21:00 PM]
The Government forks over another victim (Gianpiero Roscelli).
New on Saturday, 12 November
[
12 Nov, 16:45 PM]
Mega Super Ultra Extra makes Marvin the Paranoid Android (Robert John Seaton) so depressed he dies.
[
12 Nov, 14:00 PM]
Mr Papaya still can't kill Joshua Andrews, though not through lack of trying.
[
11 Nov, 18:00 PM]
Discord causes chaos by killing Chanandler Bong (Benjamin Hammond (Ben))
[
10 Nov, 17:25 PM]
Geekslashfool (Will Lawn) was foolish to allow Oodfficer Sigma to enter his room
[
10 Nov, 21:12 PM]
Commander Keen (Thomas Clausen) is killed by the keen police officer, Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart, assisted by tacticallemon who kills Mantis (Christos Panayi)
[
10 Nov, 13:15 PM]
Aaron Domnoob goes out noob-pwning. DavidKean (Alex Jackman) and The Jazzy Hippogriff (Grace Carroll) are pwned.
New on Thursday, 10 November
[
10 Nov, 13:00 PM]
Fusilli (Andrew Bauer) becomes fatally entangled in Random Strategy's latest invention.
[
9 Nov, 18:00 PM]
A Random Strategy is not the best way to find Phillipe Philloppe
[
9 Nov, 16:30 PM]
Phillipe Philloppe's (Kyle Lam) vital status is flipped to dead by the Cookie-monster
[
9 Nov, 21:00 PM]
The Brigadier finds that HAL OGEN is already dead...blast!
[
9 Nov, 12:00 PM]
Count Zachary puts a stop to Raver's (Ravinda Gunaratne) endless partying.
[
9 Nov, 18:40 PM]
Tiny continues their killing spree, adding Perkele (Sakari Mesimaki) to the list of corpses.
New on Wednesday, 9 November
[
9 Nov, 17:25 PM]
Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart gets rid of the incompetent This was also made up by the Umpire (Stefan Liam Arun Nigam)
[
9 Nov, 09:01 AM]
A Wandering Minstrel (Nicholas (Nick) Caldwell) gets eaten by Wichita
[
8 Nov, 18:50 PM]
Tiny is apparently small enough to go by unnoticed by fdztxs
[
8 Nov, 17:40 PM]
fdztxs goes hunting incompetents...'Tis but a flesh wound'!
[
8 Nov, 12:10 PM]
The Umpire may also have created this pseudonym...but nobody's creating Raver's death.
[
8 Nov, 22:40 PM]
tacticallemon tactically removes HAL OGEN (Harry Wright) from the game.
[
8 Nov, 19:50 PM]
Tiny kills Woody A (Alison Woodman) and tries to kill Perkele
[
8 Nov, 16:30 PM]
Nothing tenuous about Tenuousness' (Zephyr Penoyre) death at the hands of I have no need for a Pseudonym cos I am going inco
[
8 Nov, 12:00 PM]
D. Mendeleev, The Chemistry Bro attempts to perform experiments on Chanandler Bong
[
8 Nov, 11:30 AM]
tacticallemon went for the tactic of killing Yossarain (Steven (Steve) Rogers).
New on Monday, 7 November
[
7 Nov, 16:45 PM]
Cyborg Ostrich attempts to vaporise Killer Bug 1 and Count Zachary, but without success.
[
7 Nov, 12:05 PM]
Tinky Winky says tubby byebyes to Valentino (David Ginsbourg)
[
6 Nov, 19:30 PM]
Stealth continues to be out-stealthed by other assassins. This time, by Mr X
[
6 Nov, 15:00 PM]
Oodfficer Sigma and Martha Jones team up with Tinky Winky to slay incompetents. They kill Dominic (Dom) Hinkins and Ben Elliott
[
5 Nov, 12:00 PM]
Count Zachary had No idea? that Louis Bailey was already dead.
[
5 Nov, 18:00 PM]
DrHeinzDoofenshmirtz (Ben Webb) dies as a result of the use of a Random Strategy
[
5 Nov, 21:00 PM]
Rory Williams shoots out The Savage Eye of Bucephalus What Kills People (Hester (Hettie) Thorneycroft), helped by a Weeping Angel
[
5 Nov, 11:40 AM]
Wichita isn't in when a Tiny assassin comes looking for them.
New on Sunday, 6 November
[
5 Nov, 14:00 PM]
Ganon is still keen to kill Commander Keen, Commander Keen appears to be less keen for this.
[
4 Nov, 16:30 PM]
Louis Bailey had No idea? what hit him when he was killed by Discord
New on Saturday, 5 November
[
3 Nov, 12:00 PM]
Cookie-monster befriends fdztxs's bedder, but not fdztxs himself.
[
2 Nov, 11:30 AM]
Cookie-monster goes looking for fdztxs, with some truly awful background music.
[
4 Nov, 11:58 AM]
SkillzUpInThisExtra's (Michael Jason Stec) song is over. Oodfficer Sigma killed him.
[
3 Nov, 17:40 PM]
Yes (Zac Baynham-Herd) blinked. Le Meurtrier, Coors Light, Red and Geekslashfool didn't. Weeping Angel killed Yes
New on Wednesday, 2 November
[
30 Oct, 14:30 PM]
Kingy (Alexander King) and Deathfader (James (Jamie) Scott) forgot not to blink. Weeping Angel killed them.
[
2 Nov, 13:00 PM]
A Wandering Minstrel discovers that his singing is not sufficient to kill people
[
2 Nov, 12:00 PM]
There's no Ambivalence over Carolyn Barker's death at the hands of Stealth
[
1 Nov, 18:30 PM]
Anathema (Edward (Ed) Godfrey) gets shot..."'Tis but a flesh wound'!"
[
1 Nov, 09:05 AM]
WASPOOOR!!! Killer Bug 3 (Steph teh Ninja Ninja Leddington) sacrifices Your Supervisor (Mark Brown) to Waspor, but dies in the process.
New on Tuesday, 1 November
[
30 Oct, 12:15 PM]
The Darkness is vanquished in a final epic battle between the Elder God and the Alliance.
[
31 Oct, 17:55 PM]
The Noob's Guild continues to grow as Aaron Domnoob pwns the Duchess of Cambridge (Kande Andrews)
[
31 Oct, 10:00 AM]
DavidKean. This pseudonym was also made up by the Umpire. Already dead. Disaster!
[
31 Oct, 08:30 AM]
The Patriot (Finnian Firth) is no match for D. Mendeleev, The Chemistry Bro
[
29 Oct, 23:00 PM]
I got it from Agnes (Natalie Wellings), she got killed by Amun Ra
[
29 Oct, 15:00 PM]
Another Umpire-created pseudonym (Guang (Betty) Xia Xu) falls prey to the Mantis
[
30 Oct, 13:10 PM]
Rory Williams attempts to kill Yes, but finds someone else in his room.
[
30 Oct, 18:30 PM]
The Jazzy Hippogriff kills again! This time DIG (Daniel (Dan) Jafferji) dies.
[
30 Oct, 17:30 PM]
The Grey Man (Kentaro Ueshima) gets eaten by The Jazzy Hippogriff
[
30 Oct, 15:55 PM]
On the incobash, Telganistico takes down Lizard (Abdulla Al-Kamil) and 3ps (Jordan White)
[
29 Oct, 18:45 PM]
Tenuousness says: "No, Medeis (David Vasak) I expect you to dine."
[
30 Oct, 09:35 AM]
Marvin the Paranoid Android makes Nine (Joe He) so depressed he dies.
[
29 Oct, 17:20 PM]
Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition! But Commander Keen was still prepared enough to defend himself
[
30 Oct, 02:20 AM]
Telganistico kills Dr Baltar (Rob May-Miller) and Oaty (James Glanville)
New on Sunday, 30 October
[
29 Oct, 13:40 PM]
tacticallemon goes for the tactic of shooting Don Salvatore (Andrew Buchan) whilst he is sleeping.
[
29 Oct, 10:12 AM]
A Cyborg Ostrich is on the rampage, though it hasn't killed anyone yet.
[
28 Oct, 21:45 PM]
Morgan and Zop the Exploding Beetroot discover that Useless (Tim Squirrell) is good at one thing - dying.
[
28 Oct, 13:00 PM]
The Jazzy Hippogriff goes on a quest to slay Arthur Pendragon! Wait, what?
[
29 Oct, 12:45 PM]
In his house in [MYSTERIOUS-PLACE-REDACTED] dead Cthulhu lies dreaming of killing Fusilli
[
28 Oct, 16:00 PM]
42nd Pseudonym Invented By The Umpire (Victoria (Vicki) McAvinue) kills Rachael Booth, and then gets shot by Anathema
[
28 Oct, 20:04 PM]
The Government has changed the law regarding Iron Storm (Tom Norris): they're now dead.
[
28 Oct, 15:30 PM]
Brewy kills Blinky (Rich Crichton), but doesn't get Commander Keen or Aaron Domnoob
[
28 Oct, 15:00 PM]
Discord is foiled by Mega Super Ultra Extra's and Geekslashfool's locked doors.
[
28 Oct, 15:40 PM]
Useless tries to kill Chanandler Bong, but ends up having a conversation. Assessment of assassin? Useless!
[
28 Oct, 19:40 PM]
'Tis but a flesh wound'! Well, Trafalgar Law (James Hartley) died...but it's still just a flesh wound!!
[
28 Oct, 15:54 PM]
Her Royal Highness Queenie (Melanie Mertesdorf) has been slain by the villainous Don Salvatore.
New on Friday, 28 October
[
27 Oct, 18:00 PM]
Ben Elliott and Rachael Booth decide to go after the wanted criminal Commander Keen
New on Thursday, 27 October
[
27 Oct, 16:05 PM]
King Arthur Pendragon has slayne Crispy (Jin-Xi Yuan) in bataill
[
27 Oct, 16:45 PM]
Morgan decides to rid the game of a potential Cereal Killer (Andrew Kiddey (Andy))
[
27 Oct, 13:20 PM]
Pablo (Elizabeth (Lizzy) Perkins) gets pwned by Aaron Domnoob
[
27 Oct, 12:00 PM]
A Wandering Minstrel teams up with a Cookie-monster, but neither get any kills
[
27 Oct, 15:00 PM]
Discord seeks to cause disorder in the Cabinet by killing Prime Minister Harriet Jones, only to find she's already dead.
[
27 Oct, 10:00 AM]
Harriet Jones (Ewa Muszynska) is inexplicably killed off by The Steven Moffat Plothole Monster
[
27 Oct, 09:55 AM]
The Umpire made up this pseudonym but nobody is making up Jack Williams's death at the hands of Amun Ra.
[
23 Oct, 12:06 PM]
Gordon Freeman(Matt Hinks) appears to have quite a short half-life thanks to Raver
[
26 Oct, 17:00 PM]
Commander Keen shoots something he is supposed to - a Frog (Raphael Proust)
New on Wednesday, 26 October
[
24 Oct, 22:10 PM]
'Tis but a flesh wound'! Oh no, wait, Matt Hinks is already dead...
[
26 Oct, 13:30 PM]
Mario Balotelli(Rajkumar Sarujan) gets caught out by Ganon and stabbed.
[
25 Oct, 18:30 PM]
Ambivalence certainly can't find any of their targets (Crispy, The Umpire made up this pseudonym and ghost)
[
26 Oct, 16:10 PM]
WASPOOOR!!!! Killer Bug 2 and Killer Bug 3 sacrifice mz/x(Balazs Torok) to their god.
[
26 Oct, 19:50 PM]
Killer Bug 2's (Gregory Andrew Weir) weakness shows as Brandy shoots him and Waspor takes his soul.
[
25 Oct, 18:00 PM]
Yossarain is one short of a full deck of cards now that he's disposed of The Jack of Hearts(Arjun Sajip).
[
26 Oct, 14:25 PM]
This was also made up by the Umpire. But I'm not making up Tinky Winky's attempt on This was also made up by the Umpire's life.
[
25 Oct, 19:00 PM]
Her Royal Highness Queenie requests that SkillzUpInThisExtra becomes less skillful at hiding from her.
[
25 Oct, 19:30 PM]
Chanandler Bong shoots Your Mum(Joanna Lau) after they fail to get Oaty.
[
25 Oct, 14:05 PM]
The Dubstep Pigeon (Claire Emily Hubert) has taken it's last flight thanks to Amun Ra
[
24 Oct, 15:00 PM]
Zop the Exploding Beetroot and Morgan go looking for a Cereal Killer, but fail to find one.
New on Tuesday, 25 October
[
24 Oct, 17:00 PM]
The Umpire chose my pseudonym (Harry Edwards), but Brandy chose the time of death
[
24 Oct, 10:00 AM]
Not even ninjas (Jon Tong) can stop the bloodthirsty Tinky Winky
[
24 Oct, 11:00 AM]
fdztxs appears not to appreciate Rainbow Socks(Caroline Clark) as footwear
[
24 Oct, 08:15 AM]
Morgan won't be getting any Coors Light if he continues not to show up
[
23 Oct, 16:00 PM]
Stone circle sacrifice! Well, technically a The Boulder(Amelia Zoe Rowan) circle sacrifice...
New on Sunday, 23 October
[
23 Oct, 18:35 PM]
Eldritch horrors walk the streets of Cambridge! Cthulhu seeks to devour Broi but finds his mind sealed against him.
[
22 Oct, 22:45 PM]
Kitty(Katie Hocking) and Kronos(Tudor Balan) get bitten by a Snake
[
23 Oct, 19:00 PM]
Commander Keen (Thomas Clausen) really needs to sort out that twitchy trigger finger
[
22 Oct, 16:30 PM]
Chanandler Bong goes looking for the 42nd Pseudonym Invented By The Umpire
New on Saturday, 22 October
[
22 Oct, 14:00 PM]
Morgan le Fay takes up a quest to find the villainous Mary Moo Cow
[
21 Oct, 17:45 PM]
Me(Damian Phillips-Cragg) was killed by Mr Papaya. No not me. Me.
[
22 Oct, 10:30 AM]
First wanted player! Commander Keen develops an over-active trigger finger and shoots his neighbour.
[
21 Oct, 20:00 PM]
Museve (Ewa Muszynska) is killed by the use of Stealth and a banana
[
20 Oct, 22:00 PM]
Le Meurtrier a assassine Yuta (Edward Kay-Coles). (Le Meurtrier killed Yuta)
[
21 Oct, 20:27 PM]
Un meurtre plus! Le Meurtrier a poignarde O. B. Laden (Joshua Wooderson).
New on Friday, 21 October
[
21 Oct, 18:15 PM]
Museve puts an end to the Professor of Pinguistics's (David Mears) cruel penguin experiments, alongside Me
[
21 Oct, 06:00 AM]
Swords and pistols at dawn! Ganon takes on Commander Keen, but both participants leave still alive and unarmed.
[
20 Oct, 14:00 PM]
Tenuousness discovers that not only is The Squeezable Captain(Matthew Morgan) Squeezable, he is also killable
New on Thursday, 20 October
[
19 Oct, 22:30 PM]
Telganistico had an examples paper to hand in to Your Supervisor, but Your Supervisor wasn't in.
[
20 Oct, 11:00 AM]
TiddlyTom catches a Spider (Andrew Rumbol) and promptly kills him.
[
19 Oct, 17:20 PM]
Arthur Pendragon rides forth on a quest to find Kingy and Wichita
[
19 Oct, 16:10 PM]
Ben Elliott takes the biscuit and kills Gerry Monderson (Fergus (Fergle) Riche)
New on Wednesday, 19 October
[
19 Oct, 18:35 PM]
SkillzUpInThisExtra seems to have something of a skill for killing, according to YDdraigGoch
[
19 Oct, 15:00 PM]
Didn't submit a pseudonym? Well, Anathema did, but failed to find their target.
[
19 Oct, 13:41 PM]
First blood! Chaosweaver bang-kills John Titor (Christian William Paul Greer (Chris)).
[
19 Oct, 03:00 AM]
The game has begun. Let bloodshed, carnage and other fun things commence!
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