The Assassins' Guild

[1 Dec, 12:00 PM] Guess what? Nothing happened today either. Duel tomorrow!

[30 Nov, 12:00 PM] CEASEFIRE. So nothing happened.

New on Tuesday, 30 November

[29 Nov, 20:45 PM] Then, with only a quarter of an hour left until CEASEFIRE, Three of Twelve makes a final, failsome, attempt on The Umpire

[29 Nov, 21:00 PM] The Umpire declares CEASEFIRE

[29 Nov, 20:00 PM] Three of Twelve assimilates Arnold H Rimmer only an hour before CEASEFIRE!

New on Monday, 29 November

[29 Nov, 17:00 PM] The Umpire strikes back!

[28 Nov, 09:45 AM] Captain James T. Kirk doesn't find FreeMuRa on duty.

[29 Nov, 10:00 AM] Three of Twelve goes looking for The Umpire

[28 Nov, 13:45 PM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R does not get the drop on FreeMuRa.

[29 Nov, 10:45 AM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R can't find a Pillow in the morning...

New on Sunday, 28 November

[28 Nov, 15:00 PM] A Dancing Shadow goes on the lookout for Jim Raynor

[28 Nov, 14:15 PM] Two of Nine assimilates Zilvinas Rimas (FreeMuRa), bringing us down to the final 5 players!

[26 Nov, 10:40 AM] A KILLER TOMATO from J. M. Colt's sister finishes off Wounded Nero.

[26 Nov, 23:00 PM] Data is killed by KILLER BRAIN, from J. M. Colt's sister.

[26 Nov, 18:00 PM] J. M. Colt's sister reduces velocity from Half-Impulse, with the help of KILLER BRAIN

[27 Nov, 15:00 PM] Pillow goes looking for T3H 1337 K1LL3R and The Q Contınuum, but sadly neither of them wanted a nap.

[27 Nov, 12:15 PM] Random Strategy actually works against Odo!

[27 Nov, 19:30 PM] Dancing Shadow waits for Death! Undercover... outside [UNSPECIFIED]

[26 Nov, 00:35 AM] The Umpire thunderbolts Daniel O'Brien (The USS Make S**t Up). He knows why.

New on Saturday, 27 November

[25 Nov, 20:00 PM] Head Yeoman J. M. Colt's sister launches an attack on Lt. Cmdr. Simon "Ghost" Riley for being incompetent. And they confuse her with the Borg Queen. Hilarity ensues, and Lt. Jean Rasczak gets killed.

[26 Nov, 18:00 PM] Chocolate and Tea (Tim) Kew go out hunting for Pillow and FreeMuRa. But they only find Two of Nine to talk to...

New on Friday, 26 November

[26 Nov, 19:30 PM] Lt.s Malcolm Reed and B'Elanna Torres look for Dancing Shadow

[26 Nov, 19:00 PM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R goes looking for Death! Undercover...

[26 Nov, 10:45 AM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R can't find a Pillow. Why would he be tired this early in the morning?

[26 Nov, 13:10 PM] Miracle Engineer Montgomery Scott searches for Wounded Saavik and attempts to deal with Half-Impulse, before getting stabbed by Borg Queen. Whilst OOB. Unfortunately, I can't make Borg Queen more corrupt...

New on Thursday, 25 November

[25 Nov, 17:00 PM] Janusz Sikorski is released from Limbo and returned to active duty. Wanted.

[24 Nov, 12:00 PM] Janusz Sikorski is off-limits and in the assassins hospital until further notice.

[24 Nov, 08:00 AM] Early morning kill! Matthew Fitch (Random Strategy) dies, leaving less than 95% of the original players alive.

[25 Nov, 18:00 PM] Fintan's fishy flailing failings... no, wait. Lt. Malcolm Reed (formerly known as Fintan) waits for nearly an hour outside Janusz Sikorski's room.

[24 Nov, 21:20 PM] J. M. Colt's sister redeems herself, slaying Xindi and Ryan William Martin Robinson (Deathwhisper)!

[24 Nov, 20:00 PM] Borg Queen and Two of Nine assimilate Geordi La Forge (THAT never happened in the series) and hunted for Riker, Xindi, Pillow, Deathwhisper and FreeMuRa.

[24 Nov, 18:00 PM] Pillow and FreeMuRa team up to hunt Dancing Shadow and Random Strategy! But they only find Random Strategy's ghost...

[24 Nov, 19:00 PM] J. M. Colt's sister kills Derpderpderp for being inco, taking a step towards redemption!

[24 Nov, 00:00 AM] J. M. Colt's sister kills two innocents. And meets the ghost of Christmas Pas- I mean Premchand Brian.

[24 Nov, 03:30 AM] Chocolate and J. M. Colt's sister look for Pillow and FreeMuRa

[24 Nov, 15:55 PM] Two of Nine slays KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN! For the chocolate.

[23 Nov, 23:00 PM] OPEN SEASON IS DECLARED!

[23 Nov, 22:50 PM] Three of Twelve tries again to off The Umpire.

New on Tuesday, 23 November

[22 Nov, 22:10 PM] Tuvok attempts to claim the bounty on The Umpire's head.

[23 Nov, 17:50 PM] New borg drone Three of Twelve "kills" the hologram Arnold Rimmer

[23 Nov, 13:05 PM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R takes out Premchand Brian (Magos Biologis)

New on Monday, 22 November

[22 Nov, 14:30 PM] The Q Continuum decides that Orange Potatos (Sybille Luhmann) are boring, and removes them from existence.

[22 Nov, 13:40 PM] Random Strategy mulls on the expectation value for Random Strategy whilst looking for Chocolate... As well as startling a local.

[22 Nov, 12:10 PM] Random Strategy wandered around outside Pillow's place of residence, but his target didn't turn up for lunch in that interval. Randomness as usual.

New on Sunday, 21 November

[21 Nov, 16:30 PM] Iota then lurked the home of Pillow, without finding him, for another twenty minutes.

[21 Nov, 16:00 PM] Iota lurked for Deathwhisper, who wasn't in, and waited in his staircase for twenty minutes.

[21 Nov, 15:15 PM] Wheel of Fortune searches for Jim Raynor and Pillow, but finds neither.

[21 Nov, 16:00 PM] FreeMuRa kills The ghost of J. MIA Colt. So... yeah...

[20 Nov, 01:00 AM] One last bounty... on everyone who's been posting bounties.

[20 Nov, 21:55 PM] Madeleine Kasson (The Contessa) is slain by The Q Continuum

[17 Nov, 16:20 PM] Lt. Cmdr. Tuvok kills Guinan. With a sword. Umm... What sort of bizarre cross-over episode is this?

New on Saturday, 20 November

[20 Nov, 09:00 AM] Thanks to The Q Continuum, Maria Francesca O'Connor (R.101010) ceases to exist...

[20 Nov, 14:30 PM] The USS Make S**t Up goes corrupt for (deliberately) killing Will Keen - an innocent - for the sake of An Assimilated Ewok's chocolate. Two of Nine shows up just too late.

[20 Nov, 03:45 AM] Chocolate kills David Clarke (Curly Brace AKA Quote AKA Silent but Deadly) at a painfully early hour.

New on Friday, 19 November

[19 Nov, 14:00 PM] The Borg Queen stabs The Umpire in the shoulder. The Q Continuum looks on.

[19 Nov, 18:00 PM] Oh baby! I want you more than the police want Chris Powell! Apparently Orange Potato and Themselves don't want you back.

[19 Nov, 17:55 PM] Phil Charles (The Jackal's Jackalope Jacket) learns not to bring a knife to a gun-fight. Particularly not against T3H 1337 K1LL3R.

[19 Nov, 16:00 PM] Pillow lurks for R.101010 and Orange Potato, but comes up short.

[18 Nov, 21:30 PM] Lt. Cmdr. Simon "Ghost" Riley and Lt. Jean Rasczak team up with Deathwhisper to hunt Mr. Beverage, FreeMuRa and Two of Nine.

[19 Nov, 00:00 AM] Sophie Reed jumps off the slippery slope into full corruption.

[19 Nov, 15:50 PM] The Jackal's Jackalope Jacket wishes that Dancing Shadow and T3H 1337 K1LL3R were more obvious.

[19 Nov, 13:35 PM] The ghost of J. MIA Colt is not a Citizen Erased... But Andy Hopkinson (Citizen Erased) is.

[19 Nov, 10:00 AM] The Borg Queen watches over as Two of Nine assimilates Tom Durrant (Mr. Beverage)

[18 Nov, 21:30 PM] Sean Tull's corpse is not found by Themselves

[19 Nov, 09:05 AM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R killed Christopher Judge (Themselves)

[18 Nov, 12:45 PM] Lieutenant Saavik is slain by one Mr. Beverage

[18 Nov, 17:30 PM] Borg Assimilator Two of Nine decides to go even more corrupt! After hunting Deathwhisper, FreeMuRa and The Contessa, he attacks Lt. Cmdr. Riker and the Alien Xindi

[18 Nov, 08:30 AM] The Wheel of Fortune cannot locate The Contessa

[17 Nov, 08:20 AM] The Wheel of Fortune spins around Foucault

New on Thursday, 18 November

[18 Nov, 18:45 PM] Random Strategy works with Wheel of Fortune to eliminate Sean Tull (Foucault)

[19 Nov, 02:00 AM] The Umpire has had enough.

[19 Nov, 01:00 AM] And yet another Bounty...

[17 Nov, 20:10 PM] Harrison Bowers (Kiwi Sin) is finally caught by Head Yeoman J. MIA Colt

[17 Nov, 20:15 PM] After killing Michael Sargent (Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons), Head Yeoman J. MIA Colt and Lt. Cmdr. Saavik get into a firefight with Richard Andrew Robinson (Compo). J. MIA Colt is hit...

[18 Nov, 00:00 AM] The bounties really are stacking up now... Another one on the list.

New on Wednesday, 17 November

[17 Nov, 15:00 PM] INCOBASH Mk 3! Which is even less successful than the previous INCOBASHes. *sigh*

[17 Nov, 22:50 PM] Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley speaks off the record...

[17 Nov, 12:00 PM] Random Strategy is decidedly less random than usual. But just as successful.

[18 Nov, 01:00 AM] And *Another* Anonymous bounty. This is getting out of hand.

[16 Nov, 21:40 PM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R may not be so 1337, as he fails to catch either Themselves or FreeMuRa

[17 Nov, 01:00 AM] *Another* bounty. Two in one day, yikes...

[17 Nov, 00:00 AM] Amelia (Amy) Booth is posting a non-anonymous bounty on EVERYONE, including herself.

[16 Nov, 18:00 PM] Captain Kathryn Janeway, Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres and Lieutenant Data (?!) meet up to find The Contessa, but she isn't there.

[16 Nov, 20:30 PM] Constable Odo again goes on the prowl, checking out Daniello of Camden, Compo and Mr. Beverage

[16 Nov, 19:00 PM] Lieutenant Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov comes across a zombified Dominic Carr

[16 Nov, 16:20 PM] Constable Odo hitches a ride with The USS Enterprise [NCC-1701] in an attempt to track down Compo

[15 Nov, 20:10 PM] The World's Expert On Getting Killed (Jonathan French) proves not to be so expert on getting killed, since it took him this long to get killed! Magos Biologis does him in...

[15 Nov, 08:45 AM] The Wheel of Fortune spins again, landing on Daniel James Threlfall's misfortune. (Daniello of Camden AKA Captain Camdan)

[16 Nov, 00:00 AM] Head Yeoman J. MIA Colt and Lieutenant Commander Saavik take Two, no, Three hours to kill Dominic Carr (Two)

New on Monday, 15 November

[15 Nov, 17:30 PM] as lightning flashed across the sky, Hester Thorneycroft was hit by a piano sent at her by Quote.

[15 Nov, 00:00 AM] The Queenie is dead, Long live the Queeny! Queeny hunts both Two and Deathwhisper.

[15 Nov, 15:20 PM] The pendulum swings... But Foucault doesn't find the solution to R.101010

[14 Nov, 17:40 PM] Miracle Engineer Montgomery Scott checks out Queenie and Daniello of Camden

[14 Nov, 18:30 PM] REGICIDE! Jennifer Purcell (Jenni) (Queenie AKA The Deadly Poet's Society) is killed by Professor Moriarty at the end of a long day's hunting.

[12 Nov, 19:30 PM] INCOBASH Mk 2! A *lot* of dudes go out hunting, but only manage one kill: Cormac Doyle (Janitor911)

[14 Nov, 15:00 PM] The Jackal's Jackalope Jacket doesn't find a Dancing Shadow, or T3H 1337 K1LL3R.

[13 Nov, 23:10 PM] as lightning flashed across the sky... or actually just before said lightning, Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons killed Spock. Ah well, he's been dead before...

New on Sunday, 14 November

[12 Nov, 22:20 PM] Despite there being a hoard of them, the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons do not get through to The Russian

[13 Nov, 18:45 PM] Borg Assimilator Two of Nine thought he saw Kiwi Sin, but it was only an innocent. Ah well, corruptness results...

[11 Nov, 22:20 PM] The Russian eludes T3H 1337 K1LL3R

[13 Nov, 13:00 PM] The Wheel of Fortune doesn't end on a Pillow either...

[13 Nov, 09:00 AM] Spin the Wheel of Fortune.... But ultimately, The Contessa does not emerge.

New on Saturday, 13 November

[12 Nov, 00:54 AM] as lightning flashed across the sky the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons checked up on The World's Expert On Getting Killed and some Kiwi Sin, but found neither.

[12 Nov, 20:15 PM] Random Strategy doesn't work when your target is already dead.

[12 Nov, 12:01 PM] The Russian is caught by an eensy weensy teeny weeny yellow psychopath bikini

[11 Nov, 22:45 PM] 5 pieces of Chocolate isn't too much, right? It is for Jack Jackson (5).

New on Thursday, 11 November

[11 Nov, 09:50 AM] It seems that Magos Biologis is on Citizen Erased's list...

[11 Nov, 11:11 AM] 11:11:11:11:11:11... you get the idea. Unfortunately, Pillow didn't actually kill anyone...

[11 Nov, 12:05 PM] Neal Carr (Augustin-Louis Cauchy) is not having a good day. Foucault also stabs him...

[11 Nov, 00:00 AM] Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley's long hunt comes to a disappointing end.

[11 Nov, 11:00 AM] Lt. Arnold Rimmer shoots the corpse of Augustin-Louis Cauchy

[10 Nov, 12:00 PM] Captain Kathryn Janeway, Lieutenant Malcolm Reed and Drone Two of Nine search out the slackers, killing Christopher Pike in the process.

[10 Nov, 19:00 PM] Neal Carr (Augustin-Louis Cauchy) faces down J. M. Colt, and both are killed!

New on Wednesday, 10 November

[10 Nov, 09:40 AM] Bone Marrow's siege of the 1st Earl of Salisbury (Adam Greig) reaches fruition...

[10 Nov, 01:00 AM] Death! Undercover... finds himself insufficiently undercover to take out Amelia (Amy) Booth

[10 Nov, 12:30 PM] With Mr. Beverage's location known, Compo's hunt begins...

[10 Nov, 14:30 PM] FreeMuRa tries a new strategy...

[10 Nov, 13:00 PM] Curly Brace slices up Daniel O'Brien (Matthew Patel)

[10 Nov, 12:30 PM] Magos Biologis watches the competition over The Anvil's corpse.

[9 Nov, 23:00 PM] Christopher Wells (The Anvil) is finally put down by Yeoman J. M. Colt

[9 Nov, 19:00 PM] an eensy weensy teeny weeny yellow psychopath bikini fails to catch Kiwi Sin or Orange Potato. It also fails by shooting an innocent...

[10 Nov, 00:00 AM] Yet *another* anonymous bounty. They are stacking up...

[9 Nov, 15:30 PM] Bone Marrow prepares to siege the 1st Earl of Salisbury

New on Tuesday, 9 November

[9 Nov, 09:00 AM] Nero, the Romulan Psycho, dies in battle with the wanted 1st Earl of Salisbury.

[9 Nov, 08:50 AM] Themselves go hungry, as they can't find an Orange Potato

[9 Nov, 13:55 PM] Drone Two of Nine assimilates the long-wanted Christopher Powell (Malcolm Reynolds AKA CAPTAIN Reynolds)

[9 Nov, 11:10 AM] The Anvil doesn't get dressed up by an eensy weensy teeny weeny yellow psychopath bikini

[9 Nov, 08:50 AM] Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley requests backup.

[8 Nov, 17:00 PM] Captain Camdan lurks for Death! Undercover..., but doesn't find him. Probably because he's undercover...

New on Monday, 8 November

[8 Nov, 14:30 PM] Matthew Patel makes attempts on 1st Earl of Salisbury, Christopher Powell and Orange Potato. But doesn't catch any of them.

[8 Nov, 18:00 PM] James Lester is left with No-Face after attacking Foucault

[7 Nov, 17:00 PM] Silent but Deadly... Or maybe not, as he doesn't kill any of 1st Earl of Salisbury, Themselves, T3H 1337 K1LL3R, Orange Potato or nivwusquorum...

[8 Nov, 08:30 AM] Romulan Psycho, Nero, follows but fails to kill the wanted criminal 1st Earl of Salisbury

[8 Nov, 12:10 PM] Foucault hunts The Anvil but finds it remarkable hard to nail down...

[7 Nov, 21:00 PM] The brave J. M. Colt shoots Szymon Sidor's corpse.

New on Sunday, 7 November

[7 Nov, 21:45 PM] Regicide! or Heresy! or... something... What do you call god-slaying?! Anyway, T3H 1337 K1LL3R proves his 1337ness by killing Saint Sir God (Andrew Rolph).

[6 Nov, 08:00 AM] A Dancing Shadow catches Szymon Sidor (nivwusquorum).

[7 Nov, 17:00 PM] Random Strategy... apparently just doesn't work as a strategy!

[7 Nov, 14:30 PM] Foucault throws off a Spanner in the works...

[7 Nov, 13:00 PM] The Jackal's Jackalope Jacket's subterfuge for nivwusquorum doesn't work...

[7 Nov, 11:00 AM] Someone knocks on the door of Themselves

[7 Nov, 00:00 AM] Since they feel that Thunderbolts are too flashy, The Q Continuum simply make Prashin Jethwa and Sarah MacKichan cease to exist. Just. Like. That.

[5 Nov, 16:10 PM] Kiwi Sin isn't in, Kitty Noone can't be found (and is also dead...) and as lightning flashed across the sky Arthur Savile is also found to be dead. Not a great day's hunting...

[6 Nov, 18:30 PM] Adam Greig gets a bit too paranoid...

[6 Nov, 18:15 PM] Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons are unsuccessful.

[6 Nov, 00:15 AM] Daniel O'Brien was spotted last night with an eensy weensy teeny weeny yellow psychopath bikini

[6 Nov, 12:00 PM] Lieutenant Pavel Andreievich Chekov checks in on a Distant Villain

[6 Nov, 09:00 AM] Daniello of Camden doesn't awaken to R.101010's knock at the door.

New on Saturday, 6 November

[2 Nov, 16:00 PM] No-Face lurks for ages, but doesn't get to kill Foucault.

[26 Oct, 19:30 PM] No-Face doesn't catch Dancing Shadow.

[26 Oct, 16:30 PM] Saavik happens across James Edward Staniforth's walking corpse

[5 Nov, 12:00 PM] Christopher Powell kills Thomas Bytheway (Firefly), getting his final kill needed for redemption! But then he follows it up with accidentally shooting Hugh, and goes straight back on the Wanted list...

[5 Nov, 19:30 PM] nivwusquorum decides not to make an attempt on No-Face. Because it's raining, and he didn't bring a weapon...

[4 Nov, 18:35 PM] Yeoman J. M. Colt tracks down two wayward incos: Vincent Garton (Torquemada AKA Eris, Goddess of Discord) and Arthur Savile (Hassan-i-Sabah) fall.

[3 Nov, 12:00 PM] Lieutenant Saavik kills Stephanie (Steph) Leddington (Kitty Noone)! But she leaves the penguin alive...

New on Friday, 5 November

[4 Nov, 23:30 PM] Our long-term surviving Wanted player gets another visitor! But Christopher Powell still isn't caught by T3H 1337 K1LL3R

[4 Nov, 11:11 AM] Daniello of Camden is not found by a Pillow. Pity, he won't be able to rest in peace...

[3 Nov, 14:00 PM] Compo's luck hasn't changed... Charon goes free.

[4 Nov, 10:40 AM] Magos Biologis is not (yet) a Citizen Erased

[3 Nov, 12:20 PM] Captain Kathryn Janeway takes the freed Borg drone Two of Nine to visit some incos...

[3 Nov, 22:00 PM] Imogen Gold (Charon AKA Feathers McGraw) is assisted across the Styx by J. M. Colt

[2 Nov, 22:05 PM] Zombie Space-Girl and Vicky Roth (Lenn) double kill! Not quite sure how you can double kill with a zombie, but hey...

New on Thursday, 4 November

[3 Nov, 15:15 PM] The Russian strikes back! Shaneil Patel (Mike Octopus) feels his blade...

[3 Nov, 18:00 PM] Death! Undercover... and Yeoman J. M. Colt stake out Christopher Powell.

[3 Nov, 19:00 PM] FreeMuRa has a suspicious conversation...

[4 Nov, 00:00 AM] *Another* anonymous bounty offer...

[3 Nov, 14:00 PM] Bone Marrow can't kill Ainia... because she's already dead.

[3 Nov, 12:45 PM] No-one can find Kitty Noone, not even Magos Biologis...

New on Wednesday, 3 November

[2 Nov, 21:25 PM] Rosalind Cowen (Ainia) discovers that Chocolate can be bad for you. Especially psychopathic Chocolate.

[2 Nov, 14:10 PM] Janitor911 is not found by Themselves.

[2 Nov, 19:00 PM] Lieutenant Commander Tuvok doesn't catch Lenn

[2 Nov, 13:00 PM] Queeny doesn't want you to VOTE FOR CORMAC (or tom will rape you in your sleep) - after all, she is Queeny. So she kills Rajkumar Ram Sarujan (that guy who loves tom a little too much AKA VOTE FOR CORMAC (or tom will rape you in your sleep)).

New on Tuesday, 2 November

[2 Nov, 19:00 PM] Chocolate goes lurking with Death! Undercover...

[1 Nov, 20:30 PM] Augustin-Louis Cauchy makes a killing when Adam Wright (OSmeone AKA Star Wars Kid) shows up

[1 Nov, 13:20 PM] Captain Kathryn Janeway does the rounds.

[2 Nov, 22:00 PM] A bounty is offered...

[2 Nov, 19:00 PM] Captain Kathryn Janeway continues to explore the final frontier.

[2 Nov, 21:55 PM] Worf. Alive because apparently it wasn't a good day to die, after all. Apparently however, today is a good day to die. The Contessa gets him for bearing when he shows up to kill a dead Adam Wright.

[2 Nov, 16:00 PM] The Deadly Poet's Society attempted to kill 1st Earl of Salisbury today...but got writer's block...

[1 Nov, 22:30 PM] Captain Camdan goes hunting with Lieutenants Riker and Geordi La Forge, as well as an alien Xindi. They don't find anyone.

[1 Nov, 18:00 PM] Nero doesn't find Ainia in the dark...

New on Monday, 1 November

[31 Oct, 22:00 PM] Random Strategy navigates the horrors of Halloween, but doesn't catch Kitty Noone.

[31 Oct, 16:30 PM] Despite being Corrupt, Captain Kathryn Janeway still finds time to slay Jessica O'Driscoll-Breen (ODB)

[1 Nov, 13:30 PM] The Anvil is poetic in the face of danger.

[31 Oct, 00:15 AM] that guy who loves tom a little too much apparently doesn't love Stephen Kerr (Skurge) enough.

[31 Oct, 16:00 PM] Christopher David Arran (The Watermelon Man) is splattered as he attacks Foucault

New on Sunday, 31 October

[31 Oct, 10:30 AM] Charon does not succumb to Deathwhisper...

[30 Oct, 08:30 AM] Christopher Powell kills Andrew Witty (Mandlebrot). With a Portal reference. But no cake...

[30 Oct, 14:15 PM] I REALLY wish the Umpire was more inventive... but not as much as I wish that R.101010 hadn't killed me.

[31 Oct, 21:00 PM] The World's Expert On Getting Killed attempts to enact justice on The Russian

[31 Oct, 15:40 PM] nivwusquorum is not disturbed by a Spanner

[31 Oct, 01:15 AM] Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons makes an early attempt on Torquemada

[31 Oct, 12:30 PM] The Jackal's Jackalope Jacket hunted Mike Octopus and Skurge, but no opportunities for frenzied stabbing presented themselves. :(

[29 Oct, 23:00 PM] Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley dresses up to slay Alexander Lanz Johnson (William II de Ferrers)

New on Saturday, 30 October

[30 Oct, 00:00 AM] Admiral James T. Kirk gets a demotion to Captain James T. Kirk. Just because.

[28 Oct, 12:10 PM] Sally Higson (Ninja Yodeller) opens the door to meet Dancing Shadow. And Captain Kathryn Janeway goes corrupt...

[30 Oct, 16:30 PM] Random Strategy attempted to assassinate Kitty Noone

[29 Oct, 00:15 AM] Matthew Patel kills the Chief campaigner to make the licky bit on envelopes different flavours (Edward C West)

[27 Oct, 11:25 AM] The Russian kills an innocent instead of The World's Expert On Getting Killed (which really shouldn't be an easily made mistake) and goes Wanted!

[29 Oct, 20:30 PM] nivwusquorum still can't find No-Face

[29 Oct, 10:15 AM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R can't bypass the locked doors of Themselves and Christopher Powell...

[28 Oct, 12:15 PM] Citizen Erased finally erases Gavin Tapsfield (Hobson AKA Tyrael)

New on Friday, 29 October

[27 Oct, 21:15 PM] Daniello of Camden shoots Peter E Conn (Felix Haukner) by the river...

[28 Oct, 19:50 PM] Curly Brace claims yet another victim - the inco Aaron Miles (Mike Schmornoff)

[24 Oct, 14:00 PM] The INCOBASH starts!

[28 Oct, 18:20 PM] Unknown Yellow-Uniformed Ensign: Clearly For The Chop fires Oliver (Ollie) Bartlett (Quantum Snail) for slacking on the job...

[28 Oct, 12:15 PM] Pillow is suitably discreet when hunting Saint Sir God

[28 Oct, 15:10 PM] Magos Biologis can't track down his inco prey...

[28 Oct, 12:00 PM] Dancing Shadow kills Nathan Wilson (Shortie). With Epic music. (The Jaws theme)

[28 Oct, 11:45 AM] Thick wood, bolts and "out to lunch" again saves Charon from Compo's advances!

[27 Oct, 22:00 PM] FreeMuRa doesn't quite reach Queenie

[27 Oct, 15:30 PM] John Samuel Cockton (Sam) (Funka) is killed by The Deadly Poet's Society

New on Wednesday, 27 October

[27 Oct, 20:00 PM] The Russian goes hunting...

[25 Oct, 16:30 PM] After a heated battle, Dancing Shadow slays Brook Roberts (Goban of death)

[27 Oct, 00:10 AM] People, please don't go bearing without good reason. Chocolate kills Matthew Hinks (Jeremy Brackett) for exactly that mistake...

[26 Oct, 21:00 PM] Death! Undercover... is seemingly no longer undercover, as he teams up with Admiral James T. Kirk to hunt down incos. Matt Green (Ice Ice Baby), Tim Lui (onoffon) and Oisin Huhn (Gypsy King) bite the dust...

[26 Oct, 12:00 PM] Curly Brace has killed The One (Hassan 'The Hus' Shakeel)! I thought that was Smith's job...

[27 Oct, 16:45 PM] Matthew Patel goes out to hunt, but only finds a suspicious individual.

[26 Oct, 12:00 PM] Kitty Noone's penguin claims another victim - Sebastian Day (Red Squirrel)

[27 Oct, 12:45 PM] Hobson continues to avoid being a Citizen Erased.

[25 Oct, 10:15 AM] Captain Camdan works with Lieutenants Riker and Geordi La Forge to kill the inco James Edward Staniforth (Thoughtfox), as well as getting his own target, Joaquim d'Souza (T-Pain).

[25 Oct, 21:00 PM] Yeoman J. M. Colt goes on a killing spree. Amrit Khosa (SHER KHAN), Lee Graham (FluorescentPig) and Siddharth Mishra (Feynman) lose out...

[24 Oct, 18:00 PM] INCOBASH! Nobody wanted any Chocolate...

[25 Oct, 17:00 PM] OSmeone killed Lucia Corsini (Blackdragon)

[26 Oct, 05:30 AM] Charon comes for the already dead Brook Roberts...

[26 Oct, 13:30 PM] Hobson's twin brother retreats through Hobson's passage.

[26 Oct, 15:00 PM] Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons does the rounds on The Contessa and Torquemada. Again.

[25 Oct, 17:00 PM] Data and Ninja Yodeller go hunting with Death! Undercover...

[24 Oct, 22:35 PM] Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley is off duty when suddenly, in a flash of light he kills a zombie.

[24 Oct, 22:35 PM] Dancing Shadow finds that too many people are already dead...

[23 Oct, 18:00 PM] Chris Hands (Bubble) gives out lessons to aspiring assassins, based on his own experiences with Dancing Shadow

[22 Oct, 08:30 AM] Dancing Shadow receives an unknown guest...

[22 Oct, 22:00 PM] Alex Fudge (Dexter (Morgan)) attempts to kill Dancing Shadow. It doesn't work too well...

[24 Oct, 16:30 PM] INCOBASH! Lieutenant Jean-Luc Picard brings down Fred Maynard (Tarquin)

[26 Oct, 11:05 AM] The Worf effect holds true... onoffon kills Han Yan.

New on Tuesday, 26 October

[25 Oct, 09:50 AM] Admiral James T. Kirk stops the Romulan pirate, Charlie Collins (Local Hero)

[24 Oct, 18:00 PM] Admiral James T. Kirk reflects on a day's INCOBASH!ing...

[24 Oct, 19:30 PM] INCOBASH! The Goban of death lures Hikaru Sulu to his doom...

[25 Oct, 18:15 PM] Somebody call the RSPCA! Foucault kills The Peculiar Albatross (Stephen Hobbs)..

[24 Oct, 19:00 PM] Attempted INCOBASH! Dancing Shadow kills Fred Maynard, only to find that he's already dead.

[24 Oct, 22:30 PM] INCOBASH! Chris Terry was in the bar when suddenly, in a flash of light he was killed by Deathwhisper

New on Monday, 25 October

[24 Oct, 14:30 PM] Black Shadow is very helpful...

[24 Oct, 17:30 PM] INCOBASH! The Contessa scares away the police!

[24 Oct, 17:30 PM] INCOBASH! David Chunyin Li (Davyboi) suffers Death! Undercover...

[24 Oct, 19:45 PM] INCOBASH! Mr. Beverage stabs Renate Mckenzie-Onah (polka)

[24 Oct, 21:30 PM] INCOBASH! Lieutenant Commander Tuvok makes a tactical withdrawal.

[24 Oct, 15:30 PM] INCOBASH! William Hayes (Badminton Bob) puts up a fight, but ultimately loses to the mighty KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

[24 Oct, 19:20 PM] INCOBASH! The Jackal's Jackalope Jacket decides that times up for Roseanna Pendlebury (Teatime)

[24 Oct, 14:35 PM] Daniel Baker (Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way) and The Watermelon Man's duel doesn't go well. Not for Daniel Baker anyway...

[24 Oct, 15:30 PM] INCOBASH! Christopher Powell has another announcement to make...

[22 Oct, 22:00 PM] Deathwhisper finds jumping difficult...

New on Sunday, 24 October

[23 Oct, 12:00 PM] Mike Octopus kills The White Eagle (Alexander (Alex) James Everard Palmer)

[21 Oct, 10:15 AM] The ALMOST death of Jeremy Brackett...

[23 Oct, 15:00 PM] Ninja Yodeller shoots the ghost of Alexander (Alex) James Everard Palmer

New on Saturday, 23 October

[22 Oct, 21:20 PM] Andrew (Andy) Graham Marsh (Daniel Cadbury) is slain by Ainia

[22 Oct, 22:00 PM] Two and 5 have an eventful meeting.

[22 Oct, 13:20 PM] Magos Biologis breaks Juliet Griffin (Griddlebone)

[22 Oct, 20:00 PM] Christopher Walsh (Josh Groban) attacks, and kills, Weiye Yang (Don't Panic), but then gets killed himself by Mr. Beverage.

[22 Oct, 22:00 PM] Fintan's fishy flailings finally finish. Curly Brace kills Richard Tunnard.

[21 Oct, 12:00 PM] Curly Brace kills James Kilbane (Sithis)

[22 Oct, 08:40 AM] Mark Brown (Luminara AKA Sicarion) is caught in the shower by a Blackdragon.

[21 Oct, 22:00 PM] The commoner, Kiwi Sin, scars but does not kill William II de Ferrers.

[22 Oct, 21:30 PM] Ninja Yodeller attempts to stop R.101010

New on Friday, 22 October

[22 Oct, 16:20 PM] Funka could not be found today even by Themselves

[22 Oct, 17:50 PM] The Jackal's Jackalope Jacket avoids incompetency by hunting Thoughtfox and Jambon.

[22 Oct, 20:15 PM] Charon escorts Zoe Asquith (Feanor) to Hades.

[22 Oct, 18:30 PM] The Anvil plays Cluedo, trying Red Squirrel, in his bedroom, with the rbg. Unfortunately, the location was wrong.

[22 Oct, 19:00 PM] The Watermelon Man and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way organise a Duel...

[22 Oct, 18:00 PM] Karandeep Nandra (Marshal) is killed by Kiwi Sin

[22 Oct, 18:30 PM] nivwusquorum can't find his target. Probably because he has No-Face.

[22 Oct, 05:30 AM] Daniel Cadbury cannot find The Anvil

[22 Oct, 15:00 PM] Dan MacSwiney (The Swine) died as lightning flashed across the sky.

[22 Oct, 14:25 PM] Matthew Patel takes a tour around various colleges...

[22 Oct, 12:15 PM] T3H 1337 K1LL3R cannot find the Citizen Erased

[22 Oct, 13:30 PM] A ninja-Pillow can't catch The Watermelon Man

[21 Oct, 22:08 PM] HelpImTrappedInAPseudonymFactory. Not any more... Skurge sets Benjamin (Ben) James Webb free-ish.

[22 Oct, 13:31 PM] Fishy Fintan fights for freedom against Fenris (Didrik Drydal), and wins.

[22 Oct, 12:59 PM] Further Fishy Failings For Fintan

[21 Oct, 18:00 PM] I REALLY wish the Umpire was more inventive... but I'm glad that I killed Bijan Yazdanian (the box). With Bird flu.

[21 Oct, 12:00 PM] that guy who loves tom a little too much is not found by Death! Undercover...

[21 Oct, 16:00 PM] The Anvil doesn't land on Griddlebone or Firefly.

[20 Oct, 20:00 PM] I'm sure that its said somewhere that "There are no Mafias in Cambridge"... 1st Earl of Salisbury, Hannah McLaughlin (Shirayuki) and Foucault go hunting, but Hannah McLaughlin loses her life in the process. Richard Perez-Storey (The Spaniard) is slain, but Ice Ice Baby and polka remain unharmed...

[20 Oct, 19:50 PM] Lieutenant Chakotay attempts to reign in Christopher Powell, but gets killed for his efforts.

[21 Oct, 23:30 PM] Queenie makes the Mammoth (Britta Tarvis) extinct.

[21 Oct, 08:17 AM] The One terminated Nick Chambers (Cyrus)

[21 Oct, 10:25 AM] Josh Radvan (I wish that the Umpire had thought of a better pseudonym...) probably also wishes that Kitty Noone's penguin was a little more friendly...

[20 Oct, 19:25 PM] Martin Chan (Nerd slayer) lets his guard down and gets slain by Mike Octopus. Wielding a sword.

[21 Oct, 20:30 PM] Forbes Peter Francis Lindesay (Tuskan360) is distracted by texting. Felix Haukner takes advantage...

[21 Oct, 21:30 PM] Edward Saban (Caboose) fails to be sneaky-sneaky, and gets killed by Kiwi Sin for his efforts.

[21 Oct, 05:45 AM] Daniel Thomas (Socks with Sandals) is brutally stabbed in his apartment by FreeMuRa.

[21 Oct, 18:00 PM] Mission Accomplished! Major Lenn removes enemy unit Paul Rubenstein (THE FLEA)

[21 Oct, 13:00 PM] The 1st Earl of Salisbury leaves Sandhya Sreekumar (Mr H Quin) lying in the dust...

[22 Oct, 00:00 AM] The Q Continuum opens up and swallows Karol Jaworski (Krollski) whole.

[20 Oct, 17:00 PM] Don't Panic! James Nicholas Lane (Jambon) is only dead... Mr. Beverage helps out.

New on Thursday, 21 October

[20 Oct, 16:00 PM] Dancing Shadow comes to claim Jeff Carpenter (Shluf)

[20 Oct, 19:45 PM] Compo hunts down his ferrets, only to discover they'd fled up a trouser leg! Also, Charon made a narrow escape.

[19 Oct, 12:00 PM] Richard Hine's (Prof. Pestilence) thesis of death reaches its inevitable conclusion with the help of HelpImTrappedInAPseudonymFactory, but not before he runs an experiment on Peter A. Jones (Ron Hitler-Barassi).

[20 Oct, 21:30 PM] Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons hunted I REALLY wish the Umpire was more inventive... and Inquisitor Torquemada, the former nowhere to be seen and the latter too well defended

[20 Oct, 19:50 PM] Daniello of Camden slays Daniel Singarajah (alce)

[20 Oct, 15:30 PM] ODB attacks The Peculiar Albatross, but forgets to bring a weapon! As The Peculiar Albatross is unarmed as well, they go their separate ways...

[20 Oct, 23:58 PM] OSmeone kills Emily Smith (12). With a lightsabre.

New on Wednesday, 20 October

[20 Oct, 16:00 PM] No-Face finds No-One

[20 Oct, 13:00 PM] Laurie Griffiths (Cockblock Brock) is brought down by Curly Brace.

[20 Oct, 16:00 PM] A Curly Brace deals with the Antipasto (Thomas 'Tom' Hillsdon)

[20 Oct, 16:45 PM] Christopher Powell has an announcement to make...

[20 Oct, 15:00 PM] Why don't people want Chocolate...

[20 Oct, 13:05 PM] Fintan's fishy flailing is failsome once again.

[20 Oct, 13:00 PM] Hobson is also not a Citizen Erased

[20 Oct, 11:55 AM] Don't Panic still isn't a Citizen Erased

[20 Oct, 11:00 AM] William II de Ferrers conquers Robert Barry's (Jiggly Puff) fortress.

[19 Oct, 19:30 PM] Tyrael gets tactical on Alex Ronaldson (Verminator)...

[19 Oct, 21:00 PM] Mammoth has an unsuccessful day's hunting. Hang on, weren't Mammoths vegetarian?

[20 Oct, 09:00 AM] The Q Continuum strikes again! Q (Michael Neururer) is forced to rejoin them...

New on Tuesday, 19 October

[19 Oct, 19:00 PM] Red Squirrel goes a-hunting.

[18 Oct, 18:55 PM] Daniello of Camden eliminates Michael Armstrong (mickya)

[19 Oct, 16:00 PM] The Chief campaigner to make the licky bit on envelopes different flavours fails to get Janitor911 to listen to his proposal...

[19 Oct, 21:00 PM] The Q Continuum deems David Turner (Master of Ceremonies) insufficient, and removes him from the game.

[19 Oct, 18:30 PM] Double kill! Jack Mills (Grado) kills Thomas Clausen (Sealion), but Thomas Clausen lashes out in his last moment!

[18 Oct, 13:54 PM] Another corpse-kill! Hobson gives Tomas Kesek a seeing to...

[19 Oct, 17:25 PM] The Russian determines whether bullets work against the undead, by testing them on Jessica (Jesse) Daley (Zombie Girl)

[19 Oct, 16:45 PM] The Master of Ceremonies defeats Nicholas John Caldwell (Nick) (RedsCi22)

[19 Oct, 13:00 PM] Janitor911 tames Craig Slade (Demonic Fury)

[19 Oct, 13:30 PM] Jeremy Brackett eats a TOASTIE (Hugh Collins)

[18 Oct, 22:30 PM] Subtleties within subtleties! Anna Ermakova (CuriousFox) shoots down Charles Board (Carolus), but in doing so, she reveals herself to Griddlebone who proceeds to cut her down!

[19 Oct, 13:20 PM] Christopher Powell kills Frankie Robertson (I am Dead.) under the mistaken belief that Frankie Robertson was targeting him, and then kills an innocent. Oh. Dear.

[18 Oct, 22:15 PM] Reuven Shirazi (Gonorrhea) wanders around whilst bearing, and gets killed by Luminara for his trouble.

[18 Oct, 19:45 PM] The Bandit (Nabodit 'Naz' Paudyal) is slain whilst attempting to kill Funka!

New on Monday, 18 October

[18 Oct, 14:15 PM] Dancing Shadow invades Daniel (Dan) Ivtsan's (Mossad) stronghold.

[18 Oct, 19:00 PM] Unfortunately, Random Strategy doesn't work against password locks...

[17 Oct, 16:30 PM] Funka is outsmarted by a Mammoth's door.

[18 Oct, 17:15 PM] Eris, Goddess of Discord descends from the heavens to remove Freddie Tapner (Tapdog)

[17 Oct, 22:10 PM] Mr H Quin brings down William (Will) Richard Ouldridge (homunculus2000)

[17 Oct, 19:30 PM] Arathi Ramachandran (Prof. Moriarty) is sent to the underworld by Charon.

[18 Oct, 11:10 AM] Captain Kathryn Janeway and Lieutenant Commander Tuvok search the sector for Wanted criminals, but find none.

[17 Oct, 23:00 PM] A Shadowy figure has a narrow escape!

[17 Oct, 20:10 PM] Crocodile Dunedin (Aneurin John (Nye) Redman-White) is dead! Janitor911, brings his end...

[18 Oct, 15:20 PM] T-Pain brings the pain to Tom Reynolds (Shadowy figure)

[18 Oct, 13:25 PM] Lieutenant Pavel Andreievich Chekov brings Robert May-Miller (The Dandy Highwayman) to justice...

[18 Oct, 13:02 PM] Fintan's fishy prowlings prove uneventful...

[17 Oct, 19:30 PM] Shadowy figure goes on an unsuccessful hunt

[17 Oct, 20:00 PM] This corpse killing is becoming habitual. Deathwhisper joins in the fun...

[17 Oct, 19:45 PM] Daniel (Dan) Ivtsan (Mossad) fails to read the OOB rules and goes Wanted...

[17 Oct, 19:30 PM] The third person targeting Alex Guttenplan finds himself killing a corpse...

[17 Oct, 18:30 PM] Carnage outside hall at [UNSPECIFIED-COLLEGE]! Alex Guttenplan (Mack the Kife) kills James Glanville (Carmichael), who wasn't targeting him, and then Robert May-Miller kills Alex Guttenplan (Mack the Kife) and his room-mate, going Wanted!

[17 Oct, 17:40 PM] that guy who loves tom a little too much kills Owen Hicks (Goldenboy) as Shadowy figure looks on.

[17 Oct, 15:30 PM] Alec Barns-Graham (32174118) runs out of numbers as he is slain by a Shadowy figure.

[17 Oct, 13:45 PM] The Royal Hunt continues! Queenie still can't catch The Bandit, but slays Callum Picken (Farmer Giles) instead.

[16 Oct, 22:40 PM] Don't Panic is not a Citizen Erased

[16 Oct, 18:30 PM] The Governor-General (who is completely unrelated to The Umpire. Honest.) sends Crocodile Dunedin on a wild goose chase after Charon.

[16 Oct, 18:00 PM] Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Inquisitor Torquemada works with Nerd slayer to slay Adam Kirton (The Heoruwearg), Euan Davies (I wish I hadn't forced the Umpire to make up my Pseudonym...), and William Letton (Louis Phenex). 1st Earl of Salisbury survives the purge.

[16 Oct, 17:30 PM] The Dandy Highwayman and Carmichael fail to hold up Mack the Kife.

[16 Oct, 15:00 PM] Emily Room (Captain Haggis) attacks Don't Panic who doesn't panic and kills her instead.

[16 Oct, 10:50 AM] Queenie goes on a royal hunt, claiming the lives of both Jonathon (Jon) Dean (August Raymond) and Eileen Wagner (Trillian), but failing to find The Bandit.

[17 Oct, 19:00 PM] Sealion attempts thrice to catch Alex Guttenplan. Pity that he's already dead...

[17 Oct, 17:30 PM] Saint Sir God makes the Pink elephant (Tomas Kesek) a little more endangered.

[17 Oct, 15:00 PM] A Shadowy figure's target remains at large... The Swine...

[16 Oct, 23:45 PM] Die Hard! Duncan Goudie (H. Gruber) loses a fight with a Pillow

[16 Oct, 21:00 PM] Great Zeus! The Marshal takes down Jonathan Bootle (The Olympian).

[16 Oct, 11:05 AM] Carolus Snatches Kyriakos Flouris' (Snatch) life

New on Saturday, 16 October

[16 Oct, 09:30 AM] First Blood! Feanor journeys through the land to slay David Pennefather (Phenix).

[16 Oct, 08:50 AM] First Blo- No, wait... The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons fails to find the Master of Ceremonies...

The Assassins' Guild - Updates

New on Friday, 3 December

New on Wednesday, 1 December