The Assassins' Guild

[19 Jun, 17:45 PM] Platypus shot E for Brick but was shot by The Nose of Sauron. J for Vendetta killed The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head

[19 Jun, 16:40 PM] Christopher Powell should vary his defence strategy a bit more...

[19 Jun, 15:30 PM] the Cauchy Distribution agreed to a truce with less than four hours left of the game, The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head thought this was hilarious.

[19 Jun, 15:30 PM] C for Miles, A for 'Orses and Augustus the Cat were lax in their post-pirating conversations. The Nose of Sauron and Comin atcha like a three-letter-acronym showed their true pirateyness by cutting their throats, albeit with much jolliness and rum swigging.

[19 Jun, 15:15 PM] Amy Booth and George Davies exchange shots

[19 Jun, 15:10 PM] Don't say you weren't warned! An Omega Flare tears Newnham asunder, parting the bodies and souls of Jingle Bella and Lady of the Cake

[19 Jun, 15:08 PM] Chandler mews stabbed Pollux Castlerock in the back

[19 Jun, 14:37 PM] The Duke took out Shrike and narrowly avoided shooting his much hairier guest

[19 Jun, 14:35 PM] The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head crossed paths with Chloroform Tea whilst heading to their respective subjects' garden parties; as the latter was encumbered by a large bag, The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head was victorious.

[19 Jun, 14:00 PM] Surprisingly, an Omega Flare can strike anywhere or everywhere.

[19 Jun, 12:30 PM] de stiekemerd shot A non-player

[19 Jun, 12:20 PM] Byrhtnoth seems to be making a habit of dying embarrassingly soon every time she makes a kill - this time cornered by J for Vendetta in a very fetching pirate hat.

[19 Jun, 12:10 PM] I'd like to claim this RBG on second home allowances please on his way to shoot tourists encountered a heavily-armed Platypus.

[19 Jun, 12:00 PM] Yarr! Pirate punting happened! Avarrrrst me hearties!

[19 Jun, 11:00 AM] Snap, Crackle and POW! made Gareth Tear (Gaz) cry

[18 Jun, 23:15 PM] Don't touch sandvich and A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony proved the proverb: when an assassin is tired of looking around corners for shifty looking fellows with large water guns, he is tired of life. The Nose of Sauron was the shifty.

[18 Jun, 23:14 PM] Assassins + leaving a dance at the same time = Dead Assassins. Shiroi Ryu kills Jingle Bella before falling to A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony.

[18 Jun, 22:45 PM] Matt Hickford snuck up on The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head and said 'stab', but alas, Matt Hickford has a weapon.

[18 Jun, 20:35 PM] de stiekemerd got the Platypus wet :(

[18 Jun, 20:34 PM] Platypus turns out not to be extinct after all, much to the dismay of Comin atcha like a three-letter-acronym!

[18 Jun, 20:30 PM] A for 'Orses fails to evade fire from Cakeface!

[18 Jun, 20:30 PM] J for Vendetta brutally murdered Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis

[18 Jun, 20:25 PM] Fighting in the dance hall! Cakeface and C for Miles duke it out georgian-style.

[18 Jun, 20:15 PM] The Duke discovered that once you pop, you indeed can't stop, and bang-killed Pringles again

[18 Jun, 19:15 PM] Snap, Crackle and POW! is more of a dog-person really. Augustus the Cat is no more.

[18 Jun, 18:53 PM] Meng Li shot Amy Booth

[18 Jun, 18:45 PM] Cakeface dusts off A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony!

[18 Jun, 18:45 PM] The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head comes to hall expecting food and shelter, but unfortunately for him, not the Cauchy Distribution

[18 Jun, 18:15 PM] Simian Bird was travelling across town, and not expecting the Cauchy Distribution

[18 Jun, 17:50 PM] D for Ential knocked on The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head's door un-armed; needless to say, he died.

[18 Jun, 16:49 PM] om nom nom! Cakeface and icecream with ChiliNinja and Surprisingly!

[18 Jun, 16:15 PM] The Nose of Sauron was last seen sniffing a line, and enjoying A Hint of Nostalgia!

[18 Jun, 16:05 PM] The Duchess and The Duke sneaked up behind B for Mutton and shot him again in the Union Garden Party

[18 Jun, 15:30 PM] Cakeface can't spell... but can epic fail, to the amusement of A for 'Orses

[18 Jun, 15:05 PM] The Duke really does like his cake, although he seems to be sticking with Lady of the Cake... watch out, all other cakes, he might om nom nom you too! :P

[18 Jun, 13:57 PM] Simian Bird was distracted by delicious ice-cream long enough for The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head to sneak up behind him; it was probably worth it.

[18 Jun, 13:45 PM] the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! spots the Cauchy Distribution in town, killing him with A Hint of Nostalgia

[18 Jun, 12:45 PM] The Duke is hungry, so he stops by the market square and eats some Pringles

[18 Jun, 12:20 PM] Platypus is suddenly extinct, after an inquisition from The Nose of Sauron!

[18 Jun, 12:15 PM] The Duke out-thesps I'd like to claim this RBG on second home allowances please

[18 Jun, 02:30 AM] Chaos at Post Party!! Chloroform Tea shoots E for Brick only for A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony to kill her and The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head.

[17 Jun, 23:00 PM] Omega Flares do not discriminate, and blast their way through everyone, even That man over there who doesn't look at all shifty, suspicious or assassin-like

[17 Jun, 22:50 PM] Chloroform Tea sneaked up on B for Mutton and gunned him down

[17 Jun, 20:20 PM] D for Ential left his window open, The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head came visiting.

[17 Jun, 18:04 PM] The Nose of Sauron unleashed his wrath upon the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! but was suddenly overcome by A Hint of Nostalgia.

[17 Jun, 17:52 PM] Lady of the Cake met Jingle Bella; there was a double-kill involving a Handbag and a Rat.

[17 Jun, 17:52 PM] Adorable undead minion of Lady of the Cake fatally squeeks Shiroi Ryu. Timekeeping is important!

[17 Jun, 17:50 PM] The Nose of Sauron forcibly de-bearded Stubbles

[17 Jun, 17:25 PM] the Witch of Agnesi made to regret his dangerous decision to pick The Nose of Sauron

[17 Jun, 17:07 PM] Late arrival killed by low-flying Simian Bird.

[17 Jun, 16:10 PM] momento mori was making food, but unfortunately was not expecting the Cauchy Distribution

[17 Jun, 15:05 PM] The Ginger One was molested by the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! In the meantime, A Hint of Nostalgia wafted over the balcony and round the block, in time to, er, touch That man over there who doesn't look at all shifty, suspicious or assassin-like

[17 Jun, 14:55 PM] Bleeding followed by duel: Shiroi Ryu finishes off Comin atcha like a three-letter-acronym

[17 Jun, 14:30 PM] Shiroi Ryu dodges vital inquiry, to detriment of Byrhtnoth.

[17 Jun, 14:24 PM] Simian Bird obtained detailed briefing of the vital status of those present; James- -

[17 Jun, 14:10 PM] An attempted back-stabby Chloroform Tea back-fired (remember, no projectiles in shops), The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head took offence at this and quickly dispatched her.

[17 Jun, 14:05 PM] An ex-Parrot was caught in the act by Jenny Hawkin

[17 Jun, 13:50 PM] A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony engulfs on Jingle Bella and Lady of the Cake though the latter takes it with her.

[17 Jun, 12:49 PM] Shiroi Ryu finally tastes the Epic fish using his own stratagem of lack of subtlety

[17 Jun, 02:40 AM] Hiding in a corner somewhere was reborn and promptly slew Mr Simian Bird

[17 Jun, 02:10 AM] After having camped Edward Ignatius Morland's room for far too long, The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head finally catches him off guard.

[17 Jun, 01:10 AM] James Brister was, indeed, The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head when Byrhtnoth failed to notice that he had respawned.

[16 Jun, 23:15 PM] D for Ential left his window open, so Platypus shot him through it.

[16 Jun, 22:55 PM] Platypus, disguised as a pregnant chav, shot Jingle Bella.

[16 Jun, 22:40 PM] An incredibly unsubtle assassin encountered a very sharp-toothed the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! on top of a hill

[16 Jun, 22:15 PM] Comin atcha like a three-letter-acronym killed Chloroform Tea.

[16 Jun, 21:57 PM] Chloroform Tea killed E for Brick.

[16 Jun, 21:10 PM] Chloroform Tea killed The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head.

[16 Jun, 21:10 PM] Chloroform Tea killed A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony.

[16 Jun, 21:00 PM] Chandler mews got caught in the Omega Flare explosion again... brave, but doomed.

[16 Jun, 19:50 PM] A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony descends on orgasm bridge, killing Don't touch sandvich

[16 Jun, 19:45 PM] What's that? A Hint of Nostalgia in Fitz, coming over Pollux Castlerock?

[16 Jun, 17:40 PM] de stiekemerd got help from Dr. A to kill Jingle Bella

[16 Jun, 15:46 PM] B for Mutton killed Lady of the Cake vis the medium of undead rat

[16 Jun, 15:13 PM] Epic fish killed Simian Bird

[16 Jun, 15:00 PM] A firefight occurred! Pollux Castlerock's legs were chewed off by the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh!, whilst Chandler mews was zapped by an Omega Flare

[16 Jun, 14:55 PM] Chloroform Tea killedA Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony.

[16 Jun, 14:50 PM] Chloroform Tea killed Byrhtnoth while she was lurking.

[16 Jun, 14:15 PM] A double stabbing occurs The Ginger One and Brian Cohen stab each other, meaning That man over there who doesn't look at all shifty, suspicious or assassin-like misses out on the action.

[16 Jun, 14:00 PM] An afternoon picnic, involving Pringles and Cakeface...

[16 Jun, 11:35 AM] Lady of the Cake suprised B for Mutton with a knife kill

[16 Jun, 10:55 AM] The Duchess and Mr. E enjoyed watching the fireworks. The Duchess possibly more so as they contained an unexpected stabbing.

[16 Jun, 06:10 AM] Read all about it! Gunfight outside Trinity May Ball! Carnage as corpses litter the street!

[16 Jun, 06:00 AM] The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head stabbed Chloroform Tea

[16 Jun, 06:00 AM] Cakeface takes a slash at Jingle Bella and A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony!

[16 Jun, 01:12 AM] Cakeface yet again does it Twillo-style by getting rubber banded outside the Trinity Mayball by the Cauchy Distribution!

[15 Jun, 22:20 PM] The Ginger One finally made a hit, square to the chest of The Minister for Silly Walks

[15 Jun, 22:00 PM] Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis is caught out by a bush containing de stiekemerd

[15 Jun, 21:10 PM] Lady of the Cake sucessfully assassinated B for Mutton

[15 Jun, 21:03 PM] While That man over there who doesn't look at all shifty, suspicious or assassin-like was in a euphuria of conversation, Chandler mews took caution of what went on before and with two bangs, cannoned That man over there who doesn't look at all shifty, suspicious or assassin-like to the grave.

[15 Jun, 20:53 PM] Pollux Castlerock was foiled by his unpreparedness for waterless situations; also throwing knives. That man over there who doesn't look at all shifty, suspicious or assassin-like gets a kill

[15 Jun, 20:15 PM] An interaction occured! Augustus the Cat should've been wary of Japanese waitress bearing fortune cookie. The fortune cookie went Snap, Crackle and POW!

[15 Jun, 20:02 PM] Snap, Crackle and POW! shot A non-player

[15 Jun, 19:45 PM] Snap, Crackle and POW! and Epic fish visited Mem Court. ChiliNinja wanted to go to Clare ball and chose suicide by assassin.

[15 Jun, 19:15 PM] The Nose of Sauron shot The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head on the way to Trinity ball

[15 Jun, 19:06 PM] Further events on the way to Trinity ball: The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head killed Chloroform Tea before heading to the Ball in a big crowd of dead assassins; The Great Rapscallion snuck up behind said crowd and "killed" a few corpses, but only wounded the one live assassin, who then stabbed him.

[15 Jun, 19:05 PM] An incredibly unsubtle assassin stood in the middle of the road and shot The Duchess

[15 Jun, 19:00 PM] Chloroform Tea killed Jingle Bella again on the way to May Ball at approximately 7pm. Muah ha ha ha.

[15 Jun, 18:45 PM] An incredibly unsubtle assassin ate some Pringles

[15 Jun, 18:35 PM] D for Ential saw the Cauchy Distribution coming, but apparently didn't have any equpment to defend himself with

[15 Jun, 17:36 PM] Chandler mews and Stubbles finally caught up with a mostly naked Mr. E, after falling for an entirely naked Mr. E's lies earlier today

[15 Jun, 16:55 PM] Yee-Haw! Someone take the cattle in, or if not then round up the B for Mutton

[15 Jun, 15:50 PM] The Duke shot de stiekemerd but only got the leg, leaving The Duchess to stab her (in the arm) and then again, but this time finally killing her!

[15 Jun, 15:15 PM] After a glorious stand-off and several rounds of fire, The Duchess shot Lady of the Cake

[15 Jun, 14:50 PM] Chloroform Tea killed Jingle Bella

[15 Jun, 14:30 PM] Carnage at SciSoc garden party! An ex-Parrot enjoyed himself until he left, killing Paul Tinton, Edward Ignatius Morland and James Brister before dying to Adam Guterres

[15 Jun, 14:15 PM] The Nose of Sauron met Platypus outside SciSoc. Platypus drew her weapon. The Nose of Sauron followed suit and elegantly strafed into a wall. Result = fail

[15 Jun, 14:00 PM] An interaction occured! The Nose of Sauron bumped into C for Miles and Augustus the Cat on the way to unspecified. C for Miles cycled away but The Nose of Sauron managed to catch up with Augustus the Cat and knife him from his bike.

[15 Jun, 13:42 PM] John Barrett was cornered by the The Duke and The Duchess

[15 Jun, 13:30 PM] An interaction occured! The Nose of Sauron shot The Ginger One as The Ginger One wandered the streets in search of food

[15 Jun, 12:30 PM] Carnage at Scisoc! Epic fish slew Pringles

[15 Jun, 12:20 PM] Carnage at Scisoc! Epic fish killed The Great Rapscallion

[15 Jun, 12:20 PM] Carnage at Scisoc! Epic fish stabbed Mr. E in the back

[15 Jun, 03:05 AM] the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! was brutally murdered by Lady of the Cake but there was A Hint of Nostalgia to end her life

[14 Jun, 23:20 PM] Comin atcha like a three-letter-acronym killed A non-player again

[14 Jun, 21:00 PM] Coryan Wilson-Shah shot John Barrett

[14 Jun, 20:00 PM] Coryan Wilson-Shah stabbed Edmund (Ed) Croft

[14 Jun, 19:25 PM] Coryan Wilson-Shah shot Carol Sparke

[14 Jun, 19:00 PM] Woes of Woes, the blue headed one, Amy Booth, involved Pollux Castlerock and Chandler mews in innocent chatter of yellows and aphids, but showed her true self soon enough. The saddest part, dodging was not even on the poor children's minds.

[14 Jun, 18:58 PM] D for Ential encounters a meal of rubber from A Stygian cloud of charcoal ebony on the way to hall

[14 Jun, 18:45 PM] A non-player didnt expect someone to be Comin atcha like a three-letter-acronym

[14 Jun, 18:37 PM] Daniel O'Brien 2 - Innocents of Clare 0; Daniel O'Brien 0 - Dominic Carr 1.

[14 Jun, 17:30 PM] Pollux Castlerock tapped Tree on the shoulder, clarified the rules, and shot her in the gut, narrowly escaping a stabbing. Pollux Castlerock thanks Omega Flare for kindly providing the weapon.

[14 Jun, 16:55 PM] John Barrett was taken unawares by a Tree and died.

[14 Jun, 16:25 PM] Epic fish got eaten by the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh!

[14 Jun, 16:15 PM] Perhaps Omega Flare regrets extolling the virtues of lies to the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! 3 days earlier...

[14 Jun, 16:10 PM] The Duke experienced A Hint of Nostalgia as he molested him

[14 Jun, 16:10 PM] your mum went to see Coryan Wilson-Shah, but Mr Blimey Maloney Esq. killed him as he fled

[14 Jun, 15:45 PM] The Duke ate some more Lady of the Cake

[14 Jun, 15:00 PM] A study in Murray Edwards, where Pringles was killed with her back to the door. A non-closed-room mystery, perhaps?

[14 Jun, 14:25 PM] The Duke caused the momento mori of momento mori

[14 Jun, 11:03 AM] John Barrett saw Simian Bird today. He was wearing a bike helmet. Both perished.

[14 Jun, 00:50 AM] D for Ential was carelessly on the phone, and not expecting the Cauchy Distribution

[14 Jun, 00:40 AM] This is getting embarrassing. Patricide AGAIN. Paul Tinton kills Edmund (Ed) Croft

[13 Jun, 19:00 PM] People should really pay attention to the details of no-kills; D for Ential didn't and then he got stabbed in the back by The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head

[13 Jun, 18:25 PM] The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head punishes the Cauchy Distribution for his poor choice of time to leave the hall queue

[13 Jun, 18:15 PM] Theo Sanderson snuffed it when A for 'Orses shot him with a RBG as he went to the gyp, Augustus the Cat looked on and laughed!

[13 Jun, 17:58 PM] John Barrett was violently aroused from his slumber by the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! There was A Hint of Nostalgia about the whole affair.

[13 Jun, 17:45 PM] An Omega Flare dared to touch (and eat) Don't touch sandvich

[13 Jun, 16:50 PM] Hiding in a corner somewhere wasn't Hiding in a corner somewhere, Hiding in a corner somewhere was right in front of Mr Simian Bird

[13 Jun, 16:10 PM] the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! was still hungry so nommed on C for Miles and Augustus the Cat

[13 Jun, 15:50 PM] Coryan Wilson-Shah shot The Ginger One, ran away from Jacob Samuel Corteen then shot momento mori

[13 Jun, 15:25 PM] The Duke got into bed with Pollux Castlerock and Chandler mews, and they both died of shock...

[13 Jun, 15:15 PM] B for Mutton decided to go and watch some bumps, not realising that Don't touch sandvich had had the same idea.

[13 Jun, 11:30 AM] Omega Flare ate some Lady of the Cake - om nom nom

[13 Jun, 11:00 AM] Omega Flare blasted the time-space continuum around Chloroform Tea

New on Friday, 19 June

[19 Jun, 16:59 PM] Amusement in the press, featuring Pollux Castlerock, Omega Flare and Chandler mews

[19 Jun, 11:45 AM] The Duke is just beaten to the kill of Mr. E by some scoundrel...

New on Thursday, 18 June

[18 Jun, 11:30 AM] Lady of the Cake assassinated B for Mutton once more

[18 Jun, 20:00 PM] The Nose of Sauron tried to shoot The Duchess, overlooking the fact that her ladyship was in formal wear and hence No Water.

[18 Jun, 20:00 PM] Amy Booth invites people to a concert

[18 Jun, 16:22 PM] Cardinal Ximénez of Spain sees an assassin and a very large gun, and runs away as fast as possible, much to the amusement of his parents.

[18 Jun, 13:05 PM] THE NOKESMOBILE IS IN TOWN!

New on Wednesday, 17 June

[17 Jun, 19:33 PM] An ineffectual RBG duel occurred through Don't touch sandvich's door.

[17 Jun, 19:40 PM] The Umpire has his fun with I'd like to claim this RBG on second home allowances please

[17 Jun, 18:59 PM] Ed Nokes will join the game at 00:01:00 on Thursday

[17 Jun, 15:20 PM] Matt Hickford snuck up on the Witch of Agnesi and said 'stab', but alas, Matt Hickford has no weapons.

[16 Jun, 22:30 PM] Don't touch sandvich called the Umpire over to be asked to be let into Trinity, and was shot by a very unobtrusive Platypus

[16 Jun, 20:44 PM] Flash... Aah! flees The Duke again, as the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh!, Tree and A Hint of Nostalgia loiter around and get told by porters that their weapons will be confiscated if they return - caution advised around Churchill.

New on Tuesday, 16 June

[16 Jun, 14:15 PM] Inconclusive water-fight in Pembroke

[16 Jun, 14:00 PM] I saw Simeon Bird.

[16 Jun, 18:35 PM] It went something like this...

[14 Jun, 19:30 PM] Shiroi Ryu flames suicidal innocent.

[16 Jun, 07:05 AM] The Duke and The Duchess paid The Ginger One an early visit.

New on Monday, 15 June

[15 Jun, 21:50 PM] The Duke pennied Cakeface

[15 Jun, 17:44 PM] Mr. E discovers he is not quite as dead as he thought, by being shot by Pollux Castlerock and Chandler mews

[15 Jun, 17:03 PM] John Barrett retired from the game.

[15 Jun, 16:18 PM] Ducal visit to Emmanuel

[15 Jun, 13:00 PM] Carnage at Scisoc! I'm a tard illegally bang kills The assassin currently standing right behind you, calmly taking aim at your head. Blatantly I'm a tard

[15 Jun, 14:20 PM] the Witch of Agnesi teleports onto D for Ential's windowsill, shoots an arm off, wishes him a happy birthday and leaves.

[14 Jun, 19:30 PM] Father, overcome with grief, mutilated Epic fish's corpse

[14 Jun, 23:35 PM] The Duke encountered an unarmed Flash... Aah!, but failed to catch Flash... Aah!

New on Sunday, 14 June

[14 Jun, 23:45 PM] George Davies has signed up and will join the game at 00:01:00 on Tuesday

[14 Jun, 17:25 PM] Platypus stabbed an elegantly-attired young lady who turned out to be an elegantly-attired but dead Lady of the Cake.

[14 Jun, 17:51 PM] Alex Atkins will join the game!

[13 Jun, 19:48 PM] Somebody threw a water bomb at A non-player

New on Saturday, 13 June

[13 Jun, 19:12 PM] John Barrett was violently aroused from his slumber by the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! There was A Hint of Nostalgia about the whole affair.

[13 Jun, 18:08 PM] Looking around Clare for anyone foolhardy enough to open their door this soon after the start of the game

[13 Jun, 17:12 PM] the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! has delicious cake!

[13 Jun, 15:15 PM] the terror shark! Raaaaaaaaaaaargh!, momento mori and A Hint of Nostalgia spotted and chased Comin atcha like a three-letter-acronym! Hungry terror shark!

The Assassins' Guild - Updates