The Assassins' Guild: Mayweek 2009 Game Awards

For various achievements and entertainments, the following awards are presented:

The Lemming Award for the first to die:

Roseanna Pendlebury, who was a little too innocent.

The Holzhauer Award for psychopathy:

Withheld due to no-one even getting 25 kills. You all fail

The Jake Corteen Award for dying far too many times:

Edmund Croft keeping up noble traditions, managed 10. So did Carol Sparke, but she failed to achieve as many kills in the rare times she was alive.

Laurel and Hardy Award for most amusing double act:

Edmund Croft and Paul Tinton, who decided that the father-son bond is something to be cherished.

The Darwin Award for death by stupidity:

Adam Guterres, for dying by dodging into a wall and promptly being shot by Alicia Danks

The Reversed Burden of Johannes Award for unintentionally killing innocents:

Daniel O'Brien managed to get his only two kills ever this game, both of innocents

The Catherine Zentile Award for least innocent innocent:

J Doe, who continues to put in more effort than most of the live Assassins, and who persuaded an ex assassin to return, and went round in a car getting people killed for most of the game.

The Judas Award for trying to betray someone, but they miraculously live thanks to the power of the Almighty:

Adam Guterres for the post-pirate punting backstab of former allies who were not attempting to defend themselves, which happened right in front of The Umpire.

The Yellow Streak Award for impersonating Michael Wallace:

Paul Tinton, was frequently seen running away from all sorts of conflict.

The 'Ginger Cake' Award for the 'smoothest' kill:

Amy Booth for killing Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis by contact poisoning her hand and then shaking hands with him.

The David and Goliath Award for Best Giant-Killing Activity by a New Player:

Charlie Schoonman killed Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis by making cunning use of a bush.

The Obfuscated Tutorial System Award for silliest pseudonym:

Steve Cairns, for "The Cauchy Distribution". No-one expects the Cauchy Distribution!

The Harland Quinn Golden Quill for the most amusing reports:

Alicia Danks gets an honourable mention for her platypus facts.

The Zaphod Beeblebrox award for style:

Ed Nokes who turned up half way through the week to shoot Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis and was generally the most awesome person ever at the Pirate Punting.

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