The Assassins' Guild - Stats| Position | Real Name | Pseudonym | Number of Kills | Conkers Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Adam Guterres | Raspberry Skelter AKA The Tittering Machine AKA Rave Blue World AKA Apollo's Hum AKA Luigi | 9 | 37 |
| 2 | Christopher Powell | Mario AKA GLaDOS Mk. II | 3 | 4 |
| 3 | Sophie Reed | Stilgar AKA The Borg AKA Bambi | 5 | 6 |
| 4 | David Turner | Professor of love | 1 | 2 |
| 5 | Alicia Danks | The ASNaC | 0 | 0 |
| 6 | Matthew Hinks | Door2Door Salesman AKA The Thing That Should Not Be | 3 | 9 |
| 7 | John Jacob Pardo | Tristan Maxwell | 2 | 3 |
| 8 | Hester Thorneycroft | Anne Bonney | 1 | 1 |
| 9 | Ashley Chadwick | The Betrayed | 0 | 0 |
| 9 | Sean Tull | Pope Gregory IX | 3 | 4 |
| 11 | Julian Willis | Binary Assassin AKA Death By Numbers | 2 | 2 |
| 12 | Christopher Milligan | Street savoir-faire | 0 | 0 |
| 13 | Mark Pendar-Bare | The Friendly Ninja | 2 | 4 |
| 13 | Johannes Knebel | Dergeilehase | 1 | 3 |
| 15 | Isaac Joseph | "That One Guy" | 0 | 0 |
| 16 | Christopher Judge | Baron of bunny | 0 | 0 |
| 17 | Simon Taylor | Pappus | 0 | 0 |
| 18 | Hannah Philpott | H.E.L.P. | 0 | 0 |
| 19 | Alex Guttenplan | Osaka Seafood Concern AKA Labrys | 2 | 2 |
| 20 | Justin Esau | Knives | 1 | 1 |
| 21 | Elizabeth (Liz) Ing-Simmons | Septima | 1 | 1 |
| 22 | Richard Hall | FYI I am a Spy | 0 | 0 |
| 23 | Daniel O'Brien | Charlie - "I have no need of a pseudonym cos, while I am not going wanted, I will likely die to some very lame crossfire on the first Incobash" - the Unicorn | 0 | 0 |
| 24 | Pip Ash | Judge Dread | 1 | 1 |
| 25 | Foysol Miah | HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! | 0 | 0 |
| 26 | Adam Greig | Cecil Roberts | 1 | 1 |
| 27 | Brook Roberts | Om nom nom nom | 0 | 0 |
| 28 | Peter Jones | Moby Dickhead | 0 | 0 |
| 29 | Michael Williamson | Grey Squirrel | 0 | 0 |
| 30 | Philip Hubbard | Dr Dinosaur | 0 | 0 |
| 31 | Esther Nicoll | Magumbo | 0 | 0 |
| 32 | Eugene Geidelberg | Michelangelo | 0 | 0 |
| 32 | James Hay | Leonardo | 0 | 0 |
| 34 | Alex Lodge | Drunken Phantom | 0 | 0 |
| 35 | Lise McNally | S.a.l.o | 0 | 0 |
| 36 | David Marc Jones | The Manic Moleman | 0 | 0 |
| 37 | Michael Sargent | Mr. About-four-o'clock-in-the-afternoon AKA The Littlest Dictator | 2 | 2 |
| 38 | Richard Cole | Peter Sutcliffe | 0 | 0 |
| 39 | Harry Robinson | Colonel Mustard | 0 | 0 |
| 40 | Duncan Goudie | BARON HUMBUCK | 1 | 1 |
| 41 | Robert Sullivan | The Haiku Murderer | 0 | 0 |
| 42 | Jack William Mathew Jackson | Scubbo | 0 | 0 |
| 43 | Dominic Carr | The [UNSPECIFIED COLLEGE] Mafia Mascot | 0 | 0 |
| 44 | James Tiffin | PimpSlap | 1 | 1 |
| 45 | Sally Higson | The Expunger | 0 | 0 |
| 46 | Simon Holroyd | Raphael | 0 | 0 |
| 47 | Richard Tunnard | 'Thunderchild' | 0 | 0 |
| 48 | Joe Reed | How's that for Danger Close? | 0 | 0 |
| 48 | Tom Duncan | nocturnal duck AKA Suspicious cat | 2 | 2 |
| 50 | Ed Phillips | Bruno | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Andrew Edgar | The Radio Star | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Paul Tinton | Shouldn't have asked the Umpire to make up a pseudonym for her | 1 | 2 |
| 50 | Michael Darling | Pyrimidine | 1 | 1 |
| 50 | Edward C. West | 5-6-7. assassin-8. you will never reach 9 | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Christopher Wells | GLaDOS | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Philippe Ayache | Philippeflop | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Joanna McGowan | Jobi | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Timothy Kew | A disembodied soul. | 1 | 2 |
| 50 | Aneurin "Nye" Redman-White | The gentleman with the thistle-down hair | 1 | 1 |
| 60 | Helen Thorpe | The Scorpion Princess | 0 | 0 |
| 61 | Neal Carr | Barry Scott | 0 | 0 |
| 62 | Jefferson Hayden Carpenter | Shluf | 0 | 0 |
| 63 | David John Frederick Brooks | 'Big Dave' | 0 | 0 |
| 64 | William Turner | Donatello | 0 | 0 |
| 65 | Thomas Alexander | Dan Gleeballs | 1 | 1 |
| 66 | Nathan James | Tardigrade | 0 | 0 |
| 67 | William Keen | The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal | 0 | 0 |
| 68 | James Hardman | Fear the Reaper | 0 | 0 |
| 69 | Dan Baker | Jules Winnfield | 0 | 0 |
| 70 | Peter William Hatfield | Mr Moore | 0 | 0 |
| 71 | Aaron Miles | Ted E. Baer | 0 | 0 |
| 72 | James Shaw | Pierre Dubois | 0 | 0 |
| 73 | Colin McSwiggen | Cosmc | 0 | 0 |
| 74 | Premchand Brian | bah | 0 | 0 |
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