The Assassins' Guild

[24 Feb, 09:00 AM] Rupert Rutledge (Holmes) is the last to fall to the team of arva and X

[25 Feb, 23:37 PM] Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis (Michelle AKA The ITV News AKA The Penguin AKA PIE! AKA X AKA I'M Richard Gibson AKA Dyeduska Vodyanoy AKA The Grue AKA The 'Other' Duke AKA Bjorn Again AKA The Nuke) emerges as victor, disposing of Emily Scragg (arva)!

[25 Feb, 00:00 AM] So, You say you want a Revolution?.

New on Monday, 23 February

[19 Feb, 21:30 PM] Holmes out-ninjas Dominic Carr (Elfboy AKA NINJA Elfboy)

[23 Feb, 13:00 PM] Michelle and arva shoot Dominic Carr's corpse.

[18 Feb, 19:45 PM] Gordon Levine (Saturn AKA Orfeo) is in fact killed before thunderbolting by Bjorn Again

[22 Feb, 19:30 PM] The elusive inco Bethany English (ScienceFictionDoubleFeature) is finally taken down!

[21 Feb, 18:35 PM] Mutiny in Russia as Dyeduska Vodyanoy takes down Serguei Mouratov (The Soviet Samurai)

[19 Feb, 13:30 PM] Holmes remains good at evasion as well as detection, as The Soviet Samurai discovers.

[19 Feb, 09:00 AM] Henry R. B. Duke (Black Eyed Pete) is sent to the graveyaaaaarrd by The 'Other' Duke and arva

New on Thursday, 19 February

[17 Feb, 16:00 PM] Mmmmm PIE!. PIE! goooood! Unless you're Adina Judy Bernstein (Isha) that is.

[18 Feb, 19:15 PM] After their earlier run in, Black Eyed Pete tries to hunt down arva and Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis again

[18 Feb, 13:15 PM] Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis continues his rampage through the game, felling Ashley Chadwick (The Knight who say Ni). Who can stop him?

[17 Feb, 18:45 PM] Robert Bell (Ernesto) is the latest to have a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises.

[17 Feb, 14:45 PM] The ITV News takes control of the Cambridge media, taking down Philip Hubbard (The BBC News AKA Sir Lai Xi)

[17 Feb, 12:30 PM] Sir Lai Xi fails to impress the emperor with any kills

New on Tuesday, 17 February

[13 Feb, 09:00 AM] Roseanna Pendlebury(Justice!...this time) dies again, this time to Captain Orgasmatron

[17 Feb, 00:01 AM] Nadia Shahanara Islam (Richard "Solvent Insurer" Gibson) was removed from the game.

[15 Feb, 23:00 PM] Has NINJA Elfboy become completely invisible? He succeeds in eluding The Soviet Samurai completely.

[15 Feb, 18:00 PM] Black Eyed Pete has a run-in with arva and Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis.

New on Monday, 16 February

[15 Feb, 23:40 PM] Amelia Booth saw some assassins

[16 Feb, 21:30 PM] Bethany English and NINJA Elfboy had a direct interaction, ooh err!

[15 Feb, 16:00 PM] The BBC News and Rich Miller say ni to The Knight who say Ni

[14 Feb, 14:20 PM] Sir Lai Xi likes the taste of Rich Miller (Banana Flavour)

New on Saturday, 14 February

[12 Feb, 19:00 PM] NINJA Elfboy has fun in the snow, but Jimbob Jones doesn't increase his pleasure

[13 Feb, 11:00 AM] It's arva's turn to shoot the already dead Christopher Powell, with a little help from The Penguin

[12 Feb, 13:00 PM] The mysterious X responds to the challenge by taking down Alasdair Wilkins (Jimbob Jones AKA l33t-girl888) and Brook Roberts (Sheepish AKA I pwn n00bs AKA The Last Biscuit)

[13 Feb, 11:00 AM] Holmes detective skills fail to locate Ernesto

[13 Feb, 10:00 AM] What me? No, I'm not corrupt. appears to be less than corrupt, dispatching the inco Alice Draper (Marvin)

[14 Feb, 08:00 AM] An anonymous bounty! Oh wait...

[12 Feb, 17:20 PM] Bosun Pudding om nom noms another inco, Christopher Powell (You got Sarge'd)

New on Thursday, 12 February

[10 Feb, 13:10 PM] Simon Taylor (Lord Erebus) should have known better than to mess with l33t asssassins like l33t-girl888 and I pwn n00bs

[10 Feb, 13:30 PM] Mary Fortune (Sidhe) discovers that attacking Sheepish is a bad plan. First she shoots an innocent, and then is killed by her target, with a little help from Jimbob Jones

[11 Feb, 20:55 PM] Michelle pulls her belle moves on Christopher Milligan (suckmyrocket)

New on Wednesday, 11 February

[11 Feb, 11:55 AM] Sheepish dishes out his own bran of Justice on Jack Oyston (Hooded Justice)

[11 Feb, 13:00 PM] Shantanu Kafle (The Unsubtle Menace) avoids being thunderbolted by beight caught up by The Soviet Samurai

[11 Feb, 18:20 PM] Black Eyed Pete searches for James Brister without success. Surprise, surprise, he was dead anyway!

New on Tuesday, 10 February

[10 Feb, 12:27 PM] It appears Black Eyed Pete has an ally in his quest for treasure.

[10 Feb, 17:15 PM] Would Oliver Timmis (Lionheart) give him kingdom for some PIE!?

[10 Feb, 13:25 PM] President assassinated! Oh wait it's only James Brister (Baroque Obama) (this time).

[10 Feb, 09:55 AM] The ITV News has a special early morning bulletin for Carol Sparke (Cogito Ergo Femina Sum)

[9 Feb, 11:00 AM] It's the last roll of the dice for Daniel O'Brien (Richard Paul Astley) as Bosun Pudding strikes down another inco.

[9 Feb, 12:00 PM] Not content with being dead again, William P Brooks tries to interfere with Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis and Cogito Ergo Femina Sum

[9 Feb, 22:00 PM] a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises. has a warning for Shantanu Kafle

[9 Feb, 21:00 PM] Shantanu Kafle is apparently subtle enough to evade arva and The Penguin

[9 Feb, 20:45 PM] The BBC News wants to kill incos, but Alice Draper, Nadia Shahanara Islam and Oliver Timmis won't come out to play

New on Monday, 9 February

[9 Feb, 12:10 PM] A familiar face returns?

[9 Feb, 09:40 AM] Is Sheepish really a turtle? X can't find him either.

[8 Feb, 23:00 PM] William P Brooks (G) attacks someone he can't kill. Baroque Obama punishes him accordingly.

[8 Feb, 22:00 PM] NO RUM?! drove Harry Robinson (Dick Deadeye) to his death

[6 Feb, 15:00 PM] ScienceFictionDoubleFeature doesn't get a feature of Benjamin Huw Gibson

[6 Feb, 13:20 PM] I've heard PIE! is a Magnet for the ladies. Perhaps it was a fatal attraction for Karoliina Lehtinen (Magnet)

New on Sunday, 8 February

[6 Feb, 14:00 PM] The ITV News update! Jack William Matthew Jackson (Rhymnocerous) falls to a poison letter!

[8 Feb, 10:40 AM] The Knight who say Ni wants to flsuh away some incos. He was too late for Giles Fleming.

[6 Feb, 19:30 PM] SWAT raid time! No-one was killed, shocker!

[6 Feb, 15:30 PM] The notorious wanted criminal Benjamin Huw Gibson (Cupcake) is finally taken down as he has a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises.

[5 Feb, 13:20 PM] iswydt attempted to molest the Umpire. wywwy?

[7 Feb, 15:00 PM] Black Eyed Pete's lack of booty is beginning to frustrate him, all he sees are corpses!

[7 Feb, 00:30 AM] yohoho and a bottle of rum at 'Pav'. Yuan Cao Zhang (latent electricity) is the latest Churchill inco to fall.

[6 Feb, 18:15 PM] l33t-girl888, I pwn n00bs and Holmes try their luck with Dominic Hinkins (The Avuncular Troglodyte) again. This time Holmes gets him.

[6 Feb, 11:00 AM] Jessica Donnithorne (Dora the explorer) may have explored the antartic, but she certainly didn't see The Penguin coming.

[5 Feb, 20:00 PM] NINJA Elfboy flushes away Giles Fleming (Mr Scrub), with a little help from his comrade The Soviet Samurai

New on Friday, 6 February

[4 Feb, 18:00 PM] Need to remove the inco Merlin Evans (USING ALL CAPS MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL)? This calls for Captain Charisma!

[5 Feb, 15:00 PM] Do you prefer Bosun Pudding or PIE!? Anthony Yong Kheng Cordero Ng (Bruce Lee) would say neither

[5 Feb, 14:00 PM] Does Banana Flavour still like the flavour of incos? Giles Fleming doesn't want to find out.

New on Thursday, 5 February

[5 Feb, 11:30 AM] Merlin Evans is popular today! Ernesto can't find him either

[6 Feb, 00:00 AM] Guess what? It's another anonymous bounty!

[5 Feb, 11:00 AM] The BBC News cannot report the death of any incos.

[4 Feb, 22:00 PM] Mutilation is contagious, everyone's at it! Bosun Pudding joins in the festivities with Matt Taylor

[3 Feb, 19:10 PM] Ben Gadsby (Brownbeard) gets caught up trying to kill the Newnham inco, as he also falls to Justice!...this time

[4 Feb, 20:00 PM] arva shoots the corpse of Lauren Withall (Lethal Llama) - she had fallen to the poison letter of The Penguin.

[4 Feb, 19:10 PM] Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis ruins Caroline Tecks (Panthunter)'s dinner.

New on Wednesday, 4 February

[4 Feb, 20:10 PM] Black Eyed Pete is treasureless once again, shooting the corpse of Caroline Tecks

[4 Feb, 14:30 PM] Matt Taylor (Grubberlang) discovers that the police aren't as incompetent as he is. a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises. continues to serve up justice.

[4 Feb, 12:00 PM] Stephen Tordoff (MrF), you got headcrabbed. You got Sarge'd imaginative weaponry strikes.

[3 Feb, 14:00 PM] Orfeo unsuccesfully vists Cogito Ergo Femina Sum. Perhaps the radio is insufficently operatic?

[4 Feb, 13:00 PM] Richard Paul Astley cannot be letter-rolled by ScienceFictionDoubleFeature

[3 Feb, 19:00 PM] KT Bosse-Foy (Robot in Disguise) dies lots of times. Looks like Justice!...this time.

[4 Feb, 11:00 AM] Sheepish is not yet Sidhe's lamb to the slaughter

[3 Feb, 10:00 AM] suckmyrocket can't be sucked in by poison letters.

New on Tuesday, 3 February

[3 Feb, 15:00 PM] More mutilation. Lord Erebus shoots the zombified Mukund Kanoria

[2 Feb, 21:30 PM] Michelle shows off her muscles by killing Jimmy Bost (Biceps Femoris)

[3 Feb, 14:00 PM] Alexander Scott (Prometheus) may be the bringer of fire, but arva is the bringer of poison

[2 Feb, 14:30 PM] Michelle drinks up Jacob Wills (Beef Tea)

[2 Feb, 20:30 PM] There are no mafias in Cambridge, as l33t-girl888, I pwn n00bs and Holmes can confirm. The Avuncular Troglodyte escapes their clutches, but Mukund Kanoria (Kundi) does not.

[3 Feb, 00:15 AM] DanceDance Revolution: Submission Number One

[2 Feb, 12:00 PM] arva discovered that Allie Rinck (ink) bleeds more than ink.

[2 Feb, 18:30 PM] yohoho is becoming quite the inco basher. Kai Van Duuren (Half-dutch) is full-dead.

New on Monday, 2 February

[2 Feb, 15:00 PM] Neither am I shows the force of the law. Bibek Mukherjee (Hercule Poirot) and Parin Shah (Donkey Oaty) are the latest inco casualties.

[2 Feb, 10:50 AM] Amelia Booth makes a bid for the furthest ever kill, taking down Charlie Schoonman (the unwavering hand of fate) in Salzburg

[1 Feb, 19:00 PM] Darkness falls on Kaifei Yu (never ending night). yohoho continues his fine police work, with the help of What me? No, I'm not corrupt..

[1 Feb, 22:30 PM] Cogito Ergo Femina Sum, Baroque Obama and G mutilate Jonah Hill

[31 Jan, 10:00 AM] Magnet fails to attract Robot in Disguise

[1 Feb, 17:55 PM] The Knight who say Ni avenges their friends by killing Luke Sharpin (Kluke)

[1 Feb, 15:00 PM] arva's coin trick accounts for Tanuj Bhojwani (Sulphane)

[31 Jan, 13:00 PM] Sam Atkinson (Professor Challenger found the lost world, and then he) found Michelle's poison letter

[31 Jan, 18:15 PM] yohoho and a bottle of Matthew Yates (Ali Dia)

New on Sunday, 1 February

[31 Jan, 18:20 PM] Banana Flavour didn't like the incompetent flavour of Todd Davidson (Capital T).

[31 Jan, 14:00 PM] Incobash group 1 (bikes): A disticnt lack of incos.

[31 Jan, 14:00 PM] Incobash group 2 (town centre): Tushar Dabral (Alcohilic), Leo Scott (Ginge) and Jonah Hill (Meg) are eliminated

[31 Jan, 14:20 PM] You got Sarge'd and Lord Erebus hunt out the inco Meg, but he doesn't want to play.

New on Saturday, 31 January

[30 Jan, 10:00 AM] Michelle's special letter is successfully nullified by Benjamin Huw Gibson

[30 Jan, 20:00 PM] Playtime is over for Malachy Gerard Higgins (The Joker). What me? No, I'm not corrupt. takes him down.

[27 Jan, 21:00 PM] Rhymnocerous refuses to suckmyrocket

[30 Jan, 20:00 PM] Richard "Solvent Insurer" Gibson fails to account for Sidhe and Holmes, despite assistance from arva

[30 Jan, 15:00 PM] Joseph Reed is mutilated again! This time Ernesto is the culprit

[30 Jan, 16:00 PM] Banana Flavour does not mix with Ginger, whilst Malachy Gerard Higgins remains elusive.

[30 Jan, 19:00 PM] Kluke can't lure out Prometheus. Perhaps he should go to the store to get more fire?

[30 Jan, 14:00 PM] Isha lacks sufficient latin to find Cogito Ergo Femina Sum

[30 Jan, 13:20 PM] The Soviet Samurai is left disappointed by a lack of Sulphane, but I'm sure his nose isn't.

[28 Jan, 14:00 PM] Clearly The Unsubtle Menace was being quite subtle, as they elude Marvin

[29 Jan, 17:30 PM] Some police try to clean up the streets of Cambridge, but again Benjamin Huw Gibson proves elusive.

New on Friday, 30 January

[29 Jan, 12:00 PM] The reckless criminal William P Brooks (I have no need of a pseudonym because I am going wanted (low redemption conditions please!)) is finally taken down! What havoc will he now cause within the police force?

[29 Jan, 09:55 AM] Is this the end for twatism? Joseph Reed (If it moves T#%T it) can't move fast enough.

[29 Jan, 21:15 PM] NINJA Elfboy showed off his moves on James Wilkinson Barwise (Albi The Racist), who dispatched of Anthony Price (What she said)

New on Thursday, 29 January

[29 Jan, 17:50 PM] Black Eyed Pete remains treasureless.

[29 Jan, 16:30 PM] There may me no more muffin men, but baking muffins leads to Julie Chan (knawit)'s demise.

[29 Jan, 13:00 PM] A lack of Cupcake leaves ScienceFictionDoubleFeature hungry for more (more, more, more...)

[29 Jan, 16:00 PM] Dora the explorer has a spring in their step, eliminating John Shirley (grasshopper)

[29 Jan, 12:15 PM] Joseph Reed's not having a good day, this time shot by Neither am I

[29 Jan, 04:00 AM] It's another arrrrnonymous bounty!

[28 Jan, 18:30 PM] The Joker's misunderstanding of licit targets fails to amuse Matthew Evans (last rites).

[28 Jan, 18:00 PM] Perhaps the lack of pie finally got to Coryan Wilson-Shah (NO PIE?!), as he killed by If it moves T#%T it, though not before kicking the ass of Foysol Miah (With karate I'll kick your ass, from here to right over there).

[28 Jan, 16:30 PM] The Avuncular Troglodyte deflates Theo Sanderson (Inflatable Mongoose)'s attempt

[27 Jan, 16:00 PM] I heard there was a secret NO PIE?!. Adam Morgan (Peregrine) didn't.

[28 Jan, 10:00 AM] Joseph Reed ends Luke James Montgomery Robins (The Author)'s novel.

[28 Jan, 19:20 PM] Michelle takes out the trash, disposing of Adam S.Backer (Dan The Garbage Man)

[28 Jan, 12:00 PM] Careless talk costs lives! Or at least your own, in the case of Thomas Alexander (This IS a gun in my pocket!)

[28 Jan, 16:15 PM] Gordon Levine has a good plan, and gets the licit kill need for redemption, disposing of Alex Guttenplan (Philby)

New on Wednesday, 28 January

[27 Jan, 15:25 PM] Prometheus scorches Robert Rivera (Shadowgerbil).

[28 Jan, 13:00 PM] Another kill for Coryan Wilson-Shah in Harry Robinson (That was unexpected...). Can't say That was unexpected...

[27 Jan, 19:30 PM] The Author writes the postscript for Yi Luo (Screaming Dove)

[27 Jan, 19:00 PM] Another anonymous bounty. Who will claim the ptreasure?

New on Tuesday, 27 January

[27 Jan, 13:15 PM] Duh duh duh....another wanted bites the dust! Alicia Danks (wywwy) is brought to justice by Baroque Obama, though not before dispatching Matt Hickford (dr -NIM)

[26 Jan, 17:15 PM] Some serious interactions occurred! Harry Huang (Peter Duffett-Smith) was the only casualty.

[27 Jan, 13:00 PM] Do away with Andrew Hobson (The Antagonised Ape)? That's What she said!

[27 Jan, 13:30 PM] William P Brooks kills again! Who will be The Artist (Thomas Martin Prince) of his demise?

[25 Jan, 13:00 PM] With karate I'll kick your ass, from here to right over there and If it moves T#%T it attempt to follow the heinous wanted criminals, but to no avail.

[24 Jan, 13:00 PM] Jimbob Jones was not home, so his assailant could not T#%T it.

[27 Jan, 10:40 AM] Lord Erebus guns down the corpse of Jane Aston

[27 Jan, 12:00 PM] Kluke receives a poisoned envelope.

[26 Jan, 20:30 PM] Another wanted! Gordon Levine kills his target Jamie Goodland (Flash Kong), but accidently takes down Jane Aston (Turnus) in the process.

[26 Jan, 12:00 PM] Sheepish strikes again, this time Joachim Cassel (diavolo abile) is his victim

[27 Jan, 08:55 AM] The streets of Cambridge are slightly safer as Adam Guterres (Seafarer Attic Butler King) is taken down. Read about it on The BBC News!

[24 Jan, 10:00 AM] MrF missed an important bulletin on The BBC News

[25 Jan, 13:00 PM] William P Brooks shot lots of innocents

[25 Jan, 20:30 PM] Philip Hubbard takes on five assassins, but nobody is killed

[26 Jan, 19:30 PM] Holmes seeks out The Avuncular Troglodyte. Perhaps he is lost without his trusty assistant?

[26 Jan, 20:00 PM] Some assassins fancied some Cupcake. They left hungry.

[26 Jan, 19:45 PM] The Joker knew Harry Steggles (The Muffin Man), so Elfboy killed him.

[26 Jan, 12:00 PM] Elfboy shows his hand. Ben Gadsby (Josie Mitchell) is struck down

[27 Jan, 02:00 AM] An anonymous bounty was placed!

[26 Jan, 09:00 AM] Coryan Wilson-Shah takes down Chris Hands (Touch of Pink) and Aaron Barker(Richard "Somewhat Inimitable" Gibson). Who will stop him?

New on Monday, 26 January

[25 Jan, 22:50 PM] William P Brooks attacks the police force, pigging Roseanna Pendlebury (Justice! Or at least doughnuts...)

[25 Jan, 15:00 PM] The Muffin Man ran out of muffins, so he snacked on a Elaine Oliver(mojito)

[25 Jan, 14:00 PM] diavolo abile cuts down Netta Chachamu (the muffin man)

[25 Jan, 12:40 PM] Sheepish kills his would-be assailant Charlie Schoonman (some loathsome individual whose name is not worth mentioning) and accidently kills his ally/target Mark Pendar-Bare (Heydar). Look Sheepish!

[25 Jan, 12:10 PM] Lord Erebus narrowly escapes Adam Guterres

[25 Jan, 11:00 AM] Adam Guterres, Coryan Wilson-Shah and Paul Tinton went on a poisoning spree. Jeremy Kneebone (Artichoke) fell afoul.

[25 Jan, 10:00 AM] Sunday mornings are a killer for Oliver Dominik Caspari (Gabriel Otto Dwarfsmith)

[25 Jan, 19:00 PM] David Reid (Sicarius Clandestinus) resigned from the game

[25 Jan, 16:00 PM] Adam Guterres beams Michael McCulloch (Scotty) to the grave.

[25 Jan, 19:00 PM] The Muffin Man took down the nefarious criminal Paul Tinton (General Evil)

[25 Jan, 12:00 PM] Paul Tinton is a Duncan Stibbard Hawkes (Pain in the Assassin)

New on Sunday, 25 January

[25 Jan, 12:00 PM] William P Brooks's rampage burns away Daniel Peckham (The fireman)

[24 Jan, 14:00 PM] Go wanted by shooting Edward Ignatius Morland (Jaqen H'ghar) and Roseanna Pendlebury (The Poultrygeist)? wywwy?

[24 Jan, 21:48 PM] Never stand too close to the Plodge! William Warman (Nightjar) is brutally murdered.

[24 Jan, 15:30 PM] Someone forgot that there are no bombs in this game.

New on Saturday, 24 January

[24 Jan, 15:30 PM] The The Joker strikes! Jack Oyston(The Evil Weevil) isn't laughing.

[24 Jan, 19:00 PM] Carnage occurs! Aaron Barker(a small child), Jonathan David Benwell(The Cameraman) and Jonathan Marten(The Dread Pirate LeChuck) all fall. Cupcake manages to escape.

[24 Jan, 17:45 PM] Feeling blue(Francis Bleibel)? Must be because there's NO PIE?!

[24 Jan, 17:05 PM] Michelle shows a killer instinct in his Rorschach(Steven John) test

[24 Jan, 15:00 PM] Nicholas Fullerton(Gilgamesh) was read his last rites

[24 Jan, 11:50 AM] Evelyn Brockmann(Charlotte Corday) is cleaned up by Mr Scrub, as You got Sarge'd watches from behind his door

[24 Jan, 13:30 PM] Black Eyed Pete searched for assassins, but none were made to walk the plank

[24 Jan, 19:15 PM] Cupcake committed a heinous crime.

[24 Jan, 14:00 PM] With karate I'll kick your ass, from here to right over there fails to end her target's Alcohilic life

[24 Jan, 09:00 AM] NO PIE?! There's NO PIE?! but WHY is there NO PIE?! Touch of Pink fails to provide PIE!

The Assassins' Guild - Updates

New on Friday, 27 February