Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Headlines


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Friday, 11 June

[16:00 PM] The game begins!!
[17:24 PM] The game gets poked with a stick
[17:31 PM] One of Ed's broken morris sticks enjoys some pleasant socialising with Hot Crossbow Bunny, killing him in the process
[17:34 PM] I heard a dude. He did not however stay to hear my ballad.
[17:50 PM] Attempt close but fails
[19:15 PM] Tithe My Wok meets Wxrthltl Jwlpklz and Doctor Octagonapus. The latter flees, the former does not...
[19:50 PM] No Use For a Pseudonym was killed by Tithe My Wok while making a C3PO costume.
[20:00 PM] Multiple groups turned up in the same place at the same time. Deaths occurred. Squirrel Pyrimidal to The Moist One and The Moist One to Dr. Talos
[20:24 PM] Things Jam, Alex Dies. Especially strawberries. His Lordship the Duke killed Nasreddin Hodja.
[20:25 PM] Zombie Jigglypuff used rollout to stop Dan Baker watching football
[21:00 PM] Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] did a doublestrike with single bands to the back in a ballqueue but neither counted :(
[21:20 PM] Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] held what turned out to be Elahrairhah's (Hot Crossbow Bunny) ghost at gunpoint
[22:00 PM] Cassius Chaerea kills The Marquis de Carabas in Sidney Bar
[22:30 PM] His Lordship the Duke shot The Moist One's corpse
[22:45 PM] Cassius Chaerea kills Mogulevski
[23:10 PM] Tithe My Wok and Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] get ambushed by His Lordship the Duke and MLIT

Saturday, 12 June

[01:33 AM] The candyman massively mistimed his ambush on A Flemish Flamingo and was defeated by security gates
[13:29 PM] Sporks were found to not be so useful as forks...The Moist One and Spork double killed.
[14:14 PM] Gordon Brown (texture like sun) raises duty on Pimms. The Paradox and Zombie Jigglypuff set to lose out.
[14:15 PM] Tithe My Wok finds The Marquis de Carabas, and it is experimentally determined that a single rubber band beats a sword.
[14:30 PM] Cassius Chaerea shoots Mogulevski at the Union Society Garden Party
[14:45 PM] Red Neck kills Crazy, Salty, Noodle, Doctor Octagonapus, Limes and Noodle shoots an 'innocent'
[15:00 PM] Card Games on Motorcycles (without card games or motorcycles but plenty of death). Leroy Jenkins killed Deniable Iron
[16:10 PM] Ice cream is a dangerous luxury. Red Neck is discharged from office by Dr. Talos, but revenged by his colleague Professor Monster
[16:46 PM] His Lordship the Duke shoots R.C. in the back as he enjoys the delights of $UNSPECIFIED garden party
[17:00 PM] A crazed squirrel takes revenge
[17:13 PM] Gordon Brown (texture like sun) ended boom, bust and The Paradox
[17:29 PM] Dude, you forgot to enter a headline >:|
[17:32 PM] A crazed squirrel takes revenge
[17:48 PM] The Marquis de Carabas was murdered in his hidden mansion by Tithe My Wok
[18:06 PM] Failed ambush ensues double kill. And then another kill.
[18:50 PM] Cassius Chaerea stabs R.C., but he is already dead!
[19:15 PM] The Marquis de Carabas mutilates the corpse of Mogulevski, just to make sure
[19:25 PM] Cassius (Cassius Chaerea) stabbed by Monty (Monty Crackers)
[20:35 PM] Massacre of the Innocents - Tsinakan, the great king, king of the land of Kasadgad, brother to the sun and moon brutally slaughters seven bystanders!
[21:01 PM] Zombie Jigglypuff eats Gordon Brown (texture like sun)'s brains. Again.
[21:15 PM] Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] used Stinglet on Esther Nicoll
[21:30 PM] The Elusive Higg's Boson did not think that The Moist One was adequately living up to his title, and swiftly rectified this.
[22:00 PM] Murder at the Superbop
[22:45 PM] Cohen the Barbarian (because it's never too late to invade a thinly-disguised caricature of the Chinese Empire) shot Neal Carr, Robert Sullivan and Julian Willis. Leroy wisely chose to run in the opposite directionan and Leroy. Julian Willis wisely chose to run in the opposite direction
[23:10 PM] Cohen the Barbarian (because it's never too late to invade a thinly-disguised caricature of the Chinese Empire) shot Danae Mercer

Sunday, 13 June

[00:30 AM] Distinctive costumes prove fatal
[00:50 AM] Squirrel Pyrimidal kills both Wxrthltl Jwlpklz and Limes
[08:40 AM] Cohen The Barbarian carried off a lovely maiden forlorn (Sophie Kneller) into oblivion
[10:00 AM] A plot unravelled
[11:04 AM] The Paradox had a quick jog, somehow stabbing Gordon Brown (texture like sun) in the process. Oh, revenge is sweet!
[11:20 AM] Blood sinks into the brown brick of Churchill... Penis-on, Wxrthltl Jwlpklz and Salty are taken down by Elrond, MLIT and Spork respectively
[12:15 PM] And finally one bites the dust as Spork kills Wxrthltl Jwlpklz
[13:00 PM] Hercule Poirot killed Leroy Jenkins and The Fourth Doctor who killed Red Neck who killed Super-happy-face =D!. Professor Monster survived the carnage
[13:57 PM] Fresh air proved fatal. Dr. Talos killed The Moist One
[14:44 PM] Proof that Morris should be done with Sporks, Spork killed One of Ed's broken morris sticks
[15:10 PM] Tithe My Wok goes on a killing spree of sorts
[15:35 PM] Tithe My Wok's killing spree was abruptly ended
[16:24 PM] Dude, you forgot to enter a headline >:|
[16:30 PM] Garden party carnage
[16:52 PM] Platymapus got Suicide Sundae'd
[16:55 PM] His Lordship the Duke takes out Squirrel Pyrimidal but mistakenly stabs someone who looks surprisingly like another member of the same college...
[17:00 PM] Leroy Jenkins runs in and screws over his teammates
[17:45 PM] The HydroBlade cuts a swath of destruction
[18:20 PM] The Moist One has trouble with liquids as he is taken out by a pincer of His Lordship the Duke and MLIT
[18:30 PM] Platymapus disappointed Dr. Talos by Already Being Dead. Ololol.
[18:30 PM] Spork killed Mogulevski
[19:01 PM] Dr. Talos shoots Deniable Iron through Deniable Iron's open window.
[19:05 PM] I found it, give me a job at CERN? Spork killed The Elusive Higg's Boson
[19:45 PM] Duel to the death results in the death of Compo at Dr. Talos's bands
[20:52 PM] Platymapus and One of Ed's broken morris sticks went to a teddy bear's picnic. Platymapus's teddy bear nommed One of Ed's broken morris sticks's head.
[20:55 PM] Garden Party Deaths, Spork killed dust and Son of Sevenless

Monday, 14 June

[01:22 AM] Tithe My Wok was sneaky-sneaky...
[01:57 AM] One of Ed's broken morris sticks found his maker, and his nemesis
[12:00 PM] Wedding shenanigans as The Marquis de Carabas leaves his bride at the altar to fight His Lordship the Duke. He dies and his best man Cassius Chaerea swiftly follows. Spork turns into Schrodinger's Cat.
[13:02 PM] A quick battle between The Paradox's sword and Squirrel Pyrimidal's knife saw both of them dead
[13:45 PM] An Unfortunate escape plan.
[15:52 PM] Hot Crossbow Bunny killed One of Ed's broken morris sticks
[16:25 PM] Hot Crossbow Bunny ambushed Ol' Mother Hubbard but a warning leads to him running away.
[16:34 PM] The Moist One got confused by the Paradox and mutilated a corpse
[17:23 PM] The Fourth Doctor has a healing pint with His Lordship the Duke and Spork
[18:11 PM] The Moist one moistens by surprise
[18:13 PM] Further Moist Treachery...
[18:17 PM] Treachery pays a high price...
[18:30 PM] Lolicks at Selwyn
[18:40 PM] No Use For a Pseudonym fumbled with his keys for too long and got soaked as a result!
[18:50 PM] Rampage at Churchill - casualties are many
[19:45 PM] Dr. Talos and Deniable Iron meet again. Same result, different location.
[20:15 PM] Dr. Talos bumped into Grohlios, A Flemish Flamingo and Dr. Hax as he went for supper.
[21:00 PM] Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] is not a fan of the folk dancing One of Ed's broken morris sticks . Dr. Talos dissected Hot Crossbow Bunny
[21:00 PM] Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] showed that Sting is still sharper than One of Ed's broken morris sticks

Tuesday, 15 June

[05:58 AM] He Man cut off BandMan (a reinterpretation of BeastMan, by J Doe) from road to safety, whilst Skeletor as ever curses his minions
[06:00 AM] Dr. Talos bumped into Grohlios, A Flemish Flamingo and Dr. Hax as he went for breakfast.
[06:00 AM] Platymapus's Supreme Mastery of the Assassins Arts Gentle was not quite enough for Ser Barristan Selmy's Mastery of Pelletdodger Vaapteen
[13:00 PM] Accidentally on purpose.
[13:10 PM] The dude with the CPS on the bike was about 4 metres from being brutally molested by skirmish squad "Codename Chemical Rodent" it at *blurred time*
[13:55 PM] To Butcher the Dan Baker, who better than The Candlestick Maker?
[13:59 PM] Firefight behind the UL - Alicia Danks Daniel O'Brien and Twillo in attendance
[14:10 PM] In a fortuitous laundry run The Moist One made the Noodle soggy
[14:35 PM] Royal Ferret of Comets and Tom Lehrer Professor of Smut essentially invented how to play The Game
[16:00 PM] The candyman attacked The Paradox's boat with Haribo. And water. The Paradox shot back, but ended up mutilating a corpse.
[17:45 PM] In the Navy, you can sail the seven seas, but not if your ship is sunk, as R.C. defeated The Master of the Fleet, but not before The Master of the Fleet had sunk The Flaming Angel of Wrath. R.C. and Mr Bump then destroyed each other.
[17:50 PM] Noodle learned not to carry visible guns
[18:00 PM] Zombie Jigglypuff and Tithe My Wok raid Churchill, killing lots of dudes. Zombie Jigglypuff has more brains to eat.
[18:01 PM] The Moist One took out Doctor Octagonapus on the way to his dinner...
[18:01 PM] Guerrilla Rodent Division Chipmunk Pyrrolidine, Squirrel Pyrimidal sent into Churchill, reperforating 2 dead ones and driving 2 live ones to their Doom upon Mount Pleasant (see other events)
[18:20 PM] No Use For a Pseudonym needs a bigger waterpistol
[18:20 PM] The Moist One met Wxrthltl Jwlpklz but was informed that he was dead, so let him keep his corpse unmutilated.
[18:30 PM] Multiple allegiances tangle as Jason Bjorn, Zombie Jigglypuff and Tithe My Wok come across Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] and Squirrel Pyrimidal. Squirrel Pyrimidal is gunned down by Jason Bjorn and then Tithe My Wok falls to Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)]. Zombie Jigglypuff and Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] do some fighting then some talking. Jason Bjorn watches, amused.
[18:30 PM] Jason Bjorn takes out his 208th assassin, and it appropriately happens to be a cheerleeder, or so her PomPom would suggest. Zombie Jigglypuff and Tithe My Wok happened to be watching.
[18:50 PM] Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. MLIT wins
[19:00 PM] While escaping from one assassin No Use For a Pseudonym gets jumped by three. *Sigh*
[19:45 PM] Jason Bjorn flees the large gun of Dr. Talos as MLIT scatters in a different direction
[21:45 PM] Zombie Jigglypuff raids Clare, but only Compo is in. Bilbo Baggins [Post Eleventy-First Birthday Party: Version 111.1 :)] waits outside.
[22:28 PM] FAIL
[22:30 PM] Revenge: Spork killed The owner of the large rubberised sword.
[22:46 PM] Spork killed Penis-on, he may have already been dead though but I don't know.
[23:15 PM] More carnage at Churchill. Spork killed Limes, Doctor Octagonapus and Salty. Dr. Talos killed Crazy and Noodle survived.

Wednesday, 16 June

[10:55 AM] A not-so-early wake up call
[12:05 PM] The end is Nye!
[12:35 PM] The Moist One killed Crazy and Salty
[12:36 PM] R.C. kills The Master of the Fleet with a rubber band
[13:10 PM] Simian Beard's wok was successfully tithed
[13:28 PM] Squirrel Pyrimidal did a bit of corpse knifing
[14:06 PM] Come to the Assassins Pirate Punting Killing Event 12:00-3:00 Thursday! went to Churchill to "Advertise Piracy", resulting in, among other things, Wxrthltl Jwlpklz, Autoerotic Asphyxiation and Doctor Octagonapus being shot.
[14:06 PM] playing too much Farmville shot Noodle and Limes
[14:06 PM] Come to the Assassins Pirate Punting Killing Event 12:00-3:00 Thursday! went round to advertise Piracy, resulting in, among other things Wxrthltl Jwlpklz, Autoerotic Asphyxiation and Doctor Octagonapus being shot
[14:07 PM] The Fail to get a complete picture set and Amy's dispute with a person in a big queue offed The Grand Marshall of the Elephant Headed Peoples
[14:24 PM] Dr. Hax was out on the prowl, and ran across Nasreddin Hodja, Red Neck, The Fourth Doctor and Professor Monster, and promptly shot them (in that order)
[15:05 PM] Death and Zombie attack in a supermarket, The owner of the large rubberised sword. dies to Squirrel Pyrimidal
[15:10 PM] Tithe My Wok just lost The Game while lurking
[15:32 PM] Death and zombie attack in a supermarket, The owner of the large rubberised sword. dies to Squirrel Pyrimidal
[16:10 PM] R.C. stabs Mr Bump in the garden
[16:13 PM] Come to the Assassins Pirate Punting Killing Event 12:00-3:00 Thursday! went to Churchill to "Advertise Piracy", resulting in, among other things, Wxrthltl Jwlpklz, Autoerotic Asphyxiation and Doctor Octagonapus being shot.
[16:47 PM] The Paradox had such a nice barbecue that he decided not to kill Emile Heskey. No such luck next time though...
[16:52 PM] Warning don't walk in unannounced, though if anyone else wants to... Spork shoots The Elusive Higg's Boson
[17:00 PM] Tonight, two more young Churchillites succumbed to the curse that is playing too much Farmville. This plague must be eradicated!
[18:36 PM] Zombie Jigglypuff goes punting!
[19:50 PM] The Moist One killed The Fail in a bike by...
[20:09 PM] Danae Mercer leaves the game
[20:15 PM] Dr. Talos shot Compo
[20:20 PM] Discussion closed. Red Neck stabs Professor Monster, The Fourth Doctor and Hercule Poirot
[20:30 PM] Uneventful queue lurking for Simian Beard and Teal'c
[20:40 PM] You just lost, The Game. May ball queue + Platymapus = DEATH.
[21:06 PM] The Moist One killed Wxrthltl Jwlpklz
[21:15 PM] Dr. Talos saw the elusive Ol' Mother Hubbard go punting.
[23:00 PM] Tithe My Wok finds a room full of dudes. Carnage ensues.
[23:05 PM] Tithe My Wok finds another room...

Thursday, 17 June

[00:35 AM] The Fail of getting the complete picture set and of having a dispute next to a queue offed The Grand Marshall of the Elephant Headed Peoples
[00:47 AM] Tim Kew invades Daniel O'Brien's room. Again. How original.
[00:59 AM] Noodle kills The Moist One
[02:50 AM] Bored of working Spork goes on an unproductive killing spree, killing The owner of the large rubberised sword. and "dying" to a zombie Doctor Octagonapus
[12:09 PM] Brutus bang killed a sweaty The Fail
[12:40 PM] Dr. Talos does not tolerate imposters. Dr. Hax lost his GP's license.
[13:36 PM] Brutus killed Limes
[15:20 PM] Another tithe is exacted on our glorious former leader.
[16:30 PM] No Use For a Pseudonym trusts in Doctor Octagonapus, the fool.
[16:32 PM] Death at the Senate House! University Constabulary Nonplussed
[16:45 PM] The Master of the Fleet is sunk by an undead pokemon
[16:55 PM] Zombie Jigglypuff forgot to carry a quick-draw CPS. The tithe for this was duly exacted.
[17:55 PM] Dr. Talos refuses to be tithed.
[18:00 PM] Dr. Talos left pirate punting early to kill the punters leaving the area. No pirates were armed.
[18:40 PM] Bambi ran into a rabid animal in town and decided to put Squirrel Pyrimidal down
[18:51 PM] Bambi bamboozled One of Ed's broken morris sticks
[19:05 PM] Bambi decided to Compost Grohlios
[19:16 PM] Hester Thorneycroft is not a car. Dr. Talos killed A Flemish Flamingo
[19:59 PM] Bambi arrived home to find people in his room, so shot The Elusive Higg's Boson
[20:15 PM] More visitors shot, Bambi shots The owner of the large rubberised sword. on the arse as she leaves
[20:30 PM] People need to stop visiting me. The Moist One gets shot

Friday, 18 June

[00:31 AM] The Moist One bang killed The Elusive Higg's Boson
[00:40 AM] Wxrthltl Jwlpklz finds a group of naughty children who haven't paid their tithes
[02:25 AM] Gordon Brown (texture like sun) takes insufficient care upon leaving the UNSPECIFIED June Event, and has his brains eaten. Again.
[10:05 AM] A duel results in another tithe.
[11:30 AM] Roomstorming!
[12:30 PM] Failed balcony raid on Chaaaaaaaarliiiiieeeeeeee by Spork and Tithe My Wok
[13:01 PM] A Flemish Flamingo was randomly at UNSPECIFIED so got shot by Bambi
[13:15 PM] We meet again Bambi, for the last time... Red Neck suprises Bambi
[13:16 PM] Tithe My Wok shoots Red Neck.
[14:00 PM] Dr. Hax's speed is no match for Tithe My Wok's firepower.
[14:15 PM] The fleet is tithed.
[14:20 PM] Mr Bump is bumped off...
[14:42 PM] Dude, I almost forgot to enter a headline - Bambi shoots Super-Happy-Face =D! who 'flamingoes' The Doctor
[14:48 PM] Dont trust those delivering messages; they may also deliver a bullet to the chest
[15:10 PM] Tragedy at Robinson- yet another student falls victim to the deadly effects of playing too much Farmville!
[15:15 PM] It's easter-time for Hot Crossbow Bunny!
[15:30 PM] Zombie Jigglypuff went hunting for Tithe My Wok, but didn't find him. All it wanted was its tithe back...
[15:35 PM] Tithe My Wok seems to have gone Crazy
[15:58 PM] A duel leaves The Moist One exactly that.
[15:59 PM] Ladies and gentlemen...
[16:00 PM] The Game ENDS!

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